p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"His eyes slowly opened to sounds of activity. The lights were turned down in the room so much that he could just barely see outlines of furniture and people asleep around him. That was the only pro of having super light sensitivity; the parts of his eye that aided his night vision were incredible. He knew that was probably why he could see as well he did where he was in the cell. Hal was no where to be found in the room around him. His mind refused to him believe he was free, but he knew that he was. Dirk stared up at the ceiling, not needing to look around to realize where he was. His fingers felt the softness of the bed he was on, the pressure of needles in his skin, the clean white ceiling and curtains around his bed. The weights of other people making the bed dip down in certain places. He let out a breath through his nose, breathing down fresh air into his lungs that didn't smell like rust or corpses immediately after from the oxygen mask. There was beeping beside him, noises of doctors and nurses. It would make sense that he was in the hospital. He tightened his fist, curled his toes, and moved his neck. Everything seemed to still be there- but even the small movements wore him out. He let out a breath that he had pent up in his chest when he moved, rising up a hand to brush a hand over his face. There was a pounding in his head… ache in his bones… throb in his chest./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Guilt. Mostly that- and anger, sorrow, sickness, regret, hate and shame. He kept quiet as he let the tears flow. em"I should have died there." /emDirk swallowed thickly, arms around himself. Wires crossed over him and he could feel every sharp dip and bone sticking out his skin. He let it out, tired of having it pent up but felt worthless for having it in the first place when he didn't emdeserve /emto have it. People like Jenna deserved to cry and thus he immediately willed the tears to a stop. He had only shed a few, but shoved the emotions back down into a jar inside his mind and shut it tight. The last time he had full out had an emotional breakdown had been with Jenna and before that, he was alone when his brother died… maybe a mental breakdown after Jake left him the first time. But three times in roughly twenty-so years was a record he wasn't going to tarnish- especially if he didn't deserve to cry in the first place. /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" He let out another breath, taking off the oxygen mask letting his lungs expand to the air around him that wasn't from a canister. Dirk rubbed his eyes and glanced at the wires- if he pulled them off the hospital would rush into the room faster than security after a robbery in a casino. So he settled back against the pillows he was propped up with. He looked at Jake who was closest to him, head resting by his hip on the bed. Jake looked nearly as terrible as he did, worry lines clear on his features even in his sleep. His eyes saw Roxy; her skin damn near glowed in the darkness she was so pale it seemed. She looked distraught, as did Jane who was beside her. It reminded him of other times they thought one of them might leave or… or something else. They ended up back together… all of them with the same fear of losing the other./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Jake stirred and Dirk didn't know if he should play 'dead' or let him wake up to him. He didn't have time to choose the former as Jake blinked open his eyes to look up at him. Green and orange met and Jake raised his head to look at Dirk, eyes widened and mouth slightly open. The other man worked his jaw, with a small shake of his head. He had a thousand things to say to Dirk that seemed to leave his brain all at once. The only left to think was, "I'm sorry." It was the softest words Jake had ever uttered, but nearly more truthful than all he'd spoken before. Dirk stared at him, a beast inside his head that sounded so much like the metallic voice of Hal to him not to forgive him. But the look on his face, the feeling in his own heart. The aching in his heart just killed him from the inside out. Something that Nathanial could never do was rip out his core, but the ability was mastered by the one in front of him. "I know." Dirk whispered and raised his hand to Jake's cheek. He didn't feel relief and he didn't feel pain either. Maybe that was his medium that he found he could live with. It was a horrible realization that it could have been Jake; that he loved Jake emso much, /emthat Jake could have done everything Nathanial had and he would still forgive him and still love him afterward too./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Jake shook his head, "No- Please don't say that- That you know I'm sorry-." Jake whispered, taking his hand in his. "I should have never said anything that I did- I was horrible to you- Absolutely horrible to do the things I did to you- You aren't a robot, god, you're more considerate than I am. You-" He worked his mouth, eyes searching Dirk's who looked damn passive about what he was saying. Jake swallowed, "You would think I would have appreciated the best thing in my life more than I did. I can't even say I was drunk to make it better because there is simply no way for me to… to ever make what I did better." He shook his head, "I'm… so sorry, Dirk. I hurt you and… and what happened-" Dirk blinked before holding up his hand, "That's enough, Jake." Jake's mouth shut, taking in a breath to hold there. Dirk shook his head, "I… I don't want to talk about this anymore." The other man looked like Dirk had hit him, but recovered, "Alright… If that's what you want." Jake murmured, letting out the breath, "I'm… glad you woke up." Jake didn't say what he wanted to but that was close enough to it. Roxy and Jane stirred when someone split something outside. They woke and there were almost dual squeals of joy before they rushed to hug him. He wrapped his arms tightly around them, shutting his eyes and Jake stepped away, wanting more than anything to be a part of the embrace./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"xXx/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"em /em"My name is Vincent McClure, I'm your public appointed attorney." Dirk shook the hand that was offered to him, eyes narrowed with deep frown since the lights were turned up again. "Dirk Strider." Obviously the attorney already knew who he was, but it was socially acceptable to introduce yourself as well. The news had already had a field day with trying to get into the hospital. Especially with all the new 'information' about the case and how Dirk had escaped; and even better they were making up their own stories about how he had somehow instigated it through public hate of Nathanial Morris. Being civil to his lawyer would at least be a little proof that he wasn't a complete psychopath like the news hinted he was. "Jane Crocker." Jane introduced herself with a smile, shaking Vincent's hand as well. Jake and Roxy had gone to the house to pick up a few articles of clothing (his glasses mainly) and Jane had stayed behind. It had been about a week since Dirk had been rescued and only now did someone take action in giving emhim /ema lawyer. Victim advocates were as helpful as 'cactus in one's ass' as Roxy has growled after the rather tart woman had informed him that there would be a trial and he shouldn't expect anything dire to happen since he'd shot the person in question./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Dirk seemed far too unemotional about it all. Like someone had cut him off from the rest of his feelings or he had simply stopped having them. They had put him back on his depression medication, though they didn't seem to do much good at times. Though Roxy and Jake were supposedly the closest to him, the one he truly confided in was Jane. Ever since the other two had left, it had been nonverbal communication between the woman and him. It wasn't that he was upset with Roxy or Jake- perhaps a bit still with Jake-, he simply felt… like he wasn't feeling pressured with Jane. Maybe it was because Jane and Jenna were so much alike. The lawyer pulled up a chair, looking at Dirk with a slight frown. "Now that I've seen you, I think the media are full of themselves." The blond raised an eyebrow before turning the lights low now he could open his eyes to more than squint. Vincent glanced up at the lights before taking out a pen and paper. Jane watched the two of them with hesitant eyes. After the victim advocate woman, all of them were wary of letting people near Dirk. "Just letting you know that Daniel Clements was proved to be Nathanial Morris' brother through their father. Different mothers and Daniel took his mother's last name. How that got passed the back-ground check we'll never know." He added the last bit with a hint of sarcasm./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Dirk nodded, "He's in custody?" Vincent nodded, "Thankfully yes. Ms. Gates report and… well, proof, was enough to have the department hold him in jail instead of just a twenty-four hour period. She wants to see you by the way, along with her family." The man was maybe in his late thirties, with slowly graying sideburns and hazel eyes and reddish brown hair. "I'm sure you've probably recounted what happened to the police about a million and a half times… but I need to hear it now. I've read over the report they sent me and frankly, I know there are holes in it." Dirk stiffened, knowing he had left things out that were... hard, to discuss. Vincent shifted a bit, looking at him. "Mr. Strider, I don't want to make you relive any of what you just went through. Not a moment of it. But there are people outside this hospital that believe you faked this entire thing to kill a supposed upstanding memory of the community on trial for a rape they believe he didn't commit. I need to know everything." He looked into Dirk's orange eyes and Jane reached over to take his hand, almost to offer him a bit of strength to hold onto. Dirk stared him down at first before looking at the pen and paper. "Fine. Everything."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" xXx/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Jane was crying for him when he finished. Several pages of yellow notebook paper sat to the side of the lawyer who had to replace his pen once already. Even he looked mildly disturbed by what he was hearing. Jane and Vincent were the only ones beside Dirk who knew emeverything /emthat had happened to him in that place. Jake and Roxy hadn't returned yet either, and would stay blissfully ignorant from what happened until it came to light in trial. Vincent stopped writing a few moments after he had stopped talking. He had a frown almost sown onto his face. "…I…honestly don't know what to say." He murmured softly and Dirk drew in a deep breath. "It's a lot to take in." Was his soft answer and Vincent nodded, "It's a lot to live through, I imagine." Jane swallowed; hand still in Dirk's and blowing her nose into a tissue Dirk had given her after the discussion of Jenna's death. Vincent sighed, "I will do everything I can to make sure you get at least something akin to justice… especially for Jenna and the other hundred and two that never got to have their lives." Dirk simply nodded and Vincent started to gather his things. "Jenna Summer's funeral is two days from now… I can make arrangements for you attend if you wish."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Dirk looked up at him as he shut his briefcase. The man nodded, "Yes, pleases." Vincent immediately returned his nod, "I'll make sure a car can pick you up to drive you. Will anyone else be attending?" The blond glanced at Jane, who cleared her throat, "Jake and Roxy will want to come with us." Dirk looked back at the lawyer, "Alright, I'll come see you again at the funeral. I'm representing all the parties against the Morris case so I will be attending as well." He shook their hands again before he stepped out, and Dirk could clearly see Roxy and Jake carrying shopping bags and a duffle bag from his apartment at the end of the hall. Dirk let out a breath before glancing at Jane, "Don't tell them." She blinked, opening her mouth before frowning. "Dirk…" He shook his head, "I don't want the pity. I don't want them to know what I did." Jane glanced at their friends coming toward them, "You survived, Dirk. You didn't do anything wrong." Dirk didn't answer her as Jake and Roxy came back in, setting down the bags. "Who was that?" Roxy asked, taking up her chair by Dirk's left side. "My new lawyer." Jake nodded, "Seemed like a nice chap." Jane sighed, "Was honest at least, a lot better than the lady who came." There was a snort from Roxy, "Anyone is better than that." Dirk lapsed into silence as they talked amongst themselves before he spoke again, not really sure where the conversation was at that point. "I need a suit for Jenna's funeral." Jane explained when the other's gave him a confused looks and Roxy gave Dirk a saddened look, "We'll get you one, Dirk."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Guilt. Mostly that- and anger, sorrow, sickness, regret, hate and shame. He kept quiet as he let the tears flow. em"I should have died there." /emDirk swallowed thickly, arms around himself. Wires crossed over him and he could feel every sharp dip and bone sticking out his skin. He let it out, tired of having it pent up but felt worthless for having it in the first place when he didn't emdeserve /emto have it. People like Jenna deserved to cry and thus he immediately willed the tears to a stop. He had only shed a few, but shoved the emotions back down into a jar inside his mind and shut it tight. The last time he had full out had an emotional breakdown had been with Jenna and before that, he was alone when his brother died… maybe a mental breakdown after Jake left him the first time. But three times in roughly twenty-so years was a record he wasn't going to tarnish- especially if he didn't deserve to cry in the first place. /p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" He let out another breath, taking off the oxygen mask letting his lungs expand to the air around him that wasn't from a canister. Dirk rubbed his eyes and glanced at the wires- if he pulled them off the hospital would rush into the room faster than security after a robbery in a casino. So he settled back against the pillows he was propped up with. He looked at Jake who was closest to him, head resting by his hip on the bed. Jake looked nearly as terrible as he did, worry lines clear on his features even in his sleep. His eyes saw Roxy; her skin damn near glowed in the darkness she was so pale it seemed. She looked distraught, as did Jane who was beside her. It reminded him of other times they thought one of them might leave or… or something else. They ended up back together… all of them with the same fear of losing the other./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Jake stirred and Dirk didn't know if he should play 'dead' or let him wake up to him. He didn't have time to choose the former as Jake blinked open his eyes to look up at him. Green and orange met and Jake raised his head to look at Dirk, eyes widened and mouth slightly open. The other man worked his jaw, with a small shake of his head. He had a thousand things to say to Dirk that seemed to leave his brain all at once. The only left to think was, "I'm sorry." It was the softest words Jake had ever uttered, but nearly more truthful than all he'd spoken before. Dirk stared at him, a beast inside his head that sounded so much like the metallic voice of Hal to him not to forgive him. But the look on his face, the feeling in his own heart. The aching in his heart just killed him from the inside out. Something that Nathanial could never do was rip out his core, but the ability was mastered by the one in front of him. "I know." Dirk whispered and raised his hand to Jake's cheek. He didn't feel relief and he didn't feel pain either. Maybe that was his medium that he found he could live with. It was a horrible realization that it could have been Jake; that he loved Jake emso much, /emthat Jake could have done everything Nathanial had and he would still forgive him and still love him afterward too./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"Jake shook his head, "No- Please don't say that- That you know I'm sorry-." Jake whispered, taking his hand in his. "I should have never said anything that I did- I was horrible to you- Absolutely horrible to do the things I did to you- You aren't a robot, god, you're more considerate than I am. You-" He worked his mouth, eyes searching Dirk's who looked damn passive about what he was saying. Jake swallowed, "You would think I would have appreciated the best thing in my life more than I did. I can't even say I was drunk to make it better because there is simply no way for me to… to ever make what I did better." He shook his head, "I'm… so sorry, Dirk. I hurt you and… and what happened-" Dirk blinked before holding up his hand, "That's enough, Jake." Jake's mouth shut, taking in a breath to hold there. Dirk shook his head, "I… I don't want to talk about this anymore." The other man looked like Dirk had hit him, but recovered, "Alright… If that's what you want." Jake murmured, letting out the breath, "I'm… glad you woke up." Jake didn't say what he wanted to but that was close enough to it. Roxy and Jane stirred when someone split something outside. They woke and there were almost dual squeals of joy before they rushed to hug him. He wrapped his arms tightly around them, shutting his eyes and Jake stepped away, wanting more than anything to be a part of the embrace./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"xXx/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;"em /em"My name is Vincent McClure, I'm your public appointed attorney." Dirk shook the hand that was offered to him, eyes narrowed with deep frown since the lights were turned up again. "Dirk Strider." Obviously the attorney already knew who he was, but it was socially acceptable to introduce yourself as well. The news had already had a field day with trying to get into the hospital. Especially with all the new 'information' about the case and how Dirk had escaped; and even better they were making up their own stories about how he had somehow instigated it through public hate of Nathanial Morris. Being civil to his lawyer would at least be a little proof that he wasn't a complete psychopath like the news hinted he was. "Jane Crocker." Jane introduced herself with a smile, shaking Vincent's hand as well. Jake and Roxy had gone to the house to pick up a few articles of clothing (his glasses mainly) and Jane had stayed behind. It had been about a week since Dirk had been rescued and only now did someone take action in giving emhim /ema lawyer. Victim advocates were as helpful as 'cactus in one's ass' as Roxy has growled after the rather tart woman had informed him that there would be a trial and he shouldn't expect anything dire to happen since he'd shot the person in question./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Dirk seemed far too unemotional about it all. Like someone had cut him off from the rest of his feelings or he had simply stopped having them. They had put him back on his depression medication, though they didn't seem to do much good at times. Though Roxy and Jake were supposedly the closest to him, the one he truly confided in was Jane. Ever since the other two had left, it had been nonverbal communication between the woman and him. It wasn't that he was upset with Roxy or Jake- perhaps a bit still with Jake-, he simply felt… like he wasn't feeling pressured with Jane. Maybe it was because Jane and Jenna were so much alike. The lawyer pulled up a chair, looking at Dirk with a slight frown. "Now that I've seen you, I think the media are full of themselves." The blond raised an eyebrow before turning the lights low now he could open his eyes to more than squint. Vincent glanced up at the lights before taking out a pen and paper. Jane watched the two of them with hesitant eyes. After the victim advocate woman, all of them were wary of letting people near Dirk. "Just letting you know that Daniel Clements was proved to be Nathanial Morris' brother through their father. Different mothers and Daniel took his mother's last name. How that got passed the back-ground check we'll never know." He added the last bit with a hint of sarcasm./p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Dirk nodded, "He's in custody?" Vincent nodded, "Thankfully yes. Ms. Gates report and… well, proof, was enough to have the department hold him in jail instead of just a twenty-four hour period. She wants to see you by the way, along with her family." The man was maybe in his late thirties, with slowly graying sideburns and hazel eyes and reddish brown hair. "I'm sure you've probably recounted what happened to the police about a million and a half times… but I need to hear it now. I've read over the report they sent me and frankly, I know there are holes in it." Dirk stiffened, knowing he had left things out that were... hard, to discuss. Vincent shifted a bit, looking at him. "Mr. Strider, I don't want to make you relive any of what you just went through. Not a moment of it. But there are people outside this hospital that believe you faked this entire thing to kill a supposed upstanding memory of the community on trial for a rape they believe he didn't commit. I need to know everything." He looked into Dirk's orange eyes and Jane reached over to take his hand, almost to offer him a bit of strength to hold onto. Dirk stared him down at first before looking at the pen and paper. "Fine. Everything."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" xXx/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Jane was crying for him when he finished. Several pages of yellow notebook paper sat to the side of the lawyer who had to replace his pen once already. Even he looked mildly disturbed by what he was hearing. Jane and Vincent were the only ones beside Dirk who knew emeverything /emthat had happened to him in that place. Jake and Roxy hadn't returned yet either, and would stay blissfully ignorant from what happened until it came to light in trial. Vincent stopped writing a few moments after he had stopped talking. He had a frown almost sown onto his face. "…I…honestly don't know what to say." He murmured softly and Dirk drew in a deep breath. "It's a lot to take in." Was his soft answer and Vincent nodded, "It's a lot to live through, I imagine." Jane swallowed; hand still in Dirk's and blowing her nose into a tissue Dirk had given her after the discussion of Jenna's death. Vincent sighed, "I will do everything I can to make sure you get at least something akin to justice… especially for Jenna and the other hundred and two that never got to have their lives." Dirk simply nodded and Vincent started to gather his things. "Jenna Summer's funeral is two days from now… I can make arrangements for you attend if you wish."/p
p style="font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.4444446563721px; line-height: 17.5559997558594px;" Dirk looked up at him as he shut his briefcase. The man nodded, "Yes, pleases." Vincent immediately returned his nod, "I'll make sure a car can pick you up to drive you. Will anyone else be attending?" The blond glanced at Jane, who cleared her throat, "Jake and Roxy will want to come with us." Dirk looked back at the lawyer, "Alright, I'll come see you again at the funeral. I'm representing all the parties against the Morris case so I will be attending as well." He shook their hands again before he stepped out, and Dirk could clearly see Roxy and Jake carrying shopping bags and a duffle bag from his apartment at the end of the hall. Dirk let out a breath before glancing at Jane, "Don't tell them." She blinked, opening her mouth before frowning. "Dirk…" He shook his head, "I don't want the pity. I don't want them to know what I did." Jane glanced at their friends coming toward them, "You survived, Dirk. You didn't do anything wrong." Dirk didn't answer her as Jake and Roxy came back in, setting down the bags. "Who was that?" Roxy asked, taking up her chair by Dirk's left side. "My new lawyer." Jake nodded, "Seemed like a nice chap." Jane sighed, "Was honest at least, a lot better than the lady who came." There was a snort from Roxy, "Anyone is better than that." Dirk lapsed into silence as they talked amongst themselves before he spoke again, not really sure where the conversation was at that point. "I need a suit for Jenna's funeral." Jane explained when the other's gave him a confused looks and Roxy gave Dirk a saddened look, "We'll get you one, Dirk."/p