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When I wake up the next morning, my alarm clock reads 6:30 in the morning. Curse my body for its natural alarm clock. Today was the first day in a long while I was allowed to sleep in. It was the first day of summer and since I woke up, though still a little groggy, I decided it was best to force my friends awake as well. Today I will tell them about my moving away and schedule a party. This time it will be a party with my mother as well. Maybe we could get the whole neighborhood to attend since it will be a farewell. I doubt they would be sad to see us leave though seeing as how I have brought many nights of troubles to this neighborhood.
I'm still wearing only my boi shorts and I notice that I do not ha e my cell phone one me. I remember that I left it in my jacket pocket from the night before. As I walk out of my room, I hear a faint shuffling from my mom's room behind me, mom must be awake, I thought. I walk down the stairs into the hallway and see my black striped jacket on the floor where I left it the night before. I search the pocket to find my cell phone with a 25% battery life remaining and notice the man's shoes are still on the floor by the door.
He must have stayed the night. Well whatever I guess I'm happy for mom, I hope he brightens her spirits.
I go to sit down on the tan colored couch across from the television. I pick up my cell phone and find that I have three new messages. One is from Daryl and two are from his girlfriend, Elizabeth. I open the two from Elizabeth, they ramble on about why I had to leave the party so early last night and of how boring I am. Next is the one from Daryl.
From: Daryl
heyy man, what's up? u comin to my place today or did ya get ur ass chewed out bad?
Oh, that's right. Today is Wednesday. Every Wednesday I go over to Daryl's house to work on my portraiture. I guess I'll tell him about moving away then. It might be best to get changed before going out. Now that I look at myself, I'd look weird if anyone walked down the stairs right now. I mean, an effeminate guy like me wearing purple and blue striped boi shorts texted away first thing in the morning has got to be a sight to see. What makes it even better are the cuts on my hand, that I forgot to disinfect last night. I wonder if I'm already contaminated with whatever that freak had. Well whatever to be safe I'll go upstairs and clean it out before I change clothes to leave.
As I stand up to make myself some hot cocoa, I hear a creaking on the stairs. I look up only to be staring into the eyes of Freddy. Well this is awkward, I think. The first think I do is instinctively cover my chest and my underwear. Then I accidentally let it slip saying, "Well, this is awkward." And as soon as I say it I jet down the hall and I to the kitchen flinging two coffee cups onto the counter and hastily filling one with milk and popping it into the microwave. As the microwave beeps and I put the hot cocoa mix into the cup I hear the stairs creak and Freddy is walking into the kitchen.
"I didn't realize you were a boy." That's the first mother fucking thing out of his mouth. I thought I could get along better with this guy but he was butting into my business last night and now he thinks I'm a fucking girl. Isn't this just great, this guy is definitely starting off my new shit list for my new life in California. He continues on saying, "Well, I guess it's better that way. But are you one of those guys who tries to be effeminate to get men's attention?"
That little comment scored this man a spot on my shit list. But since I'll be living with this guy, I guess I'll just have to deal with him for now. I say, "and if I am, what are you gonna do about it?" I know I shouldn't say things like this, since both of my parents are completely homophobic. I guess my mom is less so than my dad was but still it won't go down pretty if I ever love a man. I wonder how this guy views homosexuals, depending on his response, he may find a way off of my shit list. He looks like a pretty stuck up guy, so I doubt he will like them very much even if he does accept them.
"Well I guess I would advise you not to mess with men. You're the same so you should know how hard it is to suppress out carnal desires, right? And with a lil' cutie like you, it would be quite difficult to just walk away without getting any." As he says this he smirks slightly, walking past me to the coffee maker, pushing the button to start a new pot.
I take my cocoa with me as I walk up the stairs and to my bedroom. I guess I should head his advice and not tease men, but it's not like I tried in the first pace. I mean, sure I went along with the hot ones but I would never hit on them outright and by myself. That's like admitting to the world that I like men. Honestly I don't even know myself. I just like beautiful people, and if it happens to be a man I guess I'll deal with that when the time comes. And even though I have a bad temper and seem to lose it anytime I'm hit on, I don't actually mind all the attention. I guess that's what I seek most, since father has hated me since I was a kid.
I remember the first time he looked at me with disgust. It was the fifth grade school festival and my class was putting on a play. There weren't many girls in the classes so I was stuck with the role of Cinderella. I took pride in that actually, I liked the attention to be forever on me, even if I had to dress as a girl. Well. I thought I played the role greatly. I had been practicing how to put on makeup with the girls in the class and had become the best at it. To this day I can still apply makeup better than any of the women in my school.
I guess this wasn't something a boy should actually be proud of and my father made that very clear when he came to watch the school play. We had to perform the play twice and my father came to the latter. I had told him I was going to be one of the main characters so he naturally thought I was the prince, and boy was he in for a shock. He got there and I was acting away, I could see the scowl on his face about half way through the performance. I thought maybe the kids in the background were acting up or something but I was wrong. After the play ended and we were bowing to the crowd, I looked for my father and saw him walking out the back door.
After I walked backstage, the girls told me I should wear a girl's uniform so the students from other schools wouldn't know that even the boys looked better than them at their school. After I got changed into the female uniform, I went to my parents but could only find my mom. She looked worried and I asked where my father was. That's when I heard him yelling. He was staring a teacher square in the face shouting "Why is my son wearing female clothes? Why did you force my kid to wear those hideous clothes when there are girls in his class?" I could tell that he was getting more agitated as time went by. I know I've told you that my mother is scary when she's angry but my father, he was in a whole different level. He could scare a blind man with just one look in his direction. You would've thought he was a yakuza member.
Well anyway, as he was yelling at the teacher, who looked like he was about to piss his pants, my mom was trying I cover my ears and drag me away. I was weak as a kid and my father terrified me but I loved him all the same. As he was yelling he said "Are you trying to ruin my family's reputation? Do you want to turn my only kid into a FAG?" That utterly shocked me. He put down the teacher and walked toward the classroom door. As my father walked toward me he gave me a look like I was lower than he. Like I was lower that the dirt on the bottom of his shoes. As he walked past he uttered only one phrase "Disgusting FAG."
I was completely shocked. I may have only been a fifth grader and a sheltered one at that but, even I knew what it meant to be called a fag. Since that day it has been my least favorite word. Just the slight whisper of his word makes me lose sight of everything. My vision becomes red and black. Everything is spotty and I can only hear whites noise. Nothing can snap me out of my fit of anger. I fly around punching and kicking until I black out.
I do not have anything against homosexuals like my family but, I believe such a derogatory term shouldn't be used by anyone for anyone.
As I think these things, I make my way to my bathroom to where I have a stock of rubbing alcohol and bandages. Dressing my wound from the previous night I continue onto my next quest of finding clothes to wear for the day. I choose my favorite blue boi shorts and tight fitting blue jeans. For my top I have white t-shirt and a black vest topped off with a black diamond necklace. I think this is cute enough for meeting up with Daryl. I think he's a nice guy and he's got a great body, so it's really fun to draw him in his underwear.
Today I'll leave before breakfast and pick it up on the way to Daryl's house. I wonder how he'll take my leaving. He's been something akin to my best friend since he found me crying after the play in fifth grade. Even so I don't quite let him know all there is to know about me. Getting close to me is not something many people can do. Besides my mother, only Elizabeth and Daryl have managed. It's not that I don't want people to get close to me, I just don't want to be a burden nor do I want them to pity me.
I grab my sketchbooks and my pencil pouch as I turn off my light and close my door. I walk downstairs to find my mother and Freddy at the breakfast bar in the kitchen eating eggs and sipping coffee. I place my empty cocoa mug in the sink and turn to my mother to let her know I'm leaving. When I turn I see the very unpleasant sight of her flirting away with Freddy.
"I'm heading out to Daryl's house." I say.
"Don't be home too late." She calls back.
"Got it," I say on my way out the front door.
Daryl lives four blocks down the street from me. Even though that doesn't sound far, when you live in the middle of nowhere it's about the size of sixteen city blocks. I grab my bicycle and begin my journey to his house. Hopefully when I get to California I can ask mom to get me a motorcycle instead or at least a nice Audi. I don't really mind the type of car I get to use as long as I arrive at my destination safely. But an Audi R8 or an Audi A9 would be pretty cool to have.
When I arrive at Daryl's house, I walk in without ringing the doorbell as always. I notice that today Elizabeth's shoes are at the doorway as well. His parents shoes don't seem to be here either so I guess one can only imagine what Daryl's been up to. I climb the stairs loud enough so that they can hear me from Daryl's bedroom, knowing full well that I am interrupting their lovey-dovey time. But frankly I think the fact that I'm leaving is more important than their little fling anyway.
I burst straight through the bedroom door with no hesitation and what I see is far more than I thought I would. Previously I had learned to never question the things that Daryl does because it will only confuse you more and today I have learned the same of Elizabeth. I am taken aback by the sight in front of me. Elizabeth is fully naked except for a very short skirt, doing a handstand as Daryl takes snapshots of her from what I can assume are many different angles at once. He has his cameras set on timers at different places in the room taking pictures of her.
I walk in and sit on my favorite bean bag chair, that I have explicitly warned Daryl about the percussions of having sec on. They do not even seem fazed about my presence so I go along with what they are doing and pull out my sketch pad. As I start drawing I notice a whip and a horse crop on the bed and many lash marks on Daryl's back. I can only imagine the things they did in here before I came.
Well whatever, my subject doesn't really matter so long as it has a beautiful body.
A few minutes later after the little photo shoot is over with Daryl notices that I've been sketching. He takes a long look at the picture over my shoulder and decides that he wants it. When he wants something he usually just throws money at it and takes it and I am more Han happy to be paid for my work so I let it slide. This time though I must refuse until I am completely finished with my sketch.
When I hand the project to Daryl, I look up coyly and he gives me a weird face of obvious disgust. I guess it's better to just blurt out what I'm thinking so I say, "After the diplomas are sent in I'm moving to California with mom and her new boyfriend. Oh, and he's pretty hot but has a shitty personality. So I was thinking, I wanna host a farewell party but I need you to buy the booze."
Daryl is obviously still count off guard by my mom's ability to find a new man saying "Didn't your old man, like just die. It hasn't even been a month right?"
Elizabeth chimes in with a "How hot?"
I ignore both questions with one of my own "So can you buy it or not? You're gonna come right?"
They both simultaneously nod starting up a conversation about who to invite and what to buy. They talk about which monkeys in class where best to bring and which of the old hicks to invite. The chatty old ladies down the street were to be invited so mom felt comfortable. And last but not least the girls from school.
Daryl wanted his cat piss beer as per usual and Elizabeth wanted Jaeger and Vodka. I'm more of Seagrams Escapes wine coolers and red wine kind of guy. I can't hold my alcohol well and I like to look fancy with a glass of red wine in my hand. I also like champagne but, a few shots of vodka or a glass of whisky every now and then is fine. Beer doesn't have much of an effect on me unless I drink it quickly so I usually don't drink it. It doesn't have the best taste after all.
For the rest of the afternoon, I draw pictures of Daryl in his boxers like every other Wednesday. Sometimes Elizabeth joins in until she has to leave at four.
When it's Daryl and I alone in his room he strips himself and lays down on his bed. He covers himself with a sheet and looks over to me. "Hey, are you really moving away." Startled by this question, I look in bewilderment before I nod. Usually Daryl doesn't say anything during these drawing sessions because it distracts me from my work. He continues on "And you're never coming back?" I give a little shrug, because honestly I don't know if I wanna come back or not. "Hey can I ask a favor?"
"What is it?" I ask.
"Will you do me one favor, and strip so I can embed the memory into my brain? Ah but don't take off your undies, I don't wanna see your dick."
"What the fuck is wrong with you. I guess you're just a sick pervert like the rest of the monkeys, huh?"
"Maybe so, but I can take some photos of you, right? Like the time in fifth grade when you dressed up like a girl."
"Whatever, but don't jack off to my beautiful self when I'm gone. That's what Elizabeth is for." I say with a wink. I strip down to my blue boi shorts and start posing like a model. He snaps a bunch of photos. We were in the photography club in freshman year together. He takes photos of me often but I guess it's just fair since I always sketch him in his boxers. But the way he phrases his sentences creeps me out sometimes.
When it was about six o'clock in the evening, I decide I should eat since I forgot to grab breakfast. Before Elizabeth left she made sandwiches for Daryl and I to eat. But I'm a growing boy you know, so I really should've eaten breakfast and skipped the mountaint dew at lunch. Soda makes me bloated and it makes my sweat stink.
I have been told that the things I do, do not match up with the things I say. I am always going on to people about how I am a boy but at the same time I shower and cleanse my skin regularly. I can also do my makeup well and I always worry about staying healthy and not getting fat. But I think that is something everyone should worry about. It is not something that women alone should be concerned about because quite frankly, if I were a woman I would definitely not want to play around with an ugly, pimple filled fatass. Just the thought makes me sick.
I grab ran a meal from McDonald's on my way home and my mom calls me just as I walk in the door to inform me that she will be staying out late to see Freddy off before he goes back to California.
My bedroom is freshly cleaned so mom must not have had much to do today. But as I flop down onto my bed, I feel like a sack of rocks. I put my phone on the charger, lucky that it had lasted all day. I lay down and I immediately fall asleep.
Tonight I dream about dark blue eyes, a look of disgust and blue boi shorts.
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