Thorin is not my Master.
.
.
.
Kili was almost bouncing in his saddle. It had only taken a relevantly harsh verbal beating from Master Bilbo for Fili to admit it, but it looked like he had finally admitted to himself that maybe things were starting to look up. If Master Bilbo was in charge, hopefully they'd keep getting to eat good food and be treated like the others.
He knew he couldn't be too hard on his brother – he'd been protecting them both by being careful for decades – but it meant Fili usually didn't see the positive side of anything. Like when a bear attacking the settlement meant they were locked inside a cupboard and didn't have to work that day.
But Fili had always felt that they had to be with Master Thorin or else they might get in more trouble.
He was starting to twitch and jump at every sudden movement or loud noise. And Kili could see his brother hunching his shoulders now the way he did when he was expecting a punishment.
"Fee," he said softly in Khuzdul. Fili started.
"Kee?"
They had been forbidden from calling each other these names years ago. But Kili was through with following the rules just to keep his brother comfortable.
"It's alright to hope again Fee," he said firmly. "It's alright to trust someone again. Things are going to get better from here."
Fili looked away.
"Fee, I can't do this without you! Give me something to know you're still with me!"
The last wall between Fili and his brother fell down when Fili closed his eyes. "They have taken all I have, Kili! I've given and lost everything! I haven't had hope or trust for as long as I can remember. I don't even properly remember the last time I felt afraid or worried. I just have nothing left!"
Kili grabbed his brother roughly by the shoulders and forced him to look up. "You have me Fili! They have taken everything from us except each other! Have hope for us! Trust me, even if you don't feel you can trust Master Bilbo yet!" Fili didn't respond, but his brother shook him. "I'm not losing you now Fili – not after everything."
He pulled Fili closer so he could bump their heads together. "Always remember: you're not along Fee. You and me, always, to the end."
.
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-ooo-
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The Company were sitting around the fire after a long day's riding. Kili had been hanging awkwardly near the tree line watching the others, not sure what he should be doing when Master Bilbo pulled him aside and told him that Thorin was somewhere on the eastern side of the clearing but he couldn't find Fili. Kili had nodded and waited until his Master had moved back to the fire (after promising that he would join him soon) then started back into the trees.
Kili moved silently with the ease of long practice through the woods. In the back of his mind somewhere he had a memory of tracking a wild boar through a forest near Erud Luin. But that was before….
.
Thorin.
.
He was sitting with his back against a tree and his hands out of sight, probably tied behind him. He was slumped back, but his eyes were just as fierce as any day Kili cared to remember. He always looked that way when either of them, but especially Fili.
Like right now, when Fili was standing right in front of him.
.
Suddenly Kili felt like all the normal night sounds of a forest had gone silent. Fili and Thorin could have been staring each other down for hours in total quiet. But Fili wasn't hunched or shaking like he usually did when Thorin was staring at him with that dark, searching look like normal.
He didn't look like normal.
He looked like he did before. When he was the heir.
.
Kili didn't want to break the moment, but he had to know.
He stepped forward.
At once both sets of eyes turned towards the movement. Thorin's eyes immediately flicked between the two of them, like he was trying to process this change, but Fili's eyes dropped down submissively.
Kili held himself together. His brother had always watched him for appropriate (read: less likely to be punishable) behaviour around their Master. But maybe this meant Fili…
He slid over to his brother and gently pushed their foreheads together.
"Brother," he repeated, "You are not alone."
Fili nodded, and almost looked confident again.
Thorin suddenly looked at Kili.
"Brother? Kili, is that…" They could see him taking in their rough clothes and still healing wounds. "What happened? Are your parents alright? Where's Dwalin? Where are we?"
Kili had no idea why Thorin was suddenly looking panicked and concerned – he knew exactly what happened to them! Fili had recoiled violently at the sound of his voice, and all the courage Kili had seen through the trees vanished. He had no idea how long his brother was able to stare their Master down (Thorin is not my Master), but the fact he was able to stand before him had to mean some progress, right?
"Kili? Fili, what's… I order you to tell me what's going on!"
There was suddenly a timbre in Thorin's voice, one that seemed to have appeared out of the darkness. Automatically Fili dropped to his knees and pulled Kili down with him.
"Tell me!"
Fili flinched at the tone. Kili, who had felt so confident when he was merely watching the scene found himself caught. Fili's grip was keeping him down low, but the weight of two decades couldn't be ignored either.
Master Bilbo wants us! He said so!
Master Bilbo isn't here right now, is he?
I will not thrall myself to Thorin any longer! He abandoned us and we deserve a second chance!
Abandoned? That's a pretty word for theft! Your Master deserves your service and it is you who have abandoned him.
I promised myself I wouldn't kneel before him again…
You belong here. You are better here. You are safer here. With your Master…