A/N: Since this is a gift to my trio, I've put in references of things we have discussed in the year of our friendship. Also, letter writing is so fun. I'll probably definitely keep doing that.

June, 1976.

My dear Moony,

Not to worry you. But already with the Potters. As Prongs has pointed out, they have missed their other son, and being the polite and charming young man you have raised me to be, I could not, in good consciousness, deny their request to spend the summer with them. I assure you I am fine and staying out of trouble. Hurry the hell up and leave France.

Padfoot.

To one Mr. Padfoot,

Have you been reading Pride and Prejudice again? France is lovely. Wish you were here. I'm sure you could always get to know the locals. And the food is nice. Sorry that I am not there to join in on you lot being the civilised men you are. I feel like Peter Pan, head of the lost boys, only, I chose to grow up. Can I be a male version of Wendy in this little tale? James is definitely Peter, but I don't want to snog James. So, I guess I'll have to sadly decline joining your marauding about. Also, that letter had hardly any fragments. I'm proud of you. Do try to keep your head up, Padfoot. I'll be home in July and we'll be back at Hogwarts before you can say quidditch.

Moony.

I HAVE NOT BEEN READING PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AGAIN, AND EVEN IF I WAS, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO COMMENT ON IT. MAYBE I FANCY ELIZABETH BENNET, BUT LET'S BE HONEST, WHO DOESN'T. OR MAYBE IT'S DARCY, DID YOU EVER STOP TO THINK ABOUT THAT? CAN YOU HEAR ME FROM FRANCE? Also, I think that I cannot, in good faith, make it through a letter without swearing, or you'll think I've gone mad. So, fuck you and your assumptions. Really though, you always go on and on about me using proper sentances (that word is spelled wrong just so you will have an aneurism) so I thought that I would TRY to be more proper. But now my love for Regency novels is being called into question. Dear Moony, please don't have an aneurism. None of the other boys love me like you do. Although I do think if I were ever to propose to you, mother would have a fit and I'll probably be disowned. I don't know why I'm proposing to you, but I'm sure I would quote Darcy and tell you how much I admire you and then insult you and we can have a row, but I'll have chocolate cake. It will be lovely.

Padfoot. This letter did not have a title because I wanted to start swearing at you and was in too much of a hurry to put one. I don't like letter writing conventions.

Padfoot,

What on earth did that poor quill ever do to you to deserve such harsh treatment? I can't make it through a letter without mentioning grammar, or quills apparently. When is the wedding? Are you going to make an honest man out of me? Oh, there is hope for me yet! You had me at chocolate cake, but here is a secret. I prefer vanilla. YES I CAN HEAR YOU FROM FRANCE, GIT. Or strawberry. Can we have strawberry? Can dogs even have chocolate? There are so many questions I feel that will never be answered. Are you feeling better?

Moony.

My dear future husband,

Of course I will make an honest man out of you. I am not Mr. Wickham. I don't need to be chased down the street with a broom or a stick, either. Those things fucking hurt! And yes, I can have chocolate, but I will shit on the carpet and your father won't love me anymore. Not a nice image for a sixteen year old boy shitting on such fine carpets. I do like strawberry also. It's settled, we will have strawberry cake and we can dance to that Sintara guy you like so damn much. But we have to wait a few years, because James and I are banned from Scotland at the moment. Yes, I'm grand. Something about rollercoasters. Rollercoasters are fun, my dear Moony. Moony, Moony, Moony. Thou art a summer day. Do you like Shakespeare? Am I wooing you?

Padfoot, the best you never had.

Padfoot, love of my life, light of my life, bane of my existence,

HOW THE HELL DID YOU AND PRONGS GET BANNED FROM AN ENTIRE COUNTRY?! And what about school? Never mind, I do not want to know. Do not shit on my father's carpet. And it's Sinatra, and he is wonderful. You like fine novels, and I like fine music. I wonder how I ever got you to read Pride and Prejudice, but I somehow knew that you would love Austen if I could just get you to sit still long enough. And people think you are unintelligent. How many times have you been beaten off with a stick, Padfoot? Do seek help.

Moony. P.S. Are you sure about that?

My dear suitor,

All I can say is that's how we got the motorbike and one too many bar fights. That does seem to be a theme in my life. Also, I know that Hogwarts is in Scotland, but I don't have to deal with the muggles when I am there. The MUGGLES HAVE THE PROBLEM NOT FUCKING ME. I just realised how awful that sentence sounded. No wonder you are cross sometimes. And yes, Austen, she is lovely. But my true love is Tolstoy. Also, Catcher in the Rye was pretty good, but sometimes I want to punch Holden Caulfied for whining so damn much. And I guess I can do a lot of things if you are sitting on me so I can't DO ANYTHING ELSE. Tell your father I say hullo.

Padfoot, who is the bane of your existence but I make up for it by going down on you… If anyone finds these letters we are in trouble… HINT: I AM A COURT JESTURE AND MOONY JUST PUTS UP WITH MY SHIT.

My dear court jester,

I would be lost without you. Even if you only make it up to me by going down on me and you cannot fucking spell. Also, I'm positive that it should be whom is the bane of your existence. Sorry, but how can you talk so carelessly? Even on paper. Merlin, I hope no one ever finds these. How have you been writing these without James finding them? You are a man of many secrets. And yes, Holden Caulfield. I feel like you two have some things in common, but you are far less whiny, and you haven't paid a prostitute to talk to you, that I know of. Again, you are a mystery man, so I cannot be too sure. But all jokes about you and the prostitute aside, I worry that you and I will never be together because the world will keep us apart. Oh, it pains me that there is an entire English channel between us.

Moony, waiting in France.

The last one had no address, but only said this:

Please, for the love of Merlin, come back.

He put the letter back in his pocket and sighed. "I need to go back to London." He and his father were eating breakfast when the letter arrived.

He raised an eyebrow. "You and Sirius have been writing to each other non-stop for a fortnight now. Is everything okay?"

"Sirius has the summertime sadness again."

"Oh. Well, doesn't he always pull through?"

"Yes, but, I'm worried, and I usually help James and Peter deal with it."

"You can't wait a few more days?"

"They help me."

He didn't have to say another word. His father nodded, and tried to hide the sadness from his face, but Remus noticed it. "How are you going to make it back to London?"

"Well, he's with the Potters now, but I'll probably just floo home."

"Tell me when you make it."