Hello my pretties! Guess what time it is?
Why yes, it is time for a new chapter!
This one is a continuation of my chapter Raining Cats and Dogs, and I felt that it was finally time for me to introduce you to Jiro's cat summon (don't ask about the name of the chapter, I was desperate).
"...So you just put yourself down here on the contract and then go through the proper hand seals -boar, dog, bird, monkey and then ram- and then hopefully we'll get ourselves a cat." The kunoichi told the young pink haired boy, pushing long dark purple hair behind her ear.
"A few things to keep in mind though is that you don't know who you're getting, and it's unusual for you to get a cat summon that doesn't stick around and switches with another though it does happen, but if you get one that does stick try not to piss it off."
"Because it will leave?"
"No, because it never will and they're vindictive little bastards that will torture you mercilessly. They are sadistic and evil-minded and are the most manipulative creatures you will ever come across. They are greedy, demanding, unreasonable and pretentious and if you tell them that I said anything but nice things about them I'll tell them that you are a dog person and will gladly stand back and just watch them murder you." She warned, shoving one of her long nailed fingers under his nose and glaring at him until he nodded.
Taking a breath Jiro cut his thumb on one of his kunai and then signed the large scroll, marking it with his finger prints and carefully making the hand seals, taking a breath before he slapped his hand to the ground and released the needed chakra to try and calm himself.
He had spent weeks tracking down the only person in the village who had a cat summon, the elusive kunoichi figuring that it would be fun to mess with the little pink haired boy before getting around to seeing what he wanted. When he had finally cornered her to ask her to be on the contract it had been in a lingerie shop and he had been so embarrassed that his face had been the same hue as his hair, but the woman had said that she admired his ambition and his will to do what needed to be done, so she had moved past her misgivings about his age and had agreed.
And with a slight puff of smoke Jiro finally had a summon.
The cat wasn't very big but it was older than a kitten and was a slick furred black that on close inspection showed even darker markings. Piercing gold eyes studied him for the barest moment, giving him a quick once over, before narrowing its eyes at him.
"Good lord, your hair is pink."
Jiro blinked and looked at the woman for guidance, only to see her rolling up her scroll and turning away as if he wasn't event there. Turning back to the cat Jiro cleared his throat and decided to try his best not to stick his foot into his mouth.
"Yes it is." He said, waiting for the cat to make the next move.
"Hn." He said derisively, starting to walk in a circle around the boy, watching his every movement judgmentally and sceptically. "How old are you?"
"Twelve."
"Is the hair natural?"
"Yes. I got it from my mother."
"How terrible. You smell like the underside of a dog. Why?"
"My father and sister summon dogs, so I'm around them a lot." This forced the cat to stop momentarily and send him a critical look.
"Well, I suppose there's something to be said for the child that can escape from the cycle of oppression and lower intelligence, and one must not push the sins of the father onto the son." He said condescendingly, starting on his path once again.
"You are a boy, correct?"
"Yes."
"I thought so, but let's just hope that that clears up after puberty." Jiro blinked in shock and looked down at himself, trying to find what needed to be cleared up.
"What?" Jiro asked, not sure how insulted he should be, "What needs clearing up?"
"Let's not worry about that just yet. Now what are your living conditions?"
"Um..." Jiro had to wonder if everyone went through this with a new summon, because he certainly didn't think they did. "I live with my parents in an apartment-"
"How many bedrooms?" The cat interrupted, further puzzling and flustering the boy.
"Three, but my sisters old room is mainly used for storage and the dogs."
"How many dogs?"
"My dad has eight and my sister has one right now."
"How terrible. And are they allowed to roam free like heathens?"
"Well, after I told them about getting a cat summon my mother barred them from coming into my room once I got you."
"Smart woman." Settling down in front of Jiro the cat regarded him with judging eyes for a moment before he spoke again.
"Though there are more setbacks than countable in furthering a relationship with you I suppose that it will only be charitable to stay, though I do have some rules that you must heed. One is that I will not play with you just because you say so in some absurdly stupid voice. I am not a fool and I am not a dog. The next is that I will not eat packaged and prepossessed food with all those ridiculous additives and disgusting crunchy bits. Canned tuna is acceptable, but if you wish to impress me I suggest you try for the real thing. And lastly I will not play nice with anyone unless I wish to, let alone dogs. I am not here to sing songs with them and pretend that life is anything less than bearable. I will not hate anyone automatically, but I will instantly judge them as idiots unless they can prove otherwise to me. Now tell me your name, boy, so we can get on with our lives."
"Ah... Jiro."
The cat sighed as if finding something wrong with even his name. "And mine is Dango. Now take me to your house." The cat ordered, waiting until the boy had turned and walked away before calling out to him.
"What? Do you think I'm just going to follow you like a worthless heel-licker? Carry me."
Jiro sighed wearily, his shoulders slumping as he turned back and lifted the cat up, starting on his way home and already able to see so many ways everything could go terribly wrong.
When they got home it was luckily to find that no one was there, so it gave plenty of time for Dango to wander around and get used to everything before they got back, and once that happened they migrated to Jiro's room where Dango took over Jiro's bed and promptly lay down for a nap until they were called for dinner.
Jiro felt like maybe he should say something to the summon about playing nice, but then he remembered the little lecture and rules from earlier and decided to just not say anything and pray that the gods would show mercy.
Walking into the dining room the pair -or the animal half of it- was met with glares from the pack of dogs huddled at one end of the room and was blatantly ignored by the masked man who buried himself into his book. The window slid open and a white head popped in with a happy greeting on her lips that quickly died when the tension in the room hit her.
No one really knew what to do as the cat leisurely made its way across the room, golden eyes landing on the old pug -obviously the leader- and inclining its head in a type of acknowledgment.
"Dog."
"Cat."
There was a beat of silence before a rustling came from Karin's pocket and a familiar ball of fluff and energy leaped out of her pocket and to the ground, jumping angrily as she yipped.
"No no no! Kitty get away from Pachi! Evil kitty is evil and bad and has to stay away from Pochiri's Pachi! If not Pochiri will-"
"No." Dango said simply and sternly, interrupting the high pitched tirade and making her stop her annoying bouncing and what she thought to be threatening growls.
"Bu-"
"No."
Wilting a bit the tiny dog turned away, the other ninken looking on in shock.
"...How'd you do that?" Pakkun finally asked, and the cat did something like a disinterested shrug.
"It's a gift, I suppose."
And as a bit of the tension left the room Jiro slumped down gratefully into his seat, hoping that it was a sign that everything would eventually work out.
Just a tiny little thing to let you know him.
I am not an animal person, mostly because I don't like things that are constantly going through my legs and trying to trip me (I do not need help with this), but my mother likes cats so we currently have a Russian blue that they named -wait for it- Bleu.
And he is a complete idiot. He runs into doors, falls off of chairs, and is lactose intolerant. But our old cat was a complete ass that would jump on you if you were in his spot, would swat your head if you sat to close to him and would wake you up in the middle of the night because the only place he could go to sleep would obviously be on your stomach.
He was a good cat. He didn't try to trip me.
I roughly based Dango off of Buddy (old cat. yeah, my parents and brothers are real inventive), and I plan to write a bit more about him later, especially after he meets Jiro's lady (hehehe.)
Jiro and Dango get pretty close, probably because Jiro just goes along with it most of the time when Dango bosses him around.
Oh, and I didn't make that connection, Hektols. That's actually pretty funny (about the only person who didn't try to seduce the Hokage being a trained seductress)
My sweet baby Ninquelot is back (hello my darling! I have missed you terribly), and I'm glad you all seem to feel that I did alright by Kiba with his presentation of his character and with Eri.
Oh! I'll be bringing you a present soon, and if you feel like there are any loose ends on any of my chapters or with any of the chapters please tell me (this has nothing to do with the present. Nope. Doo-doo-dee-doo.)
I'll see you soon, and I'll be bearing presents for all you beautiful people!