Ned
"I need to talk to you,"Ned says as he drags Moze up from her chair, leads her out of the gym and into the hallway.
He looks around for somewhere quiet to talk when he sees a door and goes in there.
Not realizing it the girl's bathroom.
He is thrown out a second later.
"Why does that keep happening?"Ned asks as he stumbles back to Moze who had waited outside.
"Alright, what do you want to talk about?"Moze asks.
"I was just informed, by Cookie, that you have a thirteen-year-old son,"Ned says trying to phrase his words carefully so they don't come out all at once.
"Yeah so,"Moze asks thinking he can't really be asking what she thinks he's asking.
"I need to know, is he mine?"Ned asks still a little bit in shock.
"Why, why would you think that?"Moze stammers as she starts to wring her hands, he was getting closer.
"The last time we slept together was thirteen and some months ago. When was your son born?"Ned asks needing to know for sure.
"Alright fine, he's your son. You happy now?"Moze asks not wanting to lie anymore.
"Why didn't you tell me?"Ned asks raising his voice.
"When I found out I was pregnant you'd already left for California with Kim, and when I told Jake he offered to marry me because he thought the baby was his. I wasn't sure, but I told myself that it was Jake's baby it had to be, but after he was born I knew. He looks just like you"Moze says smiling thinking of her eldest son.
"What's his name"Ned asks.
"Parker"Moze answers as she pulls her wallet out of her purse and a school picture of Parker.
"This was taken three years ago, he's changed a lot since then,"she says handing Ned the picture.
Ned takes it looking at it for a long minute and smiling,"I'd like to meet him"Ned finally says.
"I don't know if that's a good idea,"Moze says regretting telling Ned anything.
"What do you mean,"Ned asks confused.
"Look, I'm going through a messy divorce and it's hard enough for him right now, then to throw this on top of it. It's just too much,"Moze says not saying the real reason.
"Well if you're not going to let me meet him why'd you tell me,"Ned asks.
"I don't know, maybe because I was tired of keeping it a secret because I thought on some level you'd changed, but I was wrong your still the same selfish jerk you've always been,"Moze says getting angry.
"What the hell are you talking about?"Ned asks still holding the picture of his son.
"You left me for some blonde bimbo. You didn't even care"Moze says saying what she had been holding in a long time.
"Did I cheat on you with Kim, yes, but if you don't forget I also cheated on Kim with you okay, and don't forget Jake wasn't the only one who cheated"Ned says regretting the last part the second he said it.
"You don't know what you're talking about,"Moze says realizing he was right, but not wanting to admit it.
"Yes I do, you both cheated, you're both cheaters and do you want to know the difference between us,"Ned looking directly at her.
"What?"Moze asks.
"I owned up to my mistake, Kim knew all about it and she forgave me,"Ned says finally remembering why he loved Kim so much.
She knew he was human and that he made mistakes, but in the end that wasn't enough.
"Oh, did she, was this before or after she killed herself?"Moze asks.
"That is not why she did it okay,"Ned says raising his voice.
"Well I'm sure it had nothing to do with you,"Moze says without really thinking.
"It had everything to do with me okay, I worked too much, I was never home and she couldn't take it. That's why okay,"Ned says.
"This is so typical Ned, always having to be the center of attention,"Moze says.
"What do you want me to say?"Ned asks.
"I don't know,"Moze says.
"Do you want me to say that it was a mistake to pick Kim over you, well it was it's the biggest regret of my life,"Ned says, saying what he didn't say to Cookie.
The Truth.
"That's not what I meant,"Moze says.
"What did you mean,"Ned asks.
"I want an apology,"Moze says finally getting it out.
"Fine I'm sorry, there you happy now?"Ned asks raising his voice yet again.
"No, I'm not because I will never forget what you did to me, and stay the hell out of our lives,"Moze says before she runs off in the other direction.
"Moze, Moze,"Ned calls after her.
When she doesn't turn around he takes another look at the picture in his hand, the picture of his son.
Moze was right he looks just like Ned when he was ten.
This was a photo of the child he may never know.
Jen
Jen ran into the first available room the hallway over where she left Ned holding a picture of her son, their son.
She lets the door slam behind her, sits down on the chair right next to the door and breaks down in tears.
When Ned broke her heart all those years ago she swore she would never cry again, even after everything that happened with Jake, she hadn't shed a tear. Now her she was crying over the man who caused her to never cry again.
"Are you okay?"asks
a voice coming from the other side of the room.
"I'm fine,"Jen chokes and looks up.
There standing in the same clothes he wore basically every day she'd know him, was Gordy.
"Gordy?"asks Jen in disbelief.
"Oh my god Moze is that you,"Gordy asks pulling up another chair.
"It's Jen now, but yeah it's me,"Jen says wiping away some of her tears.
"What's wrong,"Gordy asks once again.
"It's Ned and all of his stupid crap,"Jen says.
"Yeah, I know Cookie has been texting me all night filling me in on what's doing on,"Gordy says taking an old flip phone out of his pocket.
"Well Cookie was right to tell you, I need someone to talk to and I don't want to explain everything,"Jen says still wiping tears away.
"You want to talk let's talk. What do you want to talk about,"Gordy asks still holding his phone.
"Well Ned found out that my son is also his son and..."Jen says before Gordy interrupts her.
"Wait so you and Ned have a kid together. Wow didn't see that one coming"Gordy says shocked.
"Ignoring that comment, Ned wants to see him, and I'm not so sure that's a good idea,"Jen says now having stopped crying.
"Well why not,"Gordy asks confused.
"Because it's too much. I'm going through a bad divorce and he's been through so much already I can't put this on top of everything else, and what would I even say to him. Parker your Dad isn't your Dad, your real Dad is the guy who broke my heart"Jen says fighting the urge to cry again.
"Look I get that this isn't the best time to tell him, but he has to know,"Gordy says putting his phone away.
"No he doesn't, I can just lie to him forever and keep up the charade that my jackass soon to be ex-husband is his father,"Jen says thinking that could work.
"Look Moze, Jen, I think on some level he already knows,"Gordy says remembering her new nickname.
"What do you mean?"Jen asks confused.
"Your jackass soon to be ex-husband and your son, are they close,"Gordy asks as if he knows what he's talking about.
"No, and since Parker found Jake in bed with that slut, they've barely spoken,"Jen says thinking of every insult Parker has said to Jake both to his face and behind his back.
"Do you have other children?"Gordy asks for some reason.
"Yes, we have three other children"Jen answers, still confused.
"And these kids are your husband's?"Gordy asks trying not to be rude.
"Yes of course,"Jen says, knowing why he needed to ask.
"Well has Jake ever unintentionally treated Parker differently than his siblings,"Gordy asks.
"Well yeah, Jake would take Alec or the girls to something even if Parker wanted to do something else more often than normal, but I tried to make sure that didn't happen too much,"Jen says thinking of all of those times in question.
"Okay one more question, do you or Jake look anything like Parker?"Gordy asks for the last time.
"He has my eyes, but no him and Jake look nothing alike,"Jen says thinking of all of the times that was pointed out to her, and all the times she covered for herself.
"Well with all of those things together, the thought has probably crossed Parker's mind at least once and from what you've told me I don't think he would be surprised or would mind if he found that Jake isn't his father. Plus he would love the idea of having a millionaire father in Hollywood. That's every kid's dream"Gordy says.
"When did you get so smart?"Jen asks shocked at what Gordy had just said.
"I started to take a psychology class at night,"Gordy says taking a book off of the table for her to see.
"Okay even if your right which I'm not saying you are what should I do?"Jen asks still looking at the textbook.
"Well you should tell Parker everything, well everything at a G rating, and then let him decide what he wants to do. Whether or not he wants to meet Ned or work on his relationship with Jake,"Gordy says putting his book down.
"Okay, I'll do that,"Jen says realizing she was actually going to do that.
"So are you going back to the party?"Gordy asks and looks like he is in the process of standing up depending on her answer.
"No, I think I'm just going to wait here for a while, so this whole thing can blow over,"Jen says fingering her purse.
"Alright I'll wait with you,"Gordy says sitting way back down in his chair again.
"You don't have to do that,"Jen says meaning it.
"Well I could go to the party, but then I would have a bunch of people I've cleaned up after asking if I thought them third period English,"Gordy says a little snippy.
"Okay, what do you want to do?"Jen asks realizing they had nothing to do besides talk about her messed up life.
"I have a tv and the complete first season of Ted's Guide to Surviving School on Blu-ray,"Gordy says pulling the DVD out of the cabinet under the tv.
"Sure why not, I'm probably going to get child support payments from Ned no matter what I do, so let's see what I'll be getting,"Jen says jokingly.
"That's the spirit,"Gordy says putting in the DVD.
Simon
Ned came back a few minutes after he dragged Moze out of the gym and went straight to the bar.
That meant either Moze's kid was Ned and they had a big blowout over the kid or it wasn't his kid and they still had a big blowout.
Either way, they had a big fight.
"So Parker could be Ned's son. Wow, I told you it was a good idea to come,"Lisa says after Simon fills her in.
"Well if I didn't come they would never have found out, they would have avoided each other the whole night and things would have gone back to normal,"Simon says looking at his wife hoping she would say it wasn't his fault.
"No honey, normal is the three of you best friends, not this,"Lisa says describing their current situation.
"That was the old normal, this is the new normal, the normal we have to deal with,"Simon says taking a sip of his drink.
"How did we get into this situation in the first place,"Lisa asks although she knew the story.
"Once upon a time during our sophomore year of college at Georgetown we met Kimberly Renee Adams, a transfer student from UCLA,"Cookie says finishing off his drink.
"What are you doing?"Lisa asks.
"Well you wanted to hear a story and this is how I tell a story so sit still and listen,"Simon says still in his story voice.
"Okay,"Lisa says in the voice she uses to tell stories to her kids.
"Anyway, Ned and Moze were still dating at this point and Moze's roommate moved back Iowa, so Moze and Kim became roommates, and since this was also around the time you were doing a semester abroad and I was a nervous wreck Ned spent a lot of time over with Kim and Moze,"Simon says.
"We're you really a wreck while I was in London?"Lisa asks, thus explaining all of the letters and phone calls she got.
"Don't interrupt the story, anyway when Moze's Aunt died she came back here for the funeral and Ned had to stay at school for a test, but he still hung out in Moze's room because I was still kind of a wreck, him and Kim got to talking and one night they got drunk and they hooked up. Ned felt bad so he told Moze and they broke up, but Ned and Kim started to go out so he was still always around even after Moze started dating Jake,"Simon says as the waiter refills his drink.
"This is like the plot of a bad movie,"Lisa says as the waiter leaves.
"I told you not to interrupt, anyway one night Jake and Moze and Ned and Kim both had big fights, Ned and Moze ran into each other at a party, got drunk and they hooked up in our room and that's how Parker may have come to be. Ned felt guilty, Moze wanted to know where that guilt was for her, then I came back from the library and got roped into the whole thing and there was yelling and throwing things and someone called the cops and we all spent the night in jail,"Simon says thinking of the worst night of his life, for multiple reasons.
"I can just picture you in jail,"Lisa says laughing at the thought.
"We're almost done so no more interrupting. The next thing we know Kim transferred back to UCLA and Ned went with her, then Moze was pregnant, she and Jake got married and she started working during the day and going to school at night. We just never saw each other after that,"Simon says finishing his drink.
"Is there any way we can get them back together?"Lisa asks thinking.
"That's up to them, and can I finish that,"asks Simon taking his wife's drink before she could say anything.
"Wait there isn't any alcohol in this. Why are you drinking a nonalcoholic"Simon asks before he asked again, "Wait, you bringing up the whole Daisy name debate again and now this. Are you?".
"I wanted to wait until I was sure,"Lisa says with a smile.
"We're going to be parents,"Simon says in shock.
"We're already parents, but yes we'll be parents,"Lisa says as she kisses her husband.
"And if we have a daughter we can name her Daisy,"Simon says still kissing her.
"Really,"Lisa asks exited.
"Think of it as my gift to you for working too much,"Simon says as they sit right back down in their chairs to face each other.
"Maybe by the time she's born, she could know her aunt Moze and Uncle Ned,"Lisa says hopefully.
"We can always hope,"Simon says watching Ned at the bar drinking his sorrows away.