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Waiting You

Chapter 2

Original fic by: mystic rei

Translated by: Miharu Midorikawa

Shingeki no Kyojin belongs to Isayama Hajime

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Rivaille's POV

Just a few peoples know that my feelings towards Eren Jaeger. A boy that a few years younger than me, a boy that have a power to change into a Titan, and a soldier working under my responsibility. I don't have to explain how Irvin knows it, he already understands me in and out since long ago. Hanji, I guess she knows when looking at my gaze when I saw Eren.

In the past, Mikasa suspecting me before eventually she figured it out herself. And I guess so was Armin.

For the first time, I just interested in his strong desire to kill all of the Titans in this world. The determination on those emerald green eyes is not half-hearted. That courage is the one who pulling me into him.

And then, that 'interested' feelings grows wider. I want to see all of his expressions. But why if I makes him bothered?

I always talks to him with... inappropriate language, makes him works just to order him to do it again and again. I even make his training to be difficult. All of it I do to test his determination as the member of Scouting Legion. I realized that he becoming stressed and begin to avoiding me. And... Looks like he's become afraid when looks into my eyes.

"Don't too harsh to that boy." Said Hanji warned me. I guess she's worried about Eren- who's trying desperately to stay away from me.

When Eren tried to avoiding me... Why that makes me feel... lonely?

I don't really have a close relationships with other people since long ago – okay, except Irvin and Hanji because they are a weird people who's kept approaching me – and the reality, I got lonely because some brat doesn't want to stay close with me...

...weird, right?

Unconsciously I kept approaching Eren again in the next few days. I give him some compliment after he finished his task well. I ordered him to rest after I saw him exhausted. I controlled my words to not hurt him.

And my relationships with Eren slowly become better. And that makes me relieved...

...and happy.

I'm happy to makes him smile. My hearts beating faster than usual when I'm besides him. I don't like it when other people get closer to him.

Dammit, dammit, dammit. What is this feeling? I'm confused,

Slowly I take a distance between Eren. I just was staring at him from a long distance. Maybe...maybe with that these feelings will go away.

Until someday, I've become really frustrated. And all of it I directed to the object that makes me likes this. In some mission he ignored my orders to stays into that position- because that's the safest place. But he move forwards instead for saving a soldier that almost get eaten by that stupid Titans and he got himself a few wounds. But those wounds healed really fast because of his strange power.

But, orders are orders. Ignored it are some intolerable things. I got really mad; I scold him really bad and locked him up in his room in the dungeon for straight two days. After that he responsible for the horses in the ranch for a week.

He's being punished.

Eren apologized to me dearly. I guess he understands the consequences and takes the punishment with open hearted.

"Have a good rest, Corporal."

I don't answer it.

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Night has come. I can't sleep. I've began to think that my punishment are too harsh for him. But orders are orders. Rules are rules.

Why I can get this mad? Even thought that soldier who's almost gets eaten by Titans is ended up safe. If Eren's doesn't save him, maybe he's just a name by now.

Maybe... I, honestly... worried about Eren to get wounded – or even ended in Titan's stomach?

Some feelings bursting on my chest. Ah, so that's right. I'm worried.

I'm worried about Eren's safety. I don't want to see him hurts.

Eren...

Tch. What have you done to me, huh, brat?

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In the third day of his punishment day, I came to see him. I see Eren when he's feeding the horses after cleaning the ranch. I let out a little cough to catch his attention. He turned around and seems surprised, but he quickly saluted.

I check his works. Hm, not bad.

"Says, Eren."

"Y-yes, Corporal?"

I take a deep breath. "Why...why are you really obsessed to kill all of the Titans, Eren?"

He surprised for a moment there. With little awkward he answered, "Because I want to see the outside world, Sir."

I raised my eyebrow, "What makes you want to go outside?"

Eren's gaze become soft, looks like remembering some nostalgic memories, "One of my friends – Armin Arlert, when we were young he shows me a book – his parents book – about the outside world. And from all of the pictures and descriptions, I thought the outside world is an amazing place. Really different from the one inside the walls."

"Is that so?" My lips turned into a thin smile, really thin. "Explain it to me, Eren."

"Y-Yes, what I saw from that book is a place that covered in sands. They called it 'desert'. Then, there's a place that covered in ice all years. There's water than burnt, the name is 'lava'. Oh, and what I like the most is where the whole place is salt water, Sir. It's called 'sea'."

I just stare at him. Eren's face looks really bright when told me about the places in the outside world. Some peace feelings I feel when see his smiling face. After all he's just a 15 years old teen that still naive and have a big dreams.

And I will makes his dreams come true with all of my strength.

"Corporal, the outside world is really beautiful!"

I can see it in those pure emerald orbs. That beauty.

"Someday, let's explore it together!"

Yes.

Someday, Eren.

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Since that day conversations, I pay more attention to him. I have to admit it... that he's succeeded stole it from me.

The 'interested' feelings then changed into a curiosity, and then become like. And that 'like' feeling become stronger and turned into love.

But I never say it. I'm afraid that Eren will get a bad influence if he has some special relationships with me, especially from the Military Police that also watching him. I buried my feelings deeper as I can and just stares at him from far away with a lonely feelings in my heart. I jealous of Mikasa who's really obvious that she's love Eren as a man – not as a brother.

I want to protect Eren, brushed my fingers against his cheek, caressing his hair, hug him, kiss him, and love him with all of my heart.

But I don't want him becomes hurt. That bastard people from the Military Police threatened will takes Eren away if there's something happened here. Scouting Legion are not allowed to act gently to him, what's going to happen if they knows one of the leader – the most strongest soldier even – falls in love with him?

That will break my impressions that I made from the past trial that I will kill Eren instantly with my hands if that half human-Titan is out of control.

But... now, can I really do that?

No, NO. Sees Eren with a bandage covered his wrist after got back from a missions is enough to makes me not focus with my job-

-Moreover killing him?

I'm sure I'll shatter into pieces.

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I know that this love is forbidden. I know what I am doing. Irvin and Hanji trusted me. They already know about my feeling towards Eren.

But I can't avoid these jealousy feelings every times that girl – Mikasa really closes to him. I saw her hugged Eren. I really want to go there, hug Eren tightly, and claimed him that he's mine only and kissed his lips in front of her.

But, that's just my imagination and maybe never will come true. I just can smack his back side of his head. Or lay my hand on his face much longer than it should be when I treated the wounds on his face. Check his hands that usually he bites for transforming so I can hold his hands. And escorts him to his underground room just so I can to be with him much longer.

I guess Eren still doesn't realize to all of my gestures that I gave to him. He's still look at me as the superior he's respected.

No more. No less.

Hey, Eren, when will you notice me?

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Until the end, I just can wait. Waiting for him to realize this bursting feeling of love. The feelings that should've not exist.

And until now, I'm still waiting.

I wake up from my dream. Ah, so beautiful. A dream that I saw him still moves freely on outside, smiling brightly, burned with passion, lending your hands to me.

I stared at my surrounding. Looks like I fell asleep in this room. I divert my gaze into Eren's sleeping figure inside that ice. So peaceful.

Not moving.

Not waking up.

Single trail of tear slides down to my cheek. I brush my fingers to the ice's surface and caressing it slowly, watching him with a pair of dull eyes.

"I miss you, Eren."

Sees your different expressions face. Your lively moves. Your voice. Everything about you.

"I'm here, Eren. Wake up. Get out from there."

Still no reactions I've got – I knew it from the beginning. But let me soared this grief of mine in this dark room.

"It's cold in there, right? Come out, I'll hug your body until you feel warm."

And still answered with the silence.

"Are you afraid, Eren? Come out, I'll protect you."

A hoarse voice can be heard – my own voice.

"You want to see the outside world, right? Come out, I'll go with you exploring it wherever you want."

My legs feel numb, and I let myself fall into the dusty floor – seeing this cruel world. The cruelty of the world – that makes Eren suffers like this. And turn me into a pitiful human with this unrequited love.

"Come out, Eren...I beg you..."

And still no one heard my hoarse voice begging Eren to come out from there.

To be Continued

A/N:

Arrghhh, my heart! Poor Rivaille :'(

Review please :')

P.S: Mind to read my other SnK fic? It's called Reveal My Secrets. It's LevixEren fanfic, come by to my profile if you have time. And, there's a G27 fic too (Katekyo Hitman Reborn fic), the title is Loving You, interested?