*thank you to my beta, she waved her magic overwrite key and made this chapter make sense (in some spots – the confusing parts are my fault). If you haven't read her stories, search for her author name: Proudofyoubabe. She's pretty bitchin'
Lester was in a funk. He knew it, of course – how could he not? – but he felt completely powerless to improve it.
Despite the brief euphoria he'd felt at Hector's parting words and regardless of the succinct flare of conviction that he and Gia would, in fact, weather this, he was daily growing more certain that she would never recover from his indiscretion. How does a clock continue to keep time once its gears have been ripped out? Simple: it doesn't.
The entire day after his meeting with Giana, he felt like he was living in someone else's body, seeing through someone else's eyes. The uncoupling of his psyche from his body was not completely foreign to Lester; in times of war, necessity had dictated that he commit some atrocities that he'd had trouble accepting…initially. Always, though, he'd been able to eventually embrace the 'kill or be killed' reality that was sometimes his life and he'd moved on from it.
This, though, felt different than before. When he was on the government's clock, he'd hurt because of a guilt he shouldn't own that plagued him. Orders given are orders carried out; the simplicity of a military order was infallible. Now, with Giana…the guilt he bore was one he owned, and rightly so. It caused a haze to cloud his mind the morning following their meeting, and if he was truthful, he was grateful for the distraction from his thoughts.
It was in the midst of his fog that he showered and readied himself for a shift on the monitors. He was no more ready to be around his fellow RangeMen than he was to admit defeat with his estranged paramour, but there was a job to be done and shirking his responsibilities wouldn't make him feel any better.
Timing is, as they say, everything. The timing of seeing Gia on her porch that night was what had led to his ruination, and the timing of his arrival on the fifth floor was what would lead to his redemption.
"Sir!" Hal's voice, urgent and sharp as Lester exited the elevator, cleared his mind with the force of a hurricane. Lester snapped to attention, barking a quick "Report!" at Hal.
Hal spoke quickly, his rushed voice adding a sense of foreboding. "Giana just activated the panic button by her front door, I've contacted the closest – shit! There's a second one." Hal touched the headpiece he was wearing and started speaking to the patrolling RangeMen, deftly relaying the information. "Second panic button activated, location is in the kitchen near the back entrance…"
His voice grew fainter as Lester barreled toward the stairwell, taking them two at a time in his race toward the garage. Fear licked at him, spurring him on, and a dry sob escaped his open, panting mouth as he lit out to reach Giana. Faster was his only coherent thought as the sprinted down the steps and burst through the doors leading to the parking garage.
Ranger sat in his Turbo, idling at the curb closest the stairwell. Stephanie waited outside the car, her hand on the passenger door.
"We just heard Hal's call go out, get in!" she shouted as he sprinted toward the car. He hurtled himself into the passenger seat and Ranger shot off from the curb without giving Stephanie time to even close his door.
Ranger rocketed from the garage, tires squealing in protest as he sped along Haywood Avenue toward Giana's house.
He shifted gears and reached over to turn up the volume on his receiver box. "We were just getting back from dinner when we heard, I figured you'd need a ride so Iwaited." He could see at a glance that his quiet attempt to comfort his cousin was lost. Lester was leaning forward in his seat, one hand fisting the fabric of his cargos and the other gripping the dashboard, tension rolling off him in waves.
A quick location update from Slick and Vince, out on patrol and en route to Gia's address, sounded over Ranger's receiver, immediately followed by Hal's voice.
"Third panic button activated in residence, location: master bedroom. Be advised, three panic buttons activated." The news Gia had pushed the third and final panic button in her home, coupled urgency in Hal's voice elicited a strangled cry from Lester. Ranger toed the gas pedal cautiously, desperate to gain even a few seconds time for their arrival, ignoring every blaring horn and red light they came across.
Finally, finally, they rounded the corner to Gia's street.
"Go, Ric!" Lester ground, his vision laser focused and unblinking on Gia's house. Ranger gunned the engine in response, the high performance whine an answer to Les's plea.
As they pulled in her driveway, Lester threw open his door and hurtled out, ignoring Ranger's curses and calls for Les to wait for him. Lester ran like a man possessed, his singular focus on finding Giana.
With foolhardy haste, Lester flew through Gia's open front door. Years of training in combat survival and drills on how to clear a room may as well have been 5th grade social studies for all he remembered. With no heed whatsoever for his own safety he charged into her living room, weapon raised and at the ready.
"GIA! GIANA!" he bellowed, spinning wildly, eyes constantly moving, searching for a sign of her.
A groan, low and weak, sounded from her kitchen and he took off in that direction, vaguely aware that Ric had joined him and had his weapon drawn as well. They rounded the corner together and found a man on the floor, flopping and disoriented. An astounding amount of shattered juice glasses surrounded him, suggesting he'd either brought down a full cupboard on himself or that he'd been knocked unconscious by one very resourceful and angry woman.
Ranger reached down and swiftly began cuffing the intruder's hands behind his back and to his ankles, his swift movements smooth from years of practice. Lester forged quickly ahead and continued his search, opening each door he came to and clearing the room before proceeding to the next.
The necessity to ensure there was no lurking danger behind the other doors only just outstripped the pressing need to rush straight to the master bedroom and check on Gia; it was the last panic button she'd hit and therefore the most likely place she'd be. Trembling from the effort it took not to dart down the hallway screaming her name, Les swiftly and methodically made his way down the hall.
At long last he reached her bedroom door. Taking a fortifying breath, Lester quickly picked the lock and swung the door wide. A primary scan revealed an empty bedroom, so Lester moved on to the closet and beneath her bed, finding nothing.
That left the en suite.
With a prayer and a curse he bounded over to the closed door, his inertia causing him to run smack into the door as he started fumbling with the knob, trying to open it and get to her.
The knob spun impotently, round and round like a hamster wheel. Hector, he thought grimly, relief and worry battling for dominance.
This was one of Hector's little security tricks, a signature move of his – to rig a doorknob so it could be incapacitated once the homeowner was safely inside a predetermined room. Lester would bet his teeth that Gia had made it into the bathroom, disabled the knob and thrown the floor bolt that Hec always installed alongside the knob. This was all well and good in theory…unless the fucker in the kitchen had managed to injure her and she couldn't let him in. They'd have to cut through the door if that was the case, and standing by for the amount of time it would take to get to her made the rising panic Lester felt in his chest skyrocket.
Closing his eyes, Lester began making deals with God. He raised his shaking fist and began pounding on the door.
"Gia? Sweets, if you're in there, please, please open up. It's safe, they're all gone, you can come out. If you can reach the door and lift the bolt, we'll take you out of here to someplace safe. Maybe Ella's apartment, I'll bet she'll cook you just about anything you can think of if you'll just please, please open this door…"
Lester paid little attention to the three men who entered the room and flanked him. Ranger, Slick, and Vince stood at silent attention, the latter two eyeing each other warily as they waited for some sign of life from the bath.
His pleas had turned to a cooing, coaxing mantra that his coworkers were silent witnesses to…and Lester didn't care in the slightest. He would suffer any indignity, give up his Man Card a million times over if she would only Open. This. Fucking. Door.
A soft scraping noise from behind the closed door silenced Lester. He held his breath, straining to hear something, anything, that would glean some insight as to her well-being. Another noise, closer and louder than the first, caused Lester to draw up, tick-tight, and struggle to hear anything further over the furious rapid thrumming of his heart.
After what seemed like an eternity, the distinct sound of scraping metal could be clearly heard in the bedroom. The RangeMen, with the exception of Lester, raised their weapons in a single synchronized motion as they waited to see who was behind the door; if it wasn't Gia, or if she wasn't alone, they needed to be at the ready.
The gears in the doorknob tumbled and caught just before the door was wrenched open to reveal the most perfectly breathtaking sight Lester Santos had ever been favored to look upon.
Giana, hair disheveled and leaking tears of relief, stood outlined in the light of the bathroom. She was standing on her own steam, apparently unharmed, with one hand braced on the door for support.
She stood that way for only the briefest of moments before Lester stepped forward and wrapped both arms around her, pulling her tightly to his chest and lowering his face to press his lips against the top of her head. A garbled cry, muffled by Gia's hair, was the only sound that interrupted her soft, relieved crying. Together, in perfect harmony, their knees folded and they crumpled gracefully to the floor. Giana's arms slid hastily around Lester's torso and they sat, one curled around the other, faces pressed against each other while they drew what comfort they could from the other's arms.
Smiling, Ranger motioned to Slick and Vince to head back toward the living room, shutting the door behind him.
Time passed, but Lester would be hard pressed to measure it in minutes. He could, however, tell you how many times he felt Giana's heart pulse against his chest, or how many sweet, shaky breaths she drew in. He would be able to recount the number of times her hands patted his back reassuringly, his own harsh, labored breathing giving her enough reason to offer him a modicum of comfort, and the exact total of kisses he placed sweetly atop her auburn curls.
Finally, the desperate need for reassurance passed and they were able to pull apart, though Lester didn't let her go too far. Giana was only able to lean back far enough to look at his face before he stopped her, tightening his arms so that she was immobile.
She chuckled, a sound that caused a burst of relief to flood through Lester's veins; surely, if she could laugh, she was okay?
"Are you okay?" he asked, anyway, just to be sure. He peered at her eyes, seeing the shade of violet that haunted his dreams looking back under wet lashes.
She nodded, patting his cheek for reassurance when he didn't look any less worried. "Fine," she said, smiling gently, "just scared. I'm good, now that you're here."
Lester's heart swelled in his chest at her generous endearment; now, more than ever, he needed her to need him. Selfish as it sounded, he mused, having her reject him now would reduce him to a blubbering, begging mess. If the presence of her love had been life and light, the absence was darkness and decay. The silence that permeated his life in the vacant place she left was a funeral dirge where once was song and splendor. To have that back, even if only for the moment, was divine.
Their respite from reality was cut short, however, when Hector stormed through the bedroom door, mad with worry despite Ranger's reassurances. He, like Lester, needed to see Giana to tamper the fear that bloomed in his chest.
Giana allowed Hector to pull her to her feet and assess her, hug her, murmur words of apology to her…but never once did she release her hold on Lester's hand.
Miraculous, was the only thought Les had as he felt his heart mend and knit. Through touch alone… he stared in wonder at her, his divine *Aceso as she comforted and healed him with only her hand in his.
Even when Hector began to lead her out of the bathroom, her hold on him remained tight, almost desperate in its authority. Lester followed along, the significance not lost on him…he would follow her to the ends of the Earth if that's where she led them.
In the living room, the number of bodies was almost too big for the space. The men in black were eerily silent, each sharing the same strained and unhappy expression – a house under their protection had been breached. Furthermore, it was the home of a friend. Beyond that, it was the home of Hector's would-be sister-in-law and Lester's estranged potential fiancé. Added together, it was a recipe for a gang of pissed-off muscle laden security experts with a collective short fuse.
Ranger spoke first. "Before the cops get here…any idea who broke in?" he asked gently, mindful of the twin warning glares being shot at him by both Lester and Hector.
With a sigh, Giana nodded. "Yeah, there were three of them. Two I didn't know; the third was the guy who showed up to fix my heater the other day." While she was speaking, Gia smoothly sidestepped away from Hector and closer to Lester, rightly guessing the news that he'd introduced her burglar into her home would devastate him.
Immediately, shamefully, Les turned to her and opened her mouth to beg her forgiveness.
"Hush," she interrupted before he had a chance to speak. "You would never, ever send anyone you thought was capable of this," here she waved her hand toward the overturned furniture and the dusting of broken glasses trailing from her kitchen, "to my home; I know that. It's not your fault." The last sentence was spoke with such conviction that he forced himself to swallow his apology and only nod, albeit stiffly.
With a shake of her head, Giana turned her attention back to a murderous-looking Ranger. "He knocked, the one that fixed my heater; Reuben, I think? He called through the door that he needed to check to see if he'd left a tool by mistake. I knew he hadn't and said as much, and he got really quiet, which creeped me out so I hit the panic button by the front door. Better safe than sorry, you know? I was heading for the kitchen to answer my phone when the control room called to respond and they kicked the door in. I kicked the squirrley one, Reuben, in the nuts and ran for it. The second one grabbed me in the kitchen," she paused to pat Lester's arm reassuringly while squeezing Hector's forearm, "and I got loose and started chucking juice glasses at his head. The third onecame after him, and I knocked him out with the first glass." She grinned in response to the appreciative nods she had earned from the men in the room. "The second guy jumped over his buddy, trying to nab me. I hit the kitchen panic button, ran for my bedroom and hit that button. Then I locked myself in my bathroom like Hec showed me and waited for y'all to show up; I don't know where Reuben or the second guy went."
Her soft southern drawl was, as always, more pronounced when she was upset, and by the end of her speech Lester was tempted to smile at the utter adorableness of it.
However…
White-hot rage pulsed through his veins with every beat of his heart. He glanced over Gia's head at Hector and was perversely gratified to see the same look on his face - pure undiluted rage. Without question, there would be retribution.
Unfortunately, TPD arrived just then and Giana had to stay and give a statement while photographs were taken and the suspect was carted down to the station. By the time the whole circus wound down, it was almost two hours later and her fatigue was showing.
"I think you've asked enough questions, officers." Lester's voice left no room for argument. "If you need anything else, you can contact Ms. McGovern at RangeMan. Can we lock up now or do you need anything else?"
Eddie Gazarra waved off a put-out looking Officer Gaspick and said, "Sure thing. We'll let you get out of here. I'll give you a call if we have any luck picking up the other two guys."
Don't worry, Les thought, you won't.
Back at RangeMan, Giana and Bobby exited the elevator on the fourth floor. The evening's excitement, followed by the adrenaline crash and hours of answering questions left her feeling drained and sluggish. All she wanted at this point was to fall into a bed and sleep the entire wretched evening off.
Lester had been very understanding when she had asked, hesitantly, if there were any empty apartments she could stay in; they might've shared a connection this evening, but they were far from being able to share a bed anytime soon. Bobby'd generously offered her the second bedroom in his apartment and made a few lame jokes about her not being able to stay away when she accepted; the time she stayed with him through the gang uncertainty in Trenton seemed so far away, the memory distant and blurry around the edges. Or maybe that's just exhaustion, a voice chided her as Bobby unlocked his apartment door.
Lester bid her a goodnight as she and Bobby exited on four; he was on his way to the fifth floor to see if he could pin down a location on 'that little shit, Reuben'. Bobby instructed Gia to make herself at home while he went to see to a possible sprain in the infirmary before closing the apartment door behind him. She made her way to his spare room and lifted her overnight bag onto the twin bed, reveling in the quiet and reflecting on the evening's events.
It'd been a shit-show, that was for sure, she mused as she made her way to the bathroom and started Bobby's shower. The break-in itself had been terrifying, and being chased through her own home was something she knew would likely make her uneasy for a while. It was afterwards, though, that her mind lingered on.
As she stepped under the hot spray and began wetting her hair, she thought of Lester. After she'd made it safely to the bathroom and locked herself in like Hector showed her, after the immediate threat was gone, her mind had focused on him and she hadn't been able to shut it off since. The reality that tonight's outcome could have been far more tragic wasn't lost on her, nor was the fact that in those first moments locked in her bathroom all she could think was, I'm going to die with Lester thinking I hate him. The fact that her mind went to him – not her mother, not her twin – was telling.
She lathered her hair, frowning and chewing on her bottom lip as she mulled over her predicament. The love was never in question – of course she loved him. His actions didn't just wipe away months of wonderful, just like his apology didn't wipe away the fact that he cheated.
But did he, really? her subconscious chided. He had, in the most technical sense of the word, been unfaithful. The factors that splintered away from that single phrase, though, made navigating the situation much harder than it would otherwise be.
With a frustrated "Arrrrrgh!", Gia stuck her head beneath the spray and rinsed her hair, tilting her head back and allowing the water to pound against her face.
Tomorrow, she thought firmly. She'd had quite enough for today, thank you very much. Any further contemplation could be done after she had some sleep.
She toweled off and wove her way back to her room and began searching through her bag for her pajamas.
"Ah, crap," she growled, angrily stuffing the contents back into her bag. She'd packed her pajamas, alright, but in her haste to get out of her house she'd forgotten to grab a clean bra and panties. She considered, briefly, putting her old ones back on but quickly discarded the idea; Gia wasn't finicky about many things, but clean underware was one of them. Staying the night at Bobby's apartment with no underthings was also not an option. That left her one alternative: Lester's apartment.
Though she hadn't stayed over there much, she was fairly certain she'd left some fresh bra and panty sets in his dresser. After debating for a few minutes, she raised her shoulders and said, "Oh, the Hell with it," to the empty bedroom. She strode through Bobby's apartment, across the hall and down two doors to Lester's.
Here she faltered; they'd parted ways on a friendly note. The awkward tension from their conversation in the car had disappeared, replaced by the easy companionship they'd always shared. It'd been so nice; she didn't want to ask for her underthings and remind him that she wasn't staying with him, and she really didn't want the reminder that the last time they'd been in his apartment together he'd just finished fucking two women.
"The Hell with it," she whispered to herself. She quite liked her mantra for the evening. Feeling tickled by her own sass, she raised a fist and knocked, then again a few minutes later when there was no answer. She tried the knob and to her surprise, found the door unlocked.
Gia debated the merits of waiting around to see if Lester would show up and asking him to retrieve her underware…but that would mean sitting around in a building full of men with no bra and no panties. Just the thought made her delicate skin flush, so she stepped quickly through the door and into Lester's apartment.
She tried not to look too closely at the things that stirred wonderful memories in her, and she did her level best to ignore the pang when she remembered the cold way he'd stared at her while she cried on the very floor her feet hurried over right now. Just grab your undies and go, she told herself. It was sound advice.
Opening his bedroom door caused a fair amount of confusion, and Giana actually stepped out of the room and glanced behind her with her brow furrowed. What the hell…?
It was empty. The bed was gone, the mattress nowhere to be seen. There wasn't even a cot that suggested this room was used to sleep in. All that remained was the small dresser that housed her sought-after panties, covered in a thin film of dust, and a few gouges in the drywall.
Dazed and perplexed, Giana glided over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. She grabbed two bra and panty sets and slid the drawer closed and, taking one last long look around the bedroom, she shut the door and made her way quickly back across the hall to Bobby's.
She found her host in his kitchen, pulling a small glass casserole dish from the oven. "There you are! I wondered where you snuck off to. Ella sent this down, she insisted you eat something before you turn in; she says it'll help you sleep deeper so you won't have to worry about bad dreams." Bobby was as friendly as he ever was with her as he moved fluidly around his kitchen retrieving plates and glasses for them to use. "Would you mind if I joined you? I'm starving and this smells fantastic." He threw a smile over his shoulder while he waited for her reply. Instead, she hit him with a whammy.
"Why isn't there a bed in Lester's apartment?" Bobby stuttered to a halt, unsure of how to answer her. Bro Code dictated that he keep his answer vague, and with the added fact that Bobby had zero desire to play matchmaker…well, she wasn't going to get much from him.
"He took it out." He was met with Giana's raised eyebrow and folded arms, so he raised his hands in mock defense. "That's all I know, I swear! I went to check on him after you told me to that…that day and the bed was, uh, gone." Destroyed is 'gone', right?
"And the gouges in the drywall?" she pressed. Her dissatisfaction with his answer was fed by a bothersome little niggling feeling, an overall sensation that she was missing something potentially big.
Her feeling was validated when Bobby scrubbed his hands over his hair and sighed, obviously uncomfortable with this line of conversation. "He wasn't careful when he dismantled it," he allowed, glancing at her to see how this went over. Giana stood, staring at a point just over his shoulder as she contemplated his answer. She stood, frowning and chewing on her bottom lip as she considered his answer.
Silently, cursing Santos for messing up in the first place and leaving Bobby in the hot seat, he plated the dinner Ella prepared on one plate and settled it in front of Giana, intent on skipping dinner and making his escape before she could drill him for more answers.
No such luck. "Join me," she said as she sat at his table, her eyes now locked on his face. Reluctantly, Bobby made himself a plate and sat down opposite Giana, tucking in and shoveling food into his mouth so he wouldn't be able to speak.
She waited, watching him coolly, until he swallowed. "Bobby." Her voice was low and stern, and he knew his respite from her questions was about to be cut short. "Tell me. The gouges?"
He threw her one last pleading look, which she only returned with a blank stare. With a soft groan, he settled back in his chair and began.
"I went to check on him that next morning, after you texted me. He was lying in his living room floor, sort of under the table and I didn't see him so I went to his bedroom." He paused, debating on how much to cover for Lester before quickly deciding Les would want him to give Gia whatever she wanted, and right now she was after the truth.
"He tore the bed apart. Frame, blankets, even ripped the pillows apart." Her soft gasp interrupted him and he chanced a glance at her face. Her shock and worry were evident, but she gestured at him to finish.
"He didn't want it in there anymore, after what happened. Said he couldn't sleep in the room." His next words were obviously chosen with care, making Giana think he was omitting a great deal. "He was noticeably upset and had been for some time when I spoke to him that morning."
Gia dropped her eyes to her plate and stared, lost in thought as Bobby quietly finished eating. He watched her carefully, curious where her thoughts were leading her. She didn't speak again until he was rinsing his plate in the sink.
"It sounds so…selfish and stupid, but I never thought about how it affected him," she said, so quietly that Bobby wasn't sure she was aware she'd spoken out loud. "I mean, I knew that he missed me – he texted me a lot, it was pretty obvious – but I never thought about it hurting him, too." She stood without looking at Bobby and made her way to the living room, her plate of food untouched.
Bobby followed her to the couch and sat down next to her. He put an arm around her shoulders and rubbed her arm, a comforting gesture that made her smile bleakly up at him. She was quiet for a few moments before asking, "Was it bad? For Les?"
When he only nodded, Gia let out a long, shaky sigh and leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees. "I can't believe this is the first time I've asked this," she said, the bitterness in her voice clear as day. "It never even occurred to me; I was too wrapped up in myself to even consider it. Jesus, that was so selfish!" She lowered her face into the cradle of her hands and rested like that, unmoving.
Bobby broke the silence. "If it helps, he wouldn't have wanted you to know. He didn't want you worrying about him on top of dealing with what happened, Gia. He didn't want to add to your burden."
She started shaking her head halfway through his speech and when she spoke again, the tears in her voice were evident. "I should've known. All this time, he's been here hurting," sob "and alone" hiccup "and I wasn't even worried about him!" She was full-on crying now, not bothering to try and hide it with any lady-like sniffles.
Bobby was so far out of his element when it came to crying women; his palms were sweating as he fumbled with his phone and fired a text to Lester.
- Dude, get your ass to my apartment NOW
Minutes later, Bobby's door swung open and a worried Lester strode through. He took in the situation happening on the couch and hurried over, shooting Bobby a questioning look. Bobby, however, was already making tracks toward the door. He stage whispered, "She saw your bedroom," before bolting, closing the door and leaving Lester alone with Gia.
Hesitantly, afraid he would be rejected and erase whatever progress was made tonight, Lester squatted next to a still weeping Gia.
"Sweets, what's the matter?"His question, so general in nature was asked with such tenderness that it brought on a fresh wave of tears that took Giana a good few minutes to get under control.
Once she was a bit more composed, she raised her watery violet eyes to Lester's concerned green ones and spoke. "It never occurred to me that while I was at home feeling sorry for myself, you were here suffering alone. I'm just…I'm so ashamed that it didn't strike me that you were hurting, too. I didn't want that." Her voice was small now, unsure as she took Les's hand in hers. "I wasn't trying to punish you."
Of all the things Lester anticipated walking into, an apology from Giana wasn't even on his radar. He was taken back, sure, but that was secondary to his concern for the woman before him. "I never thought you were," he said quietly, wiping her tears away with his thumbs while he cradled her face in his hands. "I didn't want you to worry about me; I'd caused you enough grief, the last thing I wanted was for you to have to put aside dealing with what I did so you could come babysit me." He paused, making sure he had her attention before continuing. "I'd already decided that if being apart from me makes you happy, I was going to do whatever I could to help you move on."
Her head snapped back as though slapped; his admission stunned her. "So you're just willing to give me up? That easily?" Her voice was high and indignant, but Lester had enough experience hiding the hurt of rejection to know that it was a cover, a mask to hide how much the idea pained her.
"No," his answer was gentle, meant to sooth her into listening. "I could never give you up; I would never give up on you. No matter what you decide –if a future without me in it is what you need to be happy – I'll never stop loving you. But I won't stand in the way of you moving on, even if it gutsme to see you leave me behind."
Gia's shoulders slumped forward and her eyes closed as though pained. Lester waited, barely breathing, watching her. He knew, without knowing how, that this was the moment that would determine the course of the rest of his life – now was the hour of his reckoning, and it was Giana who would grant him absolution or send him back to purgatory.
Without opening her eyes, she whispered, "I hate what you did."
Lester's own eyes watered, blurring the sight of woman he loved. "I know," he answered, his voice full of gravel. "I hate it, too." He was tempted, sorely and passionately, to start apologizing for what he'd done to them but thought better of it; she knew he was sorry and at this late hour, an apology wouldn't sway her enough to save him.
Gia continued. "I don't know if I can ever look at you and not think about those women, Les. It –" here, her voice became strangled and she had to clear her throat before she could continue, each gentle cough a barbed reminder to Lester why she was upset. "It kills me, thinking of you with them."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, hating himself with renewed vigor and wishing, more than anything, that he could take her burden and bear it himself. He would cherish any agony that gave her peace.
She nodded, slowly, as though considering his words. Her eyes were still closed and the low, reverent pitch of her voice gave Lester the impression of a woman lost in prayer. The fervent expression on her face, the quiet reflection she was wrapped in was divine. If he was about to be handed a death sentence, he would feast on her beauty while he could.
Emboldened by the rush of love he felt for this woman, he decided to put her out of her misery and give her the opportunity to end it.
Offering up an appeal to the Heavens, Lester asked the question that had been burning in his mind for more than a week and the one only Giana could answer. "Where do we go from here?"
Her eyes opened and he had to stopper his sharp intake of breath at the sight he was met with. Gone was the sad and unsure mess he'd reduced his girl to; in place of the pain, there was a new determination and when she spoke, her voice was sure and resolute.
"I don't know, but I want us to go together."
Lester's entire body stilled and his breath caught in his throat. The hours he'd spent drowning in remorse and wishing for a second chance had culminated in this moment: he was saved. No, scratch that – Giana had saved him…again. She had delivered him from himself, twice now. The love, the incredible, unmitigated generous love she had for him burned him to cinders and branded him all the way to his soul.
"Les, breathe!" Her voice startled him back to awareness, and he obeyed instantly, sucking in a great lungful of air. He looked at her, searching her face…for what, he wasn't exactly sure. When he found only concern for him and no trace of regret, it hit him - she forgave me.
With a sound that was half cry and half jubilant whoop, Lester pulled Gia off the couch and onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her for the second time that night, pulling her as tightly to him as he could. "Did you mean it? What you said?" he asked, the plea clear in his voice.
Giana pulled her head back from his chest so she could look him in the eye while she spoke. "Tonight, when I was running through my house and hiding in that bathroom and I didn't know if they'd get to me before you made it, one thing was made abundantly clear to me: I love you."
His gratefully whimpered, "I love you, too," interrupted her…not that she minded. She pressed her forehead briefly against his before continuing.
"You were with me, Les. You were my last thought – I sat in that room absolutely devastated because I thought I would die with you thinking I didn't love you. It made everything come into hyper-focus; I hate what you did, but not enough to live my life without you in it. I can't see a way past this, but when I think of my future, you are in every. single. frame. You're the man I meet at the end of the church aisle on my wedding day, you're the husband who holds my hand while I'm having our babies… you're it for me. That much is clear, and I figure we'll have a lifetime to figure out the rest."
A sense of calm peacefulness enveloped them as they sat together, entwined and living in a moment of pure, perfect happiness.
*according to my doctorate in Wikipedia, 'Aceso' (which Lester referred to Giana as) is the Greek goddess of the healing process. I thought it apt, considering where she was taking him by granting him a chance for redemption.