After hours of restless tossing and turning, Eren Jeagar finally gave up his opportunity to get some sleep.
To be honest, he's been worried about his blonde best friend. He had been acting out of character as of late; not talking very much, avoiding his friends, especially Eren and Mikasa; not eating at meal time, and other things that didn't seem like Armin. He had to have lost twenty pounds. At least.
The small blonde's uniform was baggier than ever, which was saying a lot. Eren had started to notice how the blonde's skills and training had began to lack when the teen arrived to class forty-five minutes late, his eyes bloodshot and skin a sickly pale. The bags under his eyes just seemed to add to his weary form. Eren kept trying to see what was bothering him, but Armin would just give hima small smile and reasuured him he was fine, there was nothing to worry about.
"Bullshit," muttered the green-eyed teen as he hit his palm against his forehead. He glared down at the throw blanket that was tangled around his legs, all his annoyance and worry building up until he let out an annoyed yell, kicking the dull piece of frabric off.
He was going to find out what was wrong once and for all.
Once he finished tying his pants' strings so they hung loosely around his hips, Eren was ready to sneak down the hall to Armin's room.
'Why does it have to be all the way down at the opposite end of the hall?' The teen thought to himself as he slipped out his door, closing the old wooden menace as quietly as he could manage.
Just as it was about to click shut, it gave a long, agonizing groan of protest that echoed throughout the castle's sleeping halls. All blood stopped cold in the teen's rapidly pounding chest. He waited for a few moments, not hearing a sound, before silently walking his way to his best friend's room.
"Room 163..." Eren grumbled to himself as he struggled to read the black chipped, painted on numbers.
Once he made it to the door he was looking for, he silently managed to open it and slip inside. His eyes were glued to the floor as he closed the wooden door that seperated him from the outside world of training, and the personal living of each soldier.
Wide green eyes took in their surroundings, taking in every detail he could. Which honestly wasn't very much. The candle on the nightstand wasn't lit; the only light there was, was that of the full moon. After several moments of silence, Eren had figured the blonde was asleep, which wouldn't surprise him seeing as it must have been near four in the morning.
The teen sighed, a frown settled on his lips. He took a step back towards the door when a choked, almost silent sob, stopped him in his tracks.
Turning to face the direction the sound had come from, Eren's eyes had finally adjusted to the dark, and he let out a loud gasp.
On the bed sat his childhood best friend, covered by a deep, dark liquid that seemed to seep from his pale, thin arms that rested limply in his lap. The blonde shuffled on the sioled mattress, looking over at Eren with empty, sad eyes. The blade that had once been resting in his hands fell with a soft 'clink' onto the cold cement floor. The only sound that broke the silence.
Eren stared at his friend in horror.
His long shaggy blonde locks were a mess that fell upon his angelic face, sticking to his tear-stained cheeks which looked almost a ghostly white in the moonlight. Eren's turquoise eyes locked with Armin's icy blue orbs; he could feel Armin's pain. Just by looking at him he felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach. His cheeks looked so thin, he could almost see his jawbone.
As his eyes traveled down passed the blonde's face, he could see Armin's usually neat and clean white shirt was now missing its buttons and was wrinkled. The sleeves were shoved up to his elbows, his wrists a dark shade of crimson, soaking up his arms, lap, and bedding.
'Cuts.'
A small whimper escaped the smaller boy, and before Eren could help himself, he was across the small room in three large steps, enveloping his small form into his arms, his hands resting on his back as he pulled the blonde close.
What was once a silent room, was now filled with loud sobs of a young broken soldier. Armin wept into Eren's shoulder, soaking the other teen's shirt. Eren didn't care.
The older teen stroked the blonde's hair softly, shushing him gently.
"Armin... You need to look at me." The blonde shook his head, a loud broken cry slipping passed his lips. His grip on ERen's shirt was tight, his knuckles a milky white. No doubt his shirt was ruined now.
Eren took both of Armin's shoulders in his hands, gently shoving him back enough so he could see the younger teen's face. "You need to calm down and look at me!"
His harsh tone caused the small teen to snap his attention up at his friend, eyes swollen from his tears. "But... But I killed, killed our.. Friends." More sobs escaped Armin as his hands came up to cover his eyes, his small frame crippling over as he sobbed. "I... I'm a murderer! I killed our friends! T-They're dead because of me! Minna! Marco! Hannes! Who will be ne-!"
Before he could finsih, soft hot lips were forcing him to stay silent. Hot, sticky tears dripped off Eren's lashes and onto Armin's smooth cheeks.
Silently, Eren pulled back just enough so he could look deep within Armin's gorgeous ocean eyes. "Don't.. Don't you dare finish that sentence.."
The once harsh voice was replaced with a low, pained beg. Eren's torquoise eyes were stuck to Armin. The pain they both shared cutting through their beings like a paper cut.
Armin looked up at Eren and slowly felt himself coming undone once more. Tears brimmed his eyes as he used the back of his stained sleeve to wipe his nose. "I... I don't want to be responsible anymore...! I've hurt so many of our friends!" He fell forwards into Eren's chest, his arms holding loosely to the older teen's shoulder as his body quaked from his sobs. His throat was sore from all the cries, nose red from a runny nose, cheeks stained from tears. Eren just shushed him, stroking his back as he rest his nose against the other's forehead.
"Armin.. You need to listen to me. None of that was your fault. They joined the army to help save humanity; like you and I." His green orbs looked down into Armin's blue as he stroked some hair out of the blonde's face. "You aren't responsible for what happened. None of them would want to see you broken and torn like this..." He quietly murmured into the teen's hair, reaching down to gently hold the younger teen's hands.
He turned the blonde's hands over, glancing down at his wrists to take in the damage. He winced. Long and short red slashes ran up and down his pale wrists, red coating his porcelain skin and clothing. Eren gently knocked his knuckles against Armin's head before unbuttoning the blonde's shirt and pulling it off his shoulders. Tossing the ruined shirt aside, he got up and walked over to the nightstand which had a glass of water. "I hope you don't mind..." He trailed off as he picked up the glass, walking back over to the bed.
Eren motioned for Armin to stick his arms out, which the teen did after a few moments of hesitation. The brunette tore off a piece of his shirt, watching Armin closely as he dipped the cloth into the cool water, allowing it to soak up the liquid. He then took one of the other teen's arms gently, and dabbed away the blood, recieving a few whines and whimpers from the hurt teen. "E...Eren... It hurts..."
The teen glanced up at him, almost dumbfounded. "You did this to yourself, Armin. Of course it will hurt! Why... Why would you even do this?" He quietly shut his mouth, going back to work as he dipped the now soaked cloth into the glass once more, the water turning a deep red. After several moments of silence and cleaning, Armin finally spoke.
"I heard voices... I heard you. I heard Heichou. You all told me I could stop it... I couldn't take the voices..." Armin's voice wavered for a few moments before a single tear slipped passed his eyelids.
Once more, Eren took Armin into his arms, pulling him to him so the small teen's back was pressed against his chest. "Armin, those voices aren't me. They aren't Levi. Don't listen to those voices, listen to mine. Right now." He leaned Armin's head back so he would look up at him. "Listen to me, please..."
The blue eyed teen nodded, keeping his eyes locked with Eren's. "I'll listen to you."
Eren nodded, pulling him closer as he leaned down to kiss Armin's temple. "I don't know what I would do without you. You've always been there for Mikasa and I. You went through all that training to be here with us now. I don't want you to kill yourself. I want to wake up knowing that I can see your smile every day." He leaned down to kiss the other's lips gently, yet full of passion and pain.
It startled the blonde for a moment, his eyes wide. Slowly, Armin's icy orbs slid shut, and he leaned into the kiss. Tears spilled down his cheek as his small body began to shake in Eren's arms. All the pain, hurt, regret; everything, was being sucked out of him in one tender kiss. It was being replaced with warmth, acceptance, friendship; love. His feelings for Eren were always something he kept to himself, never thinking the brunette could return his affection. But deep inside, Eren worried over the same exact thing.
As the two pulled away, lips swollen, Eren looked down at Armin with deep affection. "Armin, I care for you. I can't let you do something like this again. Promise me you won't. Promise."
Armin nodded, a small smile on his lips as he brought Eren closer, turning around so he was on his knees in front of the taller teen. "I... I promise, Eren.. I won't do anything stupid. I want to be able to see everyday. I want to feel those kisses against my lips. I want to be loved..." He glanced down at the ground, fumbling with Eren's shirt nervously.
Eren laughed quietly, pulling Armin into another heated kiss, his hands on the small blonde's hips. Pressing his tongue against the blonde's lips, the other teen's cheeks flushed as he opened his mouth slightly, enough to grant Eren permission. With a gentle shove, Armin fell back on the bed, using his elbows to prop himself up as Eren leaned down, not once breaking the kiss. His tongue traveled around Armin's mouth, sucking playfully on his tongue, earning a small mewl from the teen beneath him. Just as he was getting into the kiss, Eren pulled back, a string of siliva connecting them. "Let's get those cuts wrapped up, okay?"
Armin nodded, face flushed as he bit his lip lightly. "Yeah, let's do that."
Author Note!
So, this isn't the best chapter. ;-; But, I promise it'll get better! ^^
Lemon shall be ahead!