Hello, and yes, I am still here! I am just trying to finish this story before I publish the story, but I also don't want to leave you guys hanging. Honestly, I am not leaving this story! I've got almost 8 chapters written down, so I'm not done yet!

Back to business!

HAPPY FREAKING NEW YEAR and may it be a better year for the world eh?

Onwards with the story, from Emma's perspective this time!

Chapter 3
Journey

Emma was a wreck.

She wasn't often. It wasn't often that she succumbed to her emotions like this, but it was almost Christmas, she was alone and Neal had once again broken her heart.

She was so stupid. Stupid for hoping he'd see the light, stupid for still loving him after all these years, stupid for not seeing that Neal had long since moved on with Tamara. She'd been blind, so blind. Her own story of the day came back to haunt her. Love was indeed blind. She knew that. And yet, she let it blind her. What happened to her control freakiness? Why was she not in control of anything in her life right now?

(Deep down, she knew that she'd never been in control of her life. Other people had always made decisions for her. Her parents giving her up. Neal pushing her away. Her foster families sending her away. It had never been a decision on her part.)

Crying, Emma threw some food for Snowy the cat in her bowl (who first rubbed her head against Emma's leg in comfort before attacking her food) and turned on the gas to make herself some hot chocolate, but stopped what she was doing the moment she heard the gas flow out of the furnace and into the open air. It could be over in a few minutes. No more pain. No more suffering. No more Neal. She blew out the match that was slowly burning to its end, and she bend over slowly, feeling the gas enter her nose. It'll be over soon...

Pling.

Her eyes snapped open as the sound of her computer jerked her back to reality. With a gasp, she scrambled to put the gas out and stumbled to open a window. What in the fucking hell was she doing?! Had Neal pushed her down so low that she was willing to die because of him? No fucking way, no way she was going to let Neal decide her fate! She slapped her face twice, before setting out to do what she wanted to in the first place. Make cocoa.

Pling. Pling.

Right, her computer. Thank God for whatever made her computer make a sound. She'd be dead if it hadn't. She sat down at her table, looking at what made her computer made the lifesaving noise. It was from the Vacation Rentals site; she'd received a new message. She clicked it open and read the message.

RedRuby: I'm interested in renting your house.
RedRuby: I'm wondering if your house is still for rent this Christmas, because if it is, you could be a real life saver.
RedRuby: I know it's ridiculously late to be asking you this, but if you're at all interested, please contact me.

Emma stared at the screen for a moment, not believing this. This had to be a sign. If this 'RedRuby' would be interested in Emma's proposition, she'd be free from this place for a few weeks. She'd be free from Neal.

She scrambled to sit down behind her laptop, her heart pounding in her throat with excitement.

WhiteSwan: I'm very interested, but my house is really only available for home exchange.

Emma stared at the screen as she watched RedRuby type.

RedRuby: Home exchange, what is that?

Emma rushed to answer. This was her ticket out.

WhiteSwan: We switch houses, cars, everything. I haven't done it before but friends of mine have.

It stayed quiet for a while after that, as if RedRuby was discussing this with someone. Emma grew restless, and she decided to remedy that herself.

WhiteSwan: Where are you?

"Please say somewhere far away." Emma begged silently.

The answer came immediately.

RedRuby: LA

"LA?!" Emma exclaimed loudly (Snowy shot under the couch, hissing) before all her tears instantly vanished. That sounded perfect.

WhiteSwan: Never been there, but I always wanted to go. I'm Emma, by the way. I'm very normal, control freak, non-smoker, single.

That last part made her cry a bit again, but she recovered quickly.

RedRuby: I'm Ruby, but everyone calls me Wolf Girl behind my back.

Emma smiled as she typed a quick 'hi', and Ruby responded in kind with a smiley face. Then it was quiet for a moment.

RedRuby: typing...
RedRuby: I must say, your house looks idyllic.

Emma's face split into a grin.

WhiteSwan: Really? What does your house look like?
RedRuby: It's nice, but somewhat bigger than yours.
WhiteSwan: Not hard to be. J

She chuckled as she typed. Her bad mood was gone, replaced with hope and happiness. This woman, whose name was most likely Ruby, was very kind to her. It was silent for a long time, until she saw Ruby typing again. She hoped to God Ruby would accept this.

RedRuby: One question though...
WhiteSwan: Shoot.
RedRuby: Are there any men in your town?

Emma thought for a second, remembering Neal, but he lived in London. And Victor...well, he wouldn't show his face for some time here. She typed her reply quickly.

WhiteSwan: None.

Not a second later, Ruby's reply was there, filling Emma's heart with joy.

RedRuby: When can I come?

Emma had to read it twice over before she fully understood the gravity. She was going to LA, away from her awful life for a while, away from Neal, away from everything in this life. She was going home.

She had no idea how she had ended up here in the UK with the foster system. She was born in Maine, in the United States. At the age of six, the Whale family found her in a foster house that they visited to donate something to it. They asked if she wanted to come with them to see the UK. Their son was kind to her, played hide-and-seek and tag with her. He even helped her with her writing. After two days spent with them, she'd known she wanted to come with. The foster system made a small fuss about it, but a week later, she was seated with all her prized possessions next to Victor. He'd brought a deck of cards and taught her how to poker all the way here. She loved Victor from the first day, just like he loved her. Their relationship was strong. Her life was good after that.

She returned to the now with a smile on her face. She loved Victor, and his parents, and they'd always supported her. She knew they would be happy to hear she was giving herself a change of scenery.

WhiteSwan: Tomorrow too soon?

RedRuby: typing...
RedRuby: Tomorrow's perfect!

Emma started grinning madly, as her mind reeled with planning. What to take, how to manage a ticket, how to do all this. She planned all night together with Ruby (on the phone this time, Ruby sounded really lovely), bought a last-minute ticket and packed her backs for two whole weeks. She called Victor, but he didn't pick up. Well, she'd call him from LA. She called her boss, and told him she was going to take a two week holiday. It didn't take much to convince him.

At 7 AM, Emma made her way into the plane that would be bringing her to her home country. She barely even remembered it and she was buzzing with excitement. She placed her bag in front of her and looked out the window at the ground personnel loading up the baggage and arranging the final things before take-off. Nerves were coiling in the pit of her stomach. She was so ready for this, to be away from England and, more importantly, Neal. She smiled at the two elderly women sitting down next to her, just as her phone bleeped. With a smile, she looked down at it. The message made her heart sink and her smile falter.

Neal.

Hi Duckling!
Heard you were going to the City of Angels. First holiday in three years, congratulations! How do I reach you?
Neal

Emma felt tears sting behind her eyes. Of course he had to come in and try to fuck up her holiday. With a deep sigh, she started typing her reply, as silent tears ran over her cheeks. She was ending an era, and though she knew it was best for her, it still hurt.

Neal,
We both know I need to fall out of love with you.
Would be nice if you let me try.

She sent it, and then turned her phone off for the flight. It took her the entire take-off and a good hour of sustained flight to get her mind off Neal, but when she finally managed that...she felt so free. The women next to her were chatting happily, but she'd put her headphones on before they could pull her into a conversation and now Emma was staring out the window, watching the ocean shimmer miles below her and white clouds rush by like pillows. She wondered what it would be like to live on a cloud. What kind of life would that be, where everything is only fifty shades of white, where everything is soft? With a smirk, she took her notebook and lucky pen to write down the idea that had formed in her head. One day, she was going to publish something. Then she'd be away from that stupid writers' magazine she worked at now, and she could live her days in her cottage, just writing and living. It had been her biggest dream ever since she was a little girl and she first read a really good book that Victor had given to her when she first came to England. Become a writer, do whatever she liked the entire day. No one to control her. It was her own personal heaven.

Ten hours literally flew by and Emma was startled awake by a popping in her ears. She took off her headphones just in time to hear the pilot announce that they had started their descent to the city of angels. Emma looked out the window, immediately wide awake with excitement. The city was already awake, its streets swarmed with gleaming cars in the bright sunlight. That's right, it was a completely different climate here. No snow. Christmas suddenly got a really great summer touch to it, and Emma loved every second of it.

Another forty minutes later, she was in the cab, wishing she had more eyes to take in everything she saw. The palm trees, the deep blue sea, the sheer happiness that it all brought. She awed at it, awed at the perfect peace she felt. That had been a very, very long time coming, that peace. Emma was so happy at that moment, that she thought she couldn't become happier.

She was wrong.

When the taxi dropped her off in front of the gate, she was overcome with happiness and above that, disbelief. It was huge. And with huge she meant freaking enormous. It was like all the other houses here, but it was bigger than she ever dared to dream. The gate opened for her with the code that Ruby had texted her and she advanced slowly, admiring everything. There was a beautiful apple tree, and pine trees and palm trees all in one front garden, their leaves and fruits waving in the strong, warm wind.

When she opened the door with the key from under the doormat, she could no longer contain herself. She dropped her bags on the floor in the hallway, swung the door closed and started exploring the immense house. Everything was so disproportionally expensive that it made her extremely excited and happy. Yelling out her surprise at every door she opened, she rushed through the house.

There was an entire gym in one room, a study, a freaking swimming pool outside. The TV room stopped her in her tracks for a moment and she stared at the intense setting of a huge screen and at least three different appliances with over a hundred buttons. She backed out of the room carefully, absentmindedly worrying about how she was going to handle that when she wanted to watch a bit of television.

After she'd marvelled at the second study, she turned and saw another room, the door open and an immense, incredibly comfortable-looking bed. Squealing like a little girl, she threw herself at the room and jumped into the bed. She sunk into the bed, the soft feathers encasing her. She noticed that the mattress wasn't just a mattress. It wasn't an ordinary bed, this was a water bed!

Emma sat up and shrugged her coat off, throwing it over the chair next to the bed and she smiled happily, almost dreamily. This was her fresh start. This was what she had been waiting for, for three years. Here she could move on.

She closed her eyes and curled up on herself, her body giving into the sleep that was still fighting with her.

She wondered how Ruby was doing right now...

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