Hello my darlings! My, it has been a long time, hasn't it? Six days this time, if my mathmatical abilities are correct.
Kathy went on a vacation along with my modivation (Haha, that rhymed!), but they're back now, and just in time to distract me from studying for my midterms. Yeay!
Hinata sighed contentedly as she woke up, surrounded by a familiar and beloved warmth. As usual she found herself acting as Naruto's personal teddy bear, the blonde man curling his strong arms around her so that she was left with no wiggle room, his legs tangling with hers so that she didn't know if they'd ever be able to unravel themselves from each other. One of his hands was threaded in her hair at the back of her head as if to bring her impossibly closer, his face buried into the curve of her neck as his hot breath puffed against her skin.
She silently giggled as she closed her eyes again, bringing her hand up to thread her fingers through the soft gravity defying strands of her husband's hair, happy to just remain in their exact position forever.
Naruto mumbled a bit at the sudden movement and snuggled even closer, his arms tightening around her as he nuzzled her throat, his hands beginning to wander in his usual morning wake-up routine. Hinata giggled again, snuggling closer in turn.
"Good morning, Naruto-kun." She murmured sweetly, Naruto managing to garble out something along the same lines, his voice absurdly thick with sleep. Naruto's hand's eventually slowed to a stop, both of them content to simply lay together and spend the last few moments they had free in the morning together before Naruto was forced to go off to be the Hokage.
"My father asked for me to come down to see him today." Hinata said quietly, Naruto grumbling against her neck something along the lines of him asking if she needed him to go with her. "No, It's all right, I think he just wants us to talk and I can't just pull you away from your job for something so silly as me being nervous." Another mumble about her not being silly and he gave her a quick squeeze as if to hold her a bit closer and tighter to protect her from what he knew her father could do to her.
His warm hand began to travel once again, sneaking up under her shirt to rest on her hip and then slide over to press his calloused flesh gently against her flat stomach. "Are you going to tell him about the baby?" He asked, his voice beginning to clear, though it was still deliciously husky.
Hinata sighed as she struggled with the decision. They had known for over a month now and she had had to fight Naruto to keep him inside so that he wouldn't step out onto the roof and scream the fact out so that the whole world could know that he, Uzumaki Naruto, was going to be a father when they had first found out. But she just didn't want to tell anyone, not yet. Not until she was one hundred percent ready to say, "Yes, I'm going to be a mother." And though Naruto could barely contain the information and probably slightly resented the fact that she was making him wait, she knew he wouldn't push her.
"No. Not for another month or so. Though if he uses the bakugan he'll be able to see it from my chakra flow." His thumb began to lightly stroke her skin and Hinata shivered slightly from the warmth that his touch spread through her. They stayed like that for another minute until Naruto's alarm went off, shattering their tender morning and making the reality of life set in.
After one last quick squeeze Naruto untangled himself from his wife, rolling out of bed and walking into their bathroom, stretching his arms out above his head and yawning widely as he went. After allowing herself one more quick moment in the comfort of their bed Hinata got up as well, pulling on her robe as she walked into the kitchen.
She knew that, as usual, Naruto would only have time to grab something he could eat on his way to the Hokage tower since he used the time that was supposed to be for eating to spend time with her in bed in the mornings. So she quickly toasted two bagels and made quick egg sandwiches with them, putting on bacon, egg, cheese and fried ham. She wrapped one in a paper towel and was ready when Naruto walked in, his hair still damp and dark from his shower.
They shared a quick kiss as they said their good byes and Hinata slipped the wrapped breakfast sandwich in his pocket for him to eat later, Naruto grabbing the other one and stuffing his mouth with a huge bite as he started walking out, telling her around his mouthful that he loved her.
And then she was alone in their little apartment, leaning against the counter as she smiled at the thought of just how wonderfully right everything was at that moment.
Hinata looked up as the door slid open to reveal her father, and as she slid into a familiar bow all she could think about was how thin he had gotten in the weeks she hadn't seen him. "Father." She said respectfully as sat across from her, waiting until he had given her permission to rise before she did so, but even then she kept her eyes lowered, as was proper.
They sat like this in silence for a few moments before she heard him sigh heavily and tiredly, and when he spoke he sounded so undeniably weary that it made Hinata's eyes widen in surprise. "Hinata, look at me." Hinata hesitantly raised her eyes until they met with her father's, quietly questioning him over the strange change in the usual formalities.
"Hinata, what do you see when you look at me?" Hinata hesitated over her answer, sensing that he wanted a truthful answer instead of the usual platitudes that most people would have wanted as an answer to such a question. And so, knowing this, Hinata studied her father in a way she wouldn't have dared to before.
His hair was beginning to gray and there were lines in his face that hadn't been there before. His eyes didn't just look tired, they looked positively exhausted, as if they wanted to simply give up. His shoulders seemed to be sagging under an invisible and cumbersome weight and there were dark half-moons under his eyes. He looked pale and tired and far older than Hinata could ever remember him being.
"I see you, Father." Hinata answered quietly.
Hiashi nodded and looked off to the side, staring out the window and into the gardens thoughtfully.
"I am sick, Hinata, and though I thought I'd be able to get past it, it doesn't seem like it will be all that easy. I am told that all I can do right now is rest, and even though I have been assured that rest is the best tonic, I have no illusions to how this will end for me. And so I have decided to get the proper affairs in order."
Hinata didn't want to hear this, she didn't want to think about it or know this terrible truth. Even though they had never been close and though Hiashi had been downright cruel to her at times, he was still her father and she wanted nothing more than to cover her ears like a child and drown out the sound of the silent pain that her father's words carried.
But she didn't. She couldn't.
"First and foremost is choosing an heir so that I can step down and get the rest that my doctors are persistently insisting on. I know that with you being the elder and with Hinabi being trained for the position that the elder council will be torn over which of you to choose, and I know that it will come down to who will be easier to manipulate between the two of you." Hinata took a breath and waited for the crushing blow to come, and she supposed that she should be thankful that at least her father was taking the time to justify and explain his position.
"Which is why I have decided to choose you as my heir, Hinata."
Hinata blinked and then blinked again, tempted to look around for another Hinata that was hiding somewhere in the room.
"I-I'm sorry Father, but did you just say that I was the one that you chose?" Hiashi nodded and looked into the wide white eyes of his daughter.
"Hanabi, though I have trained her for the roll, is not a leader. She is young and follows the direction that is set out for her. She is too easily manipulated by people and without my influence the ones that will be leading your sister will be the council, and the direction that they will take her is not the direction that the clan needs. The clan needs to change and grow along with the times and that means that the leader needs to be someone who will be able to make these changes while going up against the council."
"I stand by what I said as you grew up, though perhaps I was a bit too harsh. You were timid and weak and you held traits that were not what I saw the clan needed for a future leader. But you have grown and you have gained confidence, and you have become a stronger and more dependable person. You may not have grown into the leader that I thought I wanted for the clan but I do believe that you have become a leader that the clan needs."
Hinata had to wonder if she looked as stunned as she felt. This, all of it, was what she had wanted since she was little. Acceptance, her father acknowledging her, the chance to be more, to be better, in the eyes of her family and clan. The chance to finally, finally, be seen as a strong and dependable person.
This was everything she had ever wanted, everything she had ever yearned for, and she was surprised at how little it actually mattered to her.
Bowing low, Hinata took a bracing breath and closed her eyes, surprising herself with the words that came out of her mouth.
"Thank you, Father, I am honored. But I must respectfully decline." The silence that filled the room as Hinata remained in her position was deafening, and Hinata could only keep her eyes closed and pray that her father would see that this was the right decision once she explained.
"Raise your head," Hinata carefully did as he bid and flinched back at the cold look in his eyes, "And explain yourself."
Hinata and Naruto stood together with Neji and Tenten as they waited for the ceremony formally initiating Hanabi as the newest head of the Hyuuga clan to begin. Neji, Hinata and Tenten were in traditional kimonos, though Tenten couldn't seem to stop fidgeting and complaining about hers and Naruto, of course, was wearing his Hokage robe over his.
Hinata jumped slightly as a member of the branch house cleared her throat gently behind her, amazed that the small girl had been able to sneak up on her so easily, though with the way the baby had been screwing with her sleeping by giving her morning sickness in the middle of the night she was surprised that she was able to do anything but fall on her face and sleep for a week at the moment.
"I apologize for interrupting you, Hinata-sama, but Hanabi-sama has asked for you to join her in her room before the ceremony starts." Hinata nodded her thanks to the girl and quickly dismissed herself from their small group, following her into the main house and through the halls to a room that Hinata probably should have been more familiar with.
Thanking her guide Hinata slipped into the room, surprised at just how dark it was. She could see the dim form of her sister standing in the middle of the room, seemingly just standing and staring at the wall.
"I said that I want to be alone." She coolly said, and Hinata sighed as she slid the door closed. They were sisters, there shouldn't be this gaping chasm between them that she had to breech just to be in the same room with her and start a conversation with her.
"They said you called for me, Hanabi. Is there something I can do to help?" The younger girl stiffened and then tilted her head towards Hinata's direction. But even though both of them could feel the words that strained between them they stayed silence, the tension quickly growing between them as their patience faded.
Taking a breath, Hinata decided to take the initiative. "Hanabi-"
"Why did you say no when Father offered you the position as head?" Hinata blinked at the girl, unsure of what to make of her information. After all, the meeting between her and her father had been completely private and he had told her that no one would hear about Hanabi actually being his second choice. Sensing her sister's confusion Hanabi decided to add to what she had said and answer the unasked question that now drifted between them.
"I was outside the door listening to you when you two were talking and I heard him offer to put you as heir. After I heard that I went back to my room and the next day Father called me into the same room you had been in and informed me that I was to be the next head."
Holding back a sigh Hinata stepped forward until she was standing behind Hanabi, finding that the girl was actually staring into the large mirror that resided over the elegant and monstrous vanity, watching her reflection with eyes that were far too distant for someone her age.
"There were a lot of reasons for why I did what I did." Hinata said quietly, jumping back slightly in surprise when Hanabi whipped around to start pacing back and forth, her eyes furiously burning with intensity and desperation.
"Then what were they?! This is what you have been waiting for for years, isn't it? For Father to notice you and admit that you're better than me? Why did you say no when you had everything, everything, right there in front of you offered up on a silver platter?" Hinata tracked the girl with her eyes, lacing her fingers together in front of her so that she wouldn't fall back on her nervous habit of playing with them. She would get through this without panicking or fidgeting and be the strength that her sister obviously needed during this desperate moment.
"Because it was the right thing to do." She said, keeping her voice quiet and calm even as Hanabi let out a terrifying shriek.
"WHY? Why do you think this with such a blind faith? Why is it that you are somehow able to blindly see something there," She shouted as she motioned towards the mirror to where she was still being reflected, "That neither Father nor I am able to see?" The girl stood there panting for a moment, her hair in wild disarray as it fell in front of her eyes like it usually did, her eyes wide and dilated, her elegant ceremonial kimono slightly wrinkled from her erratic and flustered moves.
"Because I can see past what that mirror is showing you." Hinata murmured, taking the girl and gently easing her down and onto the stool in front of the mirror, grabbing the thickly bristled brush from the top of the vanity and beginning to gently slide it through the younger girl's hair in long and soothing strokes.
"When I was little all I could think about was becoming better and surpassing my physical boundaries to catch up with you and be acknowledged by anyone really, as someone worthy of the Hyuuga name. I tried so desperately hard to be strong and I fought and fought time and time again only to keep falling, and somewhere along the line I just stopped. I didn't stop fighting to be more, I could never do that, not it I want my pride to remain intact, but I stopped falling. I stopped falling and I stood up as tall as possible and Father finally recognized me as someone worthy of being a true Hyuuga and carrying the weight of the clan on my shoulders." Hinata took a breath and smiled at her younger sister through their shared reflection.
"And I found myself almost completely uncaring." Hinata smiled gently at the shocked expression on the girl's face and sat the brush down, choosing a few of the hair pins that were laid out and beginning to twist Hanabi's hair up into something fitting of the occasion.
"I was honored, of course, and I was happy because it was the acceptance I had been waiting for for so long, but I knew to the very depths of my heart that I didn't want to accept to offer Father had given to me. There will be, of course, some "what if"s one day, but even then I will know that I have made the right choice. Hanabi," Hinata quietly waited for the other girl's white eyes to meet her's.
"The clan needs a strong leader, one who will be able to take on the challenges of this life and make the necessary changes. The clan needs a Hyuuga to lead them and I am not a Hyuuga, Hanabi. I am a Uzumaki."
Hinata picked up some of the hair ornaments and began to artfully finish the girl's hair, her hand's just as gentle as her voice as she tried to navigate her sister out of the suffocating prison of self-doubt she had locked herself in.
"You are young, far too young for what you are about to do, and I want you to understand that though you are young and though it may seem like it, you are not alone. I am here to help you, always, along with Neji Nii-san and Father. Naruto as well, and be rest assured that he is a very good leader and a formidable person when he wishes to be."
Hinata turned Hanabi so that they were facing each other, crouching down so they were able to look at each other easier. "You might not believe this now, you might not even believe this years and years from now when you are upon your deathbed, but Hanabi," Hinata gently brushed the strands of hair that stubbornly hung over the younger girl's eye and tucked them behind her ear, cupping her face and looking into her panicked and shocked eyes with a sureness that immediately calmed her. "You are what this clan needs. You will bring along the changes that this family is starving for and you will save them all from a hell of their own making."
"What if I can't?" She whispered, grabbing onto the hand that was cupping her cheek as if it were her final lifeline. "What if I'm not enough and what if I'll never be enough? What if I somehow make it so that these changes fall apart to ruin with me as the instigator, unwillingly ruining everything? What if I am not this savior that you seem to be depending on me being?"
Hinata gracefully stood up and slipped her hand from the other girl's hold, taking Hanabi's hand in both of hers and bringing them ever so achingly slowly to her abdomen. "I am not the only one who needs you as a savior." She said, her voice cracking.
Hanabi stared wide-eyed to where their joined hands rested, dragging her white gaze up until it met with Hinata's, the younger girl's eyes filled with an almost amazed and breathless wonder.
"Make this clan better, Hanabi. Form this clan into a family that I can proudly bring my child into, one where he will never be threatened by something as pitiful or terrifying as a caged bird seal or a branch family. Be the leader this clan and my baby needs." Hinata blinked her tears away, staring fiercely and determinedly into the eyes of the only hope she had for her child, the only hope she had for the tender and beautiful future that was slowly unfolding before her eyes.
"Please, please be the leader that I need."
Hanabi's hand slowly fisted over the delicate life that Hinata held within her, her head lowering so that her forehead rested above it, making a vow that they both knew she would die to carry out if she had to.
"I swear upon all that I am and all I will ever be that I will do everything in my power, Sister."
Closing her eyes against the overwhelming rush of emotions Hinata tried to breathe past the overwhelming relief that threatened to choke her.
"Thank you." She whispered thickly, "Thank you."
Hinata watched as Hanabi proudly made her way across the room to where the elder council members stood with their father, standing tall and never wavering as the ceremony dragged along. There were doubts that still lingered around the room about her age and about how capable she would be, but watching her as she held her head high with dignity and grace and with the aura of a leader, Hinata knew that her decision had been the right one.
And as the new head of the Hyuuga clan was finally instated the two sisters' eyes met and keeping that contact Hinata slowly bowed her head, thanking her once more and acknowledging her, letting her see that there were no regrets. Because Hinata knew that upon the fragile and yet unshakable base of Hanabi's shoulders a new Hyuuga clan would be built.
There were hints throughout the stories I've written thus far about Hinata not being the head when her father stepped down (her being a stay at home mom and such), but I felt like explainging the whole little story to you since you guys can't see into my head.
And yes, Hinata could have rocked being a mom and the head of the clan, but I just don't see it happening in my head. And yes, Hanabi is way too young (15), but younger and greater leaders have been put in great roles.
Catch you later my sweet darlings!