Steve you heard from Loki today? I've been trying to get ahold of him since last night. He won't pick up the phone or respond to my texts.
Last time I talked to him was yesterday afternoon. Said he was going to get a head start on applying for colleges. That was about two. I'll try swing by his house after my run.
Ok, thanks. Stay warm and shit. We are supposed to get about 6-8 inches today. There's a sex joke in there somewhere but I'm to wound up to make it.
Will do. I'll let you know as soon as I hear something.
Thanks, Cap.
Winter this year was alittle harsherthat it had been in the past four years. Yet it still did not deter Steve from taking his morning run. By the time he hit the park, the snow was already starting to accumulate on the ground. Steve loved it. It awoke the artist in him, the scene begging to be painted.
He slowed down when he saw a lithe figure sitting on one of the benches lining the paths. At first he didn't recognize the person on the bench. Their long black hair, now frizzy in the snow, hung in front of their face. They wore a thin faded green t shirt, black skinny jeans and black converse. No jacket. As he approached he noted the crumbled paper held in a tight fist.
"Loki?" Steve surged forward tearing his heavy sweatshirt over his head, leaving him in his under armor. "Holy shit, what are you doing out here without a jacket?" He slid the hoodie over Loki's head and pulled his arms through the sleeves. He studied his friend; green eyes stayed locked on the paper fisted in his hand. He hadn't even acknowledged Steve's presence. The blond crouched down in front of him. "Hey, Loki." He said softly. "Talk to me. What happened?" Nothing. "At least come home with me. You'll freeze to death out here." Loki slowly nodded and held out the piece of paper to Steve. He gingerly took it out of his hand and read it over carefully.
"They were never going to tell me." Came the small voice, barely above a whisper. "All my life I knew I was different. They could have—but they didn't."
Shit. This was bad. "Loki, have you talked to Tony?"
Black hair swayed as he shook his head. "I left everything on my dresser."
Steve fished his phone out of his pocket. "Hey, I found him. Look, I need you to meet me at my house ASAP….No, no—not physically. Just hurry, but be safe Tony. It's starting to come down pretty hard." He ended the call and prayed that Tony would make it in one piece.
"Loki can you move?"
"My legs are numb." Red puffy eyes gazed up at him and he had never seen anything so heartbreaking in all his life. Loki looked defeated and lost. He started shivering as if only now realizing it was cold.
"Don't worry, I got you." Steve picked him up bridal style. Amazed at how light he was. "Let's get you home. Tony should be there soon."
It took a good fifteen minutes to get back to his house. Steve's mom had passed away the year before and he became a ward of the state. The house was paid for and his mom had left him a fairly decent amount of savings that would get him at least into his first year of college. There were monthly visits from social workers but they all seemed satisfied that he was making it on his own.
The house was a simple two story, two bed, two bath and it was just right for Steve. It took him almost the full year after her passing to move his things into the master bedroom and donate her clothes to charity.
Steve deposited Loki on the couch and proceeded to get some clothes together and several towels. When he came back to where Loki was sitting he noticed his lips were blue. "Jesus, Loki. You're like ice." Steve took him upstairs and started a steaming shower. He had no idea how long Loki sat in the freezing cold. He was beginning to think if he didn't warm up soon the teen would succumb to hypothermia.
He striped them both down to their underwear (thankful that Loki was actually wearing some, since he often went commando). He led him into the shower and held him tight as the hot water poured over them. He rubbed pale thin arms, "It doesn't matter Loki. It doesn't change who you are. Tony and I will always be here for you no matter what. I promise."
The raven haired teen nodded. He felt so numb, inside and out. It was so painfully clear now that he looked back on it. He didn't even resemble them in the slightest. It certainly explained why he always felt like he didn't belong. No matter how much his mother and Thor loved him. Explained why he always felt second best around Odin. He turned his head into the crook of his best friend's neck. Steve tightened his grip.
"Did Thor know?" Came the rough whisper.
"No. Thor couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it." His brother was home from college for winter break. If anything he was just as incensed as Loki was that their parents had hidden something like this for so long.
"They are probably worried. I'll shoot Thor a text after we get you settled."
Loki nodded. He surprised his own self with how passive he was. Supposed he got it all out yesterday. He noticed Steve turned the water off after his shaking subsided. He didn't even realize he had been. The blond wrapped a towel around his waist, shucking the wet boxers before attending to his shell shocked friend. Making sure he was dressed and tucked under layers of blankets, Steve dressed and ran downstairs to get Loki some tea.
"Steve!" Tony skidded into the hallway after slamming the front door.
"Kitchen."
Tony pulled off his wet coat and hoodie. "What happened? Where is he?"
"He's upstairs in bed. Found him in the park in nothing but jeans and a t shirt, he was clutching this." Steve slid the crumbled up document towards Tony.
He picked it up reading it thoroughly. "He's adopted? Where did he find this?"
"He hasn't said much about it. I'm thinking he had a big blowout with his folks. Mostly Odin, I think. You know how they were. Thor was there, he didn't know either." He handed Tony some hot chocolate. "Why are you wet?"
"Car got stuck in the snow on the way over. Got some sweats I can borrow?" Steve threw him a clean dish towel and he ran it over his wet hair.
"You know where they are. I'll be up in a few with his tea."
Tony changed quickly and crawled under the blanket fort. Wrapping his arms around Loki, he kissed his forehead and brushed a lock of hair from his face. "Hey babe."
Loki curled into him, tucking his head under Tony's chin. "Want me to go kick his old ass? I think me and Steve can take him."
"He's not worth it." Was the small reply.
"I know babe. It doesn't change who you are though. You're still my Loki, love of my life, pain in my ass, with the same brilliant mind and sarcastic mouth that I love to kiss. You are still you and they can't take that away from you. And just because you're not biologically theirs doesn't mean they don't love you."
Steve crawled in the bed behind Loki, setting his tea on the night stand and curling around him. His arm crossing over Loki and resting on Tony's side.
"But why did they hide it from me? Were they ashamed of me? Were they trying to protect me from being hurt, because they failed miserably?" The two boys let him rant, silently lending their support. "My life has been one big, giant lie."
Steve rested his cheek against the back of Loki's neck. "Then trust that we are the truth and that this knowledge hasn't changed how we feel about you. You are still the same person you ever were."
"….am I?"
"Yes, babe. You are."
"Do you think someone gave me up because they didn't want me?" Loki's voice was so wounded and tiny.
"Doesn't matter, you were adopted by people who did." Steve said softly. After a moment Loki entwined his fingers with the blonde's and pulled his hand to his chest, whole burying further into the side of Tony's neck.
The trio drifted to sleep in a tangle of limbs as they remained protectively around Loki. By the time his eyes fluttered open it was beginning to get dark outside. Tony leaned forward and pecked his nose, forcing green eyes to meet his own. He gave a lopsided grin and stroked his fingers against sharp cheek bones. Loki tilted his head into the touch. Steve sighed from behind him and shifted closer to Loki in his sleep. They both smiled.
Loki's gaze turned serious. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. At least not for a while." He whispered.
"Whatever you want babe." Tony agreed.
Steve shifted again, away from Loki and onto his back. He did a full body stretch and yawned. "Loki, you have the boniest shoulder blades."
"My elbows are sharper."
Steve chuckled, "Noted."
They remained silent, the mood still somber. When there was a loud growling rumble. The three burst out laughing at Steve's stomach protesting at the lack of food. Loki's stomach followed in agreement since he hadn't eaten anything after lunch the previous day. "Ok, making dinner now. Good thing I went shopping yesterday."
After everyone had a huge helping of Spaghetti and meatballs, Caesar salad and garlic bread, they all hunkered down on Steve's oversized couch and turned on the tube. The weather reported the snow had dropped up to twelve inches on their little city. "Well, looks like we are snowed in guys."
"Not like I had anyone to go home to anyway. What better way to spend being trapped in a house than with your besties?" Tony said with extra sugary sweet cheer.
"I have no intention of going back to that house anytime soon." Loki voiced.
"Well, you're more than welcome to stay here as long as you want. I let Thor know where you were. He would like it if you could call him when are ready. He's concerned."
"I know, I will." Loki excused himself and went to the restroom. Washing his hands he looked up at his reflection. Tony and Steve said nothing had changed, that he was still the same Loki Odinson. Not Odinson. In name only. He looked on at his wild mane of black hair. He hadn't realized it had gotten so long; reaching almost past his shoulder blades. It seemed that the long hair was a rite of passage, a trade mark of Odinson men.
Loki looked frantically around Steve's sink. Not an Odinson…never was. He opened cabinets and pulled out drawers, finally finding a set of sheers. He grabbed a lock of hair and cut, then another, and then a thicker chunk. He cut it as close to the scalp as he could. Not short enough. He rambled through the draws again searching for a pair of clippers. He had just turned it on when Steve knocked at the door.
"Loki, you ok?"
"I'm fine Steve, be out in a minute." He tried to school the emotions threatening to burst forth from his voice.
There was a pause. "Loki, what are you doing?"
"Steve, please go away." Came his trembling reply.
The door shuddered against the frame as Steve barged in. Loki's hand was caught just as he brought the clippers to the middle of his forehead. Steve gazed at his friend with concern. Softly speaking, "You wouldn't look right with a buzz cut. Here, let me help you." He gently took the clippers from Loki's hand, switching them off and setting them on the counter. "Yeah, uh, you did quite the number on your hair." Looking around at the black hair that littered the floor and countertops. Loki's eyes fell upon the mess he had made, and then back up into sky blue eyes, completely lost. "Let me fix it up."
Tony watched from the doorway as his best friend attempted to salvage his lover's impromptu haircut. It was going to be pretty damn short in the back. Steve managed to even it out. Loki now had bangs that parted in the middle and hung to his brow.
"I think that's as good as it's gonna get." Steve said as he began cleaning up the hair.
Loki looked at it this way and that in the mirror. Turning to Tony, "What do you think?"
Tony carded his fingers through the short black hair. "It's short, but I like it. Spangles did a good job." Loki smiled as Tony pecked his lips. "Your da—Odin is gonna stroke out."
"Good." Loki took the rag Steve was using to wipe off the counters. "I can clean it up. Thank you, Steve." He kissed the blonds cheeks as he blushed furiously.
Tony grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the bathroom, saying something about Steve being a bad host and needing to entertain him. After clearing the mess he made, Loki took a good hard look at himself. He ran his hand over the back of his neck. He liked it, liked it a lot. He felt lighter, holding his head a little higher, he smirked. Fuck 'im.
Turning off the light he went in search of the others. He found them lounging on the couch getting ready to engage each other in a game of Marvel VS CAPCOM. He straddled Tony's lap, tan hands automatically settling on his waist. "Feeling better babe?" Tony asked after Loki relinquished his mouth.
"Yes. And I was thinking I should show Steven how very thankful I am by sucking his cock." Steve sputtered and choked on the soda he was sipping. Both boys smirked. "But I think I will go call Thor instead and let him know I did not perish in this wicked snow storm."
"Why do you two always do that?" Steve questioned as they picked their characters.
"Because you are a prude and you're so easy to get a reaction out of."
"I am not a prude." Steve mumbled indignantly.
"Yes you are." Tony laughed. "You still have this old fashion notion that you should save yourself for marriage."
Steve sighed. "It's not that foreign a concept, Tony." He paused a moment. "You two are always making me question my sexuality."
"So who says you can't have it both ways?"
"It's not that simple and you know it."
"Sure it is. Why limit yourself? If you want to be with a woman, be with a woman. If you want to be with a man, be with a man."
"That's easy for you to say. You've been there, done that."
"Look, two eighth grade hook ups in the girl's locker room hardly count. My point is, do what you want. Who are you trying to impress, Steve? You are the all American golden boy. Everybody loves you. Besides, everyone probably thinks your gay anyway since the three of us are inseparable."
They focused on the game for a while when Tony spoke up again. "You know we've been in love with you since grade school. Even when you were an extra skinny asthmatic runt. Way to go puberty, by the way. Just come over to the dark side already."
"What do you mean, 'since grade school'?"
"Poor innocent, little Stevie Rogers, (so kicking your ass right now!), don't you know you're the one who has always held this little rag tag trio together? If it wasn't for you, Loki and I would probably either be a recluse locked up doing sciency nerdy stuff, reading every book the public library had to offer, or hacking into government agencies just because we could, wreaking havoc on everyone in this poor little backwards city."
Steve drew quiet. "I don't know what to say to that."
"You don't have to say anything. Take it and run, Cap." They returned to the game again. "You should let Loki suck your cock though, Steve. He's really good at it."
Steve's player got shot with an energy blast and died. Tony chuckled. "Sorry about that. But seriously, just saying."
"I wish you wouldn't." Steve mumbled, his face beet red.
Tony just smirked knowingly. He planted the seed. No way Steve could think of anything else at this point.