Bilbo was starting to tire of the constant reminders of just how far he had misunderstood Fili and Kili's lives. Not literally of course, but he was starting to get sick of feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

After the Great Berry Debacle (at which Fili and Kili did finally eat some of his food, after initially being outright terrified of him), Bilbo left the boys alone to finish whatever it was they were doing down at the stream in the first place.

They returned just when Bombur was serving out the food for the main group – and Bilbo gritted his teeth when he saw the 'left over' bowl being put aside for them.

If he was honest with himself, he was also extremely hungry. There wasn't nearly enough food for a normal hobbit.

But, as his mother had often reminded him, Tooks were no ordinary hobbits.

Bilbo made sure to leave some proper meat at the bottom of his bowl, and kept it hidden from the other dwarves. When he volunteered to take Fili and Kili their food (they had been sent off to watch the ponies), he grabbed his own bowl ("I'm still finishing it, Bombur!") and went off into the darkness.

-ooo-

This was good.

Watching the ponies, even under orders, was still the most relaxing things Kili had done all day. Not that he got to relax much, but knowing that he and Fili were alone and weren't likely to get called on made him breathe easier.
He was back to back with Fili, and he knew his brother would still be scanning the trees for someone approaching them. Kili slowed his breathing down to try and calm Fili's. Their heartbeats matched easily when they were sitting like this.

Just sitting in each other's company.

"Evening lads," Bilbo chirped. Kili flinched – Fili hadn't warned him someone was coming.

"I didn't see you coming, Mister… I mean, Bilbo," Fili said carefully.

"Not to worry, we hobbits are good at that. I promise I will try and give you some warning in the future though."

Kili felt his brother relax. Slightly. He was less tense, at least.

"What are you boys doing?"

"Just sitting," Kili dared, even as Fili answered dutifully, "Watching the ponies."

Fili swung his elbow back and caught Kili's.

It's still too early for your attitude! Don't screw this up!

But Bilbo just chuckled. "I can understand that, Kili. It's a fine night for just sitting."

Kili wasn't sure how to explain – whether he should explain to a potential future owner – that he and Fili just enjoyed simply being, not doing.

"Your home was nice, M-Bilbo," Fili changed the subject. "What do you do, back in the Shire?"

Bilbo leaned back against a nearby stump. "We do a lot of things back home. Dancing, feasting, gardening. It's a simple life, but it's a good one."

Kili could dream. He could imagine himself preparing food with Fili (or maybe helping Bilbo do it – they probably weren't good enough to organise a feast), weeding and planting outside. He remembered the morning inside the hobbit hole, and thought of all the painting and cleaning they could do in there. Maybe Fili could even remember how to repair some of the hobbits metal tools, or something.

It was a good, safe dream.

"I'd love to take you there, sometime," Bilbo said after the silence. Fili tensed again.

"You would?"

Kili could hear the hopefulness in his brother's voice. Was Bilbo saying that he'd…

"Of course, we've got to get you dwarves home, first."

Home.

Home was the first settlement in the Blue Mountains, the little hole in the wall were Adad and Amad lived. Home was where they both felt safe and wanted.

The only good part about going to Erabor was that hopefully things might be better there. Maybe there'd be better food, more servants to do part of the work. Maybe Master Thorin would be too busy being King Thorin and pass them on to someone else.

Kili nodded. "The contract. We understand Bilbo."

Of course Mister Baggins would have to fulfil his contract first. He promised Master Thorin that he would get him inside the mountain.

"I don't think you do."

"What do you mean, Bilbo?"

Bilbo shifted himself so instead of sitting just on the edge of Kili's line of sight, he could see both of them. He gently took hold of their shoulders and pulled so both boys were facing him. Kili instinctively ducked his head, and knew Fili would have done the same. Even more gently, Bilbo lifted their chins so they were looking at him. Kili swallowed hard. 'Look me in the eye' conversations were never pleasant.

"I know you don't like looking at me like this," he said slowly, "I know it's uncomfortable for you but I need to you to see that I mean what I say. I will – I promise – take you to visit the Shire sometime. I promise I will make things better for you. That's all I want."

Fili was shaking again. Kili wanted to hold his hand but wasn't sure if Bilbo would like that or not.

"I'm your friend, Fili, Kili, and I want to help you. Please let me in."

Fili winces, and whines softly.

"What's wrong, dear boy?"

Kili isn't listening anymore. His brain is racing back, twenty years back, to a cold, wet night back home. Where his parents were whispering (they'd being doing that a lot) in their room, and someone they recognised had come to the door.

"I'm your u-, Fili, Kili, and I want to help you. Let me in!"

At least that's what Kili thinks he said. He might not have said "help". But "want", their names and "Let me in!" were all there.

"Fili! Fili!" Bilbo looked ready to shake FIli but for some reason held himself back. "Fili! Are you with us?"

"Yes, Mister Baggins," Fili said softly. His eyes were back on the ground. "I mean, yes Bilbo! Bilbo! Sorry, sir, I…"

Fili's soft but sharp yelping was cut off when Bilbo touched him carefully on the shoulder again. "It's alright Fili. I don't mind. I hope that you feel safe to call me Bilbo, but I won't get upset if you forget." He turned to Kili, who was chewing on his lip watching the scene. "Kili, can you tell me something?"

"Of course, Bilbo. What is it?"

"It's something we do back home – we ask each other questions that are important to us and mean something." Bilbo looked thoughtful. "Here's one: if you could have anything, what would it be? What do you want most in the world?"

Kili sat back and rested on his hands. No one had ever asked him anything like that before, not even when he was small and had time for wondering about such things. But he knew that part of him had hoped for something, something desparate.

"Kili," Fili cut in urgently. "How many ponies do you see?"

Something was wrong.

Kili counted quickly. "There's two missing."

FIli nodded. "That's what I thought. We should have 16 but…"

Bilbo was slower to realise, and by the time he'd finished his count Fili and Kili were already standing up, checking again.

"What's going on?"

They ignored the hobbit, and a quick glance at each other confirmed that what they were seeing was true.

"We have to find them!"

Fili knelt back down. "Yes, we have to find them Bilbo, because if they've wandered off and we've lost them Master Thorin will kill us!"

Kili knew Fili would shrink back later if he remembered speaking to someone like this, but for now he was too worried to care.

"Boys, what if…"

"We'd be better off finding a cliff and jumping," Kili whimpered. All his instincts were telling him to curl up in a ball and hide, but that wouldn't stop anything. "We're going to be in so much trouble…"

Fili grabbed him by the shoulders. "Yes! Yes we are, Kili, but we have to do something!"

I won't let Him hurt you again!

Kili glared at his brother. He knew that this protective instinct just meant Fili got punished more instead of both of them equally, but he was freezing up. All of his natural instincts to plan and fix were failing under the PANIC that was screaming through the front of his head.

Run! Run away! Hurt! Pain! Fili!

"They've probably just wandered off," Bilbo was saying reassuringly. "Tell you what: you two stay here with the others, I'll go off and find them. They can't have gone far. No one else needs to know."

"We'll stay here," Fili said, but Kili wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. The natural leadership that came through just seconds before was fading back to his normal (well, normal for the last two decades) blank mask. But Kili could still see the wide, gaping look in his eyes.

This was bad.

-ooo-

Well, that went well.

Bilbo huffed to himself as he struggled with his sack. In hindsight, he didn't know what he was thinking, charging off after a troll (a TROLL!) when he saw it with a pony. All he could remember was deciding that he couldn't leave it to those poor boys to figure out a solution and then take the blame.

Even though they would now, anyway.

When Bilbo had gotten nabbed the first time, Kili came out of the darkness armed with rocks and tried to rescue him. The two of them had definitely kept the trolls busy until the rest of the Company arrived.

Except for Gandalf. Where was he…

And now, because somehow Thorin decided not to sacrifice Bilbo, the entire group were tied up in sacks ready to be eaten.

Bilbo shifted, and tried to see which dwarf he'd been prodding every time he wriggled.

"Oops, sorry Fili", he whispered. He knew the other dwarves, especially Thorin, couldn't catch him talking comfortably to either of the boys. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Mister Baggins."

"FIli," Bilbo whispered again. "Why did you go get help? I told you to stay back so you would be safe."

"I would rather get punished for my mistake than see you get hurt because of me," Fili returned, equally softly. "I couldn't keep both of us safe. Please forgive me for disobeying."

It broke Bilbo's heart all over again to be reminded that Fili's first thought for "not being safe" was about the dwarves in the Company (or one in particular) rather than the trolls.

"Thank you, I think," Bilbo replied weakly. "And don't worry, you're forgiven."

As uncomfortable as this conversation was, Bilbo was tempted to continue, if only to distract himself from what was happening over by the troll's fire. The trolls were going on and on about eating the dwarves – they even had some of them roasting on the spit!

"Never mind the seasoning; we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away, so let's get a move on. I don't fancy being turned to stone!"

They couldn't be that bright. Even if they had figured out that threatening the smallest (Bilbo) would get the others to surrender. Surely there was some way they could be outsmarted.

Bilbo was getting an idea…

Boo yah, longest chapter yet! Yet still not getting the HTML to work!