AN: This will be the only update on this for a few weeks. I really need to concentrate on finishing up Ranger's Rangers.

Any recognizable characters are the property of their respective owners. This plot, however, is all mine.

"Mamamamamamam." I looked over at the monitor screen. Sure enough, little man was awake. I scrubbed a tissue over my cheeks and folded up the letter. I tucked it behind the flag case on the mantle and traced my finger over my husband's handsome face in our wedding picture.

"Mamamamamamama." He sounded a little more urgent now, so I hurried up to his room. Opening the door and seeing his two-toothed, drooly grin at my sudden appearance lifted my spirits like you wouldn't believe.

"Hey baby boy! How was your nap sweetheart?" I cooed at him.

"Mama!"

"Are you stinky? Do you need a new diaper?" He just smiled some more. He was standing against the side of the crib, hands outstretched waiting for me to pick him up. I carried him to his changing table and unsnapped his sleeper. He was growing so quickly that it was already time to retire this one, his poor little toes were all scrunched up in the feet of it. I managed to clean him up with only one escape attempt and sat down in the rocker to feed him. We were in the process of weaning him from three feedings to two, and sure enough after five minutes he was done and wiggling to get down. I set him down and fixed my shirt. He immediately crawled over to his crib, used it to pull up and toddled back to me, then tried to climb back in my lap without my help. We played this game at least three times a day. I think some kind of athletics are in his future, he'd rolled over at two months and hadn't stopped moving since! It was exciting to see him becoming a toddler. I was sad that his baby days were slipping away, but every day he did something new and more amazing than the one before.

I sat him on my lap and stroked his chubby cheek. He reached up and did the same to me.

"Mama!" He said delightedly. Smacking his little hand against me.

"Alex." I said touching his face softly. We were still working on being gentle.

I stood him up and blew a huge raspberry on his belly. I needed to hear his gorgeous laugh right now like I needed air. He didn't disappoint either, giggling madly. I swear it does something to me when I hear that. Like a bit of the heaviness that surrounds me most of the time flies away with each little giggle.

"Are you ready for your birthday sweet boy?" I said as I carried him downstairs. "Everybody is going to be here soon to see you. And you get to have your very own cake and presents from everyone! Do you know how much I love you? Mommy loves you, Nana and Nanny love you, Poppy and Grandad love you."

"Dadadadadadadadad." That had actually been his first real word a few months ago, it had nearly stopped my heart when he said it. I had been showing him pictures of his dad since he was just born, but I was still caught flatfooted when he first said it.

"Yes angel, Daddy loves you too." He squirmed and said, "dow!" so I set him down by his toys next to me and started working on icing the cooled cupcakes. He was babbling away to his teddy bear when the doorbell rang, so I scooped them both up and took them with me to answer it. I held Alex a little closer when I saw the tall silhouette through the screen door.

"Yes?" I didn't recognize him, but he definitely had a military bearing.

"Mrs. Morelli?"

"Can I help you?"

"Hi, I guess you don't remember me? I'm Lieutenant Manoso ma'am. I was in the same squad as your husband."

"Oh!" He looked between me and Alex for a second. "Is there something I can do for you Lieutenant?"

"I'm sorry ma'am. I see you're having a party today." He gestured to the balloons and streamers tied to the bottom of the front steps. "I don't want to intrude, but I wanted to come and check on you. See how you're doing. May I come in for a minute?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, I'm being rude. Of course." I held the door open for him. "Do you mind coming into the kitchen? I'm trying to finish getting everything ready."

"Not at all." He said following me down the hall and standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Would you like a drink? I've got all kinds for the party."

"Water would be great." I handed him a bottle from the fridge. "Thank-you ma'am." I was so not a ma'am.

"Please, it's Stephanie." He nodded.

"So this is your son?" He smiled at Alex. "He's very cute. His birthday?"

"Yep. My baby's one today! Right Alex?" Bouncing him on my hip. He gave me his grin and went back to his conversation with his teddy bear. "Are you no longer in the Marine Corps? You're in regular clothes."

"Not technically, I finished my last tour a few days ago, I'll be a reservist now. My family lives not far from here, but I wanted to stop and see how you're doing." He shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "Ummm…I thought you might have been pregnant the day I came here with Private Santos, but I wasn't sure." What?...Oh god! "I'm sorry for the way we told you about Anthony. I thought about better ways of breaking the news to you for months after." He said contritely.

"I'm sorry…What?" I sat heavily in one of the chairs, heart pounding with the realization of who this man was.

"We asked that it be us to come tell you. We flew back with Anthony's casket to be debriefed. We wanted to tell you what happened. We thought that if you heard what a hero he was, and how brave he was that it would make it easier to hear. He saved my life ma'am, Private Santos too and so many others. We were so wrong, you were so distraught I don't think you heard any of what we were telling you. I couldn't believe that I let you slam the door in my face. I wanted to call someone to come be with you, but I had no idea who. I knocked a few times, but I could tell you couldn't hear me. I could see you through the glass on the door, sitting at the bottom of the stairs. We stood on your porch until an older couple got here, your parents?"

"Ummmm…yes I think so." I had no idea what to say to this man.

"I think your mom understood right away. I couldn't tell her anything though. We had to notify your mother in law as well, but beyond that we weren't authorized to tell anyone. Your dad told us to leave, that they would take care of you…I'm so sorry for your loss. He was a really good man and it was an honor to serve with him." I felt rage bubble up inside me and set Alex down with his toys again. Walking past where he was still standing in the doorway and into the hall, I turned and let that rage flow right out.

"You're sorry?" I said quietly. "You're sorry? You come to my house on my son's birthday. My son, who lost his father before he was even born because he saved your life…to tell me you're sorry for my loss?" I had to close my eyes and breathe deep for a second to not scream at him and startle Alex. "You need to leave. I know I have no right to be angry with you, but you know what? I don't fucking care!" I was whispering now, hoping Alex couldn't hear me. I invaded his space and looked him in the eye, even though he was quite a bit taller than me. "Get the hell out of my house, now."

"Steph?" My mom was standing warily by the front door. Laden with gifts and party supplies. "Who's this?" She said looking at the lieutenant.

"I served with Anthony, ma'am. I'm Lieutenant…Carlos Manoso."

"And he's just leaving." I said firmly.

"Stephanie!" My mother exclaimed, shocked at my rudeness.

"No ma'am, it's fine. I was just about to go." He turned to me. "I really am sorry. I'm going to leave my contact information here. If you need anything, please let me know." He placed a card on the hallway table and quickly left, and I found myself, once again, slamming my front door shut on him.

AN: So, I just couldn't kill Ranger. I just couldn't do it! Also he's a marine. Have you ever seen those boys in their dress blues? Google it if you haven't…so yummy!

I sucked at review replies this week, I'm having TMJ issues and the meds my doc gave me have been zonking me out early every night. I'll work on them now.

Thanks for reading,

EA xoxo