...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
In which there is once again a Happy Monster and an Annoyed Flea
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
- Damn Shinra
Izaya thought in silent frustration as he feigned disinterest as he stood beside Shizuo.
Shinra had disappeared with Celty before he knew, leaving him alone with Shizuo.
Shinra wasn't one for gossip, but if it was with Celty and she asked, he would gossip better than high school girls about their boyfriends and recount Shizuo's and Izaya's time forcibly spent in each other's presence all the way from their first meeting to the current situation. With typical Shinra-esque dramatization.
On the other hand, Shizuo didn't seem to be aware of the awkwardness of the situation at all, as he puffed on a cigarette in contentment, turning his eyes to Izaya when he felt his stare.
"What?"
"I didn't say anything."
Shizuo scoffed at this, blowing smoke from his cigarette. Izaya wrinkled his nose in disgust.
"Yeah right, you look like you want to say something. What the hell's with you lately, flea? Since when have you ever kept your mouth shut from saying something you want?"
Another puff of smoke polluted the air around Izaya –
"Not that I care, it's just annoying that you're acting weird. But it's good, be silent like this and I'll have peace."
Shizuo smiled at the thought, and Izaya looked away.
Silence passed, before Shizuo spoke.
"….I'm alright you know."
"Unfortunately."
Izaya spat, annoyed because he didn't know how to control the situation. Shizuo noticed, and shrugged, continuing.
"Oh and the bullets weren't poisonous at all, seems you worried for nothing."
"I wasn't worried."
"Yeah, good thing that. It'd be really pathetic if it's a flea who worries for me. Hah!"
Shizuo seemed to chuckle at the thought as he smoked on his cigarette in contentment.
Something seemed to have changed. Shizuo wasn't angry. Izaya wasn't happy with this.
Things weren't supposed to change if he didn't want them to.
"Right. So, you've repaid my debt and I've repaid mine, I'll pay for your treatment, so, I'll just be going."
Izaya said smoothly, and made to leave when he realized he couldn't move.
"…..What are you doing?"
"I don't know."
Izaya tugged at his wrist, but he was no match for Shizuo's inhuman grip. Sighing, he spoke tersely.
"Let me go, Shizu-chan."
"Don't want to."
"….Look, thanks for saving my life yesterday, I'm so grateful but you know we're even now so you should let me go unless you want another scar to mark you for life."
Izaya said the sentence half-sarcastically, but Shizuo's grip didn't lighten.
"Like hell I'm gonna let you hop away like the flea you are when I've finally caught you."
Shizuo blew another column of smoke as he spoke calmly, not even looking at Izaya and annoying the already annoyed information broker.
"What? Now you're just making no sense. Of course, you make no sense all the time but it seems your protozoic brain has degraded to a low even I hadn't thought was even possible, and you probably aren't making any sense to even yourself even if you can't comprehend what sense and logic is –"
Izaya wasn't able to finish his paradoxical statement for his throat stopped moving when his heart jolted up into his throat and he realized his face was in Shizuo's chest.
"Shut up, you're noisy. You're ruining my peace."
Shizuo said in annoyance as if he wasn't holding the flea close to him with one arm alone which was strong enough to prevent Izaya from getting out of his hold.
"Just what….do you think you're doing, Shizu-chan?"
Izaya spoke slowly with restrained irritation, and Shizuo blew a puff of smoke over his head.
"Isn't it obvious? I'm holding you."
"And why are you holding me?"
"Because I feel like it."
"So you're holding the one who screwed up your life and ruined your peace because you feel like it."
Izaya deadpanned, but the blond didn't seem to catch his sarcasm at all.
"Yeah. Weird huh. Tch well as long as I feel like holding you I ain't going to let you go so like I said, shut up and give me my peace."
Izaya swallowed down the sudden urge to scream.
"I have a better solution. You can let me go, and then you'll have your peace. If not, I will continue yapping like 'the annoying flea' I am and you will never get your peace. Oh and Shinra's furniture will go flying and you'll have to pay for the destruction. Don't you think my solution is better, Shizu-chan?"
"Yeah, one problem though."
"And what is that?"
"If I let you go that means you'll escape as always. And that means I won't be able to hold you if you escape. And if you escape when I've finally caught you, I won't have peace. So, your solution is good but irrelevant for the situation."
Izaya opened his mouth, but Shizuo continued on.
"So you can yap all you want, but even fleas get tired. And lonely, so I don't see why the hell you're complaining."
"Lonely? Me?" Izaya barked in laughter, "You must have mistaken me for someone else!"
"Hey Shizu-chan, do you even know who I am? I'm Orihara Izaya, and I don't get lonely –"
"'Because I don't have anyone like Shizu-chan. And I don't have anyone except Shizu-chan."'
"…"
"So since this 'Shizu-chan' is holding you, shouldn't you be grateful? Tch, you're the one who makes no sense, shitty flea."
"If this is pity, I don't need it, especially from a monster."
Izaya had lifted his head to glare up at Shizuo, whose lips pursed as he looked at him.
"What? Why the hell would I pity a shitty flea? Shitty fleas don't need pity. I'm not that kind, especially to shitty fleas."
Shizuo scoffed openly at Izaya's face and raised his head, releasing a cloud of smoke into the air.
"I don't care about you at all, flea. I'm a selfish guy, so shut up and let me hold you in peace."
…
Izaya felt as if he and Shizuo were speaking different languages, and he painstakingly spoke.
"Shizu-chan? If you hold someone you know that means you care about them, right? You're contradicting yourself, you illogical monster."
"Not necessarily. I'm holding you because I don't want you to escape. Not because I care for you Ah- before that, that is. Yeah there's still that huh…."
"….Translation, Shizu-chan?"
"Huh? I just said I'm not holding you 'cause I care for you, if I did, do you think I would be holding you since you don't like it? I don't care that you don't like it and you hate me. I hate you too, so that's why I'm holding you."
"Translation: I'm holding you just to piss you off. Is that it?"
"Yeah, kinda. But I'm also holding you 'cause I'm selfish and I want to hold you and I don't care about your feelings."
"Shizu-chan should begin the countdown, because I am this close to snapping."
"Snap then. I like to see you angry, Izayaaaa-kuuun."
At such words and the feral, almost delighted grin, Izaya summoned all his mental control and spoke as if his brain had retarded in Shizuo's presence -
"Why…did you….save….me?"
"…'Cause I didn't like the thought of you being killed by some guys who have no right to kill you 'cause that right belongs to me."
Izaya almost wished Shinra was eavesdropping so he could hear straight from the horse's mouth that Izaya's deduction was right.
"Right. So, those guys are gone, so there's no reason to keep me here. I'm an independent woman and I don't need your protection – that was sarcasm by the way."
Izaya added, for on second thought, Shizuo probably didn't get that he was being sarcastic. Well, at least the monster knew what sarcasm was.
"…So you do need my protection? Wait, aren't you a man?"
Shizuo looked confused and even apprehensive, and Izaya gave him a deadpan look.
"I was being sarcastic in the being a woman part not the protection part, because you know, holding me close like this and talking about protecting me, isn't this quite a romantic scene?"
Izaya gave his sweetest smile and snuggled up to Shizuo's chest for good measure, swallowing the bile in his throat as he stroked Shizuo's chest with his hand as he prepared his body to be thrown out the window, right past Shinra who was probably eavesdropping with Celty at the balcony.
Desperate times called for desperate measures. Izaya would bemoan in private about his own desperation later and wash his hands with his strongest soap, but right now he just wanted out of the monster's hold.
And then after that he would make sure Shinra wasn't taking any pictures. And Celty wouldn't misunderstand. She was probably freaking out right about this moment, imagining that he had been replaced by an alien. Actually, that would be a better option than her misunderstanding his and Shizuo's relationship.
Damage control would have to be done. Later, since now he would have to do a different type of damage control – for his own body which would soon be flying in the air.
Shizuo's mouth dropped open, and Izaya's eyes lit up –
Only to widen a second later as the cigarette had fallen from Shizuo's mouth onto his hair.
At least that was what Izaya was sure had happened, for there was now a burning, unwelcome heat on his head of glossy black hair.
…
"…."
Izaya's mouth had dropped open as well.
"HEIWAJIMA SHIZUO!"
"…Oops."
Izaya wanted to wrap his hands around Shizuo's neck and strangle him right then and there, but getting the cancer stick out of his hair took priority.
His hands shot up to his hair as he messed up the black locks, desperately searching for the cigarette which was burning his hair which he had just washed in the morning –
"Hey, it fell off."
"Shut up. I know it fell off," Izaya stretched his foot and crushed the cigarette, "But there's still soot in my hair! What the heck, Shizu-chan!? Do you know –"
"I know, you must have spent a lot of time washing your hair, you were in the bathroom for a long time after all. But you're just messing up your hair, let me do it for you."
"I don't want your monster hands –"
"Too late," Shizuo said bluntly as he captured Izaya's wrists in one hand, his other hand moving to brush the glossy black locks. "Now keep still."
Izaya fumed and reluctantly kept still as he thought furiously about a hundred possible methods to kill Heiwajima Shizuo and his ridiculous, atrocious, hair-damaging cancer sticks.
"Although it makes no difference, the soot's black and your hair's black, it's actually quite hard to see."
Those hundred possible methods to kill Heiwajima Shizuo and his ridiculous, atrocious, hair-damaging, pride-damaging cancer sticks just shot up to two hundred.
"Anyway it's just hair, don't kick up such a fuss flea."
Scratch that, he needed a thousand.
Izaya glared. Not only was his plan ruined and he had endured that humiliation for nothing, he now had the monster touching his hair.
Shinra was probably laughing his ass off right now.
Izaya hoped he would suffocate to death.
"Stop pouting and looking cute, it won't make me do my job faster."
"….!"
Izaya didn't think he needed the grace of words to convey to Shizuo how many different things were wrong with that one sentence.
"Tch I said stop looking cute didn't I?"
Izaya kicked him in the shin.
"I am glaring, you protozoic brain! You retarded monster, is your brain so slow you can't appreciate the difference between 'threatening' and 'cute'? This look means I want you to die as soon as possible –what are you doing?"
Izaya snapped as his hair was ruffled and there was a disarming grin on Shizuo's face.
His question only made Shizuo laugh, and pull Izaya close to him, ruffling his hair as he spoke fondly.
"This isn't so bad."
…
…
If it hadn't been for the cigarette, Izaya's plan would have worked and Shizuo would have snapped and thrown him out of the apartment. Him snapping was a few seconds away from his mouth dropping open. But seeing Izaya so annoyed and flustered and losing his cool over a simple cigarette on his hair brought great amusement to him and the fading away of his impending anger.
It wasn't as if he was attracted to the flea, but he could only describe Izaya's reaction as cute. And shitty flea or not, Shizuo couldn't harm such a cute thing.
Shizuo grinned widely as he stroked the fuming flea's hair, thinking crazily he wouldn't mind keeping such a cute flea for himself.
If only Izaya showed this normal, human side and reaction more often, perhaps he wouldn't have to kill him after all.
Because this side of Izaya, this flea who could lose his cool, who could be annoyed, who didn't act as if he were above normal human reactions, didn't piss him off.
The flea was beating his fists against his chest now, and Shizuo wondered if there was anyone he had to ask permission from if he wanted to keep Izaya all for himself.
Maybe he needed to ask Kasuka for a favour and get his signature so that Mairu and Kururi would allow him to have their brother.
For the flea was cute, he was not afraid of him, he was lonely like him, he was nice to hold and fitted perfectly in his arms, he had nice hair, he could actually take responsibility, contrary to Shizuo's beliefs, he was smart especially with computers and stuff, even though he wasn't a woman, he could make a nice companion.
And he tasted good too. Well, at least his neck did.
It was just his shitty personality and the pissing him off that was the problem.
Now if those two troublesome things which had screwed his life up were gone, Shizuo could actually enjoy Izaya's company.
He would have to find some way to make them go away. A permanent solution to his problems was better than a solution which backfired on him everytime – since it had been almost a decade, and still Izaya was not dead.
Shizuo wondered how he could have ever wanted to kill the adorable creature in his arms.
He almost regretted needing to get his revenge.
Almost, since it was hard, practically impossible to make those two problems go away or he would have done so by now.
Shizuo would have frowned at this, but the flea was still being annoyingly adorable and he found himself smiling instead.
"What are you smiling at you monster? You aren't going to eat me, are you? If so, I must applaud you for your uncharacteristic trickery – but really, I don't taste good, and I'm not food. Even if it wouldn't be cannibalism since Shizu-chan isn't human but a monster. I'm not sweet at all, I'm bitter, very bitter, and that's why Shizu-chan hates me right? Because I'm not sweet at all and Shizu-chan likes sweet things."
The flea even knew what he liked – come to think of it, the flea knew a lot of things about him. Shizuo nodded to himself. It was quite convenient.
Now if only he could get rid of those two troublesome things….
"You agree? Well of course you agree, so since you agree, you should let me go right now. Even though you're a protozoic brain, I'm sure you can at least understand the logic behind the statement. You don't like me, you hate me, and I hate you too, so really, just let me go alright? No one's going to kill me, I'm still yours to kill. And you're mine to kill. After I wash this disgusting soot off my hair. Which is your fault, by the way."
"Oh yeah, sorry about that. Hey, can I keep you?"
"Of course you should be sorry and of course – no wait, what?"
Shizuo wondered if he wasn't being direct enough. Perhaps he shouldn't have asked a question. Maybe the cigarette had burned through Izaya's brain and Izaya's information broker senses were not working at the moment and he would appreciate a statement of information.
"I want to keep you."
Shizuo was pleased with himself at the statement. It expressed his intention clearly and contained no ambiguities. Surely Izaya would understand.
"…No, I already said you can't keep me here."
"Ah no it's not that, I can let you go if you want, but I want to keep you."
"That statement made no sense at all. How can you let me go and keep me at the same time?"
"Well I can let you go now, but ultimately I still want to keep you. Even if it's not now."
Izaya looked like he was struggling to wrap his mind around Shizuo's logic. Shizuo waited patiently.
Shizuo thought his logic was easy to understand. He wanted to keep Izaya. What was so confusing about that?
Perhaps the cigarette had somehow affected his brain after all.
"…And your definition of 'keeping' is?"
Shizuo smiled, appreciating the question. It had helped him make out what he wanted to say.
"To have and to hold –"
"- From this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health? Shizu-chan you haven't even proposed but I suppose I should save you the trouble by saying No."
"…Huh?"
Shizuo was puzzled. He didn't say anything about a proposal or marriage. What was the flea thinking?
"….Nothing." Izaya said, and his cheeks were definitely not warm because Shizuo didn't understand his mockery. "Forget it. It was a poor joke. You were saying?"
Shizuo stared, then shrugged.
"I was saying, I want to keep you. To have and to hold you. I want you as a companion, because you're not that bad when you're not pissing me off. So I want to have you. And hold you sometimes maybe, because you're nice to hold and I haven't really held anyone before."
Shizuo said, his tone slightly wistful, for he imagined it would be nice to spend time and have someone other than Celty, who had Shinra, Vorona who was his friend but also kouhai, and Tom, who was his friend but also his sempai whom he respected. There weren't many people who didn't fear him and Izaya was one of them and he had proven that 1% of trustworthiness and currently he wasn't pissed off so why not?
…
Yet, despite Shizuo's contemplation, Izaya had different thoughts.
He shoved Shizuo away with his hands, and Shizuo let him.
Because it was Izaya's answer.
"No. Don't mock me, Shizu-chan. Speaking like that, it's as if I'm your ideal partner, which is too disgusting to think about. Let me take this chance to remind you –"
Stab
"I am Orihara Izaya, your worst enemy. The man you hate the most. Don't be fooled, Shizu-chan. One incident doesn't change anything. You hate me, and I hate you. It's unbelievable that you're speaking to me as if you don't hate me but remember, I hate you. And I always will."
"…I see."
Shizuo said. His eyes flashed, and Izaya took a step back, his switchblade in his hand.
"Oh? Have you come back to your senses? It's about time, Shizu-chan. You're just a monster after all, even if you want to become human, you'll never be one. And by some miraculous chance that you're becoming human, I won't play a part in such an absurd metamorphosis."
…
Shizuo didn't reply. With that straightforward gaze, he took the knife out of his chest and crushed it in his hand.
He opened his hand, and the bits of metal trickled to the floor, slowly, like sand in an hourglass.
And then he took a step forward.
And reached out a hand towards Izaya's face.
…
Izaya didn't flinch when Shizuo's hand touched his cheek. He merely looked incredulous, and discomfort appeared on his features when those fingers moved across his skin, that thumb brushing against his cheek.
"I see."
"What?"
Izaya said. He would have moved away, or pushed Shizuo's hand away, but his limbs were frozen and he was rooted to the spot by the intensity in Shizuo's gaze.
"It's a pity."
…
…
The skin his fingers touched felt warm. The eyes his eyes met gazed at him directly. The body of the man stood steadily –
All culminating in a sudden epiphany –
- He really isn't afraid of me.
- I wonder…
- If we had met differently…would things have been different?
- Izaya.
…
…
"If you're saying it like that, then the future won't change."
The hand was removed from Izaya's cheek.
"And honestly I'm not sure how I feel about that now. Today…wasn't actually so bad."
Before Izaya could speak, Shizuo continued.
"But you're right. One incident won't change things between us so easily. So flea, after this, I'll be trying to kill you again. And knowing you, even if I wouldn't kill you if you stayed out of Ikebukuro, you'd purposely do something to piss me off so that I'd seek you out and kill you…for using and manipulating my friends."
"…."
"So I'd just take this moment to say, you're not as bad as I thought. Maybe if we had met under different circumstances, I could have actually come to like you, Izaya. Yeah so…thanks."
"You…what do you want me to say to that?"
"Nothing. You don't have to say anything. I'm just saying what I think."
Shizuo smiled wryly.
"'Cause I'm quite sure you'd make me kill you in the future, somehow, since you're the kind of man who won't change. And neither am I."
"That's why, I guess it's good to be able to have a moment of understanding before the inevitable happens. Because I can't control myself when it comes to you. And you know that right. So you'll make me snap, you'll make me angry until I can't even think of anything except for killing you…not even this time that we spent together where I got to know about you."
And as the man in the bartender suit said that, he reached out to ruffle the information broker's hair, knowing it would be the third and last time he would be able to do so.
…
- Yeah.
- This is fine.
- He's Orihara Izaya anyway
- He's the flea.
- Still…
- I never knew much about him, even though we've known each other for years.
- Even though he's one of the few people who've stayed in my life for years, no matter how much I've tried to literally throw him away.
- Until today.
- That…kind of makes me...happy.
- Because...
- It's as if...
This moment…
Is almost like the peace…
That I've wanted all my life.
Even if my body won't remember when I lose myself,
even if my mind forgets in my anger…
...
I know my heart won't.
…
…
Izaya was unaware of Shizuo's thoughts, yet he didn't push Shizuo's hand away or stab Shizuo with the switchblade he held in his hand.
There was a gentleness behind the touch of the strongest man in Ikebukuro that stunned even him.
He watched as Shizuo's hand slipped away, and he closed his eyes, a moment of peaceful silence lingering in the air.
He pushed his sunglasses up, and when he opened his eyes they were no longer soft and filled with fondness, but narrow and sharp.
"It's good that Shizu-chan understands. After all, we're eternal enemies, how relieving that even Shizu-chan's protozoic brain can comprehend that."
Izaya said confidently, but the doubt in his eyes showed.
"Yeah."
Shizuo said simply, and Izaya refused to feel daunted at his change in attitude and sharpness of the blond man's gaze.
…
Not wanting to be in the vicinity of the blond man's piercing gaze any longer, Izaya turned and spoke.
"Since I'm finally out of Shizu-chan's monster grip, I'm leaving. Hey Shizu-chan, even if you get drunk, it won't make you more human. It makes you like a dog actually, haha! So don't do it again alright? Especially if Simon offers – that man's more tricky than you think."
"Yeah." Shizuo said. "But who said I was drunk?"
"What?" Izaya turned in surprise.
Was the monster smirking?
"I said, who said I was drunk?"
Shizuo was definitely smirking.
"If you weren't drunk what could you be? Sober?"
Izaya said sarcastically, but Shizuo just looked amused.
"Why couldn't I have been sober?"
"Maybe you forgot in your drunkenness, but Kasuka-kun is the actor, not you, Shizu-chan."
Izaya said, annoyed that the monster wasn't making sense as usual.
"And you attacked Simon for getting you drunk. Or has your protozoic brain forgotten that?"
"Right. And why couldn't that have been an act? I could have asked for Simon's cooperation. To give you a show, flea."
"Seriously. I may be able to believe Simon can act – actually I'm quite sure he can act but you? You can't act - and even if you could, you can't act that well –"
Izaya said, conveniently forgetting how Shizuo had acted innocently as his secretary before.
"Who said I can't act?"
"Eh?"
"I was acting to get the information of your true feelings yesterday night, wasn't I, information broker Orihara Izaya?"
"….!"
Unfortunately for him, that 'forgotten' humiliating memory seemed to be replaced with another more humiliating one.
Izaya bristled in anger. He opened his mouth to shoot back a snarky reply, but Shizuo was faster in making his move.
"Izaya~"
"?!"
Izaya backed away from the suddenly smiling, sunglasses-lacking, happy looking monster who was very reminiscent of his first sight of that visage.
"Shizu-chan? I know you're acting so – h-hey!"
Izaya gasped in surprise as he was pulled into Shizuo's arms, and the monster began to nuzzle his neck, purring in his baritone voice.
"Flea mine~my flea~"
"Wha- I'm not yours!"
Izaya protested automatically, the distasteful memory of the nuzzling monster causing him to respond automatically as he struggled in Shizuo's arms, glaring at the blond.
"….Flea not mine?"
Shizuo suddenly looked downcast as he blinked his big eyes in question. Izaya stared, feeling heat rise to his cheeks.
"N-No…t…?"
He said, and Shizuo blinked again, then grinned in amusement.
"Flea mine." He declared, his voice stable and mature again, and leaned down and swiped his tongue over Izaya's neck, causing an outraged shriek from the information broker.
"You bastard! You were –"
"Pretending? Hah! Looks like you fell for it, huh flea?"
"I hate you! I hate you! You stupid, unpredictable monster -!"
"Aw, why so angry, Izayaaaaa-kuuuun….?"
Shizuo drawled, falling back onto the couch so that he was sitting with a flustered flea on his lap, struggling futilely to get out of the cage the monster's arms made and from the monster's tongue along his neck.
"Then that thing about repaying your debt, it was just pretense right?! You absolute –mf!"
"Shut up or I'll kiss you."
Shizuo said, and Izaya's face evolved to a whole new level of red.
"Don't you dare kiss me! I don't want a monster's –"
"-Taste. Or 'tongue in my mouth' Well I don't want to kiss a shitty flea either so shut up hm?"
Shizuo said bluntly, causing Izaya to glare as if he believed in Shizuo's theory that there was a 0.00000000000000000000675% chance of being able to kill someone with looks.
But he took pity on the flea who looked as if he was about to cry tears of frustration (Shizuo snorted at this thought) and spread his arms, and Izaya hopped out of them like the cowardly flea he was, tugging his jacket around himself and glaring as if Shizuo would touch him again.
Shizuo raised an eyebrow, and Izaya spat. "You're despicable."
"Look who's talking." Shizuo said, leaning back leisurely against the couch as he surveyed the angry flea with sharp, amused eyes. "I don't know what you're so angry about."
"You don't know-?! You –"
"I didn't say I wasn't drunk."
"….?!"
Izaya stared, and opened his mouth when Shizuo just sat there, smirking –
"But you said -
"Yeah. But I didn't say I wasn't drunk, did I?"
"...SO WERE YOU DRUNK OR NOT?!"
Izaya gave into the urge to yell in frustration, and Shizuo just looked at him with that same mocking laughter in his eyes –
"What do you think, flea?"
…
Izaya thought until his head hurt. He opened his mouth, but an answer didn't come out. Because there wasn't an answer in his head.
He gave the grinning monster his best death glare, then left to nurse his wounded pride from being mind-screwed by Shizuo of all people and get Simon to give him whatever memory inducing drug he had given Shizuo in the sake so he could give it to Namie and get her to make him a memory wiping drug –
To wipe his memory of this whole ridiculous event.
Though not before he got Simon to tell him whether he was in cahoots with Shizuo to humiliate him – he wouldn't put it past the big man who had been ready to punch him after the whole gang war and Slasher fiasco.
If he could even get Simon to tell him. Since the Russian was obscure and would brush his questions away with his broken Japanese.
Forget about essentially owing Simon (and Shizuo) his life. He was going to kill Simon if he was indeed in cahoots with that suddenly mastermind monster.
And if Simon wasn't in cahoots with Shizuo and Shizuo was not pretending and was just pretending that he was pretending, he was going to kill the mastermind monster. And then maybe kill Simon for allowing the whole situation to happen in the first place – even if he would have been killed had Shizuo not been there and he was killing the one who had allowed him to live.
- I am going to kill them both!
Izaya thought illogically in rage, stomping in annoyance out of Shinra's and Celty's house and glaring at anything and everything in his path.
…
…
"HAHA – HAHAHAHAH –"
"AHAHAHAHA – HA HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
The insane sounding laughter came from the blond man on the couch who had collapsed against it and was curled to the side, clutching his stomach.
"Ah…hahaha…hahahaha! Damn it! DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAAAAAAAMN ITTTTTTT!"
Those common curses words from the man in a bartender suit seemed to be expelled in an unusually elated tone.
Shizuo laughed to himself on the couch, taking quick breaths in an effort to calm himself down, from something that was for once not anger.
When all the amusement had been released, he sat up and tilted his head back with a smug smirk on his lips.
"Looks like I win, flea."
Shizuo grinned, licking his lips, thanking his brother in his happy heart for allowing him to observe his art of acting.
- I was right.
- Revenge sure is sweet.
…
…
"Haha! Hahahahaha! HAHAHAHAHA!"
In another part of the apartment, another man was laughing and clutching his stomach as he rolled on the floor.
"Oh my god that was so hilarious! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA CELTY SAVE ME I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!"
Unfortunately for the underground doctor in white, his lover in black couldn't save him because she was trembling too much.
"CELTY REALLY! HELP! I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE FROM LAUGHTER! HAHAHAHAHA! BECAUSE THIS IS EVEN MORE EPIC THAN THAT TIME SHIZUO ACTED AS IZAYA'S FRIEND IN FRONT OF AKANE-CHAN!"
Celty was still leaning against the balcony, her body shaking with her 'head' thrown back in silent laughter and her PDA nowhere in sight.
"My lovely Celty, remind me to never underestimate Shizuo again! I never knew he could be so crafty! So crafty that he beat Izaya in a battle of wits! Hahaha! Hahahaha! OH NO NOW I'M LAUGHING AGAIN! HAHAHAHAHA! Ugh –"
When Shinra started to make choking noises, Celty gathered herself and knelt down to the man in a white lab coat, patting his back and communicating to him –
[Are you alright, Shinra?! It wouldn't be a joke to die of laughter!]
Shinra laughed at this, but more lightly, as he spoke with a grin.
"Awww, Celty! Don't worry, I won't die so easily, how could I ever leave my beloved?!"
Celty just shook her neck as she and Shinra got up from the ground. She thought for a bit, then 'said' –
[I'm going to go talk to Shizuo for a bit. You sure you don't want to check on Izaya? Although it was funny, he seemed pretty mad.]
Shinra only chuckled at this with a grin.
"It's none of my business! It's pretty funny to see him so mad, ahhh but I must say, they were so close to getting along! Shizuo even said so himself! It's quite a pity!"
"Oh but as long as I have my lovely Celty, I don't really care! But it's like the butterfly effect you know? Like Shizuo said, maybe if they had met differently, they could have been good companions!"
Shinra said as he raved on as usual about his only two friends and their unfortunate circumstances which he himself had produced in a way that suggested he was enjoying it, as his lover looked on fondly.
[I don't like Izaya...and I don't know what he did but to have made Shizuo smile like that…maybe he isn't so bad. I've never seen Shizuo touch anyone so gently before.]
Shinra's grin widened at this –
"I'm telling you, it could be love – ow!"
[No it isn't! It's just f-friendship…potential!]
Celty thrust her PDA into his face, then walked away from the balcony, leaving a smiling Shinra rubbing his head as he leaned against the railing.
He turned, looking out into the city of Ikebukuro, and spoke as if questioning it –
"Ahhh….why is everyone I know so stubborn?"
His gaze landed on a black haired man in a fur rimmed jacket walking angrily, his hand twirling a knife between his fingers in his frustration, annoyance in his eyes.
The smile that crossed the lips of the man in a white lab coat seemed to be infused with secrets.
"Especially you…right, Orihara?"
…
…
…
[You look happy. Maybe you don't hate him as much as you think.]
Those were the words that were on the PDA shown in front of Shizuo's face.
Shizuo blinked, and Celty started at the words she had typed. She quickly deleted them and typed frantically –
[I mean, not that I'm suggesting you like him or anything! Definitely not! Just, it's rare to see you that happy. And from talking to Izaya, of all things.]
She 'said', nervous that Shizuo would misunderstand and fly into a rage at the mere mention of not hating Izaya.
But Shizuo only grinned.
"More like tricking him. But yeah I am happy. I'm damn happy damn it! 'Cause for once it's not me who's pissed off – it's the flea."
[Ah I see….]
"Should I try it?"
[Eh?]
Celty questioned at the feral grin on Shizuo's face.
[Shizuo…?]
She questioned, feeling as if the current Shizuo's thoughts were too fast for her to keep up with and comprehend.
"Pissing off the flea I mean. Yeah. Yeah! It's a much better alternative isn't it? Haha….HAHAHAHAHA! Ahhhh now I know what to do every time the flea comes to Ikebukuro – I'll just piss him off like he pisses me off! Izaya's a coward, and he can't deal with being annoyed and losing his precious control."
"And then, I'll get my peace."
[Right….well I'm glad to see you happy.]
Celty 'said', not really understanding the situation but feeling glad that Shizuo seemed to have come to a solution regarding Izaya.
Which really seemed to be the case, as Shizuo was grinning so widely even Celty felt apprehensive.
"Damn it. I never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait until he comes to Ikebukuro again. I'm gonna piss him off – bad."
…
And with that statement from the man in a bartender suit, Ikebukuro and its residents would soon be plunged into a cosmicality of a paradigm shift.
…
…
…
And that was how Heiwajima Shizuo got his flea-free week of peace.
Week since it would be a week until Izaya got his revenge.
Though that's an untold story as of now.
…
…
…
And that's the end! And no, there won't be a sequel, because I still have other stories and honestly, I don't think I will be able to do justice to this story with a sequel. I like this story as it is, in a kind of behind-the-scenes- in the setting of the novel that could have happened and may or may not have happened even in canon
(or at least I like to think so~)
Thank you to everyone who has read until the end! This story is complete, but not officially complete. It will only be officially complete with the timeline which I want to have up by the end of December.
And also, to those who know I took a hiatus to improve my grades and how important that was, well, I'm disappointed. It's irony again, I actually did worse than before my hiatus. Besides the obvious reason of stress and lack of time to study due to unexpected wisdom tooth + jaw problem/disorder/dislocation, I was just unlucky I guess. 'Cause in this competitive place, it doesn't just depend on how you do or how hard you work, it depends on how well everyone does as well. Like if you originally got an A but someone did better than you your grade will be reduced to A- or even B+. So...I didn't get a single A or even A-. Because there is a fixed number of people who can get A (and even A-), a quota you could say. And I guess I just wasn't good enough to meet that quota.
Ahh...anyway even though I didn't do well (worse than previously actually) I am still very grateful for your reviews which cheered me up :) It sounds repetitive, but really, thank you.
So right, with the timeline by the end of December and before the new year, this story will be officially complete (my first completed multi-chaptered story finally!). It's just basically recapping and revealing what happened behind the scenes and coincidences and all and it's long 'cause it has the yakuza groups and how Izaya manipulated them but I hope you will enjoy reading anyway :) Or at least, I hope readers will be able to understand the plot behind this complicated story much better once it's in chronological form.
Then, I will indicate that this story is complete in the summary, but I won't change the section to 'Complete' until I have the timeline done and up.
Ahhh...and even though I don't celebrate Christmas because my strict family doesn't, someone said something touching to me, that Christmas is not just about celebration and giving out presents but also about giving out best wishes and feeling thankful for what you have. So, that's what I want to say when I say - Merry Christmas everyone ^_^ Durarara! Season 2 is coming out next year, in January 2015, so let's look forward to the new year!
~ ZS Fan