I kept breathing. In. Out. In. Out.
"Here you go," Nick showed up with a wheelchair and helped me sit down. I pulled out my cell phone and called TJ.
"Spin? Where are you?" His voice was cracked and hazy. It could have been the poor reception.
"TJ, I need you to listen, I was out unwinding with a friend, and then my water broke." I yelled into the phone, just to make sure he heard me right.
"What? Where are you at?"
"Harborview Medical Center."
"Give me an hour, don't have Charlie without me. Did you call your mom?"
"Yes, she's getting dressed and will be picking you up in a few minutes." I started to cry. It was too early. What if I don't make it? What if Charlie doesn't make it?
"Spin, it'll be okay." TJ's voice was so certain, that it actually made me feel better.
"Just get here, you goof." I hung up the phone and threw my head back. "Fuck."
"Ashley Spinelli?" A nurse aproached me with a smile and a clipboard. "I will be your nurse for the evening. We're going to run some tests and make sure this is a real labor and not a false one. We're also going to do a stress test and make sure the baby is okay. After the tests, we can then determine whether or not it is safe to have the baby today or if we need to stop the labor."
Stop the labor? Can they do that?
The nurse grabbed the wheelchair handles and pushed me into the maternity ward. Nick started to follow when the nurse stopped him.
"Are you the father?"
"No, but I-"
"Only immidate family." She said with a frown.
"It's okay. The father won't be here for a while and I can't do this alone. Please?" I started to cry again. Nick ran to my side and took my hand.
"You will be okay. I will go with you if that is what you want." He brushed my black hair out of my eyes and cupped my cheek.
"If you're okay with it Ashley, then I guess no harm, but you need to sign into the front desk and get a pass." The nurse looked down at Nick. "We will be in room three-o-five." She then pushed me away from Nick and through a couple of doors.
"Does the father know about him?" The nurse asked.
I was so shocked about how foward she was that I couldn't say anything.
"Excuse me?" I finally mustered up the words to talk.
"I just noticed that-"
"You have no right." I hissed.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cross a line." The nurse sighed. "Here we are," She pressed a button on the wall and room 305 door opened wide up. "Let me get you a fresh warm gown to change into," She opened a cupboard and pulled out some cloths and turned back to me. "Lets get you dressed."
The nurse helped me out of the chair and walked me to the bathroom.
"If you need any help, please call for me," she closed the bathroom door and left me.
I was alone for the first time tonight. Alone with my thoughts and clothes. I kissed Nick. I cheated on TJ. I betrayed so many people in just a matter of moments, and the guilt was so overwhelming, I almost didn't feel the pain of labor. I'm going to break TJ's heart when I tell him what I did. And that's not the worse part. I'm going to have to tell him how I really feel about this. How we rushed in too quickly, how I know he's pushing me away but only staying with me because of Charlie. I know he doesn't look at me the same way, more like a sister than anything. I'm not his lover any more. Just a person carrying his child.
You know that is not the case.
I know he loves me. But not the way he tells me, if he tells me.
An image popped into my head, TJ and me at Junior Prom. The image of us dancing. He shaved his beard and I combed my hair and wore a dress for the first time in my life. It was the perfect moment. A moment I have never relived. Isn't that what being married is all about? Cherishing each moment like it's the last? TJ doesn't love me, and I'm okay with that, because I know he doesn't love me.
"Are you okay?"
Nick was sitting at the windowsill of the room, look at me with his charming green eyes. His bright orange hair in shambles from the craziness of the concert and chaos of getting me here.
"Yeah," I replied. "Why?"
"I'm sorry." Nick looked down at his hands, sadness washed over his face.
I sat up.
"I shouldn't have kissed you. You're going through a rough time with your fiancé and I altered your feelings." He looked up and stared outside. "I have never been one to get along with people very well. No one seems to want to put up with me."
"What makes you think I can?" I chuckled.
Nick smirked, but it faded quickly.
"I shouldn't have put you in this predicament." He sighed.
"There's one thing you should know about me Nick. I wouldn't have done what I did if I didn't feel it was right. TJ isn't in love with me anymore and I know that. I will talk to him when he gets here, which, should be any moment now. You should go get something to eat."
He looked up at me, surprised.
"What?"
"You don't want me to leave?"
"Are you kidding? If TJ freaks out and leaves me, I'll be stuck with my mom. I'm going to need someone and right now, that someone is you."
"Would you have guessed we would be here when we first met?"
I thought back to the day I met Nick Riley and smiled. I nearly stabbed him with a kitchen knife.
"Ha, no. Now go eat. TJ will be here soon and I need to tell him everything."
"Okay," Nick stood up and walked to the door. He turned and grinned. "Stay safe." Then he was gone, and I was alone, again, feeling guilt and labor pains.