Author's Note: Hello everyone! Thanks for reading and reviewing!
I hope the tiny cliff hanger was not too bad.
Anyways, hereby the next chapter.
As for psychological stuff – I'm, once again, no expert. So this is more based on what I saw on TV and so on. Forgive me if you know better. See it as means to push my plot, please!
Read, review, and hopefully enjoy ;)
The curious thing with music seems to be that it is not just tones entirely, but also pauses. So basically, when there is no tone, it still makes music… well, music.
Silence can be just as magical as the most wonderful melody.
Silence can give the music expression. Can give it meaning.
The words you don't say.
The things you can't express.
Emotions you can't utter.
The tunes you don't play.
They are, too, part of the secret code.
Or maybe they are the code entire?
Is that what Miles really meant when he told Marty about the secret codes in the music? The underlying message? The words he never said? Is that it?
It's really a pity that Miles died a few years back. Marty should have asked him, then maybe he would know now what to make of the silence he suddenly feels deep within him.
The last tune dies out, is carried away by the wind, into the snowy night.
Silence remains.
A moment of absolution.
But then… things kick into motion again. Snowflakes dance up and down… and then away.
The detective opens his eyes to the cheering crowd, the blizzard coming to a halt before him.
Is it really already over?
To Deeks, it felt like mere minutes, seconds, or even less. To him, it feels as though he only sat down on that stool after they walked in. He can't even remember when he got up to play his concerto, his little tribute to the winter.
But that is actually something he always loved about music, how all time melted away under its voice. Hours passed in the blink of an eye, while sometimes minutes could stretch into hours, hours away from the looming figure waiting on their front porch back home.
It was an escape, until it became a prison, and now…
Now he doesn't know.
He just feels cold, when he should feel hot.
His muscles move on their own.
The spotlight melts the ice and snow away, but the light stays.
He bows his head.
Maybe they understood his message?
His secret code?
"Deeks!"
The detective frowns as he sees a lilac springing out of the last bits of snow and… no, it's Kensi.
"Deeks!" the female agent cries out in a high-pitched voice, all eyes on her, suddenly. She tries to get through to him, waving at him. Deeks grimaces.
What is Kensi doing?! She might blow his cover like that. Deeks steps closer to the rim of the stage as the female agent finally gets through to him. Hetty, too, makes her way to the stage, worry written all over her face.
What the hell is going on here?!
"What's wrong?" he asks with a frown.
"You were poisoned. Ambulance is on the way," Kensi tells him worriedly, her eyes wide in shock.
"What? No, I wasn't. I made sure that I didn't leave my bottle out of sight," Deeks grimaces.
"It's on your hands," Kensi insists. "She poured it over your violin when she fell."
"Who?!" Deeks blinks at her incredulously, but Kensi doesn't really care. The female agent pulls on his jacket, careful to avoid any place he may have touched with his hands.
"Kensi!" he cries out.
"You wiped over it with your sleeve," she goes on as she gets him out of the jacket, and then inspects his shirt.
"It didn't seep through," Kensi sighs with a pang of relief.
"Well, Hetty's suits are always the finest," he shrugs.
"Now is not the time for jokes," Kensi growls.
"But…," Deeks looks at her with a frown. That is when Callen bursts through the back, motioning to Susanne, "Susanne Bigsby? I'm G Callen, NCIS. I ask you to come with me, right now."
She steps a bit over to him, tilting her head at him curiously. The other people step back, irritated by Callen's sudden arrival.
"I can't go now," she whispers, her eyes unnaturally wide. "I have to make sure this time."
"Susanne?" Katy asks, looking at her. "Susanne? What is this here? Hey."
She means to step to her, but Callen cuts her off, "You stay where you are. Susanne? Walk over to me, now."
"What is all this?" Katy asks in a high-pitched voice.
"It's all over now. Finally. I can finally sleep again. I can sleep," Susanne breathes, her eyes wide.
"Susanne, talk to me!" Katy tries another time. Susanne only looks at Deeks, though, "Phi."
"Susanne? Eyes on me. You have to come with me now," Callen demands.
"I have to watch it. Last time he came back. And I couldn't sleep at all. I need to sleep," she mumbles. "Phi, we'll be at peace. It's over any minute now."
"Susanne!" Deeks gapes at her. What's gotten into her? Before they got on stage, she was fine and just the nice girl he got to know… and now? What is she now? Who is she?
Was he so wrong about her secret code?
"Deeks, focus on me, okay? Sit down," Kensi demands harshly.
"I'm fine, Kensi," he assures her.
"You are…," she means to say, but he holds up his hands to her, if in a safe distance. She tilts her head, but then sees it. "Wax?"
"I couldn't bleed on the fine suit, so… wax and superglue," Deeks shrugs helplessly. "I wanted to be on the safe side."
"You still may have absorbed some, so you stay put," Kensi insists. She is not taking any chances this time for sure.
"Ms. Blye, help Mr. Callen, I'm staying with Mr. Deeks," Hetty offers. The female detective nods frantically before heading over to Callen, who still tries to calm Susanne down.
"Susanne?" she asks cautiously. "You remember me, right?"
The young woman turns to face her. She actually seems to recognize Kensi. She gives a faint nod.
"Who is Phi?" the female asks in a soft voice.
"He is. He came back to haunt me," Susanne says, pointing at Deeks.
"From where?" Kensi asks in a soft voice.
"The dead," she mutters. "He came back to haunt me. Ever since Greg's death. Since then I can't sleep. I need to sleep. So he has to go."
"Callen, go see Mr. Smith," Kensi tells the other agent. She seems to respond better to her, perhaps because she has seen Kensi before. Callen nods and heads to the conductor, who makes no attempt of escape, though. Kensi steps closer to the woman, who looks like she is on the verge of passing out, "Susanne? That is not… Phi. His name is Marty Deeks. He is a detective. He is not Phi."
"But… no, it's him. He looks like him. It's him. And he has to go, or else I won't ever sleep. I need to sleep," she mutters, looking utterly helpless. "Please."
"And I understand that. You need to sleep, but… killing him won't make you. Trust me. We can get you help," Kensi assures her.
"No," Susanne shakes her head, her voice quivering.
"Yes," Kensi tells her again.
"No, this is… he has to go. Has to," Susanne exhales. "I need to sleep. I'm tired. So tired. I need to sleep. So he has to go."
"Susanne, look at me," Kensi demands. "This is a detective. He was sent here undercover. He is not your Phi. Do you understand me? Now I need you to tell me what poison you gave him."
"No. That can't be," Susanne breathes.
"Yes, it can. Tell me what you gave him. Phi is not here, Susanne. He won't make you sleep, no matter what. But if you tell us what you gave him, we will find a way to make you sleep, believe me," Kensi tells her.
"You make me sleep?" Susanne looks at her, her eyes pleading.
"Yes," Kensi nods.
"Aconite, monkshood…," Susanne says at last. "It's pretty."
"Did you take anything yourself?" Kensi asks.
"I wanted to," Susanne tells her. "When in bed. So that I could sleep again."
"Then wait a bit longer. We wanna make you sleep real deep, okay?" Kensi bargains. She nods slowly. Kensi walks up to her and Susanne lets her take her by the hand.
"We will get you the help you need," Kensi tells her.
The paramedics arrive soon and check on Deeks. Gladly, the glue and wax actually prevented most of the harm, especially since Susanne only managed to get it on the neck of the violin and not the chinrest, which might have ended deadly for Deeks.
A storm indeed, he can't help but think.
Dangerous.
And deadly.
Susanne and Mr. Smith are brought to the boatshed as the paramedics pack up, leaving Deeks with advice as to what to pay attention to, in case there are problems. Kensi explained the situation to him – and the detective still has a hard time grasping that. One moment he holds that woman in his arms, the next… she is… this. That just seems out of the world.
So out of tune.
"… So it was really Susanne after all?" Deeks shakes his head, still not quite believing it.
"Yeah," Kensi sighs.
"I can't believe that. Katy said she… she was with her before Mike died…," Marty frowns.
"Well, that might be true, unless…," Kensi grimaces, her voice trailing off. Deeks' eyes wander about the music hall, where he spots the petite woman with ease. He gets up, "I will talk to her."
He makes his way over to Katy, whose eyes open wide upon seeing him.
"Hey," she breathes.
"Hey, Katy," he greets her.
"You are… a detective," Katy croaks.
"Yeah," Deeks nods.
"Wow…," Katy puckers her lips, still processing the news. "And your name is…"
"Marty Deeks," he replies.
"I really bought it, for the record… you're… really good at your job, I gotta say," Katy grimaces.
"Katy?" he asks her, his voice rather low. She looks at him uncertainly.
"You weren't with Susanne in the bathrooms the night Mike died, were you? Or else she couldn't have attached the needle that killed him. She did the fine-tuning on his violin. You said it yourself. Mike couldn't fine-tune it by himself, so he asked her for it," Deeks tells her.
"I was with her there," Katy says, looking down.
"But?" Deeks grimaces.
"… I may have extended as to how long…," Katy admits reluctantly.
"Why, Katy?" Deeks asks.
"I didn't think she had to do with it, for goodness' sake! She is one of my best friends!" Katy tells him.
"You made a false statement," he tells her sternly.
"I was just trying to protect her," Katy insists, bowing her head.
"She almost murdered me," Deeks can't help but curse.
"I didn't think it was her! I thought it was Adrian, Julian… Marty. I thought she was a victim," Katy argues.
"What do you mean?" Deeks frowns. Victim?
"She kinda stalked Mike in the beginning, you know, followed him and… stuff. I thought she was secretly having a crush on him. She asked about him so much and his time in war. I thought she was just a little lovesick and… she seemed so depressed after his death that I was sure that it would have hurt her to go through an investigation. She is so fragile. I was just trying to protect her," Katy exhales.
"So you gave her an alibi," Deeks nods.
"… I thought I was doing the right thing," Katy shrugs.
"Did Mr. Smith ask you for it?" Deeks questions, to which she replies, "No, he just… he just approached me after I had given my statement and asked if I had been with her during the time. I told him yes, but… that was it."
"And you didn't find it curious that he suddenly offered you the option to go abroad?" Deeks puckers his lips.
"No?" Katy grimaces. "We had talked about this before… Look, I was just… I was just trying to help my best friend. I saw how down she was. She was so withdrawn and scared. I thought I… oh God. She murdered Mike. She murdered him."
"Yes, and she even made an attempt on your life, Katy," Deeks huffs.
"The boxes," she breathes as it dawns on her.
"Yes," he agrees.
"But she… she is so kind," Katy whimpers. "She even helped me when I moved into my new apartment. She went to all those clubs with us, though I know she hates them. She got me those flowers she grows in her small patch… I thought I knew her."
"She is having a psychosis, as it seems. She is not thinking straight," Deeks offers.
"She murdered him. Susanne murdered one of my best friends. And I thought I was… I was helping her, him… oh God," Katy mutters as reality catches up to her.
"You know that you will get into trouble for that?" Deeks grimaces sympathetically.
"… well, don't I deserve it?" Katy shakes her head, a lone tear rolling down her cheek.
He grimaces at her, "I'm sorry that you lost… two friends."
Deeks bows his head before heading off again. He looks around to see Adrian. He looks at him with wide eyes.
"Adrian!"
But the young man just turns away.
"Adrian!"
"Deeks? We want to interrogate Smith now," Callen tells him as he approaches the detective.
"But Adrian…," Deeks mutters, his eyes still fixed on the spot where Adrian stood only seconds ago.
"It's your choice if you want to go after him or… get the truth out of Smith," Callen tells him. Deeks contemplates. Adrian won't talk to him, very likely, after he just found out that he lied to him about… everything. And he really wants to get a chance to ask Mr. Smith some questions, because that man owes him some answers.
"Okay, let's go," he says at last.
"Detective Deeks," Smith says in a solemn voice as he comes inside to sit down opposite to the conductor.
"Mr. Smith," the detective replies grimly.
"I hope you're… okay," Smith whispers, not meeting his eyes.
"The poison didn't kill me, let's put it like that," Deeks huffs.
"I'm very sorry that you got dragged into this," the other man tells him.
"The same way Mike got dragged into it?" Deeks snorts.
"Yeah," the conductor breathes. Deeks leans forward a bit, "I will ask you this one question: Why? Why did you cover up the evidence and helped her continue?"
"I tried to protect her," the man tells him.
"I've heard that sentence too often. And now don't come me with how you tried to be there for her, since you are her goduncle or whatever. You don't cover up murder for that reason," Deeks huffs.
"No, but for your own daughter you do," Smith argues, making the detective gape at him, "What?"
"I… am her father," Smith admits.
"She has a father," Deeks argues.
"He is the father by right, I'm the father by… biology," Smith explains. "Before Leah, Susanne's mother, married her father, Paul, she was… with me. We were a couple during college."
So that explains the picture in his office.
"How does that make her your daughter?" Deeks grimaces.
"Well, after college was over, I wanted to go abroad, try my luck elsewhere. I wanted to go to Italy and play in the great halls, while Leah wanted to stay here. She played the piano, but she never wanted to make it a career in the orchestra. She thought about teaching, while I wanted… more. So I left for Italy… We were together… the last night before I left, and I was gone in the morning," Smith sighs. Deeks can't help but be irritated. He was wrong about so many people in this orchestra. Adrian. Mike. Katy. Susanne. Even Mr. Smith.
He thought he understood the secret codes, but he missed many of the tunes not played.
The many words left unspoken.
"Okay, dramatic love story so far," Deeks grimaces.
"It didn't work out. I got thrown out of every orchestra, stating that I lacked charisma, that they didn't feel it, that I didn't feel it. They didn't want me. I gave up after a year and… had a change of mind. I became a conductor and started to do more of organizational duties. Because I'm good at that. I can organize things. I can keep things in order…," he shakes his head. "But eventually I wanted to head back home. So I searched for a placement in L.A. and eventually started with this ensemble. I searched for Leah, hoping to… mend our relationship, or at least have a proper friendship with her. By that time she was already married to Paul, though… and had a daughter… who was… about the age matching the time of my departure. She explained to me that she met him only shortly after I left, once I asked her about it. I let go of the idea, or well… I let it go for the sake of keeping around with the two, to be honest."
"So you had suspicion that she was your child, but you never told Susanne, or did you?" Deeks questions.
"No, her mother forbade me," Smith grimaces.
"Well, you know, you have a legal right if you are the father," Deeks makes a face, to which the older man replies, "I actually wanted to. But I said to myself that maybe it'd be best to approach this when Susanne was a little older, could understand it. She was eighteen when her younger brother, Danny, died in a car accident. She was in the car with him… saw him die… she was in hospital for some time, but she was… very… traumatized. She was very close to him. They made music together. He played the violin also… She loved him a lot."
"Who is Phi?" Deeks asks.
"Her brother's nickname," Smith tells him. "… you look a lot like him."
"Which is the reason why I think she went after me," Deeks nods. As much as he hates it, Kensi did have a point when she said that they looked alike. Probably that's why she went after him. It never was about first violin, it was always about… the people.
"I think so, too, in the retrospective," Smith nods slowly.
"What happened after Danny's death?" Deeks grimaces.
"She suffered from insomnia as a result. She couldn't sleep and…," Smith explains, his voice trailing off, so Deeks completes, "Started seeing things?"
"Not that extreme, no, it's just that she was acting… not like herself. She was very withdrawn. They started her on medication, after the psychologist advised her to. They made her more of a mental vegetable, though," Smith goes on.
"Was she treated with Botox at any given time?" Deeks asks.
"For the migraines, yes," Smith nods. "I have a friend who is a doctor and gives such treatment."
"And let me guess, without that ever leaking through to public?" Deeks huffs.
"I would like to say no, but yes… Eventually Susanne settled with mostly alternative medicine, plus the Botox. Herbs and the like. It worked for her," Smith argues.
"Aha," Deeks makes a face. Well, it seemingly didn't really work for her.
"Well, and then she said she wanted to play in an orchestra. So I was happy to help her," Smith goes on.
"As her father," Deeks cocks his eyebrows at him, but Smith just shakes his head, "She didn't know. Her mother implored me not to pressure her with those news after she still tried to deal with Danny's death in a way. Susanne's psyche was very fragile."
"Did she continue to see a specialist?" Deeks questions.
"No. She refused to. And her mother didn't want to force her," Smith shakes his head.
"And you?" Deeks asks.
"I would have given her into a mental institution, or at least I would have liked to see her continuing with therapy," Smith shrugs his shoulders.
"But… because she didn't know… and because you didn't insist on your parental rights in any way… you let it go," Deeks grimaces.
"I did what I could. I organized things. Structures are supposed to help. I advised her to try out with the harp. She is very good, as you know. She didn't have competition, so… I thought it was doing her good. She integrated well into the group, especially once Ms. Gray took her under her wing. She didn't suffer from insomnia anymore, she smiled a lot. I thought Susanne was fine," Smith shakes his head.
"But?" Deeks grimaces, so Smith goes on, "It suddenly changed again. She was withdrawn and… she was… different. Slept less, ate little…"
"Was there any certain reason why?" Deeks asks.
"Greg," Smith replies simply.
"Who is Greg?" Deeks questions.
"As far as I know… Lieutenant Gregory Winger," Smith exhales.
"Winger…?" Deeks frowns. This name sounds familiar.
"Well, given that you ran the investigation, you will remember that name as on the list of people who fell in service under Mr. Gallagher's command, in the bomb explosion that brought him the leg injury," Smith confirms. "Mr. Gallagher was praised and honored for having saved another soldier, pulling him away from the bomb."
"Yes," Deeks nods, so Smith says, "Susanne… was or is convinced that Mr. Gallagher had a chance to save Greg, but chose the other man instead, though he was actually closer to him."
"But… that was like… split seconds," Deeks shakes his head.
"She didn't see it like that, or so I found out… too late. The problem with Mr. Gallagher and her was… that… Greg and she… were together, before he was called off for service. They told no one, as it seems. Leah didn't know either," Smith explains.
"Then how did you find out about Greg?" Deeks frowns.
"Too late," the older man whispers. "I found out about her and Greg's relationship when she confessed it to me. That was… three months after the bomb detonated. She never told me about Mr. Gallagher in any way, though."
"What did you do?" Deeks asks.
"Well, I had a close eye on her and her friends really made any effort to cheer her back up. By that time… I brought in the new top violinist," Smith grimaces.
"Mike," Deeks nods.
"I obviously didn't know about their connection, or else I never would have hired him. I actually thought she had fallen in love with him," Smith shakes his head.
"Katy said the same," Deeks nods.
All those codes left unspoken, or wrongly interpreted.
"Because she followed him so much and… tried to be close to him… well, in the retrospective…," Smith sighs, and Deeks nods in understanding, "She was just trying to get closer to her victim."
"Sadly yes," Smith nods.
"That still doesn't explain why you changed the tapes," Deeks argues.
"It was the night before the concert that I saw Mr. Gallagher with… Mr. Carson… in a… intimate… moment. As a married man and so short before the concert, I feared for a scandal if that came to light," Smith goes on. "Then Mr. Gallagher died and… I went over the tapes… to prevent… such a scandal."
"And suddenly there wasn't just the couple, but also your daughter murdering Mike," Deeks shakes his head.
"Yes," Smith nods. "I called in… the hacker you seemingly questioned, too."
"How did you get to him so fast?" Deeks frowns. Not anyone has someone in the address book for such cases, and who acts overnight.
"I asked for his services before. To make sure that nothing of Susanne's past leaked through to public, once the orchestra gained more fame. I feared that it would revive some old memories for her, so… well, I called in a few favors. I organize things. And so I asked him to delete the information in question as well, before it was given to… police. They only asked for it the next morning because they weren't aware of the cameras," Smith admits.
"And you hadn't told them either," Deeks shakes his head.
"No… I just… I just tried to help her," Smith exhales.
"Why did you hire a new first violin? Why not Adrian?" Deeks goes on to question.
"I feared that if I gave the position to him, it'd look like he was the culprit. I wanted to protect him, actually," Smith explains.
"Just that he was the top suspect, for us, till last," Deeks snorts.
"I didn't think he'd be if I brought in someone else," Smith argues credibly.
"Then what did you think of my little accident, with the boxes?" Deeks huffs.
"I actually thought that this was Mr. Carson," Smith shrugs.
"Why?" Deeks frowns. "If you knew Susanne killed Mike, then what seemed farfetched about her trying to go after me?"
"I thought Susanne murdered Mr. Gallagher as a result of sleep deprivation and resent towards him for not saving her boyfriend. I didn't think she'd go after the next first violin to kill. One could say it was one hell of a coincidence that I hire this one person who looks like her dead brother in a way. I never thought that she… was that far gone… until I saw her onstage tonight," Smith argues.
"Still, why did you think it was Adrian?" Deeks questions, to which the older man replies, "He did similar things to Mr. Gallagher before they… started… it. I thought he was just…"
"Coping," Deeks offers.
"Perhaps," Smith agrees.
"And that Susanne could have done it didn't dawn on you till last?" Deeks snorts.
"I had a very close eye on her," the conductor insists.
"Well, seemingly not close enough. She also tried to poison me before tonight. The food poisoning… wasn't really one," Deeks tells him.
"Oh God," Smith gapes at him.
"So now you tell me again. You didn't see the signs?" Deeks huffs.
"I had a fight with her mother. Because I wanted to tell Susanne, or at least demand the DNA test. So she wouldn't let her see me outside the orchestra. I didn't know that the insomnia returned, as it seemingly did," Smith explains.
"So… you covered up Mike's murder… for prestige reasons, is that it?" Deeks shakes his head.
"I tried to protect my daughter. I had everything arranged. After this concert, I wanted to have her removed from the orchestra. And I had made plans to have her in therapy again. You can check it, I already talked to specialists in advance. I just wanted to let a bit of time pass…," Smith insists.
"So that it didn't appear suspicious, I get it," Deeks nods, but the man argues sternly, "No, you don't get it. You say I did it for prestige's sake. I did it for my daughter's sake. If she had been sent to prison or into one of those asylums… she would have gone down. I couldn't do that to my daughter."
"You see that you could have prevented that, right? If you had come clean to her?" Deeks shakes his head.
"It's always easy to say…," Smith means to say, but the detective interrupts him, "No, it's easy to do. You say you did that to protect your daughter. I say you did it to protect yourself. You were too afraid to be… devoted, fully devoted, and be her father. I don't know why, be it because you are still in love with her mother or because you are just a coward, but your daughter needed help that all your organizing didn't do. She needed a father, not someone who cleaned up the mess after her. Susanne is clearly… not sane at this moment. But you were. You are. You made a deliberate choice to cover up the evidence. You helped cover up a murder of a family father who had kids, like you. Mike didn't deserve to die and you know it."
"Let me ask you this one question, Mr. Deeks – if you had a daughter, how far would you go for her, for her safety?" Smith looks at him.
"I would kill for her," Deeks replies simply.
"See?" Smith shrugs, but then Deeks goes on, "But Susanne was in no life or death situation. She was not taken hostage or anything. And that is the difference here. I agree, we do a lot for our children, we overstep the law for them. And I can imagine that if I were in a situation where I had to do something against the law to keep my daughter or son out of harm's way, be sure I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I wouldn't have done for my kid what you did for yours. Because I never would let that happen, Mr. Smith, I wouldn't have let it escalate that far. I wouldn't leave my child in the open like that. Susanne had problems. She screamed for help. All you told me speaks for it. She may not have asked you for it, but you saw it. She didn't have to say it, did she? And that's the difference here. I never would have let her go that far. Because I would have given her help before."
"Then maybe we just have different understandings of what it means to protect one's family," Smith shrugs, but Deeks is having none of it, "You didn't protect her! Susanne now has to live with it that she murdered another person! For the rest of her life! All you did was to… protect her name, your name. You didn't go great lengths for your daughter. You would have done if you had stood up to her, had stood to her as her father. She was in need of help, your help. And you had a chance to stop her. You did. I could have died if not for that lucky coincidence of the wax on my hands. If it had been any other guy… what if he had looked even more like her brother? Huh? What would have been then? You would have marked him off as collateral damage as well?"
"No," Smith shakes his head frantically.
"Yes. Because, even now, you only worry about your name. You had any chance to stop it. You had any chance not to leave a wife a widow, children without their father, and a lover… grieving," Deeks shakes his head, getting up. "You see, Katy told me that she made that false statement to keep Susanne safe. To protect her. You said the same thing to me. And, frankly speaking, Mr. Smith, I believe Katy, but I don't believe you."
Smith buries his head in his hands as Deeks leaves the interrogation room.
And suddenly, the silence is oppressing.
Suffocating.
Dark.