After spending all night crying over Lucas, Peyton finally realized that her daughter had never come home. She had called Audrey when she had gotten in, so she could tell her daughter the truth before anyone else got to her, and had ended up leaving a message, because Audrey hadn't answered, but she hadn't expected her daughter to stay out all night, even if she was angry, she had never stayed out all night without calling before.
With that in mind, Peyton called her daughter countless times before sunrise, all to the same result: Audrey's phone was off. Peyton realized that this was different than any other time her daughter had been mad at her, and she decided to give it another few hours before doing anything more. She knew the cops would only tell her that they couldn't do anything anyway, and Audrey always came home when she was ready.
Deciding to just wait her daughter out, at least until it had been long enough that she could call the police, if it came to that, Peyton turned on her music, and laid on her bed, trying to stop the flow of tears that didn't want to stop. She could understand Lucas not wanting anything to do with her. She had, after all, done a pretty bad thing to him, but she had had her reasons the whole time. She hoped that he might understand that, one day.
While she waited for her Audrey to come home, Peyton had to convince herself not to go to Lucas and beg him to forgive her. She knew she had to give him time, and it wouldn't be easy for him to ever forgive her, and she wasn't going to throw away her pride and dignity just yet, even though a big part of her just wanted to say screw her pride, and call up Lucas and cry and beg for forgiveness.
Knowing Lucas, she had to wait for him to be ready, not the other way around. She wasn't even sure he ever would be ready to take her back, and she knew she would have to accept it if it came to that, and she'd just have to remember that he'd given her the best month of her life, and that might be the only month of true, unabashed happiness that she ever got. She had to leave the ball in Lucas's court, and maybe one day she'd get to be that happy again.
As she thought about what the future was going to hold, she realized that she was going to have to answer everyone's questions about the truth, now, and she was going to have to be completely honest. She was going to tell Audrey the whole story first, whenever she got home, and then she would have to tell Lucas, whenever he was ready for that, and then she would have to answer everyone else's questions as well.
The worst part of that wasn't what everyone was going to think of her. She knew they would all forgive her eventually, and accept the reasons she had, because she knew that was just the kind of friends she had. She was dreading bringing up that part of her life again, and having to remember how hard it had been. She would do it all again in an instant, but that doesn't mean it hadn't been hard, having absolutely no support at all.
Before she could realize how much time had passed, it was getting to be late afternoon, and she realized she must had fallen asleep for a while. She also realized her daughter still wasn't home, and she was now beginning to get worried. Audrey always at least called, even when she was pissed at Peyton, because she knew that Peyton would freak out and call the police, and get everyone stirred up if she heard nothing from her daughter.
First, she called Sean, and it wasn't until the conversation wore on that she remembered that something had happened between her daughter and Sean, and because of that, he didn't know where she was. She called Haley and Karen, and neither of them knew anything either, which caused Peyton's worry to rise even more. She called Logan, too, but his phone must have been off, too.
With her worry reaching it's peak, Peyton did the one thing that she had not been wanting to do, especially not this soon: she called Lucas. She hurriedly explained what was going on, her worry causing strain to leak into her voice, and tears to slip down her cheeks. She didn't need to finish the whole explanation before Lucas had said he would be there soon, and she heard the click of the line being disconnected.
It wasn't until then that she realized that there had been distance in his voice and she tried not to dwell on that, because she had enough other things to worry about. She hoped that she could be as distant as he was apparently going to be, and she realized she was going to have to focus solely on Audrey, unless he wanted to talk about the past, or she was going to lose her self-control.
Jumping into the shower really quickly, she tried to get rid of the evidence that she had done nothing but cry over him all night, putting on fresh clothes, make-up to cover up the bags under her eyes, and pulling her now-wet curls into a pony tail. She didn't want him to know how hard this was on her, because she wanted him to take her back, if he ever did, because he wanted to, not out of pity or obligation.
When he arrived, she had put on a pot of coffee, because she wasn't sure what else to offer him, and she offered him some tuna salad she had made because she hadn't eaten anything all day, though she didn't mention that to him. He remained distant, only replying when she asked him a direct question, or asking something pertaining to Audrey. She almost wished he would act angry, instead of indifferent to her.
After she had eaten, they went to the living room, and she held a cup of coffee in her hands, just so she had something to do with them as they both waited, silence encompassing the living room. She was getting ready to call the cops, but she knew that since Audrey was angry with her, and she hadn't really been missing for 24 hours, they would do nothing, and she didn't want to waste time on the phone with someone who wouldn't understand.
As the time slowly dragged on, Peyton thought that she was going to go insane with the silence. She wished she knew what he was feeling, but he kept his face emotionless. She wished he would yell at her, ask her questions, anything. She didn't say that, though. "She's never done this before. She never stayed out all night, not without calling me stayed out of the house this long before, even if she only came home for a minute to get something and leave again," she murmured.
For a minute, Lucas didn't say anything, and she wondered if he planned on just ignoring her the whole time. She was going to go crazy if he did. He ran his hand over the back of his neck, staring at nothing. "You straight up lied to me, Peyton, when you told me she wasn't mine. Why did you do that?" he asked, still keeping his eyes trained on anything but her.
Hearing the disappointment in his voice, she realized that maybe this wasn't any better than the indifference, but then she knew that some emotion was better than none, even if the disappointment hurt. She winced, but he couldn't see it, because he still wasn't looking at her. She had also heard the little bit of anger in his voice, beneath the other emotions. She decided to draw from that, instead of anything else.
Since she had been trying to figure out a response to a similar question to that all day, she should have had an answer ready. She didn't, really, she just had to say what she felt. "I didn't know this was going to happen, Lucas. At the time, I thought it was the best thing. I didn't know if you were really back here for good. I didn't want to change everything, throw everyone's life into upheaval, only to have you disappoint her by leaving again," she said calmly, wishing she hadn't used those words.
Closing his eyes, she could tell he was controlling his anger, and she wished he would just let it out. They would never get past this if he didn't let all his emotions out. Repression wasn't going to help anyone. He took a deep, forcibly even breath. "Why didn't you tell me the truth way back then, Peyton? We never would have been in this situation at all if you had," he spoke in the detached voice that had plagued her since she had called him.
Allowing herself to let a little anger to slip into her voice, because this was what had hurt her, and she was going to tell him the honest, brutal truth. "How was I to know what you would do, Lucas. At the time I found out about her, you were gone, moved on to your new life. I didn't know what you would do with the news. All I knew was that you had abandoned me without word and I didn't want you to do the same thing to my baby," she shot back.
This time, he couldn't resist looking at her, and she saw the flash of emotion in his eyes, and she was almost glad she had got him to feel something, even if she knew the words would hurt her in the end, she knew he would need to say them, and she was willing to sacrifice her emotions to allow him to become at peace with this. It was hard to remember that when she saw the anger in his blue eyes, directed at her, though.
Focusing on his words instead of his eyes, she realized that didn't help, but she tried to keep her emotions off of her face. "You honestly think I would have turning you away, or something? You really think that little of me? I thought you knew me better than that, Peyton," he stared into her eyes, the blue boring into her green, trying to read emotion she didn't want to let him see.
Though she was pretty sure she was keeping her emotions locked up, she could feel the tears welling in her eyes, and though she didn't break the eye contact because of them, she knew that he did. He ran a hand through his hair and she wondered if he just couldn't bear seeing the tears, or if he couldn't bear looking at her period. The anger that had been in his voice made her unsure.
As she fought to control those tears, she waited for him to gain control of his temper. "I was alone, Lucas, and scared. I didn't know what to think, or what you were thinking. For all I knew, you had a girlfriend, and a life you wouldn't want to give up. You hadn't called me since we had sex. What did you expect me to think?" she left out that she had felt used, turning away from his back turned to her, crossing her arms around her middle so she wouldn't comfort him like she ached to.
Running his hand through his hair, he heard the desperation in her voice, and knew she was trying to make him understand. He blew out a sigh. He wasn't sure he could understand. "I expected you to tell me the truth, Peyton, always. I expected you to be honest with me, especially about something like that. This would have changed everything. How could you not understand that?" his voice was softer, but exasperated.
Turning, she saw his blue eyes staring down at her imploringly, but she wasn't going to meekly let this one go. He had a lot of right to be angry, she could admit that, but she was not going to stand there and judge her. He had absolutely no idea what she had went through, how long she had agonized over the decision, how many nights she had laid in bed after making it, wishing she could take it back.
Pointing her finger at him, her green eyes flashed with anger. "Don't you dare, Lucas Scott. Damnit, don't you dare stand there and judge me. You may not understand, but I gave up my whole life. Maybe it was the wrong decision, according to you, but there was not one moment I didn't do what I thought was best for my daughter, not one decision I made without her in mind," she paused, but she wasn't done.
With what she felt was righteous anger she went on. "I gave up everything, sacrificed my life, my friends, people who were like family to me, while you were off doing God knows what. You ran away, Lucas, from me, from everything. I didn't know what you would do. I can't change what I did, but I never once did anything that wasn't for my daughter," she broke off, letting the anger die down as she looked away again.
Before he could think of it, he stepped forward, and just as he was going to reach out to comfort her, he seemed to realize what he was doing, and he dropped his hand and stepped back again. She saw this in her peripheral vision, and she closed her eyes as he stepped back. He wouldn't get over this, she knew, and even if he did still love her, she wasn't sure he could forgive her.
There was silence for a while as Peyton waited for whatever he was going to do next. He seemed to be contemplating whether he wanted to continue this conversation now or not. "I guess it's not really important right now. I don't think we're done with this conversation, but we both need to cool down," he finally said, then changed the subject to the present instead of the past.. "She's not answering her phone?" he asked.
Grasping at the change of subject, she decided to call again. She grabbed her phone, but before she could dial the number, the front door opened, and both of them looked towards the entrance as Audrey, as if being called by their thoughts, sauntered in, followed by Logan. "Good, you're both here," she said, before either of them could say anything. Logan stood behind her, in a way that made it clear he wished she hadn't made him come inside.
Both of her parents were surprised by her take charge attitude, and her statement, and neither could form any sentences before she went on. She addressed her mother first. "I am filing for emancipation, on the grounds that you've lied to me my whole life, and you've always been so busy working, and I just can't deal living with a liar anymore," she said, keeping her face emotionless, as she crushed her mother's world.
Turning to her father, she paused a moment, as if bracing herself for this part, but she didn't hesitate long enough for anyone but Logan to notice, and their definitely wasn't enough time for anyone else to speak. "You, as far as I'm concerned, aren't my father, and have no say. You're little more than a stranger to me, except for the fact that you've been dating my mom for a month," she declared, still keeping her face a blank page.
For a moment, neither of Audrey's parents could speak, as they both tried to decide if she could do what she had said she was going to do. Peyton couldn't believe this was happening. What does one say when your teenaged daughter renounces you as her parent, just says she doesn't want you anymore, and that's that? "You can't do that. Lucas, tell her she can't do that," Peyton pleaded, hoping Lucas could find a solution.
Looking just as perplexed as Peyton, he tore his gaze from the teenager he had just found out belonged to him, except that she didn't want him, to look at said teenager's mother. "Did you bother putting me on the birth certificate?" he asked, grasping at the only solution he could think of. He didn't know what else could possibly work, unless they had proof, such as a birth certificate, that he was her father.
Shaking her head, Peyton bit her lip, trying to stop the tears that wanted to fall. She couldn't believe now that she had left him off the birth certificate, and she wished she hadn't been such a stupid teenager. He looked back at Audrey, meeting her blue eyes that were a mirror image of his. "Then I think she can do that," he finally said with a frown, not looking back at Peyton, but keeping his gaze locked with his daughters.
Nodding, the young blonde regarded both of them with her blank gaze. "I can, and I am. There really is no proof you're my dad, except her word," she gestured to her mother, "and she's lied before. As far as I'm concerned, that could be a lie, too. You can tell everyone what you want, but I'd prefer that no one else was told this lie. The other one has been believable thus far," she added the last part, while looking at Peyton coldly.
Seeming to realize she was allowing emotion to slip into the confrontation, Audrey reigned in her emotions again, schooling her expression and pulling every bit of emotion from it. "I'm going to stay with Logan until the court proceedings are over, and then I'm going to use the money I get from working to get my own apartment. I'll be finding a different job. Consider this my two weeks notice," she said, since she had meant to start working at Tric after school.
Still keeping the conversation on her terms, Audrey continued laying out her plan. "I'm taking most of my stuff now, everything I can fit in my car and Logan's SUV, and I'll get around to getting the rest of it when I can," she said, finally finished. She sent her mom a last look, in which she nearly broke as she saw the pain and pleading in Peyton's eyes. She managed to keep strong, though, telling herself it was for the best, as she left the living room to start getting her stuff.
Without a last glance at Lucas, she went past Logan, leading the way to her bedroom. "Logan," Peyton said before he could turn and follow Audrey. He finally brought his gaze off the floor, to meet Peyton's gaze. Peyton had always liked Logan. She knew about his feelings for her daughter, even if Audrey had always been blind to it. "Take care of her," she said, glad Audrey was staying with him.
Both of them heard Audrey call for him, but Peyton wouldn't let him go without hearing the verbal confirmation, even if she knew that he would take the best care of her. "Sure, Peyton, of course," he promised with a nod. Audrey called for him a second time, and this time Peyton let him go, not watching as he disappeared. She sank onto the couch, holding her head in her hands. Lucas sat next to her, neither moving as the teenagers moved Audrey's stuff out of the house.
When the front door closed, Peyton realized that Audrey was going to leave without saying anything else. She jumped to her feet and ran to the door, pulling it open as she reached it. She saw Audrey standing on the front porch and before her daughter could protest, she pulled her into a hug. "Be safe, baby girl. I love you always, never, ever forget that," she whispered, feeling the tears falling down her cheeks.
Nodding against her mom's shoulder, Audrey finally pulled away. She turned to walk away, but stopped on the steps. She turned and met her mother's gaze. "I love you," she said softly, but Peyton heard it. The words didn't stop the tears at all, but instead caused them to fall even harder. She watched Audrey get in her car and drive away, and then her daughter was gone.
Unable to even get back inside, Peyton collapsed on the porch as the sobs consumed her. She knew that Audrey wasn't going to stop until she had things the way she wanted. She never stopped when she was strongly convicted, and she had a case, as much as Peyton wished she didn't. She couldn't believe her baby was only 16 and moving out already. She wished she had never moved back to Tree Hill. She wished Lucas had never moved back.
Before she realized what was going on, she felt Lucas's arms around her, and despite wanting to hate him, and blame all of this on him, she let him comfort her because right now, he was the only one who could, and she knew it changed nothing. She had let him go, and unless he came back to her, that was how it was going to stay. She also knew they would follow Audrey's wishes. No one would know he was her father. They were both mourning for that right then, before they had to compose themselves and begin spinning the web of lies.