HAPPY RELEASE DATE OF BLOOD OF OLYMPUS, FELLOW DEMIGODS!

Hello everyone! I recently discovered the gloriousness of these books, and I am ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE with Leo. Then, this idea (and a bunch of other random ones) popped into my head and I thought this is a wonderful distraction from my other WiP (a Narnia fic). Since this is a distraction, I cannot guarantee updates on a regular basis. Depending on the feedback, I'll change accordingly ;)

Anyway, this "story" will be a bunch of one-shots revolving around our favorite Bad Boy Supreme, other demigods at Camp Half-Blood, as well as a potential and important-ish OC (I love OCs). These little drabbles have the potential to flow like a mini story, but we shall see. I'm trying to keep this as canon as possible, so it's only going to cover the six-ish months that Leo is constructing the Argo II. Unfortunately, pre-Caleo.

I have a bunch of random scenes that I plan on writing, but if there's something that you would like to read, please PM or review!

Here's my fabulous disclaimer for everyone: I don't own anything that belongs to anyone. Also, this story is rated T for some language, sexual situations/hints, and terrible jokes.

Enjoy!

Sleevies

Leo waltzed into the council meeting and slid into his seat. Everyone else was chatting and throwing snacks to Seymour before the meeting began, so he grabbed a soda and leaned back in his chair. His grimy hand ran through his hair and slicked it back, but Leo didn't care. He was exhausted.

"Gods, Leo, you reek. Isn't there a shower in that hole of yours?" Clarisse asked as she scrunched her nose.

He said with a wink, "You don't like my new scent? Eau de Sizzle?" He waved his hands to waft the delicious smell across the room.

Jason and Piper groaned from across the table as Clarisse grumbled. She sounded like a monster, and could probably rip him apart just as quick.

"No showers in my man cave, I'm afraid."

"Clearly."

Leo reminded himself to save his winks for someone who'd appreciate them, and not the female bulldog to his right.

As Chiron called the meeting to order, a rogue Snausage flew across the table and slapped him across the cheek. It limply fell onto the table with a soft thud, and Seymour growled in disappointment. All eyes turned to Travis Stoll who was slowly sinking into his chair, as if hiding was going to help him.

Chiron, being the patient centaur that he is, pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the Snausage juice from his cheek. "Thank you, Travis. I do love projectile snacks of the non-vegetarian kind. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to begin."

He started rambling about something that Leo probably should have been paying attention to, but that would have been the smart thing for him to do. Which was probably never going to happen. He pulled out some hardware from his pocket and began to fidget, screwing and unscrewing a wing nut absentmindedly. His hands were so greasy the nut was slipping in his hands, and that was a little embarrassing for him.

He was brought back to reality when another wild Snausage whacked his forehead. He jumped and dropped everything, his eyes wide with surprise. "What the hell was that for?"

Chiron cleared his throat and shot him a warning look, because cursing was supposedly a big no-no at camp. Monsters, deadly weapons, and suicide quests? No problem. Cussing? Good fucking luck.

Annabeth said, slightly annoyed, "Pay attention Leo. We're trying to figure out where Gaea might be keeping more of her armies."

As if it was the most obvious thing in the world, he asked, "Did you check her sleevies?"

If Leo wasn't afraid of Annabeth before, he sure as hell was now. Her normally grey eyes seemed to come alive with a burning desire to jump across the table and strangle him. She had been coolly frantic for the last few months in her search for her boyfriend. It made her unbearably irritable and a complete fun-sucker. Leo couldn't blame her, though. If he had anyone left to care about like that, he'd be doing the same thing.

He was silently waiting for a drum set to appear in the corner and salute his wit, but nothing was there to save him. Everyone else in the room only moaned and groaned at his terrible timing and face-palmed themselves as they tried to contain their stupid smiles. The Stoll brothers were having a difficult time, until Annabeth threatened to kill them with a deadly glance.

"You're incorrigible, Valdez," she called, dryly.

"Thank you, Chase."

Regaining her composure, she continued. "As I was saying, we've been in contact with several satyrs across the U.S. but none have heard or seen anything too unusual. I've reached out to anyone I can think of, via I.M., but no luck so far." Her shoulders slumped as she said this. Gods she was miserable.

"Actually, I received an I.M. from a dear relative of mine to the South," Chiron began, "and they ran into a migrating group of drakons near the gulf area. Apparently they have found a new mating ground…"

Butch scrunched up his face. "Mating grounds? Why are drakons down there?"

Leo was thinking the same thing, but kept his mouth shut for a minute.

Annabeth cut in this time and looked around the room. "Come on, guys. What large reptiles live in swamps down south?" Of course she knew the answer. She knew all the answers.

Everyone's eyes grew wide and Leo tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He didn't want to think about scaly lizards that could use him as a toothpick, especially when he missed Festus this much. Not that Festus ever thought he was a toothpick.

"Alligators live in Florida..." Butch questioned as his eyes narrowed. Annabeth and Chiron continued to stare at the linebacker, waiting for the light bulb to go off above his head.

Leo started to mumble, even though everyone could hear him. "You've gotta be shitting me. Gators? Crocs and gators are –"

"- Possibly young drakons, yes, Mr. Valdez. Must I remind you to watch your mouth?" Chiron looked like he was ready to trample him. Good thing he was in his wheelchair disguise. Leo imagined wheelchair marks covering his face like a road kill pancake.

"The Mist is perfect for them down there, where they can blend in with the natural habitat and live with the real reptiles."

Biology was never his forte. And he wasn't much of a listener, either.

"Great. So you're telling me that these idiot mortals on TV are actually wrestling BABY FUCKING DRAKONS."

"Enough!" Chiron raised his voice and glared at Leo, as if he would spontaneously combust from the eye contact. "I am in no mood for your flippant suggestions. You're on armory duty for the next week. Consider yourself warned, Leo."

He had never heard Chiron raise his voice before, and it totally caught him off guard. Was he supposed to laugh? Be quiet? Make another terrible joke? Leave? He hated cleaning, even though this time was completely his fault. Apparently the bad boy vibe was a little more than he bargained for today.

Chiron and Annabeth carried on with the meeting as if nothing happened. All he could think about was one of those swamp people television shows, where they tango with crocodiles in the murky swamp water. Were stupid people extra resilient? Must be nice – maybe ignorance really is bliss.

Leo continued to slump in his chair, unconsciously strumming his fingers against his thigh. The other counselors added their opinions where they thought necessary, and the meeting was over before he realized. Hopefully there wasn't a quiz. He began to slink out the door when Chiron cleared his throat and caught his attention. It was that low coughing noise, like Now where do you think you're going? Great.

After the war room was empty, Leo took a funny step toward the centaur. "So… what's up?"

Chiron sighed. "I know you are under a lot of stress, Leo. Building the Argo –"

"- the Argo II, actually – "

" – is no small task. And I know you're coming to that age where expanding your vocabulary feels like a wonderful stress reliever, but I must ask you to respect your elders. I am not here to listen to it. Do you understand?"

"So does this mean you were just kidding about armory duty?"

Chiron shook his head slowly. He had this disappointed look on his face that Leo knew all too well. He was sick of seeing it.

"Yeah, sure. I – I mean yes sir."

He nodded his head slowly, still looking up at him.

"So, uh, can I go now? I gotta get back to work."

"Of course."

Leo turned to walk away as quickly as possible without looking like he was trying to escape, but Chiron called to him one last time.

"Oh, and Leo? Don't be afraid to ask for help."

Leo nodded and feigned a smile as he turned and walked away, his hands in his pockets. That was easier said than done.

Tadaaa? What do you think? Please let me know! I'd love some feedback :) I have a couple chapters/scenes already written, but if you have any requests feel free to shout it out. Seriously. Pls.

Also, there was a subtle Super Troopers reference in there - did any of you catch it?