It finally happened. A wave of extreme emotion filled my gut and I threw up. I've been sitting on the bathroom floor for fifteen minutes at the air port, Gretchen standing over me, holding my hair. I started crying. I was feeling so many things and none of them were happy and they were so overwhelming that I couldn't keep my lunch down.

"Spin, if we hold off any longer, I'm going to miss my flight," Gretchen sighed.

I coughed into the toilet and sat up. Gretchen handed me some toilet paper and I wiped my mouth.

"Mint?" She offered a small round tin of mints.

"Thanks," I took one and popped it in my mouth. "Sorry, it's just, you're the last one..."

"Spinelli, stop. This whole thing has to stop. We all know last year would be the last normal year for us. We all agreed we wouldn't change too much, but we need to grow up. We're adults, you're having a baby and getting married. Out of all of us who needs to grow up, it's you. And you should be damn lucky TJ is such an amazing guy. Not everyone will stay with their girls when they find out they're pregnant. Don't take him for granted." Gretchen turned in the stall and left, leaving me on the bathroom floor.

Her words were like a slap to the face. Grow up? Don't take TJ for granted? And then leave me here?! I couldn't control my feelings. Everyone has left and I'm stuck in this Podunk town with a baby that I'm not sure how I'm going to pay for.

I left the bathroom and found Gretchen with TJ by the security line. Thanks to 911, TJ and I can't go further than here without a plane ticket.

"Wish me luck," Gretchen grinned. She hoisted her backpack over her shoulder and gave me a quick hug and turned to get in line. That was it.

"We got into an argument," I said quietly in the truck on our way back home. TJ glanced in my direction and then back to the road.

"About what?"

"Nothing important. It was stupid." I held my hands on my stomach where a nice sized pudgy shape started to form.

"Call her when she lands. If it was nothing, it'll be like you guys never fought." TJ patted my leg and gave me a smile. We drove for two more hours in silence.

When I got home, I laid on my bed and turned on the TV. I only got local channels so I switched on the news, maybe something interesting happened. Maybe something...good?

"-and we follow with a tragic breaking story here of Fox News," The anchor woman sitting at her desk on my TV seemed like she had been crying. "Flight 1425 leaving Seattle to Boston has gone down. No word on what caused the plane crash, but I have heard that there are no survivors from the incident." They cut the camera when the anchor woman burst into hysterical tears and sobs. I couldn't move. Seattle to Boston? Flight 1425?

I grabbed my phone and called TJ.

"Hey, do you remember the flight number Gretchen took?" I asked. I heard my voice shake.

"Yeah, why?"

"Please just tell me," I started to cry.

"Spin, what's going on?"

"Just tell me the damn flight number!"

"1425, now what-" I hung up and dropped my phone. I'm going to be sick...

I grabbed my waste bucket and threw up and then dry-heaved for fifteen minutes. I screamed at the top of my lungs and sobbed. No survivors. That was Gretchen's plane. No survivors. No. Survivors. I screamed again and my mom ran into my room. I couldn't hear anything, just white noise. Mom was yelling at me and I couldn't figure out what she was saying. I couldn't control my body and I continued to scream and cry and managed to get the message to Mom that something happened to Gretchen's plane. She took me in her arms and held me as I cried. My dad came into my room and my mom said something and he took off down the hallway. I couldn't focus. All I could think was that my best friend was gone for good and the last thing she said to me was that I was selfish. My heart was literally breaking and dying. I've have never known pain until this moment here.

TJ showed up next to me at some point, I'm not sure when and pulled me onto his lap and cradled me. I'm positive he was trying to be brave for me, but I know deep down he's just as upset as me, after all, he's know Gretchen as long as I have.

He kept repeating that he was sorry and that it shouldn't have been her.

"It seemed to have been a computer malfunction that was overlooked during inspection." My father told us. We were piled in my room because I didn't want to leave. I couldn't leave. This was the last place Gretchen and I had any type of fun in. I can't let that go. "She was recovered from the wreckage and her parents is having a private family service that you two are certainly invited to and are actually asked to say something about Gretchen."

I felt numb and broken. This isn't suppose to happen to me.

"But if you don't want to go or if you don't want to say anything, that's okay too, sweetie." Mom said, putting her hand on my shoulder. I started to cry again. I just don't know what to do now. How am I suppose to apologize for being such a brat to her?