(Yoshi! The angst is back. Kind of. Not really. I guess I feel antsy. The jumpy, happy kind of anticipation. So maybe it is not so angst-filled, anyway... read and comment.)
(意欲)
Kurosaki Ichigo unwillingly broke away from the soft, plump lips that was not responding to his passionate advances.
He gazed confusingly upon the beautiful face that has loved him for so long and has given him so much.
More than what she has always wanted to seek from him in return.
Her soft brown eyes were no longer looking at him with the gentleness of love for him.
Instead they glowed.
They seemed to burn with fiery hatred.
He heard the sound of her hand on his face before his cheek registered the pain.
"Hime?!"
The sting to his deserving face was nothing compared to the painful blow to his hopeful heart.
Inoue Orihime pushed at the chest of the man she has sworn to love forever and always.
His grip was too strong.
He was not going to let her go so easily.
But she still tried.
She pushed and pounded desperately, hopelessly on his chest when she could not escape from the overbearing, intoxicating presence tthat was once her 'Kurosaki-kun'.
"Please let me go, Kurosaki-kun." She pleaded softly with him as her tears came rolling down her warm flushed cheeks.
The blows to his chest mirrored her voice. They were getting weaker and weaker till they stopped altogether.
"Why won't you just let me go?"
Ichigo's cold hardened heart furthered thawed a little by little with the princess' plaintive plea.
He wrapped his strong arms tighter around the trembling woman.
"Why should I let you go, Hime?" He whispered against her ear.
The small shivering hands clenched onto the front of his shirt and the sobbing princess' truthful repeat of what was hurtfully said came back to haunt him.
"But you had already decided to not want me to be a part of your life, remember?" She reminded him, tearfully.
"I know. I fucking know." He muttered in regret as he cuddled the non-struggling auburn-haired beauty closer to him.
He breathed in the floral fragrance emitting from her shimmering hair that was exquisitly hers.
He has missed the reassuring scent that always put him at ease.
He missed having her in his arms.
He missed having her in his sorry life.
He enjoyed the calming silence with the girl who has loved him in his arms.
He felt her slight movement on his chest before he heard the unwanted words drifting to his ears.
"K-Kurosaki-s..." He heard a soft resigned sigh before, "Kurosaki-kun, what are we doing?"
How was he going to answer her when he himself did not know the answer himself.
"I don't know, Hime." He told her honestly before what he did next took her completely by surprise. One of his hands went to the back of her knees, whilst the other moved up to her back as he scooped her up and carried her in his strong arms.
Her grip on his shirt tightened. Her bright brown eye glanced nervously at him.
"K-Kurosaki-kun?"
He did not answer her fear.
Instead, he carried her easily towards the couch and sat himself down with her still in his arms. He placed her gently on his lap. He wrapped his arms, possessively, around her waist.
Orihime glanced anxiously, guiltily at him.
"We should not be doing this." She told him and once again she struggled to get away from him.
Ichigo grimaced.
She was hitting all the right spots at the wrong time.
"Stop trying to get away from me, Hime. You are making it worse. Stop it or else..." He warned her.
"Or else what? I did not ask for you to carry me and placed me on your lap. She retorted angrily.
Her honey brown eyes sparkled like twinkling stars, her heart-shaped face flushed a rosy shade of red and the angry expression was making her even more...
"You look beautiful, Hime."
"What?!" Orihime was puzzled. Just what was he trying to do. And so, yet again, she attempted to free herself from him.
"Hime. Stop it!" He raised his voice at her.
"Let me go and I will stop." And the unsuccessful endeavor continued, till she felt it.
She stopped moving.
She stared at him in disbelief and her hands on his chest fisted up his shirt in frustration.
"So, you felt it too. You always aroused the 'beast' in me, Hime." He has the nerve to grin cockily at her.
Orihime felt the re-emerging simmering anger overcoming any tiny shred of dormant affection she has for him.
"Why is it always about that? Well, congratulations. You had it, but you sure as hell am not ever going to get it from me anymore." She told him brashly.
Ichigo was slightly taken aback by the words coming from his sweet princess's mouth. What happened to the bashful, blushing angel who will never say such words.
"But, it was never really all about that." He protested, weakly, taking in her angry flustered face. He really wished it was all about that because he absolutely wanted her as of now.
She must have read correctly the ardent desire in his eyes for she glared at him. "No? Then why after you have taken from what was most precious to me, you threw me away like a used tissue." She accused him vehemently.
"Hime..." He began to explain.
"No! No more of your damn lies! And stop calling me Hime. I told you I am and was never your 'Hime'!"
His eyes grew bigger. How could this be the former idol of their school? The gracious, polite princess.
Taking advantage of the shock she has given him, finding his hold on her slackened, Orihime pushed against Ichigo and she freed herself from the man she has once loved more than life itself when she was a romantic young girl.
Well, this girl has grown up. Thanks to him and his cruel treatment of her. But alas, this girl was still a clumsy woman. Orihime stumbled and fell to her knees as she escaped from Ichigo.
"Hime!" She is and will always be his 'Hime', regardless of what he has been told. He rushed to help her.
"No!" She looked at him with eyes brightened with her unshed, unwanted tears. "Don't help me. Don't come near me." Her bright eyes pleaded with him. "In fact, why don't you just get the damn hell out of my life. I am happy... I am truly very happy with the life I have now." The voice started out strong and the gaze was steely, but then it softened and a few drops of tears escaped and began their sad journey down her burning cheeks.
He heard the words. He knew he was the cause of her tears. But he sure as damn hell was not going to do as he was told by a furious princess. Now that she was back in his life again.
He gently lifted her to her feet. "Don't cry, Hime."
She glared at him and messily wiped away the evidence of her sorrow from her face with her small shaking hands. "I am not crying."
He has to smile at her defiance. "Hime." And a hand reached out to touch her face.
Orihime smacked it away before it could make contact, "I told you, you do not have the right to call me that anymore. Have you become so goddamn fu... "
"Orihime!" He forcefully pulled her towards him and he wrapped his strong arms around her. He did not want to hear such vile words coming from her mouth.
"Let go of me!" She struggled against his embrace.
He held her closer and tighter. He buried his face in her hair. "What happen to you? What happen to the sweet, innocent girl I l... I knew." He murmured in her hair.
Orihime pushed against him, hard. Forcing him to relinquish his place among her scented hair. She poked her finger at him. She looked up at him. "You. Kurosaki Ichigo. You are 'What happen to me'. In fact," Her eyes glowed, "I should thank you." And she, using all of her strength pushed herself free from him.
She took a few steps away from him and bowed.
"Thank you, Kurosaki-san." Her long flowing hair shielded her face from him but he heard the uncontrollable sobs and then the tears hit the ground from where she was bowing at him. "Thank you for making me what I am today. Thank you, Kurosaki-sen... "
And once again, he pulled her towards him and he swallowed her sobbing and her unwanted, uncalled for gratitude.
He kissed her.
He kissed her, passionately.
The small hands which have been pushing at his chest, turned into tiny fists and they began to pound desperately, helplessly at the unyielding wall.
One of Ichigo's hand unconsciously went to the back of her head, the rough hand, tangling itself with the silky hair, the other hand moved to the small of her back and he pressed her even closer to him.
The tiny pale fists continued with their fight for freedom,
The door opened,
"Hime, are you... What the fucking... " Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez's murderous rage was second only to his desire for the struggling princess to be free from the one who has hurt her the most.
"Get your fucking hands off her!" He warned before he personally removed the arms that were holding his princess captive.
"Hime, are you alright?" Grimmjow looked in concern at the trembling woman in his arms. One look at her and he understood why the orange-haired bastard could not keep his hands off her. He quickly brushed away that insane thought when the alluring woman clenched at his shirt, "Grimmy-kun, I am sorry. I am so sorry." She wept into his chest.
Grimmjow held her close as he rubbed her back and gave a comforting kiss on the top of her head. "Hush, mi ángel. It's alright." He cooed softly at her. "It's going to be alright. It's not your fault. It was never your fault, bebé. It was... " Grimmjow lifted his head and glared murderously at Ichigo,
"It's all your fucking fault! Now get the fuck out of my face before you are carried out, you piece of worthless shit!" If not for the weeping princess in his arms, the furious blue-haired bartender would not have given Ichigo the choice to walk out on his own two feet.
Ichigo was glad for the confrontation. He wanted to beat the crap out of the blue-haired bastard who has stolen his princess from him. He glanced at the crying beauty in his arms. He wanted to do something, anything, for her to not be in the arms of another man. He licked his lips. He could still taste her, but he wanted more from her and not just a stolen kiss.
"You want to make me?" He taunted Grimmjow, desperately.
"Why... you fucking..." Grimmjow released his hands from the princess, fully intending 'to make' him, but Orihime held on tight to him and her soft, muffled words cut through their hostilities and...
Stabbed Ichigo's already wounded heart with more painful piercings.
"No, Grimmy-kun. He is not worth it."
That knocked the fight right out of him.
He is not worth it.
How many times has he heard the very same words being said by the princess to calm him down.
'Those bastards made fun of my hair and yours, Inoue.'
'It's fine, Kurosaki-kun. They are not worth you getting angry for.'
'Those fucking arseholes made degrading remarks about you, Orihime.'
'It's alright, Ichigo-kun. It's their mouths. Those are only words. Knowing you care so much about me is good enough for me. They are not worth you beating them up for.'
'Of course I care for you. I care for you very much, Hime.'
'Thank you, Ichi-kun and I love you very much.'
And now he was one of those fucking bastards who was not worth it.
"Hime," He reached out to touch her. He cringed bitterly when he saw her flinched at his light touch and buried herself even deeper within Grimmjow's protective embrace. "Hime..."
"Don't fucking touch her and don't call her that!" Grimmjow answered angrily for the silent princess.
Ichigo ignored Grimmjow. "Hime?" He repeated.
She did not raise her face to answer him instead her sad soft words of, "Just go, Kurosaki-kun. Please just go." was his reply.
And he did.
He hated the sight of his princess in another's arms and yet he could not resist to look at her again as he closed the door.
Maybe she sensed his eyes on her for...
She looked up suddenly as the door was slowly closing and when their eyes met, he found himself falling into those glistening honey brown orbs and before he could read whatever hidden message was behind her bright eyes, the door closed, shut.
Ichigo shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked back to his fellow students.
"Ichigo!" Kuchiki Rukia was the only one who rushed to him and dragged him to their table. "Now, let see your hand." She said in concern as they sat down. She examined his bandaged hand. "Not a bad job for such a big guy." She said patronizingly.
"Huh?" Ichigo snatched back his hand and looked fondly at her work. "Oh, Chad did not do it. It was Hi... Inoue."
"What!"
"You lucky dog. No wonder you were in there for such a long time. Did the two of you 'reminisce' about the good old days?" Abarai Renji suggested playfully.
Ichigo just chose to ignore him.
But not his childhood friend. "Shut up Renji. For all we now she was trying her best to get into Ichigo's pants. People like her." Rukia sneered.
"Kuchiki, if you don't open your mouth, people would not know what a snobbish pain-in-the-ass you really are. So why don't you keep your big mouth closed." Arisawa Tatsuki advised her.
"You..."
"What do you mean by 'people like her' Kuchiki-san?" Kotetsu Isane wanted to defuse the heated situation, not knowing someone else will blow up.
"Oh, you know. Bimbo sluts like her who probably sleep with any..."
"Shut the fuck up, Rukia! Don't you dare say any degrading thing about her!" Ichigo defended his princess.
"Ichigo."
Ignoring the pained expression on her face, he addressed nobody in particular, "Are we leaving?"
"He must have been rejected." Renji whispered to Hisagi Shûhei. Shûhei nodded in agreement and he was sure everybody has noticed the redness to the face as well.
"I will just get the bill." Ishida Uryuu gave a thoughtful look at Ichigo before looking around for a staff member. He spotted Sado Yasutora walking towards them.
"Sado-kun, how much do we own you?"
"It's on the house." Sado replied.
"The princess' treat?" Renji asked hopefully.
Ichigo raised an eyebrow and waited.
"I don't think so. It was Grimmjow who told me but Orihime is with him so maybe she has asked him."
"He's the boss?"
"Big of him."
"Maybe he's trying to impress his girlfriend's former classmates."
"Whatever. It's free"
Sado listened to the questions and sentences floating about and he answered the most important one with his gaze fixed on Ichigo. "Yes, Grimmjow is a really nice guy." He hoped Ichigo has taken the hint.
Ichigo turned to look at the door where his princess was.
"Here Ishida." Sado handed a piece of paper to Ishida. "Orihime asked me to give this to you. You can call her anytime, if you want to catch up, that's what she told me to tell you."
"Wow, her number. And here I thought it was the bill after all. How about you, Ichigo? Did she give you her number?" Renji asked.
"Not likely." Shûhei helpfully answered. "They were not in the sewing club, after all."
Renji laughed and Ichigo got up from his chair. "Are we leaving?"
The rest of them got up as well. One or two of them looked at Ichigo while the others glared at the laughing pineapple.
"Stay in touch, Ichigo."
"You too, Chad." And taking one last lingering look at where his beautiful princess was, Ichigo left.
(いよく)
"I have a headache." Renji groaned as they walked out of the lecture hall.
"Too many big words for you." Rukia asked sweetly.
"Hey! I was not the only nodding off. I thought I caught Ichigo dozing off as well."
"Does your hand still hurt?" Rukia asked.
"No. I just did not get much sleep last night. Thanks for asking." It was sort of an apology for shouting at her last night.
Rukia accepted it gladly and nodded.
"That's not surprising, considering the time you got back." His roommate supplied.
Ichigo glared at Ishida.
"You mean, Ichigo went out again after we returned to the dormitory or did he not go back at all." Renji was curious. "So, did you have a secret rendezvous with a certain auburn-haired princess?" And he wanted answers.
As usual, Ichigo chose to ignore the red-haired busybody.
He indeed went looking for his princess. He stood outside her working place and waited till closing time. He saw her coming out with the blue-haired bastard. He saw them talking to somebody before the door closed. They must be saying goodnight to Chad. They wrapped their arms securely around each other and started walking.
He followed them.
She was talking and he was listening.
That could be him and her.
Then they stopped at a rather big house with white picket fences and they went in, together.
So they were really living together.
And they lived so close to the campus and his dormitory.
Could it be fate?
Cruel fate.
With this information in mind, he began the desolate walk home to his dormitory.
He was fucking relieved it was not raining.
He did not want to imagine what she was doing with him, together in the big house they shared.
And that was why he did not sleep much last night.
But he was not admitting to being falling asleep in class.
"I was bored to tears by the 'gaijin' professor droning on in his bland, emotionless voice. I was not dozing off as stated."
"Ichigo! You can't call the Doctor that. That's derogatory." Tatsuki chided him.
"It's the truth."
"It is the truth." Renji agreed
"I think he's half-Japanese." Isane told them.
"Whatever. The half-Japanese Doctor was boring the shit out of me. I wish somebody else was our sensei instead of such a weird guy."
"Why's he weird?"
But Ichigo chose to keep his personal opinion to himself and kept his mouth shut.
Seeing as to how he was being ignored by the orange-haired scowling sometime friend, Renji turned his attention to the bespectacled friend. He placed an arm around his shoulder, "Uryuu, good friend, best buddy..."
"No. You are not getting Inoue-san's number." Ishida told him, bluntly.
"Uryuu ~ "
And before anything could be spoken by anybody else, a little girl ran right smack onto Ichigo. And bounced a few steps back.
"Hey. Are you alright?" Ichigo squatted down and asked her.
She just stared back at him.
"Wow. Frightened beyond words by your scowling face." Renji joked. He took a careful look at the silent little girl. "This little girl sure is a beauty."
"Renji, you and your gawking of females of all ages." Kira Izuru said in exasperation.
"No. Look really carefully. If not for the striking green eyes, she looks like a mini version of the singing princess."
They looked carefully at the pretty little girl with long shiny red hair, big doe-liked emerald green eyes, a cute button nose, bee-stung lips and a fair snow-white heart-shaped face.
There was a whistle, a chorus of agreement, some of pleasant surprise and one grudgingly acknowledgement.
And all along, the little red hair girl stared intently at Ichigo. Ichigo decided to stand up to avoid the disturbing gaze.
"Fresa!" A somewhat familiar female voice called out.
"Fresa?"
"That's Spanish, I guess."
"It's Spanish for strawberry." Intellectual Ishida informed them.
"Strawberry? What a coincidence? Right, Ichigo?" Renji teased the 'strawberry'.
But nobody was paying any heed of him for coming in search of the small 'strawberry' and appearing in front of them was the singing princess.
"Fresa, there you are. I was so worried." Inoue Orihime bent down to the little girl and wrapped her in a big hug.
"Mami."
"Inoue-san?"
"I-Ishida-kun." Orihime nervously greeted her friend.
If Ishida-kun was here, then... and her frightened eyes met the curious, demanding hard brown eyes of Kurosaki Ichigo.
"Excuse me." A bland, expressionless voice made his presence known.
"Oh, sorry." And the students made way for the newcomer.
"Papi" The little 'strawberry' cried out happily.
"The skunk?"
"No, you idiot. That's Pepé Le Pew and he's French. Papi is Spanish for father." Ishida hissed out his explanation to Renji.
Renji turned to apologize to the parent, just in case he has overheard the straight-from-the-big-mouth remark.
The little girl ran to her father.
"Papi."
"Sorry... Doctor... Cifer?"
(意欲)
"Kurosaki-kun, Kurosaki-kun ~ "
"What is it, Hime?"
"Sorry, Kuro... Ichigo-kun. But I have something important to tell you."
"I too have something to tell you as well. Do you want to go first?"
"No, Ichigo-kun, you can go first."
" ... "
"Ichi-kun?"
"Orihime, do you know the three little words that you so wanted to hear from me?"
"Yes, Ichi-kun?"
"I am afraid you will not be hearing them very soon."
"Why? Is there someone else you... love?"
"What?! No! It's because after graduation, it will be college, then medical school, internship, residency and finally, hopefully your own practice. I do not want to be bog down by affairs of the heart. You understand, don't you?"
"I see. So, I guess this is goodbye then, Ichigo-kun."
"Of course not, Hime. We are still friends, aren't we. And hopefully, if you don't mind, 'friends with benefits'? Besides, didn't you say you have something important to tell me."
"It is not that important to share with you anymore, Ichigo-kun."
"Hime."
"You really want to know."
"Yes."
"I am carrying your child, Ichigo-kun."
"What?! Are you sure? Are you even sure it's mine?"
" ... "
"Orihime?"
"Yes, Kurosaki-kun. It is yours. Unlike you, when I said I love you, I really meant it and there was never anybody else."
"Sorry. You must admit it's quite a shock. What are you going to do with... the fetus?"
"It is our... my baby. What do you think?"
"You are carrying it to term? Then what? Adoption?"
"Yes, I am going to give birth to my baby and I am going to raise him or her on my own."
"You are barely surviving by yourself. How are you going to support a child?"
"I can manage."
"You can manage? How are you going to manage? I know you don't want to hear this, but have you thought of abortion? I will even pay for it and be with you at the procedure till..."
"NO! You do not get to speak of my baby that way! You have no right to decide whether she lives or... "
"She? Are you so sure it's a girl?"
"A mother knows. I am going to give birth to a beautiful girl and when she is a beautiful big girl; I am going to tell her she was conceived with love because that's how much I have loved you, Kurosaki-kun. And she will be getting the love I have for you and the love you are unwilling to give to me. She will not be lacking in love due to having only one parent. She will be loved."
"Orihime... What about your plans? Your future? Your dream of becoming a doctor, like me and working side by side with me? Are you going to throw it all away for... a mistake? A careless mkstake."
"You know what is funny, Kurosaki-kun? I have always thought of you as my future. You were in all my plans. And you were someone I thought foolishly, I could share my dreams with. But now it seems you and I will get to live completely different lives. You get to become a doctor, marry your fellow doctor and live your good life with your capable wife in a big house with white picket fences. Whereas I, will continue to live in my small apartment with my 'careless mistake'."
"Hime..."
"That's Inoue to you, Kurosaki-san or maybe, the next time we meet again; it will be Kurosaki-sensei."
(いよく)
(So... how was the angst? Was it good for you? Not to worry, when my tormented muse is back, there will be more angst in my other updates. I guess I am not feeling so sad.)
(Askosh Mosey, I hope you are reading this. Thanks. :) Not only will I update on my birthday but it will be the update to another completed story. Sorry, not the one you seem to like. Can you guess? ;) )
(Breathe-With-You, 希望你有读这个故事。我那会 'offended'。你的宝贵提议还令我感激涕零。:) 如果你不觉得麻烦, 我有一个小小的请求, 当我遇到我不了解的字, 我是否可以 'PM' 你吗? 谢谢您。)