Hello my dears! I've had a busy little time recently, though more about that later.
The direction I was going towards for this was as an answer to TheCookieMonster77's request that I:
"...should write about Ringo and Asuma moving in together..."
But then Kathy veered me off of that path and instead sent me into the tumbling and terrifying jungle of thought that is my Muse's domain, and this was what came from it.
It was a sad fact of life that Asuma was used to Ringo sneaking into his bedroom during all hours of the day and night.
The first time she had got drunk -and he meant completely smashed- instead of heading home she had decided that his bed would obviously be better, and so she had come tumbling through his window in a long tangle of drunken limbs and then she had crawled into his bed with him. During the night she had managed to selfishly hog all of the covers and then she had somehow roped him into bringing her breakfast in bed the next morning because she had a hangover.
Then there were the times she came back from missions and didn't want to wake her sisters up, so she instead came to him because as her best friend he was someone she could wake up, and she always made a mess in his bathroom so that she could get cleaned up, and then she went around stealing his clothes and snacks. Sometimes after training he'd think she'd gone home only to find her in his room, laying on his bed reading his magazines or poking through his things.
He was used to Ringo invading his life. She'd been doing it since they were children, so he wasn't really bothered by it too much. But it did get annoying, especially when she woke him up from a particularly nice dream about a blonde kunoichi he'd been seeing for a few weeks. She wasn't too bad once you got her to be quiet for a few minutes, and she was three different types of beautiful, and the things she was doing in his dream were...
"Asuma."
He knew that the dream was gone, but there was a faint and stupid hope that maybe if he played dead she'd get distracted by something shiny and leave so that he could get back to his pleasant little dream.
"Asu-chan~ Wake up~" Great. She was doing the singing thing. That meant she wasn't going to leave.
"Ringo, we are far past the stage in life where it was acceptable for you to call me that. Go away, I'm tired."
There was a single beat of silence where he was able to hope that just maybe she had listened to him for once, but then she suddenly whipped his covers off of him, and he knew that a slow and suffering torture would be more merciful than this.
"Fuck!" He managed to strangle out as he sat up quickly to drag a pillow into his lap, his voice squeaking in a very unmanly manner. His face flushed red in mortification and his pride began to weep as Ringo began to laugh, practically rolling around on the floor and holding her sides as if they were about to split open at the seam
Still holding his pillow and what was left of his dignity tightly, Asuma leaped out of bed and ran across the hall to the bathroom, careful not to slam the door because there was no way that he wanted his parents to come and investigate. He'd probably die if that happened.
Well, the shock and the laughter -as much as that had completely destroyed his pride- had managed to get rid of his hard-on, so he had one less problem to worry about. Now all he had to do was manage to die as quietly as possible from mortification.
"Asu." He heard a small voice say, following a quiet knock. "Asu, I'm sorry." He didn't bother to even bother to answer the little plea in her voice, he just sunk down to the floor and leaned back against the door, burying his face into his knees.
"I..." She sighed and tried to muster her courage, "I didn't mean to, you know, laugh. It was just from the shock, you know?" Silence. "It wasn't that I thought it was tiny, not that I have anything to compare it to since my virgin eyes haven't seen one of those before except in pictures, but I'm sure that you are very well endowed. I... I just want you to know that I was definitely not laughing at your size."
Asuma could feel his face flush incredibly hot as he squeezed his eyes shut and prayedthat for once in her life Ringo would just shut up.
"Um... And then there's your boxers. I never really imagined you as a boxer person -not that I've ever imagined you in your underwear, of course. But they were very nice boxers. Kinda plain though."
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
"So... How are you doing? You know, other than... You know."
Shut. Up.
"Hey, what were you dreaming of?"
"God Ringo!" He shouted as his head snapped up, "You don't just go around asking about that! What is wrong with you?"
There was a beat of heavy silence before he heard her sigh from the other side of the door. "Sorry. It's just that this situation is kind of awkward."
"Well, none of your questions are making it any better!"
"Sorry." She said in a small, pouting voice. Asuma roughly dragged his fingers through his slightly tangled length of blonde hair before he hissed, knowing that there was nothing worse than a pouting Ringo. She got all gloomy and obedient and sad and he was so stupid that he was just going to forgive her to bypass that whole experience.
"It's... fine. Just no more questions. Okay?"
"Okay. I'll just forget that this entire thing ever happened."
Asuma sighed, thankful for that at the very least. He didn't want to go through any more of her questioning, especially when the answers would just embarrass them both further.
Especially since the blonde hadn't been the only one in the dream, and had been far from his favorite part.
He stood up with a grunt and mentally walked away from that trail of thought, turning and opening the door with the hope that they could really move past this experience. He looked down once the door was opened and found that Ringo had been sitting down in a mirror of his previous position, and as her eyes snapped up to him he released a thankful breath.
It was fine. They'd both move on and pretend that the last half hour hadn't happened, and they'd live happily in a world where neither of them had gone through this experience and-
And her eyes flicked down to where his sanity really wished they wouldn't go and she tilted her head in thought.
"Hey, it's gone." She said as if it were an amazing occurrence. His face flushed an even deeper red and he quickly swung the door that he had yet to release shut, slamming it right in her face.
This, of course, forced his parents to come out into the hall and check on things, and Asuma could only wish that he could just curl up on the cool floor and just die.
"What's going on?" He heard his mother ask, and even though it was useless to do so, he prayed. He prayed and he prayed and he-
"I saw Asu's stiffy and now he's embarrassed." There was a long moment of shocked silence that weighed down on Asuma like lead and cement, and Asuma tried to figure out if she had really just said that to his parents.
His parents.
And as his mother started laughing, long and loud, he could only grip his hair in a desperate hold as he tried to keep himself from going out and killing his best friend.
He heard his father sigh on the other side of the door. "Right, well we're going back to bed." He said, and Asuma could just see the man grabbing his mother's arm and tugging her back to their bedroom, and as he passed by the bathroom door he knocked lightly on the wood as if he were giving his son sympathy and strength.
God, he loved his dad.
After he heard his parents' door click close Asuma could only brace himself and open the door once again to an even guiltier looking Ringo.
"Okay," She started as soon as she spotted him, "I am really sorry about that. I just felt really nervous and it just kind of came out. I swear that I absolutely, positively did not-"
"Ringo," He interrupted wearily, leaning his head against the door way and trying to keep himself from banging it on the wood. "Why did you come here in the first place?"
"Oh!" Her eyes lit up as she remembered, "Well, you see, I found an apartment."
He waited a moment for her to continue on with that little tidbit of information but when she didn't he could only groan in defeat.
"Great. Wonderful. What does this have to do with waking me up in the middle of the night and completely mortifying me?"
"I was thinking that you could move into it with me and that we could be roommates!" She said, beaming at him. All he could do was stare.
"And all of this was your way of convincing me?"
"Well... no. Things didn't exactly go the way I was planning." She said, dimming slightly, but then she grinned at him, once again confident and cocky. "But hey, the best things rarely do."
And that was all it took for her to completely disarm his anger and leave him standing before her amused and willing once again. He shook his head at her and moved past her, going back into his room in a silly attempt to move past everything that had just happened.
"And you don't see anything wrong with this plan of yours?" He asked as he got back underneath the covers.
"Nope." She went over to his dresser and opened a drawer, though she paused at a thought as it entered her mind, "Unless you and blondie want to shack up together?"
Asuma couldn't help but to snort and stare up at the ceiling.
"Nah. She's pretty and all but... She's... There's nothing really there." He finally said, glancing over at Ringo only to end up staring in shock as she pulled her plain black T-shirt up over her head to reveal a taunt stomach and firmly toned muscles that moved lightly with her every movement and breath, and also revealing that his best friend did not wear a bra.
Well, that was interesting. Very... interesting.
"Ringo!" He finally managed after a few slow moments of stunned ogling, and he couldn't decide if the noise he made was a yelp or a squeak.
"What?" She asked, turning to see her best friend practically plastered to the wall that his bed was pushed against, facing away from her. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"You and your... nakedness!"
Ringo stared at his huddled form for a moment before snorting, crossing her arms over her bare chest, unashamed and unembarrassed. "My nakedness?"
"Yes! Get rid of it!" She snorted again.
"Hold your horses, I'm just getting one of your shirts to sleep in. It's not like my 'nakedness' is that big of a deal anyways since you don't exactly see me as a girl."
There was a moment of silence in which she shucked her jeans and pulled on a T-shirt that was a bit too big for her, and just as she slipped under the sheets behind Asuma she heard him sigh heavily.
"Ringo, it is impossible to see you as anything other than a girl."
And he said it so simply and with a deeper, underlying meaning in his words that she knew it was a truth, and she was glad that he was facing away from her since it meant that he couldn't see the way her face flared red.
She smiled lightly and snuggled down, trying to make sure that she didn't hog the pillow from him even though she knew that at some point during the night she'd manage to steal the pillow and wrap all of the blankets around her and seal poor Asuma out.
"So... you want to move in me, roomie?" Ringo asked, staring at the light skin of Asuma's back -a back that she had always found surprisingly firm and steady throughout the years- with a smile.
Asuma groaned and turned towards her. "I really don't know why I agree to these plans of yours. I mean, really, you'd think that after everything that I'd have learned that... Ringo, are you wearing pants?"
"Um..." She smiled at him, hoping to calm him down since she was all warm and comfy and snug and she really didn't want to move. "No."
"Damn it Ringo, put on some damn pants!"
Tada! Definitely a lot different than I was heading towards originally, and a lot more crackish.
Well, I had my prom Saturday where I almost fell down concrete steps due to my heels and then numerous other times just due to not being able to walk in the stupid things (they came off as soon as I stepped into the building), and I danced for the first time with my friends. We stayed away from the giant hump-orgy on the dance floor and instead just danced stupid and crazy back against the wall, and we had a lot of fun.
I had my mother's macaroni salad for the first time (yum but for the onion and pepper) and I discovered the wonder of boob-stickers (Those things that make your dress stick to your boob. They are wonderful and amazingly strong).
I also posted my first separate fic (It's Soul Eater)! Go check it out if you're interested!
Hello to my new dear goldenagato! Hello!
See y'all later!