AN: For my Ranger's Rangers readers, we have another game 7 against Pittsburgh tonight. Can I get a big LET'S GO RANGERS!? I want them to advance to the Eastern Conference finals so badly!
Thank you for all the love all three of my stories are getting. You guys are the greatest!
Any recognizable characters or places are the sole property of their respective owner. No infringement is intended. This plot, however, is all mine.
RPOV
That Friday night had been pretty emotional for both of us. I hadn't meant to come on so strong, but feeling her curled up at my side and touching her silky skin was driving me crazy. She was so soft and smelled amazing and I was fucking itching to kiss her, I lifted her chin up and I could tell she knew what was going through my mind.
"Steph, I…" I swallowed hard. "I really need to kiss you right now." I watched her eyes darken and her breathing pick up, and for one glorious second I thought she was going to let me and then I saw her refusal before she even said the words.
"I don't think I'm ready." She whispered, her eyes already brimming with tears. "Please, don't" hearing the desperation in her voice was like a punch to the gut. I must have looked pretty pitiful because she kneeled up and held my face in her hands, "Don't do that either. Please? I really want you to too." A fat tear broke free and started to roll down her cheek and I felt like the world's biggest asshole. "Just not yet. I'm sorry. I'm not ready."
"Don't apologize. I'm not trying to pressure you, but you should know how I feel." Here she was still trying to get over the death of her husband and I was only thinking about myself and what I wanted.
"I'm sorry." She choked out and then she really broke down.
I pulled her into my lap and held her tight, trying to soothe her, but she just cried harder. I felt so fucking useless.
It took a solid ten minutes before she started to calm, her breathing evening out, but still hitching.
I felt too much for her to let this go though, so I let her know that I'd wait as long as she needed. I wouldn't push again. I made a promise to myself that I'd wait for her to initiate anything that might happen between us. I know she felt it too. I just had to be patient and give her time.
Forcing myself to let go of her that night wasn't easy. The only thing that got me moving was the prospect of that long solitary drive in the morning on very little sleep. But at least I'd had a lot to mull over on the way there.
I called Steph as soon as I parked in the small lot next to a rustic looking log cabin.
"Hey." She answered softly.
"Hi." I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face. Hearing the affection in her one word greeting warmed me all over.
"I'm here."
"You okay?"
I blew out a sigh. "Yeah, just nervous."
"Why?"
"Because I don't know what to expect. I don't want to have a dream here and freak out." What I didn't say was that I didn't want to be this far away from her and Alex.
"Will you come by here tomorrow night?"
"It'll be late. The agenda they emailed me has me doing a 'group session', whatever that means, at 6:30. I wouldn't get there till 10:00 at the earliest.
"I don't care what time it is. I'll be up anyway."
"Why, you worried about me?" I joked.
"Yes." She said simply.
"Babe." I didn't want to become too dependent on her, but damn, it felt good to have her in my corner.
"What? I can't be worried about you? Alex is going to miss you for dinner tonight."
"Just Alex?"
"Well, maybe me too." She said quietly.
"I'll be there tomorrow night. I'll miss you two too. I should get in there, Steph." I said, looking at the large cabin in the clearing, feeling my stomach start to twist. It was the same feeling I got when I went to see Dr. Rosolli, just magnified by a hundred.
"You'll be okay Carlos. I researched this organization. They do some really good work. It seems like you've already improved to me with the few sessions you've been to."
I knew she'd balk if I told her that she was a big part of that so I just said goodbye instead. Promising her I'd call her before I left tomorrow night. As soon as I stepped out of the car I was assaulted by the scent of bacon cooking. With my queasy stomach I couldn't decide if this was a good thing or not. The door of the cabin swung open as I climbed the steps and an enormous guy stepped out.
"Lieutenant Manoso?" He drawled.
"Yes."
He stuck out his hand and introduced himself. "Pierre Charbonnet. We spoke on the phone."
"Nice to meet you sir."
"We try not to be too formal around here. You can call me Tank, everybody else does." He rumbled in a Cajun accent. "There are five other service members here this weekend, so we're pretty full. Hope you don't mind bunking with someone."
"No. Not at all." He clapped me on the shoulder and steered me into the dining room. He introduced me to my bunkmate and the other participants, two women and three other men. Almost everybody looked like I felt, nervous and apprehensive.
"Alright everyone dig in. We have our hike scheduled for 9:30 and you're going to need to fill up. I have some MREs in my pack, but we won't be back for at least six or seven hours." This wasn't a foreign concept for me. We'd been on maneuvers that took significantly longer than that. Most of which involved some level of hunger. I sat at the table and said hello to the woman to my left, realizing after a minute that she had a really high-tech prosthetic arm. She was the only one at the table with an obvious physical injury.
"Hi, I'm Allison." She said after catching me rudely staring at her robotic hand.
"Sorry, Carlos."
She smiled at me, "Go ahead, you can ask."
"How did it happen?"
"IED. Our truck rolled right over it. I was thrown from the vehicle, lucky really. There wasn't much left of the jeep." The smile slid from her face and I could tell she was back there, but she didn't seem to be about to break down. She looked down at her plate momentarily, by the time she looked back up she had collected herself. This is my third time here, so if you need any help or anything. Come to me, okay?"
"Yeah, thanks." I highly doubted it, but it was nice of her to offer.
We all chatted while we ate. Allison was the only one who wasn't a first-timer. She gave us the run-down on what usually happened. Most of the weekend's activities had been set for outside and thankfully after the ice storm, the weather had improved significantly enough to actually enjoy them.
That long trek up the mountain was exactly what I needed. We were surrounded by nothing but trees and birds. The peak was fairly high, but the climb wasn't steep and we reached the summit in about two and a half hours. We broke for lunch and ended up divulging the reasons why we were all here. Most of the stories were similar. Collectively we'd seen some truly horrific things. I was just happy that I didn't have an anxiety attack while we were all talking. It really did get slightly easier every time I told my tale. I never gave out all the details, but this time I didn't sweat or feel like I was going to lose my lunch. The rest of the weekend passed in a similar manner. As a group Tank had us participate in different activities, we completed an obstacle course that was nothing like the ones we had to do at Parris Island. This one focused on team work and we all grouped together to help Allison climb a twenty foot vertical wall despite only having one true functional arm. I needn't have worried that I was going to have a nightmare while I was there, the sheer amount of exercise I had gotten knocked me out cold on Saturday night and I slept like a stone. Sunday was more of the same. We played sled hockey and took care of the horses they had on the property. We had a final, much more grueling, therapy session on Sunday night. Every one of us broke down, but I left there feeling much lighter. Something about hearing the tragedies that had befallen my new friends, put mine in perspective.
I realized, as I was driving home, that not once this weekend had I even internally judged anyone in our group as being weak or ridiculous for reacting to the stress of their battles with anything other than stoicism. The entire reason why I had never told anyone but Steph, Dr. Rosolli and now my group was because I didn't want anyone to think I was less of a Marine or a man, that I was delicate or whiny.
I had called Steph before I'd left at 8:00. She had insisted I still come over, even if it was going to be really late by the time I got there. When I pulled up to her house I was surprised to find the house dark. As I crossed the porch I spied firelight flickering through the curtains. Pushing down the tiny surge of panic, I tapped on the glass of the door and breathed a big sigh of relief when her silhouette appeared on the other side. She yanked open the door and stood aside, smiling really big. I stepped in and scooped her up into a hug. Holding her so tightly that her feet probably came off the floor. She was in her usual pajamas of a tank top and baggy sweatpants, but she couldn't have looked more beautiful to me. I relaxed my hold on her and cupped her face, her eyes slid shut and I gently kissed her cheek. She sighed deeply and returned my gesture.
She pulled away and looked at me, "Hi. Come on in here and tell me all about it." I hung my jacket on the coat stand and followed her into the living room and sat in what was becoming my spot on the couch. The fire was lit and there was only one lamp on, so it was warm and dimly lit. "I'll be right back." She scooted into the kitchen and was back in a minute with some coffee and cookies. Setting them on the table next to me she curled up in her chair and looked at me intently. Waiting for me to spill.
"Come over here." I patted the seat next to me on the sofa and she jumped up and sat down at my side. I tugged her nearer and just let myself enjoy being close to her again. "That's better." She snuggled her face into my shoulder.
"So?" She prodded.
"It was tough, but I think it did some good. Like I gained some perspective."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, my whole body's sore from this obstacle course we ran yesterday after a really long hike, but we had a lot of conversations about our problems. Babe, you should hear the things these people have been through and they're still going on. There was this one woman there who lost her arm, being thrown from a vehicle that rolled over an IED and we all helped her on the course. There was another woman who was a medic and the things she'd seen collectively would make even you, as a nurse, want to puke. Two of the guys had similar experiences to me and another who was the sole survivor of a helicopter crash." I felt her shiver against me and rubbed her arm to warm her.
"Are you okay?" She asked quietly.
"I'm okay. The last thing we did before we left was rough, but I feel better for it."
"Why was it rough?" She asked tipping her head up.
I thought hard before I answered. It was a straightforward question, but there wasn't a ready reply. "I don't know. We'd been talking things over all weekend. That last session was really intense. Every one of us, uh, cried…" She rubbed her hand over my chest. I put my free hand on hers and held it there.
"It's okay, you know."
"I do. I'll never be one of those guys that cries all the time, but yeah, I guess it's okay every once in a while." She rolled her eyes and smiled.
"How did you sleep last night?"
"Like a rock."
Her smile turned even brighter. "Really? No dreams? You were so sure."
"I know, I think I was too tired from all the activities. That's probably why they run you so hard." I shifted around trying to alleviate the stiffness that was settling in from the weekend and the long drive.
"Where are you hurting the most?" She asked sitting up.
"Just a bit sore. It's fine."
She gave me that shut the hell up look. "Where?"
"My back." She stood up. "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere. Lay down on your stomach."
"I'm fine, babe." She morphed into mini drill sergeant, complete with hands on hips and I laid down before she could start 'do what you're told lieutenant' ing me. I had to bite back a groan when I felt her straddle my waist and her weight settle on my butt. That moan was pushed out of me though when her hands smoothed under my shirt and she started kneading my shoulders with her small, strong hands.
Goddamn that felt good.
Once the muscular tension started to slip away, my mind started to create a different kind. I was grateful that I was face down on her couch or it would be the morning after the ice storm all over again. Trying to pretend you don't have a monster hard-on when the person who caused it is right on top of it is all kinds of embarrassing. Her hands slowly worked their way down my back and I was equal parts thankful and mortified that the pressure she was exerting on me was slightly grinding my cock into the couch. The relief felt awesome, but wasn't helping it go down. There was no way I'd be able to roll over for a while. She splayed her hands on my waist and dug her thumbs into my lower back on either side of my spine. It felt so amazing I forgot about anything else.
"Did you know that you carried a lot of tension back here?" She said over my moaning and groaning.
"uuuuuhhhhhh." Was all I managed to get out.
She giggled and kept on, her thumbs slipping under my waistband. "It could be from all the running you do, there's too many knots here for it to just be from this weekend." I felt one of those knots pop and the relief that followed was just fucking delicious. "You should probably go get regular massages. It's supposed to be good for your overall health."
"Can't I just have you do it? I can't imagine it'll feel better than what you're doing right now." I slurred, so relaxed I could barely get my lips to move enough to get the words out.
"We'll see." She said quietly. She lightened her touch, till just her fingertips were ghosting all over my back. I knew I was about five minutes from going into a coma on her couch. I rolled over but held her so she stayed where she was over me, just because I'm some kind of masochist. The sight of her astride my hips, smiling down at me, had me hard again in a heartbeat. She settled her weight right on top of my erection and I watched the smile slide off her face. She didn't move away though, just stayed where she was, eyes locked with mine. Her breathing picked up and she gave me the same look she had the other night before she broke down. Only it didn't look like tears were going to flow this time. Her mouth fell open to a perfect O and she very slightly moved her hips.
"Oh god." Her tiny movement had my neck arching and my fingers digging into her hips holding her against me. "Steph." She slowly bent forward until her face was inches from mine.
"Carlos." She whispered and kissed the corner of my lips. My hands flew from her hips to her cheeks and angled her face to kiss her properly. My heart thumping madly, I moaned at finally feeling her soft, pouty mouth on me. I felt her pull away and opened my eyes, ready to ask what changed her mind. To my horror the room shimmered and shifted into that squalid, smoke filled room in Afghanistan, and there she was cuffed and chained to the filthy bed in the corner. Crying hopelessly, not like the Stephanie I'd come to know and start to fall for. I knew it was a dream, that none of this was actually happening, but I could hear the fire racing through the building, smell the smoke, see her terrified and huddled on that bed. I had that awful paralyzed mute feeling you get when your nightmare is so intense, my legs weighed a thousand pounds and I couldn't make my feet move across the room, I opened my mouth, but I couldn't call to her. The flames started to creep into the room and lick up the walls so close to that cot and she suddenly let out a blood curdling scream. Something snapped in me when she did that and I was suddenly free to move. When I touched the chain holding her prisoner to the bed, it disappeared like the smoke swirling around us. I grabbed her up and ran like my life and hers depended on it and was finally able to wrestle my eyes open to reality as we escaped into the too bright sunshine.
I lay there alone, panting, heart pounding and sweating, disoriented, yet I knew where I was. The fire had gone out and it was dark, she'd lain a blanket over me and in that moment the only thing I needed was to see with my own eyes that she and Alex were okay.
I crept up the stairs as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake them. I pushed Alex's door all the way open, he was snoring softly, tiny butt up in the air. There was no palpable 'presence' in the room other than the sweet little child, but there was no doubt the medal on the wall symbolized an eternal guardian for him.
Her door wasn't completely shut so I pushed it open and stood on the threshold. She was on her side facing the door. Her perfect face just barely discernable in the dark. She had kicked off the sheets and her shirt had ridden up, bunched up under her breasts, her pants up around her knees. She looked like she'd been tossing and turning, but was peaceful now. The old, heavy door squeaked as I pulled it shut and she stirred.
"Carlos?" She asked in a sleepy voice.
I opened the door back up and whispered to her. "Yeah, babe, go back to sleep. I'm going to head home."
"No, come here. What's wrong?" She sounded more alert now.
I stood at the side of her bed. "Another dream. I just needed to make sure you were okay. I'm sorry I fell asleep on you again. I have work in the morning, so I'm going to head home."
She reached for my hand and tugged until I sat on the edge of the bed. "Stay? If you had one, you might have another. Just stay here? Please?" She whispered.
There was nothing I wanted more than to lay down with her, but as I said before, I might be a bit of a masochist and I started to refuse. "Steph, I'm sorry I woke you, but…"
"Just stay." She cut me off. "I need you to." She'd hit on the one thing I couldn't refuse. I could deny myself all day long, but if she asked me for the moon I'd find a way to drag it down to earth for her. I shucked my jeans and let her pull me down next to her. Smiling as she fussed with the blanket. She scooted over to give me some space and let out a squeak when I pulled her back to me. She laid her head on my shoulder and immediately picked it back up again. "Your shirt is all wet! How bad was this dream?" She asked gently, rolling over and looking up at me.
"It started out great and then it got…not so great." She started pushing the hem of my shirt up. "What are you doing?"
"You can't sleep in this. You're soaked." I let her drag it over my head and tried to not get excited over the fact that I was laying in her bed nearly naked.
"I probably stink. I should go home and shower." I said without much conviction.
"Don't you move. You always smell good." She snuggled back down and I grew resigned to the fact that I was going to be sporting a chubby all night. Her hand rested flat on my stomach, her chest mashed into my ribs under my arm and her face was planted in my neck. Steph, it seems, was a snuggler. I could tell her leg was going to be cocked over my hip as soon as she fell asleep and I decided to just enjoy it.
She brushed her lips against my throat and a whole body shiver went through me. "Goodnight Carlos." She whispered.
"Goodnight Babe." I laid there feeling her body grow heaver and her breathing become deeper. I smiled when I felt her leg come up over my hip eliminating that last inch of space between us.
AN: *sigh* too stinking cute, these two. There'll be a time jump in the next chapter.
MRE: Meals Ready-to-Eat. Rations for service members when they're away from food facilities.
IED: Improvised Explosive Device. Homemade bombs, usually crafted by insurgents or by various terrorist groups.
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Love,
EA xoxo