AN- Hello! I'm back with more of the winter festival! There will be one more chapter about the festival before I fast forward a little. To the really heavy stuff. Shit is about to go down, in a few chapters. Be ready. Except I wasn't even ready so...
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"Drunk." Fili nodded, a little guiltily. Thorin rubbed his forehead and sighed. "How drunk?"
"Well...he's buried under four blankets and when I tried to light a candle, he shrieked, so...pretty drunk." Fili explained with a blush.
"You got your little brother wasted? What is your mother going to say?" Fili flinched and paled at the thought. It was the third day of the Winter Festival, and most of the Dwarves in the mountain, and the Men in Dale, were sleeping off hangovers. The partying would resume once the sun set, but for now a silence had settled over most of the two kingdoms as people rested. Thorin sighed again and gestured for Fili to go. "Make sure he drinks lots of water, and get some bread in his stomach." He advised as Fili walked away.
"Kids, eh?" Dwalin chuckled from his seat a few chairs down from Thorin. The King was trying to focus on the papers in his hand, but between Fili's little announcement about Kili's current state of inebriation and his annoying best friend, it wasn't going well. "I seem to remember yeh getting pretty wasted during the Winter Festival when yeh came of age." Dwalin added when it appeared Thorin wasn't going to acknowledge him. "I wonder if Dis has told Bilbo about that yet." He smirked, finally getting Thorin's attention.
"Why would Dis tell him-"
"Oh, she's been telling all sorts of embarrassing stories. Bilbo and Thranduil drink them all up, I've heard. As well as any others who happen to be nearby to hear. Bofur nearly peed himself the other night when she talked about the incident at the first Open Market." Dwalin himself looked like he was about to burst out in mirthful laughs. Thorin glared and gave up with the papers, instead turning to his "friend". Dwalin had always liked having a laugh at his expense, and Thorin was usually okay with that. Mostly because Thorin liked laughing at Dwalin as well. But Thorin was so not in the mood to be laughed at.
"Where is my sister?" He demanded.
"Somewhere with the lad, I'd suspect. Those two've become inseparable in a frighteningly small amount of time. I'd be worried if I were you." Dwalin remarked with a quirked eyebrow.
"I already am." Thorin muttered, standing and storming out of the mostly empty counsel room. He had a pretty good idea of where to look. He'd had Nori tail Bilbo and Dis for the last few days, and they pretty much only went four places. The library, the antechamber, the training ground, and a balcony a few floors above the royal chambers. Which Thorin had not visited yet, but he suspected he probably should soon. Who knew what the two devils were getting up to. Not that he thought Bilbo was a devil but...Dis.
Still, he checked the other three first before heading up to the mostly empty floor. The rooms were all renovated and cleared of the wear of time, but they were small rooms, meant for only one or two Dwarves, when most of the people who came to Erebor were in families. Thorin vaguely remembered reading a proposition to tear down walls and make two rooms into one larger room, to get more people in this floor. But it looked like work was slow.
The balcony Nori talked about was near the end of the hall, where no one lived, and had not been renovated after they took the mountain back from Smaug. It was definitely more of a ledge in the mountain than an actual balcony, which made Thorin even more suspicious about what Dis and Bilbo could be doing up there. He wondered to himself if he really wanted to know. Probably not, but he was already headed that way. He heard their voiced before he saw them. Bilbo and Dis. They were...laughing. And Thorin could tell it was a real, true laugh on Bilbo's part. It was...pleasant. Especially in comparison to his usual fake laughs.
"He really said that?!" Bilbo asked through his giggles.
"Honest to Mahal! My husband was not the smoothest Dwarf under the mountain." Dis replied, through her own chortles. After their laughter died down, Bilbo spoke again.
"You must miss him terribly." Bilbo said wistfully. Dis hummed quietly, and when she caught sigh of Thorin, she nodded to him. He stopped in the doorway leading out onto the balcony, not going any further, just watching and listening. He was...amazed.
The normal, boring balcony had been transformed into rows upon rows of a garden. None of the plants had sprouted yet, but Bilbo and Dis were sitting in an unrefined section of soil pulling weeds, making way for another plot to be tilled. Bilbo was facing away from the entrance, but Dis saw Thorin. Luckily, she just winked and went back to talking to the Hobbit. Thorin didn't know whether he should be terrified by the wink or not.
"I do miss him. He was a goof, but he was my goof. I believe I will see him again someday, in the halls of my ancestors, waiting for me and our children. But in the meantime, I am more than happy to remain here raising said children. And believe me, it is a full time job." Dis sighed in exasperation and Bilbo gave a little giggle.
"Then why do you spend so much time with me?" He questioned, though it was asked with a warm tone and what Thorin could only imagine was a soft smile.
"Because you're so well mannered and sweet and it's funny to watch Thorin try to keep them in control without me." Dis shrugged, and this time Bilbo full out laughed. "What about you? Tell me some embarrassing stories about your lovers." Dis implored and Thorin could actually see his blush reach the top of Bilbo's ears.
"I've never...had a lover." He admitted quietly. Dis looked probably more shocked than was strictly called for, but she quickly recovered.
"Never?" She demanded.
"I don't have time for a lover! I had work and my mother and more work! And besides, the only Hobbits I can really stand are all much older than me and already have families." Bilbo sounded uncomfortable talking about the subject, but he was bold enough not to back down from the topic.
"Seriously? You never did anything but work and spend time with your mom?" Dis asked incredulously. Bilbo shrugged, slowing his motions a little, apparently lost in thought.
"Between the thieving, murdering, and farming, I hardly had any time for even my mother. But there was one boy. Farmer Maggot's son, Jonas. I used to see him, while I was farming. He would bring me things, like lemonade or cookies that his mother would make. I thought, just maybe, he liked me. I was even thinking about asking him to get a drink sometime." Bilbo murmured in admission. Though his voice was sad.
"But..." Dis prompted, also hearing the sadness.
"But, I'm poor Master Baggins, living in a shack with my unstable mother. Not exactly courting or marriage material. He married a Brandybuck lass, last summer. They have a beautiful smial near Buckland, a gift from his father." Bilbo smiled at Dis, obviously a fake, strained smile, and he pulled especially hard at a weed. Dis glanced up at Thorin and they both frowned.
"Do you want to be courted? And married?" Dis asked. Bilbo froze and looked up at the sky, apparently contemplating it.
"I don't know. It's what every Hobbit wants, deep down, but I guess I've been so resigned to loneliness for so long that...it just doesn't seem plausible. Does that make sense?" Bilbo looked at Dis, who smiled encouragingly.
"But, what if someone here asked to court you? It wouldn't be a tradition Hobbit romance or anything, but if someone loved you..."
"Like who? I doubt it will happen Dis."
"Say it did though." Dis insisted, putting a hand on Bilbo's. "Do you really want to be lonely?" Again Bilbo was silent for a few moments before sighing.
"No. I don't. I doubt anyone really truly wants to be alone. But I've accepted it either way." Bilbo shrugged, patting Dis' hand before returning to his work, his mask back firmly in place. Dis glanced up at Thorin and shrugged, also going back to her work. Thorin waited a few minutes before clearing his throat as a way of getting their attention. Bilbo jumped and looked over his shoulder, his eyes growing wide when he spotted Thorin. "Your Majesty." He said softly, brushing his soil covered hands off on his trousers, which earned him a little stink eye and a mutter of, 'Those were just washed' from Dis.
"I've told you that you can call me Thorin." The King reminded him, but Bilbo only directed his eyes to the soil in front of him. "Your elder son saw fit to get your younger son wasted." Thorin told Dis, who only rolled her eyes.
"It was only a matter of time. I better get something starchy made for him to eat." Dis decided, standing and rubbing her hands to get the dirt to fall off her skin. Bilbo stood too, looking a little disappointed at having to leave his garden, and Dis looked pointedly at Thorin.
"If you wish to stay, Bilbo, I will sit with you." Thorin blurted out, and Bilbo turned wide eyes to him. Bilbo also looked at Dis, who smiled encouragingly, before he nodded at Thorin. Thorin didn't quite contain his sigh of relief, but if Bilbo noticed it, the Hobbit did not comment.
"I'll see you at the party tonight Bilbo." Dis told Bilbo, before squeezing his hand and walking away. Bilbo and Thorin stood awkwardly for a little while before Bilbo cautiously sat back down and began pulling weeds again. Thorin glanced around but noticed there really wasn't anywhere else to sit, besides the ground. He would have to have the craftsmen make some benches for Bilbo to sit on. But for now... Thorin squared his shoulder and took the seat Dis had vacated. He watched Bilbo's movements for a minute before trying his luck at pulling weeds. The first one he tried snapped off at the end of the stem, but none of the problematic roots came free like they did when Bilbo's pulled. The Hobbit giggled, and only then did Thorin realize he was watching him.
"You have to pull closer to the root, and with less force." He told the King before giggling again. Thorin could only stare blankly at him because...he laughed. He laughed, and he smiled, and it was real, and it was because of Thorin. "Here, let me show you." Bilbo grabbed his hand and moved it to another weed. He carefully curled Thorin's fingers around the base of the stem and then pulled, showing Thorin how much force to use. The root came free of the loose soil, allowing Thorin to be able to pull more of it out.
"I've never pulled weeds before." Thorin admitted.
"I guessed as much." Bilbo acknowledged, going back to his own patch of weeds. "It takes practice, which most people don't realize. Sometimes blunt force is needed, but more often then not, you have to find the right balance between your strength and the strength of the roots. Sometimes you need to be patient and use less strength, and sometimes you can just utterly destroy them." Bilbo told him, and Thorin suddenly got an image of an older version of Bilbo, sitting with a younger version of Bilbo, telling the Hobbit the same thing.
"Oin said that your father used to teach you about herbs. He taught you how to garden too, didn't he?" Thorin remarked, and Bilbo's hands stilled for a moment before continuing.
"Yes, he did." His voice wobbled a little and Thorin wanted to reach out to him, but stopped himself. "He wasn't the best gardener in the Shire, but he was always better than mother. He and our neighbor, Hobson Gamgee, used to talk a lot about gardening. And Hobson's son, Hamfest, too. I would sit next to him and listen, even though most of it wasn't interesting to me at the time." Bilbo told him, his eyes sparkling with memories from long ago.
"What happened to him?" Thorin asked, as gently as he could. Bilbo's eyes darkened a little and the small fond smile on his lips disappeared. Thorin began to think Bilbo wouldn't tell him, when the Hobbit sniffled and shrugged.
"The Fell Winter. A lot of Hobbits died, from starvation and the cold and the wolves that came into the Shire when the Brandywine River froze. My father was out, getting wood for our fire. He didn't come home, but mother said we should wait until the sun came up to go looking for him. She said he might have just got caught in a snow storm and decided to stay with a neighbor. When we found his body...there was blood everywhere. It made the snow look so bright in comparison. There was so much blood." Thorin felt his stomach twist and the urge to reach out to Bilbo came back full force. This time he heeded his feelings and softly put his hand on Bilbo's knee. The Hobbit didn't react at all.
"I'm so sorry." Thorin whispered, but Bilbo still didn't react.
"That was when everything started going bad. We hardly had time to mourn him when Lobelia Sackville-Baggins stopped by with a friendly reminder that she would buy our home in order for us to keep living. We didn't have much, after dad died, having to use all our money to pay for his funeral and for rations to survive the rest of the Fell Winter. Selling Bag End was the most logical way to get more money. And even though I didn't want to, mother still handed over the deed to Lobelia, that dreadful woman. She didn't even pay us what she said she would, but we had no way of making her give us the rest.
"At that time, fresh out of the worst winter the Shire has ever seen, it was every Hobbit for himself. They cheated and stole and stabbed each other in the back and didn't think twice about it. It only took a few months for us to end up in that horrible little shack. No one helped us, if they had the means. And the ones who wanted to help us had a way of doing so. I started working for Farmer Maggot, at a terrible pay, but at least it was something. Mother worked until her health started going, and when she got really sick, I started thieving as well. And then it just...got worse and worse and I had to do things that I didn't want to do, to keep her alive. I just wanted to keep her alive..."
"Bilbo." Thorin tried to tell himself that his voice did not crack, but who was he kidding?
"I had everything. And then in one year, it was all gone. I became the kind of person parents warn their children about. I became a monster." Bilbo muttered the last part, pulling particularly hard on a weed and ending up without the root. He stared at the weed like he wasn't sure what it was for a moment before curling his fist around it so tight that a little dribble of watery green liquid emerged from his palm and trailed down his wrist.
"All of that is in the past." Thorin said once he found his voice. Bilbo looked up at him with sadness covering every inch of his face, and practically flooding from his wide eyes.
"But it isn't. Do you think, if my father had lived, that I would be here right now? That I would know what Smaug looks like in human form? That I would know the exact pressure necessary to break a Man's bones?" Bilbo demanded, and Thorin clenched his jaw. "My past has created my present and every moment I spend in the present reminds me of that terrible past. It's very nice here, in Erebor, and there are so many wonderful people. But I am still a prisoner. I am still a thief who was caught trying to take the Arkenstone to Smaug. That is my present and it's my present because of what happened in my past."
Thorin had no words, which was infuriating since this was the moment where they would be very crucial. Bilbo was looking at him, pleading for him to say something. To dispute his words, or to agree with him. To comfort him or reject him. As long as he said something. But all Thorin could do was reach out and take Bilbo's clenched hand. He uncurled Bilbo's fingers, took the weed from the Hobbit, and then enfolded his hand between his two bigger hands.
"You are so much more than a thief and a prisoner Bilbo. And if you want to leave the past behind, you can. You just have to be willing to let it go, instead of holding onto it until it bleeds." Thorin told him, both of their eyes flicking down to the crumpled weed between them.
"How can I leave it behind when my only purpose in this mountain is to tell you whether your suspect is Smaug or not?" Bilbo questioned doubtfully. Thorin rubbed his thumb soothingly back and forth across Bilbo's wrist. Strangely enough, Bilbo actually seemed to relax from the repetitive motion.
"That takes all of ten minutes out of your day. What is stopping you for the other several hours?" Bilbo's brow crinkled and he opened his mouth a few different times before settling on looking away from Thorin, a small pout on his lips. "My friends and my family all care very deeply for you Bilbo. They can be your friends and your family as well, if you wish. That can be your future, and your present. What is stopping you from accepting them as they have accepted you? What is stopping you from smiling with your heart instead of just with your lips?"
"You of all people should know that forgetting the past is impossible." Bilbo snapped before he could stop himself. Thorin recoiled a little but kept a firm hold of Bilbo's hand.
"How much have the others told you about me?" Thorin asked nervously.
"Probably more than you would like." Bilbo muttered. Thorin chuckled shortly and waited for Bilbo to go on. "They told me about what happened to Erebor when Smaug came. And what happened to your grandfather and father. They said you stopped at nothing to reclaim your home and you almost died in the Battle of Five Armies. But if your past is now coming back to haunt you in the form of Smaug the Dragon...who is to say that mine will not? I have killed and hurt many people, even though I did not want to. I have cheated and lied and done too many terrible things to count."
"All of them for a good cause." Thorin remarked, but Bilbo only rolled his eyes.
"Not all of them. I keep trying to tell you, all of you. I am not as innocent as you all seem to believe. I have done and seen things that would mostly likely destroy other Hobbits. And in a way, they have destroyed me. I am a monster."
"I have never met a monster who gardens and reads." Thorin murmured, trying desperately to pull Bilbo out of his dark thoughts and mood. "We are all monsters, in our own ways. Some of us have done terrible things and some of us think terrible thoughts. Maybe I am more of a monster than you are. I was the one who starved and beat you." Thorin dropped his eyes to the soil between them, unable to bear whatever look would cross Bilbo's face.
"My shoulder is still a little yellow." Bilbo remarked quietly. Thorin felt guilt twist his stomach fiercely. "I was more hurt when I thought you were going to hurt my mother than any other time." Bilbo told him, and Thorin winced. "The fact that you are going to heal her, and bring her here where she will no longer suffer, more than remedies that." Bilbo added.
"I can never take back what I have said and done to you Bilbo. But I have been hoping and trying to make a better impression on you than the first one. I feel I am failing rather miserably, considering that most of our conversations end with you being angry or sad." He admitted, and Bilbo was a little shocked.
"Why would you want to make a good impression on me? I'm just a thief and a prisoner."
"I have already told you that you are more than that. Much more. And I do not know why exactly it means so much to me to change my ways in order to make you more comfortable. But I thought you should know that I do not try to make an ass of myself. It just sort of...happens." Bilbo couldn't help but smile at that, though Thorin was still looking at the soil and thus did not see it.
"It happens to the best of us." Bilbo whispered, and Thorin snorted.
"I must hold the record."
"We all have our troubles. I'm a murderer and you're bad at talking to Hobbits." Thorin glanced up at Bilbo, surprised to see a small smile on his lips. "Maybe in the future neither of us will be known for such things." He did not sound too hopeful, but the little bit of hope there was in his voice made Thorin's heart swell in his chest.
"I hope so Bilbo." Thorin said truthfully. Bilbo could only hold Thorin's gaze for so long before he looked away and cleared his throat.
"Well, if you want to stop putting your foot in your mouth, you could try talking about things that you like. People hardly ever make an ass of themselves when speaking of such things." Bilbo pulled his hand free of Thorin's and went back to pulling weeds, though he looked eager for Thorin to talk. The Dwarf King smiled and chuckled a little before starting on the weeds again as well.
"Is this your way of trying to get to know me?" Thorin asked wryly. Bilbo's cheeks warmed to a soft pink and he shrugged.
"I don't see why not." He murmured, not taking his eyes off his work. Thorin chuckled again and hoped that Bilbo didn't see the way he smiled at him. He would never live it down.
"Well, then, why I don't I start with something you may be familiar with. I actually happen to adore reading." Bilbo smiled but did not interrupt, allowing Thorin to go on. And Thorin did. They ended up talking, well mostly it was Thorin talking and Bilbo listening for hours. When Dis returned for Bilbo, she was a little surprised to see them in such an amiable state, and most of the weeds had been cleared. She smiled to herself and felt a swell of success. Oh yes. This was going to be a piece of cake.
OOOOO
Smaug considered carefully how best to get into the mountain. Of course, the most obvious answer was as a Dragon, the way he had last time. But Oakenshield and his counsel had implemented many new defenses since taking their mountain back. It was annoying. Of course, he was confident that he could get through the new defenses, with enough time and force, but he was more interested in a subtle approach this time around. Sending someone in for him had not worked. But going in himself was still an option. This would be the perfect time to do it too, what with the week long festivities taking place. Plenty of distractions for him to get in and get what he wanted.
The only thing he was still considering was what he was more intent on finding. The Arkenstone, or his little thief. If Bilbo was still alive, would he be in the dungeons? Or would Oakenshield be attempting to buy the Hobbit's cooperation with gifts and fine living quarters? More importantly, would Bilbo be bought? If so, then Smaug may have to kill the Hobbit. He didn't understand why he disliked that prospect so much.
In the end, it would not be his fault if he had to do that. Bilbo would force his hand, by being a traitor. Traitors were unacceptable. Though Smaug might be able to make an exception, so long as Bilbo was thoroughly punished and apologized profusely for his betrayal. If Bilbo promised to be good, Smaug would consider keeping him alive. He really did want a new pet to keep him company after he took the mountain back. And Bilbo would make the perfect little pet.
In any case, he needed to start making plans immediately. The celebration would only last for a few days more. And after it ended, it would be harder to get into the mountain. Even if he didn't find the Arkenstone on his first venture into the mountain, at least he could scout around a little. He doubted that, since Bilbo had failed, the Arkenstone would still be in plain sight above the throne. Oakenshield probably had it hidden away. He'd need to find it.
There was no doubt in his mind that he would eventually find it, and take back the mountain. He was not going to admit defeat, certainly not to the filthy Dwarves of Erebor. So what, his first attempt had failed? It was only to be expected, trusting in someone else to do his dirty work. He would not fail as Bilbo had. He was Smaug, last of the Great Dragons of the North. He had survived when the others had not, and for a reason. He was not going to let foolish Dwarves best him, not now and not ever.
Thorin Oakenshield and his filthy Dwarves would not know what hit them, after Smaug was done with them. He would aim to let none live this time, so none would be stupid enough to try to take vengeance a second time. Oakenshield would be the first to die, just to make sure. He could not think of a better gift to give himself. Except maybe the little thief. That would be a very nice present indeed. A very happy Winter Festival this was going to be, indeed.
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