Chapter 16
Everything hurts. My back, my arms, even my scalp hurts.
The worst of it is in my head. Hot, white, thrashing pain rips through my skull every time I blink. The world is so dark, I don't know where the darkness ends and I begin. I try once more to open my eyelids. Open. Close. Open. Close. This mantra repeats in my mind as I try with everything I have to ignore the throbbing. I still see nothing.
Am I dead? Is this what it feels like to be dead? I hope not.
Slowly and very steadily, my senses begin to return. I run my fingers through the rough fabric in which my body is laid upon. It smells clean, as if it has been recently vacuumed. I can't hear anything but my pulse roaring in my ears. I attempt to slow my breathing so my heart rate might just have a chance to decrease, it's pumping against my chest so hard.
Maybe I'm in the hospital? That's right, I've been in an accident and I'm in the infirmary waiting to come round from the general anaesthetic. I inhale a shallow breath, it doesn't smell like a hospital.
Instinctively, I lift my head and it quickly collides with something solid. I feel myself slipping away again, into unconsciousness. I try to shift so my knees are near my head and breathe in and out, in and out. It actually helps. But where am I?
I decide the best plan of action is to mentally retrace my steps. The last thing I remember is a meeting with Darius, Imogen and Jack. I left and went to search for Christina and Will… I went to speak to Will by the chasm, yes, that's right. Something happened between that meeting and seeing Will that has led me here, I just know it.
My mind clutches at a faint memory… Tobias, a note, a trap… Evelyn. Eric. Realisation dawns on me. They've taken me, I've been kidnapped.
I try to speak out into the darkness. "Hello?" My voice doesn't sound like my own. I stretch out my arms and legs to their full length and collide with yet another barrier. My fingers trace the material where my arms hit. Reaching around the space around me I realise it is shaped in a rectangle. Longer vertically. I extend my arm out above me to where my head hit. Metal.
I clutch to images in my mind with difficulty as I try to imagine exactly my whereabouts.
Suddenly, the box dips low and rises. My body lifts away from the surface. I crash back down and I hear a loud curse as the wind is knocked out of me and I struggle to catch my breath. Coming from not so far away. It sounded like Evelyn.
I strain to hear the faint conversation.
"Well, it's lucky we are nearly here, you're going to have to carry her."
"It would be my pleasure." I can almost hear Eric's smile as he speaks the words and a chill runs down my spine. Please no.
It's in that moment that I realise where I am. In Abnegation, my friend Susan's father travels throughout the city for his job, so he has a car and drives her to and from school. We only rode in the car on occasion. Most of the time, Caleb made an excuse and said we would never want to inconvenience him. When we did ride in the car though, we would always place our bags into the trunk. The material, the spacing, the smell, it all seems familiar now.
The sound of large boots thumping on the ground brings me back to the present. He's coming round to the back of the car. I must think and think quickly. What do I do?
A blast of cold, icy air hits me. I try my best to stop the shaking in my bones I hadn't been paying attention to. Steadying my breath, I lie as still as possible.
"She's still out cold."
He roughly grabs and hauls me into his arms. I really wish I could open my eyes to see where I am. Not wanting to give anything away, I count how many steps it takes to arrive at our destination. Fifty-two, fifty-two steps. Not that it will help me in the slightest.
I hear the creek of a door. We descend steps and I know I'm in a basement. When I'm certain Eric isn't looking, I peek open my lashes and see a chair in the centre of the room. A single light bulb hanging from thin wire sways above it.
I don't know what it is about this room, but something bad is going to happen here. I feel like all the oxygen has been removed from my lungs. I finally understand what Tobias' fear of claustrophobia feels like, not being able to breathe. As if the walls could close in and consume you at any moment.
There are four stone grey walls enclosing me with not one window. Grey walls? A glimmer of hope rises inside of me when I think of somewhere near my old home. But it can't be. They wouldn't be so foolish.
He throws me into the chair and I slump down as if still unconscious. I'm engulfed in a bucket of cold water and splutter until I can finally catch my breath again. That was uncalled for.
"The stiffs awake!" Eric yells at the top of his voice, I can't believe he has the audacity to still call me a stiff. My head feels fuzzy, but I need to be okay to be able to get out of this.
The sound of a set of heels descending the stairs pulls me up short. Suddenly I'm frightened. I've lost all words that I was previously thinking about speaking, there is nothing I have left to say to either of them.
I take one look over Eric – how much he has changed since his time in Dauntless. His clothes are torn, he is unshaven and hasn't showered in a long time. There are gaping holes in his ears from where his large piercings used to be, however there is still some metal bars wedged into his eyebrows. They are now yellow and full of puss. Although his height hasn't changed, which keeps him towering over me, he was much bigger in build at Dauntless. Now he couldn't be more than eleven stone soaking wet. His eyes are gaunt and cheeks hollow from lack of food. I pity him.
Evelyn enters the room and smiles sweetly at me. "It's good to see you again Tris."
"Likewise." I answer just as sweetly. Better to play this bitch at her own game.
"I apologise for the way bringing you here was handled. It was the only way to make sure we didn't raise an alarm" When I don't reply, Evelyn gives a subtle nod in Eric's direction.
He slaps me hard across the face.
"Speak when you are spoken to, stiff." He hisses, centimetres from my face. I don't give them the satisfaction of a reaction to the blow.
"I'm no longer a stiff, if you remember. Do you not recall me coming first in initiation?" It's the first opportunity I've had to be smug, and I have to admit I enjoyed it. "Why am I here?"
Evelyn begins to pace around the chair in which I am sitting.
"You're here because the Factionless need your help." She gives my shoulder a gentle squeeze. She turns to face me and lowers herself so we are eye to eye. "We need to overthrow Darius."
"Okay."
She shoots a sideways glance at Eric and whispers silently, "Well that was easier than we thought, maybe we didn't need to bring her all the way here." He lets out a small laugh. Obviously, they have become close. I wonder how Tobias would feel about that. He's always hated Eric since meeting him during his initiation at Dauntless.
My thoughts wander to the Purity War, where the faction system was created. I don't believe it's working anymore. One leader has already been overthrown, now we want to overthrow another? How long can this go on for, the need for power? This can't be right, things have to change. Will getting rid of Darius be the change necessary to get everything to work again? I guess there is only one way to find out.
"How do you plan on doing it?" I ask.
"That's where you come in." The incredulous look on my face must lead her onto explaining how. "Well, for starters you are in Dauntless, you're the closest to him. He's keeping an eye on you, too. I know you can do this Tris." Her voice is pleading. Suddenly I'm Tris to her, now she wants something from me. Maybe she even wants to be my friend? Over my dead body.
I'm seventeen years old. Do I really have it in me to kill somebody? Darius has hurt many people, he's done things whilst drunk on power, but is death really the answer? I think of the previous occasion a leader was killed. I now know who did it. My mother. Could following in her footsteps help our society? I don't think I have it in me. I'm not brave enough for that.
"What would be in it for me?" What a selfish question to ask, but I have to.
"I will make sure that your relationship with Tobias has my approval. You won't hear another word about it from me. You'll be the permanent fixture. If you want, I will leave you both alone." Well, that would be nice… But how could she offer up her relationship with Tobias so easily? I finally see her for what she truly is, somebody needing power more than anything else. My father's words come back to haunt me. A lust for power leads people into dark and empty places. He was right. What will happen if Darius is overthrown, will Evelyn rise up? I struggle in my mind for the right answer.
If Darius isn't overthrown, an endless string of bad things will happen. If he is, Evelyn may take drastic action to become a leader. I can tell by the way she wants this to happen.
But it's not enough. I couldn't kill someone. I couldn't look into someone's eyes as the life drains from them. It would plague me for the rest of my life.
"I can't." My voice is a barely audible whisper.
Evelyn's expression turns stone cold.
"You must." She says firmly.
"I can't." My voice has become louder, more insistent.
"Another war will start. What Darius didn't realise is that now he's made nearly half of Dauntless Factionless, we have tripled in numbers. We have weapons. If you aren't going to take him down as silently as possible, we will. With force. Innocent people will die, probably some of your friends. Is that what you want? Even if you don't do this for me, what do you think Tobias would want you to do?" She just had to use him against me. The least selfish thing to do would be to stop Evelyn from killing innocent people. How could I be sure this isn't another trap? She could be just manipulating me to do what she wants.
"I don't trust you."
"You don't need to trust me. You just have to listen to what I am saying. It won't just be Darius who dies if we have to carry out this mission ourselves. We need you Tris, plain and simple. You are the only Divergent left who can still maintain control under any serum."
"How do you know that?" How does she have that information already, so quickly?
"Word travels fast." She picks at the gaping hole at her elbow in her worn suit. She slowly lifts one eyebrow to show she is awaiting a response.
"I can't." I repeat.
"Fine, then we will have to sort this problem out ourselves." Both Evelyn and Eric turn to leave. "But just to let you know, since you don't want to help us, you're no longer needed." I rise from the chair immediately but lose my balance and trip. The last sound I hear is the deadbolt slam shut on the door. Then the lights go out.