[Chapter 23 : Sleepless in New York ]

Brian unlocked the door to her apartment and Olivia followed him in. After hanging up her coat, she headed straight for the couch and sank into it. She leaned her head back onto the back of the couch and closed her eyes. Brian saw that she didn't even bother to check the apartment and realized just how exhausted she must have been. He crouched down next to her.

'Liv, why don't you lie down properly and get some sleep while I make us dinner?'

She opened her eyes and slowly moved her heavy body into a position where she was totally horizontal. Brian gently took off her shoes and reached for the blanket and covered her with it.

'So tired.' She said softly.

'I know babe. Just get some rest and I'll wake you up for dinner. I promise I won't leave the house.'

'Thanks.' She mumbled.

Brian stayed next to her stroking her hair until her breathing evened out. He then went to sit in the chair opposite her. He took his head in his hands and wept. He couldn't believe what had happened today and that after she had just found her feet. He knew he loved her so deeply even deeper than he ever thought possible. With new resolve he stood up and walked to the kitchen to see what he could find in the kitchen to use for dinner.

Two and a half hours later, Brian was trying to keep himself occupied in the kitchen. But now he was hearing moans coming from the couch, he walked towards Olivia and he saw her in the midst of a nightmare. He once again knelt beside her and tried to wake her up.

'Liv, wake up for me, please.' He first tried to wake her by talking to her. 'Liv, its Brian. Please wake up.' He could see that this had no effect on her. He knew he had to touch her. Reluctantly, he knew this would startled her even more, he reached out and put his hand on her arm. 'Liv, wake up. You having a nightmare.'

Suddenly her eyes shot open, pulled her arm away from him and she grasp for air.

'Shhh. You are safe. You're in your new apartment, on the couch, and you just had a rest. You had a nightmare.' Brian could see Olivia was still confused and fearful after her dream. 'Just breathe, focus on your breathing.' He tried to coach her into a calmer state.

'I'm ok. At home with you. Alone.'

'That's right. Just take a moment.'

'Sorry.' She said softly.

'It's normal, babe. They will become less with time.'

'I know. It's just… hard.'

'I'm here. We'll get through this.' Suddenly a small smile appeared on Brian's face. 'Can I join you up there?'

She made place for him on the couch. They snuggled for a bit until Brian could feel Olivia relax.

'Hey babe.' Brian whispered after they had just snuggled for about half an hour.

'Mmm.' Olivia wasn't ready to let him go.

'You ready to have something to eat?'

'Not sure if I am hungry.' It was an old habit of hers too skip meals when she was stressed or upset.

'Please Liv. Just try a bit.'

'Okay, I'll try.'

Brian got up and warmed up the food and then be brought it to the couch. She sat up and put one leg under her and put a pillow on her lap. They kept the conversation light as they ate their meal. After supper they cleaned up and then Brian knew it was time he left.

'Liv, I'm going to go home now. You've had a rough day and I'm sure you want to get into bed.'

'Despite the rest I am quite tired, yeah.'

'You know that I sleep with my phone on right?'

'I know.'

'Can you promise to call me if you have a rough time?'

She looked down at her feet.

'Liv, I know you don't want to wake me but please call me. Otherwise I'll just lie there worrying if you can sleep.'

'Ok, I'll try and call.'

'Good. I'll see you tomorrow if our schedules allow.'

'Ok, let me know. Cragen gave me off until Monday.'

'Ok, I'll text or call you.'

'Good night, Bri.'

'Night, Liv. Hope you get a good night's sleep.'

Brian waited until he heard her lock and chain the door before he left.

Olivia heard that he had waited until she had finished locking the doors and it made her feel loved and cared for. She turned and put the kitchen and lounge lights off and headed to the bathroom where she started to run a bath.

Three and a half hours after going to sleep, Olivia woke up screaming for the second time. The hostage situation she had experienced yesterday was just aggravating her nightmares. Her therapist had warned her that this could happen but she felt angry that this guy had voided all her work over the last few weeks. She had only started to experience less nightmares and here she was back at the beginning again. She put on her light next to her bed, next she stacked her pillows behind her so she could sit up. She was about to reach for the book on her bedside table when she spotted her phone. She held her phone in her hand. Liv, I know you don't want to wake me but please call me. Otherwise I'll just lie there worrying if you can sleep. What Brian said kept replaying in her mind. She felt guilty waking him but she knew he would be upset if she didn't contact him. She opened her phone and began typing.

'Are u awake? Sorry if I woke u. Liv.'

She tried to convince herself that if he was asleep he wouldn't hear the message going through. She grabbed her book and started to get comfortable. Just as she opened the book her phone beeped. Now she felt so guilty.

'No problem. Nightmare?'

'Two in 3 ½ hrs.'

Silence. She thought that perhaps he'd managed to fall asleep. As that thought went through her mind, her phone lit up and her ringtone came to life. She answered.

'Hey Bri. I'm so sorry.'

'Liv, it's ok. I'm proud of you for calling.'

'But you have work in five hours.'

'I do. But I want to help. How bad were they?'

She stayed silent.

'Babe, tell me.'

'Don't want to.'

'Why?'

Silence.

'Babe, what's wrong?'

She started to whimper as she remembered.

'Liv, do you want me to come around? I will.'

'No.'

'Okay. Talk to me.'

'In the dream… y..you…you…'

'I was?'

'You were Lewis…' She was now crying. 'You were hurting me like he did.' She let out a heartfelt sob. 'I…I know you wouldn't but it felt so….real.' She said between her sobs.

'Liv. Will you please let me come over?'

'Bri, no. You have work at 7am.'

'Liv, please. I want to and I don't think I'll be able to sleep before I see you.'

'I…I shouldn't of phoned you.'

'No, Liv. You did the right thing. I won't come unless you say I can but please.

'Okay.'

'Thank you Liv. I'll see you in twenty.' The phone went dead.

She let out a big sigh, tossed off the covers and made her way to the bathroom. She used the toilet and then proceeded to wash her face before returning to bedroom to put a tracksuit on. She then went to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

Ten minutes later her phone rang.

'Hey babe. I didn't want to startle you by ringing the bell. But I'm at the door.'

'Okay.'

She unlocked the door, gave him a weak smile, and walked back to the couch. Brian took in her defeated and tired demeanour. She used hadn't greeted him like she normally would, she wrapped her arms around herself, and now she was sitting in the corner of the couch like a scared kid. He sighed. He went to sit across from her on the same couch, making sure there was enough space between them as not to make her feel trapped.

'Liv, I understand your dream.'

'You do?' She looked at him questioningly.

'Yes. You had a stressful day, we spent the evening together, and I was the last person you saw before you went to sleep. Babe, your mind is in overdrive.'

Olivia looked back at her lap to try and hide her tears.

Brian knew what she was doing. 'Babe, look at me.'

She wiped her face with her sleeve before turning her face to him.

'Olivia, I can't tell you how sorry I am you saw and went through what you did, but Liv I hope you know I would NEVER hurt you in the way he hurt you.'

This was the last straw for Olivia, she just collapsed into tears and sobs. Brian didn't know what to do. He sat there longing to hold her but he didn't want to encroach on her mourning. He knew that after her dream he could not reached out to her, she had to come to him. He just hoped being there was doing some good. All he could do is put his hand on the empty space between them. After awhile Olivia's crying started to subside and she started to hiccup, she reached for Brian's hand and pulled him to her. He shifted closer to him so she could lean back on him.

He let her sit like that for a while before he spoke tenderly.

'Liv, do you trust me?'

She looked at him with a confused look.

'Do you trust me not to hurt you?'

She looked away and gave a slight nod.

'Ok, come. I'll help you up. Come with me.'

Without another word he stood up, helped her up and guided her towards the bedroom, flicking off the lights as they walked. Brian guided her to sit on the bed as he threw off the pillows she had stacked up when she tried to read. As she lay down he gently covered her with the covers. As he stepped back she grabbed his arm.

'Shhh. I'm not going anywhere. You're safe.'

He went around the bed, grabbed an extra blanket from the lounge, took his shoes off and lay down onto top of her covers with the extra blanket over him. As soon as he was lying down, she scooted close to him and rested her head on his arm. He in turn started to play with her hair.

'Close your eyes. I'm here.' Were the last words she heard as she drifted into a relaxed sleep.