The sun faded and fell into the trees. It had been a successful day of keeping Sirius out of trouble; James hadn't been a complete prat to Lily. Peter did not get sick. Remus enjoyed the quiet humming with Sirius on the ferris wheel. The four Marauders walked back from the fair grounds to the Potter's house a mile away.
Sirius lagged behind everyone, and Remus slowed down to walk with him. They did not speak, but walked in comfortable silence.
"I'm sorry about earlier." Sirius did not look at Remus, but kept his eyes on his own feet, watching them as they walked.
"It's okay, Padfoot."
"No, it's not."
"Well, just don't do it again."
They didn't speak again until they had reached the Potter's house. Mrs. Potter had built a bonfire. "I'll try not to." The words flew out of his mouth and immediately he regretted them. The truth was, Sirius was not very good at trying. Everything that killed him made him feel alive.
"I've set up a tent for you boys if you want to spend the night." Mrs. Potter said.
"Actually, I should probably get back home." Remus clutched the sleeve of his sweater on his right arm.
"Can't you stay, Moony?" Sirius almost pouted.
"I have to go, sorry. My parents worry." He almost bit his lip, but resisted the urge.
"It's alright. We'll owl you tomorrow when this git finally gets out of bed." Peter elbowed Sirius in the ribs.
"Fuck off." Sirius jabbed Peter in the stomach with his elbow. James rolled his eyes, but kicked Sirius in the shins for the fun of it.
Remus made his exit, hearing the scuffle as he walked inside to use floo powder. He felt the green flames as he travelled home.
The lights were off. He wasn't sure if his Dad had returned from France yet or not. He turned on the kitchen lights and found his mother slouched over the table, passed out, clutching a mostly empty bottle of firewhiskey; there were maybe a few sips left. Remus picked up the bottle carefully, trying not to wake her, and emptied the remains into the sink. He had seen drinking destroy his mother. The last thing he wanted was for it to destroy Sirius.
After Remus had gotten sick, he saw her slowly disappear behind the bottle. He found her crying in the kitchen one morning when he was ten because she was certain that he would never go to school. Remus's father had been hopelessly upset when Remus became ill, but he did not use alcohol to cope. He poured himself into his work; Remus discovered the world of books.
He had been angry today and harsher than normal. Remus walked into the living room, grabbed his old, tattered copy of A Tale of Two Cities and picked up where he left off, with an ear strained on the kitchen, listening to make sure his mother was okay. The cover had fallen off years ago.
Around three AM, she woke. He grabbed her some water and put her to bed. The house was a mess. It had been irresponsible of him to leave her here for two weeks without supervision. It had been stupid to go check on Sirius without making sure that she was okay.
You can still save Sirius. She's already gone.
He ignored that voice in his head.
Sirius sat on his back lying next to James and Peter. The fire was still burning and they had not gone into the tent yet. He rested his head on his right arm, bent in a v as a makeshift pillow, and rested his left arm over his stomach. He crossed his legs at the ankle, the right over the left. He didn't know why, but he always fell asleep this way.
James was snoring. Peter almost kicked him awake, but didn't want to start another scuffle. "We should move him."
Sirius wasn't listening. "Is everything okay?"
Sirius finally looked at him. "Oh yeah, Pete. It's fine."
"If you say so."
He didn't know what time it was. He guessed around four.
"Are you going to fall asleep?"
"Maybe. I think I'll watch the sun come up."
Peter tried to stay awake but fell asleep around five. Sirius rubbed his eyes and tried to force himself to stay awake. He was drifting off about five minutes later when they heard the trees rustle.
He reached for his wand and pointed it at the trees.
"It's only me." Remus walked through, his hands held up.
"You should know better than to sneak up on me." He put his wand back in his pocket. "So, did you sneak out?"
"Something like that." The truth was, he knew that he was not going to be able to sleep at home, and he wanted to be with the Marauders. He wanted to be a normal fifteen year old boy for just one night in the summer, not having to worry about if his mother was passed out in the neighbour's yard again.
"James fell asleep first. Light weight."
"Why are you still awake? You look awful."
"I'm also hungover." Sirius moved over a little bit so that Remus could lie down next to him. He tried to ignore the rising feeling in his stomach. They were so close but not touching. He felt his skin catch fire and shrugged out of his leather jacket.
He swallowed and with a shaky breath said "we watched the sun set and now we're watching the sun come up. We're practically married."
"Great. I'm stuck with a lousy house husband that gets mud everywhere."
"Yeah, but at least I don't set fire to the drapes."