A/N: I have been crazy busy with studying for finals and doing several writing portfolios. And I had this draft sitting around for a week or so but I wanted to make things perfect so I added to it. Thank you for reading it. It's almost finished, and then I think I will do a re-write of some of the earlier chapters. Enjoy.

Sirius Black had thought of this moment repeatedly for the last two years. He never thought it would have happened like this: spending a month in the psychiatric ward of St. Mungos, holding hands with Remus on a ferris wheel the day before he nearly drank himself to death. And now, they had been kissing in the middle of the woods at two thirty in the morning. James had caught them. Mr and Mrs Potter had also seen.

The Potters, the closest thing Sirius had to parents, did not look horrified, Sirius would later recall.

Perhaps they had always known that Sirius preferred boys to girls. Perhaps they had meant it when they said in second year that he was always welcome in their house and nothing would change that. They acted, in short, like parents should. Sirius's biological parents had had no idea. Well, that wasn't quite true, but they were in complete denial about it. The summer before, they had talked to him about finding a suitable match. He had said nothing and snuck off to muggle London for three days, aimlessly perusing record stores and buying a few clothes, one of them being his leather jacket he now never took off, except for showering, sleeping, and playing quidditch.

"My feet are getting cold." Sirius finally said. Remus was holding his hand. He realised he was barefoot.

"Maybe we should go inside," Mrs Potter offered.

"Great plan. I think we need to have a little chat." Mr Potter began to motion them all back towards the house. Slowly, Sirius made his way back to the house. Remus did not let go of his hand. There were a lot of wayward branches sticking out, ready to trip them.

James would have been laughing at this, but his mother was giving him the look that said she would hex him into next week if he did.

Mr Potter told James to go on up to bed. The rest of them sat in the study. Sirius sat on the leather couch he had laid on when he had one of the worst headaches of his life. Remus had read to him. He was thinking of Remus's voice filling the room when he realised Mrs Potter was talking to him.

"Are you listening, dear?"

He nodded.

"Right. As I was saying," said Mr Potter, who had known that Sirius was in fact not listening, "we need to come up with some ground rules."

Sirius groaned.

"Please don't give me a talk about the birds and the bees."

"I don't think that exactly applies here," Mrs Potter offered. She was sitting on the armrest of the couch next to Remus and Sirius. Mr Potter was pacing back and forth, a habit of his. Like Sirius, Mr Potter had a terrible time staying still.

"I won't give you that talk, Sirius." He put his hand to his chin. "I don't want you to feel like you aren't welcome here, Remus. Just don't spend the night in Sirius's room."

"I can respect that, I'm just saying, what about when we go back to school in a few weeks?"

"That is not my problem."

"Fair enough."

"I just want you both to know that you are always welcome here. We don't care if you're homosexuals."

"Actually I'm not quite sure if I'm one hundred percent gay." Remus said, staring at the floor.

"I'm not, either. I mean, I don't know. I'm not exactly into a lot of people, I guess. Except for you, I mean." Sirius went red in the face.

"Perhaps we should leave you two alone for a minute."

"I can't believe they were so cool about this."

"I'm not." Sirius squeezed Remus's hand.

"They make a good point though. I don't know what we'll do when we go back."

"I think the conversation is going to be more, sorry you tried to kill yourself, Sirius. Better luck next time."

"Who the hell would say that to you?"

"Reg and his friends." Sirius shrugged, trying to come off as okay. Trying to pretend that this did not hurt him.

"We could just not tell anyone."

"I mean, we don't have to make a big deal out of it, but I don't exactly want to hide things, either."

"Does this mean you're my boyfriend?"

"Do you really have to ask? Who else proposes to you in a letter and offers to shit all over your carpets?"

"Does this mean you're Darcy?"

"Ah come on, Remus. Just because my parents are jerks and would totally tell you that you can't marry me because you're inferior doesn't mean that I can't be Elizabeth."

"I don't know, you do have a lot of pride."

"Yeah well, you can't be prejudiced, you're a god damn werewolf."

"Shh. They'll hear you."

"I can guarantee you they already know and do not care." Remus had been holding his hand but finally let go.

"Did someone tell them?"

"No. I just know they have a way of knowing things that others don't. Like, last year, Mr Potter kept asking me if I was queer and I just kept saying no. And he kept asking me if I was sure and I just kept saying no."

"I think everyone but you knew you were queer." Remus took his hand again.

"And did you?"

"Know I was queer?"

"Well, no. I mean, that, too. But did you know…about me?"

"I had my suspicions. But I didn't want to put you into boxes or anything. I just didn't think you liked me back. And that sucked."

"Why wouldn't I like you?"

"Because I'm a god damn werewolf?"

"And I'm a dog."

"So, friends? Friends that hug and kiss and hold hands? Just not exactly in public?"

"I mean if you held my hand I wouldn't object, just don't kiss me with tongue in the middle of the great hall."

"If anyone was slobbering, it would be you."

Sirius stuck out his tongue. "Don't tempt me."

"You wouldn't dare."

Mr and Mrs Potter returned to see Sirius leaning into Remus's face and licking him on the nose. Mr Potter coughed.

Sirius jumped.

"It's not what it looks like."

"I think we need to add a don't lick each other's faces in public to the rule."

"Remus, dear, would you like to spend the night? I mean, Sirius obviously tried to sneak you in through the window, but you can spend the night in James's room."

"I let him use the front door. I'm a proper gentleman. You raised me well."

"Well, you're welcome to spend the night. But it is getting very late now and you need to go to bed."

"I should probably owl home and let my mother know."

Sirius was already moving towards the stairs. "If I find Remus in your bed tomorrow morning, there will be consequences.

"So I just have to kick him out by sunrise, then? How very Romeo and Juliet." Sirius winked and ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

"I always forget you read more than you let on."

"It's one of my many talents." Sirius opened the door to James's room. He was sitting on his bed throwing a snitch into the air and catching it.

"Do something else with your time, mate."

"Like run off into the middle of the night, kissing people?"

"Admit it, if it was a certain red head, you would do the same."

James stood up and punched him in the shoulder.

"Ah, I'm Evans now." Remus took his shirt off and took one from James's drawer.

"You're already spending the night together?"

"No, I'm spending the night with you. Ground rule."

"So I'm the third wheel?"

"No, you have Peter." Remus took out the sleeping bag from the closet and began laying it down on the floor.

"Remus, Mum got you a bed last summer."

"How considerate."

"Well, she loves all her children. Although I guess this is incest."

"Gross. Take that back right now."

"Go to bed, Sirius." Mr Potter was standing in the doorway.

"Tell James not to make incest jokes. He knows the kind of family I come from. If he's not careful, he'll be next."

"Good night, Sirius."

About twenty minutes later, Sirius heard a creak as the door opened. Expecting Remus, he slowly sat up, letting the covers hide his chest, suddenly self-conscious. It was not Remus.

Mr Potter sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I thought about owling your Mum and Dad about letting them know you are here, that you're home safe. "I haven't though," he said quickly; he saw the look in Sirius's eyes that were saying please don't betray me.

"Anyway, there is a pretty big issue we need to discuss in the morning."

"Why did you wake me up, then?" Like usual, his voice came off harsher than he intended.

"Don't pretend you weren't waiting for a certain boy to come sleep in here."

Sirius immediately blushed. He found himself doing that more and more now, blushing.

He hated it.

"I take your silence to mean I'm right."

"No, I can follow the rules."

"Just don't tell your mother."

"I don't think she cares one way or the other."

"I mean the mother you live with."

"So you're really okay with all this?"

"I have a cousin that dates boys and girls. Not at the same time, but I think you would call that bisexual?"

"I think so, that's what I've seen in the muggle bookshop, anyways."

"Anyways, it doesn't matter if I have a cousin, or an uncle, in your case, or a friend. When you're a parent, you love your children no matter what. We might not be your biological parents, and believe me, your parents have certainly done a number in "raising" you, not loving you for who you are is one of their biggest faults."

"I think not loving me, period. End of story. I could have been the perfect son and I still don't think they would have. I guess one of the nice things about trying to die is now I can at least say that out loud."

It had been a suicide attempt. Sirius knew that now. He didn't exactly want to die, but he didn't want to continue on the way things were going. He didn't want to end his life, he just wanted to stop existing, and so being reckless on purpose seemed to be the answer.

"Do you have someone you can talk to at Hogwarts about this? Dumbledore, perhaps?"

"I don't really talk to Dumbledore." He yawned. "I do talk to my head of house though."

"Minerva McGonagall?"

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you knew her name or not."

"How many letters do you think she has sent me about you and James since you both became friends?"

"Good point."

"Now I should go to sleep. We will talk tomorrow. Good night, Sirius."

"Good night." He slumped down onto his pillow and was staring at the ceiling, the house completely still again, when Remus tapped on his window.

"You idiot, you could have used the door."

"It creaks. I heard how loud it is when you were talking to Mr Potter. Help me in."

"How did you even get up here?"

"I know how to fly, too. I'm not as good as you, but I can at least make it to a second story window."

"Oh, right." Sirius opened the window all the way and heaved Remus through the window. The broomstick had fallen to the ground when Remus got off it. "Accio broomstick."

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"So they don't wake up and find a broomstick right under my window."

He climbed back into bed, this time making room for Remus. "You can't stay long, but can you stay until I fall asleep?"

"Did you have a change of heart?"

"No, I just don't want to break the rules."

"I can stay until you're asleep."

"Could you hold my hand?"

Remus laughed and took his hand. "I always do."

"Shut up, hand holding is very punk rock."

"I like holding your hand. Are you the big spoon or the little spoon tonight?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Sirius turned onto his side, away from Remus.

He felt Remus's arms wrap around him. He kicked one leg out of the comforter. "You're a god damn space heater, moony."

"I'm a were."

"Are you making werewolf puns?"

"You know me too well. He kissed the back of Sirius's neck. Sirius stopped breathing for a minute. "Is it selfish if I don't want you to sleep so I can stay here longer?"

"I'll stay awake cause the darks not taking prisoners tonight."

"Did they ever stop making this a crime?"

"I know the muggles did. I haven't been able to find out much about wizarding society. If I started researching criminialisation of homosexuals, my parents would not be able to deny it anymore."

"Is that what you've been doing on all those excursions in London?"

"Truthfully?" Sirius knew that Remus had been nodding. "Partly. I also get records, and some clothes, and there is a crafting store I like to go to with this very nice lady that taught me how to knit. I knit all kinds of things this summer. Of course, they looked like shit, given that I was sober for the first time in months, and I had a terrible headache, and my hands shook, but I knit you a jumper, if you want it. I didn't know how big to make it, so it might swallow you, but it's there if you want it."

"You knit me a jumper?"

"Well, it's not that big of a deal. I knit myself one, too."

"Does it have a giant R on it?"

"Yes, for Really Ungrateful Git."

"I will love this jumper. I will wear it until there's gaping holes in it, and even then I won't throw it away."

"Thank you."

"So, how am I going to sneak out of here once you fall asleep."

"I could just be going to the bathroom."

"Why didn't I think of that?"

"It would be suspicious if I was peeing all night."

"You have one of the smallest bladders of anyone I know."

"Well, it's okay. I don't think we're breaking the rules if I don't sleep."

"Go to sleep, Sirius."

"I'm just saying, I think there's a loophole. I'm very good at loopholes. They call me Loophole Black."

"No one calls you that."

"Well, they should." Sirius moved closer to Remus.

"Don't let me fall asleep."

"I make no promises. I'll go to bed once you're asleep."

Sirius was lightly sleeping a few minutes later. Remus continued holding him. He noticed the way his hair fell onto his face in soft waves. The moon gave just enough light for him to see his face. Sirius liked sleeping with the curtains open. He liked to be able to see the stars. He had been terrified of the dark since he was a small boy and Walburga locked him in dark cupboards for hours at a time for the smallest infractions.

Remus knew that this was one of the reasons Sirius liked holding hands so much. He would never ask for it, and Remus was one of the few people that he let in, but he needed someone to hold his hand and tell him he would be okay. He could never say those words out loud, but by holding onto him, he could say it that way.

Remus slowly untangled himself from Sirius and got out of bed, covering him back up with blankets. Sirius did not open his eyes, and there was no sign he was waking up. Remus slowly backed out of the room and was opening the door when Sirius mumbled in his sleep: "Stay."

Remus immediately let go of the handle and stood in the doorway. He did not want to make things worse by staying. He didn't want the Potters to call Sirius ungrateful, or to tell him that he was breaking the rules, and being disrespectful. But Sirius had never verbally asked for someone to stay anymore.

He closed the door very carefully and crept back into bed.

"I'm here." He took his hand.