Thanks for the review, as I mentioned in the previous chapters they don't know much about Raven's past yet because she still hasn't told them (since this takes place before 'Birthmark').

This is one of the longest chapter's I've ever written. Raven just has so much depth to her that it's hard to sum it all up into a few words. Since most of the episodes about Raven's past revolve mostly around her father's side of the story, I decided to go more into depth about her mother's side of the story.

I did try to avoid mentioning the demonic role in her past since that is explained in Birthmark, Prophesy, and The End (1, 2, and 3) and because I figured it would make more sense that she would still be secretive about that part of her history. Other than that I tried to stick to the canon history as best as I could and fill in the blanks in a few other areas. It seem be a little sappy around the end, but overall I like how it turned out because it was the best way I could think of to describes Raven and Robin's friendship.

This is also my last post/update/ story completion of 2014, I tried to make it a goal to finish at least one of my ongoing stories before the new year (so far 5/9 are complete).

ETA: sorry there was a computer glitch and it wouldn't show the last chapter, hopefully it's fixed now.

Disclaimer: Raise your hand if you think I own Teen Titans, DC comics, and/or Warner Brothers *No one raises their hand* Yep, didn't think so.

Anyway: Read, review, and enjoy. Happy New Years.

Chapter 3:

As the hours wore on, Raven started to feel sick. She reflected on her past, she meditated to concentrate on what she wanted to say, and at one point she even managed to consult each of her personalities for guidance and insight on what she was feeling and how to express herself. But all of this took a lot of energy and Raven's energy was already being drained by having to control her powers and trying to block out the toxic hostility that was spreading through the tower from her teammates.

It took Raven a good while before she felt well enough to even attempt to meet with her inner selves. The emotional pain of the others had starting to turn into physical pain for her. The empath felt a sharp pain in her stomach; she knew it wasn't from the chips because it was only a small fun-size bag that barely satisfied her appetite.

Apparently, what she thought was hunger was the beginning of a cluster of stomach aches caused by her roommates' emotions. Though at the time they were a lot more relaxed, the temporary happiness only covered up the pain they were feeling, but didn't stop it completely. It was only during brief periods of relief when the negativity wasn't as strong, probably during happy memories as opposed to depressed stewing, was when she was able to concentrate enough to finish her objectives.

Raven knew that if she didn't try to resolve this soon that eventually the pain would get worse, and possibly even dangerous. At times when one roommate was depressed, the empath had been known to experience mild stomach ulcers. But, with all 4 of her teammates upset with her all at once, there was no telling how ill she could get if this went on for a while.

'It's not like they would care if I was bleeding internally anyway, right now.' Raven bitterly thought to herself as she placed a hand over her stomach where the pain was getting sharper and tried to calmly breathe it out to stifle any verbal expression of pain.

Raven's curtains had been closed to help her concentrate; she didn't even realize that the sun was setting. The whole team had wasted a perfectly good day without any missions sulking in their rooms. When the empath felt another period of temporary calm through the tower walls, she decided to act before the pain returned. Raven took a few quick deep breaths to relax before executing her plan.

She walked up to the door and slowly knocked twice before she felt an added jab of dull pain. It was the feeling of slight annoyance coming from the person on the other side of the door. At this point, a trivial emotion such as annoyance was almost a blessing. She took a deep breath and knocked in a similar pattern as before.

"What?" An irritated voice said with a sigh, he was right on the other side of the door still deciding whether or not to open it.

"We need to talk." Raven calmly stated in her classic monotone voice. "Alone. Now."

The door opened with Raven's leader showing a blank, emotionless face as he walked past her and calmly, but swiftly, walked towards upstairs to head for the roof as Raven silently followed a few paces behind. Robin knew Raven wouldn't let him in her room and he didn't want Raven to see the mess of old family pictures and newspaper articles that were currently scattered across his bedroom floor. He figured the fresh air would do them both some good anyway.

Raven felt a slight rush of adrenaline, which did help to slightly numb the stomach pain a bit. Most of it was Robin's, which meant she knew he had probably been contemplating on what to say to her and was probably going to tell her off. But some of the adrenaline she was able to identify as her own. She was nervous about what she was going to say and how he was going to take it. She wanted to make sure the words came out right but that also depended on Robin's reaction and her being able to control her powers.

They both reached the rooftop without saying a word to each other. Robin walked over to his favorite spot on the roof to look at the setting sun and Raven tried to regroup her thoughts one last time as she stared aimlessly into the city.

"What did you want to tell me?" Robin finally asked, breaking the ice.

"First, it's important that you keep an open mind the whole time." Raven demanded. "I need you to stay calm and hear me out. I need you to hold all judgments aside until I'm done speaking. Can you do that for me?"

"I'll try." Robin reluctantly promised, with his arms crossed in a defensive stance.

"Alright." Raven sighed, she figured that was the best she could get for now. "First of all, I'm sorry."

"For…?" The Boy Wonder fished trying to get what he saw as a proper apology.

"For hurting you and the others." The empath clarified.

"And…?" Robin implied.

"And what?" The sorceress asked.

"Aren't you going to apologize for what you said?" He implied.

"No." She stated firmly.

"'No'?" Robin repeated in disbelief.

"I won't lie to you: I'm sorry for how it came out and I'm sorry that it hurt everyone's feelings." Raven admitted. "But I meant what I said."

"Wow, just when I thought you couldn't get anymore-." Robin started to say before he was interrupted.

"Robin, you said you'd hear me out and wouldn't judge until I've said what I need to say." The empath reminded her leader.

"I said that I'd try." The Boy Wonder reminded her.

"Well, try harder." Raven countered, trying to control her own frustration.

"You have two minutes." The leader commanded, as if trying to put a timer on his internal emotional shield.

"I'll take as much time as I need." The sorceress asserted herself.

This actually surprised Robin, while Raven didn't have trouble talking back to others (mostly Beast Boy and villains) she usually tried to avoid unnecessary conflict by agreeing as long as there was no present danger, much less an order from her leader. Raven continued when the surprised look on Robin's face melted into a flat emotionless expression.

"As I was saying: I know you and the other's have lost your families and I know that you're all in pain, but you all don't realized how lucky you all truly are in some aspects." She proclaimed.

Robin raised a finger as if to signal her to stop so he could respond to argue, but Raven cut him off.

"I'm not saying your families were terrible people and I'm not saying that any of them deserved to die or that any of you deserve to be without them." Raven commented, as if knowing all the possible ways Robin could interpret it. "I'm saying you're all lucky because they didn't have a choice in leaving you."

Robin relaxed his demeanor a bit. He kept his eyes straight ahead as the city lights started to light up, but nodded to signal the empath to continue.

"How much about me do you all know?" Raven said, not sure where to start.

"We all know you have powers and that if you get too angry they can get a little haywire. Starfire said that you told her you're from a place called Azarath and that you spent years learning meditation from monks to help you control your anger to help with your powers." Robin reiterated his knowledge of Raven's life.

"That was all that I told her about my past." Raven explained. "I just needed her to understand why meditation was important for me and I figured she wasn't ready for the other details."

"What 'other details'?" Robin inquired.

Raven deeply inhaled. She decided hours ago that she wasn't going to lie but that she would only tell Robin what he needed to know for now and to spare the darker information. After all, who knew if the prophesy that had been looming over her head since birth would even come true.

"When my mother was young, she was lost and confused about who she was and what she wanted out of life." The empath began. "She fell in with a bad crowd and wound up joining a cult. Shortly thereafter, she was arranged to be married to someone who was pretty much the head of the cult, the supposed deity they worshiped. Anyway, soon after they married, my mother found out my father wasn't the man she thought she was marrying and he wound up… forcing himself on her; which is how I came to be."

Robin stood there quietly letting everything sink in. This was the most Raven had ever talked about her past to anyone. Raven felt a slight twinge of concern from Robin. After a few second of silence to gather her thoughts, she continued.

"When my mother realized she was carrying his child, she couldn't bear the thought of living another day being bonded to him in a union as holy as marriage; much less being bonded to him for life by sharing a child together. She figured her and I both would be better off not existing at all, than living in a world where he could and most likely would hurt us."

Robin felt a chill down his spine, understanding where Raven was going with this and couldn't help but ask.

"Your mother… Did she…Is she… ?" Robin attempted to inquire as politely as possible.

"No, she tried to end it all, but someone found her in time and she was saved." Raven explained. "I was born not too long after but my mother gave me up to have me raised by a high priestess, Azar. I guess my mother knew in her heart she couldn't possibly care for the child of that monster.

My father was a very well-known, powerful man. The cult that worshiped him practiced dark magic and I inherited the power, and the darkness, from him. Even as a small child my powers were strong and dangerous. Every tantrum I had as a child led to trouble: from my blood curdling screams that caused a monk's eardrums to erupt, and for him to become completely deaf, to my built up frustration over trivial things that resulted in several buildings to collapse over the years. Even giggles of pure happiness had been known to lead to multiple power surges within a 5 mile radius.

So the high priestess set up a strict regimen to help me control the darkness and the power. I was placed on a special diet, avoiding anything too sugary to limit highs and crashes that would affect my mood and avoiding anything too fattening or greasy to prevent brain fog so I can concentrate. The only real stimulant I was allowed was what little caffeine was in my tea, just enough to help me stay alert during long periods of concentration.

But the only way they could really teach me control at such a young age was to also teach me how to avoid feeling anything at all, since the emotions of children were too unpredictable. I was taught that anytime I think I might feel any emotion to just meditate, think about something else until I couldn't feel it anymore. And it worked, eventually. I became emotionally numb, I couldn't feel anything. I was indifferent about everything to the point where I didn't even remember what it felt like to love or to hate. I didn't have any strong opinions one way or another about anything at that time.

Then I noticed that every time I was in a close distance to someone, their emotions started to affect me. There were times when it was too much and the chaos would start up again. Eventually, I just locked myself in my room and avoided leaving unless it was absolutely necessary. I was conflicted because I started to remember what it felt like to feel again: to remember joy and disappointment, anxiety and excitement, to remember what it felt like to actually have hopes and dreams. I started to realize how empty my life was becoming from having to shut out everything all the time.

When Azar died, a part of me wanted to mourn, but I knew I couldn't. Everyone else was grieving and the last thing they needed was for me to cause a natural disaster. So I meditated nonstop to avoid feeling anything, but somehow everyone's emotions reached out to me and haunted me. I felt suffocated; I couldn't sleep for days, until most of the grieving dissolved. I even lost weight from throwing up so much."

"Throwing up?" Robin, who had been intently listening to the story, interrupted.

"Emotional distress can cause stomach issues, even in normal people." Raven informed her leader, knowing she was far from what most people would consider 'normal'. "But prolonged exposure to strong negative emotions of those around me literally makes me sick."

Robin instantly felt guilt run through him, wondering how difficult it must have been for her after all the extreme emotions he and their friends had felt today.

"It's okay, you didn't know." Raven said in response to Robin's silent remorse. "But feeling guilty doesn't help matters."

"Oh, right. Sorry." Robin apologized.

"So anyway, shortly after Azar's death, I guess my mother decided to at least attempt to be a part of my life; after pretty much abandoning me for 10 years." Raven paused to take a deep breath to fight back the bitterness that she recognized in her tone before she continued. "But no matter how hard she tried to make amends and no matter how much I tried to be good, I knew that every time she saw me that she saw him, too. She couldn't just see me as her daughter, she saw me as his spawn. I tried my best to prove that I wasn't my father's daughter; to prove that I wasn't a… bad person."

Raven stopped herself in time to prevent herself from saying the word she detested, the only word that could describe her kind.

"Anyway, we both knew that as long as I was alive that my father would one day come back for me. Not because he cared about me, but because he wanted to use me. To groom me to become his… apprentice, if you will." Raven mentioned, knowing that Robin of all people would understand what she meant, after everything he had been through with Slade. "But I never wanted to do his bidding. I never wanted to be like him: hurting people, making them suffer by abuse my power.

I wanted to be more than that. I wanted to prevent suffering. I guess in a way, a part of me wanted to undo all the pain he's caused over the years. So I left Azarath around my 14th birthday to look for help, but even the Justice League wouldn't help me."

Robin felt a jolt of anger building up. His former mentor was a member of the Justice League that promised to help and protect those in need, but apparently refused to help Raven when she asked.

"They had their reasons, and while I was crushed, I understood." Raven responded to calm Robin's boiling thoughts. "In some ways, I'm glad they didn't help me; because if they had, I probably wouldn't have ran into you and the others. And I probably also would've never realized my true potential." Raven said with what almost looked like a faint, sincere smile on her face. "Sorry, I guess I kind of got carried away and started rambling on a bit.

But my point is: I said you were all lucky because everyone you all have ever loved did care about you and if they had a choice they would never leave you. Everyone in my life has deliberately abandoned me or only acknowledges me when they need to use me.

You guys are lucky because you all have had family that genuinely and unconditionally loved you. And that's something I will never get to experience first-hand."

Raven felt her own grief building up within her, causing a heavy feeling in her chest that she feared might have been the start of a panic attack. The empath focused her eyes on the waves in the bay below to calm herself. She couldn't really read what Robin was feeling at the moment, he kept his natural stoic features on the city ahead, still letting everything Raven had told him sink in. There was a moment of silence before he responded.

"I'm sorry to tell you this: But, you're wrong, Raven." The leader proclaimed.

Raven felt the panic in her start to escalate, along with an additional slice of rage. She had just basically poured her heart out by telling him things she's never told anyone else, while sparing him the darker details, and he still couldn't show her thoughts any form of consideration?

Raven felt the surface beneath her legs start to quake before she inhaled deeply.

"I should have that known no one would understand." Raven said as she turned around to head back inside.

Robin grabbed her wrist, which caused Raven to freeze in her place to avoid pushing her leader off the rooftop.

"Wait!" The leader shouted in a panic. "I didn't mean your feelings are wrong. I meant that you're wrong about your family not loving you."

"You've never met my family, Robin." Raven replied somberly. "I don't remember the last time my mother told me she loved me, if she ever did at all, and I don't think my father is even capable of love."

"I didn't mean them." Robin stated. "Just because you're related to them doesn't mean they're your family; just like just because we aren't related to you doesn't mean we're not your family."

Raven felt a a rush of peace come over her from hearing Robin say that, but it was short lived.

"Thanks, Robin, but I doubt the rest of the team thinks of me that way." The empath countered.

"I know they do." Robin said. "You may not notice, but Beast Boy goes out of his way to try to make you laugh, even if it's at his own expense. If it weren't for the fact that you could and probably like to do it yourself, Cyborg would gladly beat up anyone who hurt you in anyway. Starfire looks up to you and she even told me once that she thinks of you as the sister she never had."

"Starfire has a sister." Raven contradicted.

"Well, Blackfire's the sister she did have." Robin backtracked a bit, Starfire didn't really understand that expression too well. "After all Blackfire's done to her, I'm sure Star would much rather have you as a sister."

"And what about you?" Raven inquired.

"Well…." The Boy Wonder had always been taught to be reserved about these kinds of things; his mentor had always taught him to never put himself out there emotionally. "You inspire me."

"What?" The empath asked in disbelief.

"You inspire me to think outside of the box, from a logical standpoint." The leader elaborated. "When I was training with Batman he always looked at things from a logical point of view. He mostly saw things as black and white with very little leeway, which is why he's had trouble keeping a stable relationship. That's off the record, by the way."

"Of course." Raven hid a quick smirked, thinking about what she had read in the tabloids about Robin's former mentor's alter ego. "So you're saying I inspire you because I'm not logical?" She couldn't help but feel a bit of a sting from that.

"The exact opposite, actually." The Boy Wonder corrected. "You're one of the smartest people I know, if not the smartest. You're insightful and wise beyond your years, but you've never let logic get in the way when it comes to more complex circumstances that even logic can't explain or fix. And, to me, that's the definition of true wisdom."

Raven felt something she's never truly felt in her life, she couldn't quite put a name to it. But for some reason, she temporarily lost control and found herself hugging her leader.

"Thank you, Robin." She whispered softly.

"No problem." He said reciprocating the hug. "And don't worry; I'll call a team meeting and straighten out this whole thing out with the others."

"You're going to tell them everything?" Raven inquired, feeling another streak of panic as she pulled away from her leader's embrace.

"I'll just tell them it was a misunderstanding, but I won't tell them anything you don't want me to tell them." The Boy Wonder assured her.

"Thanks." Raven sighed in relief, they both started to head for the stairway; Raven cleared her throat right before they reached the door. "Robin…?"

"Yeah?" Robin asked.

"Could you also not tell them about the hug?" Raven requested. "The last thing I want is for Beast Boy to try to get me to hug him."

"That will also be our little secret." Robin promised, as they both entered the building.

The End