At 9AM, Sirius flew out of bed and reached the record player the Potter's had kept in Sirius's room. This had formally been known as the guest bedroom, but everyone referred to it as Sirius's room. They had even let him decorate it after third year. Sirius threw on the Beatle's Let It Be album and played Across the Universe for hours on end, only stopping at 11, when Mrs. Potter insisted that he come downstairs for breakfast.

Sirius reached for the coffee and then pulled a flask out of the right pocket of his leather jacket that he insisted on wearing everywhere, no matter how hot it was outside. This had started several arguments at 12 Grimauld Place, but the Potters did not care. Sirius put a shot of firewhiskey into his coffee before Mr. Potter whisked the coffee and his flask out of his hand.

Sirius flinched, waiting for the blow he was certain would happen. None came. "I don't know how you drink coffee at home, but here, we don't drink this early." That was it. No fights. No broken bones. Just a small comment. Sirius felt ashamed, and wanted to apologise, but the words were stuck in his throat. He ate his toast and bacon in relative silence, watching James and his parents joke about things.

Even though they accepted him, and even though he was like a son, he wished that he was a Potter. He knew he was, but he wished that he had been James's blood brother. When they were in their second year, they took a needle and cut the pointer finger on their left hands and then stuck their hands together.

Peter and Remus were on the way over. Sirius went back upstairs to the Beatles and laid on his bed, the covers a heap on the floor.

"You could pick this up, you know," his favourite werewolf teased.

"MOONY!" Sirius jumped off the bed and suddenly a little shy, shook his hand.

"It's good to see you, Padfoot."

"How was France?"

"Fine. What kind of mischief are we managing today?"

"I'm not sure yet." James was sitting in the middle of Sirius's bed, his back leaned against the wall throwing a quaffle into the air and then catching it. "We're still waiting on Wormtail." He did not look at anyone, but watched the quaffle. He had not noticed Sirius's sudden fit of shyness, but Remus had.

Remus did not comment on it, but tried to change the subject. "We could go to the pub."

"Are you suggesting we get drunk?" Sirius brightened at the idea. "Prongs, we've corrupted him. It's only taken four years, but we've done it."

"I am all for reasonable fun."

"Alcohol with Sirius involved is never reasonable fun." James looked away from the quaffle long enough for it to whack him in the face.

"There's a carnival in town." Peter walked in.

"That would be fun, don't you think?" Remus asked Sirius.

"If I can get drunk, sure."

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" Sirius nodded, and Remus lead Sirius into James's room. "What the fuck is going on with you?"

"What ever do you mean?" Sirius raised a hand to his chest, faking indignation.

"Whatever this is, I don't like it. It's one thing being sad. It's another thing pissing your life away."

Sirius, whom had been grinning his famous mischievous grin, no longer smiled. Remus noticed that this smile did not reach his eyes. "Do you honestly think that is what I am doing?"

"It looks that way to me, and James, and Peter, from what little he has apparently seen. I came home early because you asked me to. I'm sure the Potters have noticed, too. Honestly, so drunk when James came to get you that you didn't even have your trunk with you?"

"You know about that?"

"I'm not fucking stupid. I can see right through you, Sirius."

"I'm not pissing my life away."

"Prove it, then." Remus turned and left, walked back into Sirius's room, turned off Across the Universe, and was ready to walk out of the house and go back to France, when Sirius met him in the doorway.

"The carnival sounds lovely. Let's go."

The tension between Remus and Sirius was palpable. Sirius walked ahead of Remus and James with Peter. Peter, never quite good in an awkward situation, did not know what to say, and so stared at his shoes as they walked towards the admissions gate.

"Well, I couldn't just say nothing." Sirius overheard Remus whisper to James. "This is getting ridiculous and I don't want to watch anymore."

"You must have said something to get to him though," James whispered back. "Honestly, sometimes I can't even get through to him."

"And you honestly think I can?"

Sirius turned around and gave James that look, which due to Sirius's piercing grey eyes, was not a very comfortable look, and one James, and everyone, wanted to avoid. James said nothing else about it. Sirius handed the attendant his ticket and did not bother to wait for James and Remus, but grabbed Peter by the arm and shoved him forward.

"What do we want to do first, boys?" James tried to smooth things over.

"I like rollercoasters." Sirius looked for the biggest one he could find.

"Let's go, then."

"Umm, heights." Peter raised a finger.

"Oh, right. You can just take pictures of it then?" Sirius offered.

"Right. Well we'll meet you at the exit, Pete." Sirius had walked ahead.

"I hate when he's like this." Peter whispered.

"So does everyone." James whispered back, and then ran to catch up to Remus and Sirius.

Sirius wanted to keep riding the Coaster of Doom, as Peter had called it, until he threw up. After eight rides, James had enough, and sat underneath a tree Peter had staked out, when he saw Lily Evans. He waved, noticed that she was with her family, and then turned away again.

"What did you tell Remus?" Peter asked.

"What he needed to know."

"You're his best mate, though."

"Yeah, well even I, best mate, cannot reign in Sirius when he is being a prat. It's not often, but Remus can. I told him what he needed to know. I wouldn't get too involved or Sirius will stop being nice to you and start being a regular Black."

Peter had opened his mouth to say something, but shut it again.

"I'm going to get some butterbeer."

"We're in the muggle world. It's just beer. They'll laugh at you if you try to order that."

"Right. And it's not as good, either." He stood up.

"You're just not used to it." Lily, who was standing with her father, waiting in line for ice cream nearby, eyed him.

"Is this one of your friends?" Mr. Evans asked her.

"Sort of, Dad, this is James." James had already figured it was safe and stood next to her.

Mr. Evans reached out his hand. Lily rolled her eyes and grabbed the mint chocolate chip ice cream for her and her father.

James did not have much experience with muggle money. Remus, being a half-blood, had tried to always order for them if they ever found themselves in the muggle world. He fumbled with his chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and tried to manage the money, but had no idea how. He stared at the woman, and was about to ask for the third time how much it was, when Lily took the money from him and handed it to her.

"Sorry, he goes to St. Brutus." She steered him away.

"What's St. Brutus?"

"A place you never want to go," she took her hand off his shoulder. "Never mind that. I thought you were getting beer."

"Decided not to." He shrugged.

"Probably a good thing considering it's only noon." She licked the ice cream that had dripped onto her fingers. James tried not to notice the way the sunlight hit her hair, and how long and thin, elegant, her fingers were. "I should get back to my Dad and go find Petunia."

"She's here?" James began looking around for her.

"Of course she's here. We come every year."

"You have to introduce us."

"I know you want to be married to me, but settling for my sister will do you no good. She's here with her stupid boyfriend."

James choked on the bite of ice cream he was swallowing.

"That was a joke."

"I still want to meet her." He breathed heavily, and grabbed the temples of his head. "Brain freeze. Ice cream is the work of the devil."

"My plan is working then."

"Sirius, this has been the fortieth time we've ridden this. Come on."

"You counted?" They walked out of the queue to get on another ride.

"Maybe we should get lunch?"

"Not hungry." He shrugged. "Do you like Ferris wheels?"

"They are fine."

"That's not what I asked." Sirius folded his arms across his leather jacket, and put more weight on his left leg, sticking his right leg out slightly. This look said that Sirius Black did not, in fact, give any fucks. "You're always doing that. Saying something is fine. You never say what you mean. You never say what you fucking want."

"I like Ferris wheels." Remus said quietly. Sirius gently pushed him forward, and they grabbed the next compartment. "I don't because it's dangerous."

"I don't see how Ferris wheels are dangerous."

Remus rolled his eyes. "For someone that just criticized me for never saying what I mean, you are completely skilled in beating around the bush. I don't say what I want because I don't let myself want."

Sirius said nothing for a while, but they watched the sun glisten on the lake as they went higher into the sky. Sirius pointed to the ducks.

"Where do the ducks go, Moony?"

"Holden, they go to France." He cracked a smile.

On the eighth time on the Ferris wheel, Sirius reached for Remus's hand. He did not protest, or say anything. Sirius smiled again, and Remus noticed that this smile reached his eyes. They watched the world spin, holding hands, and Sirius began humming Across the Universe. Remus let him, and after a few minutes of just letting Sirius hum, he joined in. They would break their hands apart to get off the ride, only to join them again when they were seated again.