Chapter 6: Kindle

"So tell me," Hitto asked through a small mouthful of soup, "What do you think is going on with this Hollow? I mean, what's with this Bird? Am I right?" Slurping up another small serving of the warm entree, Hitto looked across the table at Matsumoto who was silently drinking her Sake between small sips of her own soup. "Aww geez Rangiku, I hate to see you think so much. You should try to enjoy yourself when you're off duty. It's captain's orders." Smiling, Hitto tried to weasel some kind of a happiness and laughter out of the entranced Matsumoto.

"Oh? I didn't realize I had such a look on my face Hitto." Matsumoto grinned weakly. "And I'm not quite sure what to think of that Hollow ya know? I just hope it knows to stay away next time." She sipped a little more Sake, careful to intake only enough to maybe get a slight buzz going.

I have no desire to lose my concentration here in the present company. Hitto is up to something, asking me out to this restaurant like this without the Captain. I can't just ignore what's happened between Toshiro and me...if that was even real.

"Me too, for it's sake and yours," Hitto broke off a small piece of soft pastry on his plate, taking a nibble as he eyed Matsumoto. Pointing at her,he continued, "But you do have to admire it's strength and single mindedness." He paused to swallow the little bit of food in his mouth, completely comfortable and a little tipsy, "It took the captain's Hyorinmaru and some hits from Haineko and still managed to fade out into space with what would appear to be only you in it's sights. What's with that?"

"Maybe it's got good taste," Matsumoto giggled, glancing at the slight tear in her kosode where the talon had grazed her that afternoon.

"I for one wouldn't want to go up against that thing, and I think it was reckless of the captain to let you fight it instead of him," Hitto joked, unable to foresee the offense before it sunk into Matsumoto's mind.

"He knew I would be alright. And He knew when to let me do what I needed to do." Matsumoto lifted her bowl to her lips, blowing gently across it's rim to cool the still piping hot soup. Beyond the contours of her bowl, she could see Hitto staring at her with dangerous eyes. His blue hair sat on his shoulders, let down from his normal ponytail, and his eyes were flashing in the candlelight, hungry, as though he intended to devour her instead of his meal. Matsumoto sighed heavily, unable to remove her thoughts from the captain. "I'm so sorry Hitto. Thank you very much for coming out with me tonight, but I'm afraid I have to leave a bit earlier than I thought."

"Really Matsumoto? You have to go on such a beautiful night?" Hitto stood up politely.

Matsumoto stretched, unintentionally pushing her chest out provocatively. "Yeah. There's something I need to take care of tonight," Matsumoto replied, looking out towards the distant Seireitei.

"Well," Hitto sighed, stretching as well, "Alright. If it's important enough to pull you from my company, I guess I understand. I just hope we can do this more often." Hitto blushed slightly as her walked over towards Matsumoto.

The two moved quietly out of the restaurant and said goodnight. Before Matsumoto could turn to flash step, Hitto pressed himself against her, hugging her tightly. Unsure of how to respond, Matsumoto politely hugged back, waiting for Hitto to release her. Trying to come up with some way to express her discomfort with his advances, Matsumoto finally squeaked, "Again...thank you Totakki. You're a good friend." She watched Hitto's grin dwindle a bit, seeing he had the strength to save face throughout the disappointment. With another soft, "Goodnight", Matsumoto flickered out of view, flash stepping towards the Squad Ten barracks.

Sitting alone in the dark, Hitsugaya stared out into the starry, night sky. Having finished the report on the day's incidents long ago, he pondered on the different feelings of angst that were causing his vision to blur and his mind to lose focus so easily. A twisted knot had formed in the bottom of his stomach. He knew that tonight was probably the night Hitto was going to try and make a move towards Matsumoto.

Sheesh. Invite me to dinner with you two? How would that be anything BUT a third wheel type situation? I'm sure he and Rangiku are having a wonderful night without me.

Lost in thought, Hitsugaya looked across the various pieces of dark-lit furniture laying about the office trying to find something to preoccupy his chaotic mind.

I don't understand this. What has happened to my objectivity? My serenity? Why am I tormented by these...unnecessary emotions day in and day out?! It's inhibiting me! And I can't keep acting like such a fool. I'm a captain! Captain's shouldn't be so easily defeated!

Losing himself to a moment of rage, Hitsugaya shouted at the top of his heavy lungs, swinging his arm violently across the desk, knocking loose papers and other supplies into the air. Placing his head in between his hands, his body shook with anger and disappointment. He began muttering in a trance of self-hatred. Beyond preoccupied with trying to regain control over his mental state, he was unable to hear the door slide open or see the movement in the room.

"Taichou." Matsumoto gasped, placing a hand to her lips in concern as she ran to the desk. "Are you alright Captain?" She placed her hands firmly on the his shoulders, shaking him gently to get his attention. Letting out a small pained yelp, her concern was rewarded with a firm slap across one of her forearms as Hitsugaya stood swiftly, pushing the chair out behind him and moving over towards the window without even a glance.

"Why did you come?" He grimaced, trying to understand why his reaction to his precious lieutenant resembled that of anger more than concern. As he looked back at her, standing in the dark, she looked as confused as he was, lips trembling as she tried to hold back. I don't think I slapped her hard enough to hurt her...but why did I slap her at all? You fool Toshiro! To attack your own lieutenant!

Letting out a sigh, Hitsugaya watched as Matsumoto walked silently over to the couch and laid down, resting her head on the nearest arm rest. Her illustrious hair pourd over the soft wood of the couch and touched the floor. "Matsumoto," Hitsugaya repeated in a more neutral tone, "Why are you here? I thought you would still be out with Hitto." He moved slowly from the window and over towards the front of the couch. Matsumoto did not look up as he stood over her. She instead continued to stare at the legs of the glass top table sitting in front of her, the sting on her forearm still spreading throughout her body. Hitsugaya gently pushed the table aside and sat on the floor where it once stood, his haori billowing out on the soft decorative rug displayed there. "I'm sorry Rangiku," Hitsugaya looked up at her, watching her close her eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you just then. I just..." he paused for a second to place his hands behind his body and lean back a bit. "I was just frustrated with myself when you walked in. I had no idea it was you."

"I know." Matsumoto mumbled so quiet that Hitsugaya could barely hear her. She lifted her head off the arm rest and sat up, placing her hands in her lap. Her expression was devoid of any emotion; a blank slate. "I came here because there was something I had to find out...from you, Taichou." She looked at the silhouette sitting across from her. Hitsugaya had a pained expression in his eyes, still conflicted by his own actions while trying to predict hers. Even though his hands were positioned behind him as a means of support for his upper body, Matsumoto could see his fingers digging into the fibers of the rug.

"Last night wasn't a dream was it Captain," Matsumoto stated more so than asked. The room filled with silence for a brief moment as the Captain tried to decide how to answer.

"No," Hitsugaya responded calmly, sitting up straight and looking more intently into Matsumoto's glistening blue eyes. "I'm sorry for letting myself ignore the boundaries you've laid down Matsumoto. It doesn't need to happen again." He apologized, his eyebrows furling as he spoke lies. A spark formed and then dissipated just as quickly in Matsumoto's eyes as she processed what was said. She stood up briefly, before sitting down on the rug just in front of her captain, Toshiro's gaze carefully following her movement as he turned to face her once more.

"Taichou..." Matsumoto looked directly into his eyes, her hair gently blowing in the soft breeze coming through the window and dancing throughout the office. She swallowed her fear deep within herself, forcing the question out through a meek but urgent voice,"Do you really mean that?" She softly slid her body closer to Hitsugaya's, stopping just before their knees would touch. He didn't respond. Instead, Matsumoto watched as Hitsugaya closed his eyes, feeling the cool breeze, taking in the scent of his lieutenant as she got closer. "Do you want all of this...to stop?" Matsumoto's voice was barely louder than a whisper as she inched even closer, her clothed knee now grazing the side of Hitsugaya's leg. She felt her heart stop in it's tracks as Hitsugaya opened his eyes slowly, the breathtaking blue catching the soft glow of the moonlight.

"Please...Matsumoto..." Hitsugaya tried to remain calm, but his heart was beating rapidly.

Just tell her it would be...just...we can't. We shouldn't...it's not...grrrrrr

Like rapid fire, thoughts shot through Hitsugaya's head as he tried to speak. He couldn't find the words to say or the strength to open his mouth. But Rangiku, sitting only a mere matter of inches needed an answer. He could feel her soul, stretching like taffy as she held onto the cliff's edge. Do I catch her as she falls?

No. I can't. I can't let myself give in.

"Matsumoto...I," Hitsugaya finally forced her name out, a soft growl to his voice.

Rangiku's eyes began to dull as she felt the moment slip away. Her heart tumbled down into the dark crevice she feared so much; such a lonely plunge. So sure his answer had to be no, she could feel the small flame in her heart flicker and dwindle. It was only a matter of time before she would lose him altogether.

My leap of faith...it was for nothing.

She began to turn away, but was stopped suddenly by the cold touch of her captain's outstretched hand, resting on her cheek. Adjusting her gaze back to his, Hitsugaya removed his fingers from the side of her eager face, watching the spark in her eyes begin to ignite.

"Matsumoto...please don't stop."