Chapter Twelve

Epilogue

"I mean, I just don't see the point in upgrading the pistol if you're just going to use the shotgun most of the time anyway, Token."

It was Clyde Donovan's voice that broke Craig Tucker's train of thought and caused himself to look up toward the far end of the table. It was Wednesday, lunch period, and as usual, the ol' gang was gathered around the table to eat their snacks. Clyde and Token sat side-by-side on the left side of the table, toward the corner, bickering to each other about the weapons of a certain video game. Craig couldn't remember which game they were arguing about, and honestly, he could care less. No one intervened when Clyde began to spew insults in Token's face. It wasn't affecting the mood for the rest of the table.

"Hey, did any of you hear that Kyle and Stan showed up last week?" Scott's voice redirected everyone to his side of the table, on the right, where he was currently munching on a sandwich whilst watching everyone else with his brown eyes. Craig glanced toward Scott's direction, but it was the boy beside him that suddenly caught his attention.

Beside Scott, Butters sat next to Kenny, and his face lit up like a light as a huge grin spread across his lips. Kenny rose his brows at the reaction, but said nothing.

"I did!" Butters gushed. "I heard that Professor Chaos has something to do with it. Did he make it in the papers, by any chance? I, I mean, you know, he's a good friend of mine, and I'd love to see him and Mysterion receive the credit for bringing Stan and Kyle back."
Craig nearly rolled his eyes at the short blonde, but said nothing in regards to the Professor Chaos matter. He said nothing toward the whole thing, in fact. He hardly ever did. He just sat and listened as the people of the table began to raise their voices to share whatever information they had about Kyle and Stan's returning. In the middle of the table, beside Kenny, three seats were open. They had always been since the disappearance.

That's right... several months ago, word got out that Kyle and Stan ran off to the circus together. It didn't stop the town from searching nearby circus shows and the rest of town to make sure, but after the chief of police put his "incredible investigating skills" to work, he indeed confirmed that Stan and Kyle had vanished of their own accord, and had not – by any chance – been kidnapped or possibly murdered. Their friends were confused, and obviously, their families were heartbroken (Shelly Marsh seemed to – surprisingly – take the news the hardest), but the only person who didn't seem to be nearly as sad as everyone else was one Eric Cartman.

It was only a week ago that the word got out about their return. Cartman was charged of kidnapping... and had something to do with blowing up Jimbo's old house (in which Jimbo came back to South Park to behold). Beside Kyle and Stan's empty lunch chairs, Cartman's seat was also vacant, though his trial was still to be held.

"Y-You ok-kay, Craig?" Beside Craig, Tweek's shaky voice whispered softly, and the raven-haired teen felt a hand on his shoulder. Craig glanced to his left to see one of his best friends staring right at him, traces of concern showing through his tired and usual panicky expression.

"M'fine. Just thinking." Craig responded in his usual low, nasally voice. He leaned back a bit, and swung his legs over the lunch table before getting to his feet. He glanced toward Tweek again. The rest of the table didn't notice his movement. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom."

"Okay." Tweek nodded with agreement, and he turned back toward the others, and continued to munch on his sandwich and sip his coffee. Craig watched him a few moments, before stuffing his hands into the pockets of his blue parka, and heading toward the exit of the cafeteria.

It wasn't long before Craig reached the hall that lead to the bathrooms. The hall was messy – pieces of trash left here or there... lockers opened, dirty gym clothes bunched up in the corner... South Park High was definitely not one of the nicest schools.

As Craig passed one of the classrooms on his way to the bathroom, a sudden exchange of voices had him reeling back to investigate, out of his own curiosity. He stayed behind the wall and just barely peeked around the corner, beside the door. It was Mr. Garrison's classroom, but instead of being on his break, he was sitting in his chair while he spoke to both Mr. Mackey and the principal of the school; Victoria (amazing how the principal and counselor of South Park Elementary also ran South Park High).

"I just can't believe they're back," Victoria sighed, watching Mr. Garrison. "I mean, they were in my office no less than two hours ago. I wasn't used to them being there. Stanley's father – Randy Marsh – felt the need to contact me at three in the morning to tell me that his son had returned home safely."

"It really is a miracle, mmkay." The counselor agreed with a smile. "I wasn't so sure that the police had it right after their investigation. The print on the paper just seemed... wrong. Mmkay?"

A loud sigh and a big shrug came from a tired Mr. Garrison, who had one elbow propped against his desk while his hand held his possibly-aching head. "Look, guys, it's a miracle, sure, whoopity-fucking-doo... I just don't care. 'Kay? Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski – the drama queen and the Straight-A student – are back. Great."

"Oh, don't say such things, Mr. Garrison!" Victoria shook her head in disappointment as she frowned at the long-time teacher. She twirled her graying hair with her fingers. "It is a gosh-darn miracle that these boys were found! What if they were stuck in that Bomb Shelter forever? We'd never know!"

"Because our town's police force is too stupid to do an actual investigation and use their fucking heads?" Mr. Garrison sighed. "Look. So much crazy shit has happened in our town already – are you guys really surprised those boys showed back up? Really?"

Victoria and Mackey shared a look, before both nodding their heads. Mr. Garrison was one-hundred percent done with their shit.

"Look. I don't care," He sighed. He pulled himself back up into a proper sitting-position again, and pulled his pencil out from behind his ear. "Get going, will ya? I've got papers to grade, not bullshit to listen to."

When Victoria began snapping at Garrison for using such language, Craig decided that he had enough of listening. He pulled himself away from the door and began trotting down the hallway again. It seemed everyone in town couldn't get over the return of Stan and Kyle. However, the teacher did have a point – this town was fucking crazy. Who could have possibly not expected them to come back?

Craig gave a slow sigh and then a small yawn as he reached the bathrooms. Whatever. He didn't care. He just wanted the day to be over so he could go home and tuck Ziggy under his beanie while he played Call Of Duty (Stripes died two years ago – Craig got a new guinea pig, in which he named her Ziggy). He could just go home, forget about the stupid town he lived in, and get some peace and-

"Oh, Stan!"

Craig froze. He was now standing in front of the boy's bathroom door, and within the silence of the halls, he could hear voices coming from the other side. What sounded like an actual moan came from a voice that Craig knew was familiar, but hadn't heard in quite a while. He frowned a bit in concentration and put his hear to the door and listened. There was silence... then a low chuckle from a different voice, and another moan. Craig's eyes widened, and to his own surprise, he found himself quickly turning the knob of the door (which should have been open in the first place) and shoving it open.

His pale skin only got whiter.

Inside the bathroom, Kyle Broflovski was sitting on the counter, a pair of crutches upon the floor below him. His sweater was partially off of his body, and the shoulder of his shirt was pulled open to reveal more of his skin. Stan Marsh's lips were connected to Kyle's neck, his set of teeth gently nipping into his skin while Kyle squirmed and moaned under him. The throat-sucking and trailing hands progressed further until one of them finally noticed Craig's jaw-dropped figure at the entrance of the room.

It was Kyle who shrieked and quickly shoved Stan away.

"C-Craig! I- uh- How did- I mean-... STAN. You said you locked that door!"

Quickly recovering from the shove, Stan's eyes rose to meet Craig's, and they stared at each other a moment, before he was suddenly reaching up to pinch the ridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "Oh, God damn it..." The boy muttered under his breath. "Hi, Craig."

"Craig!" Kyle repeated. "Don't tell anyone about this! Seriously, man. Just stay quiet, okay? We don't need the town and then the whole school finding out that Stan and I are... er..."

"A couple?" Stan offered, unable to hide a small smirk as he peered at Kyle out of the corners of his eyes. Kyle looked back at Stan and made a face.

"Dude, don't say 'couple'. That just sounds weird."

"This whole thing is weird, but you weren't complaining before. 'Couple' is fine."

"It really isn't."

"But-"

"Shut up!" Kyle snapped. Stan obeyed, moving his hand away from his face and instead watching as his apparently-boyfriend removed himself from the counter and onto his crutches. From what Craig could see, one leg and one arm were broken... he was surprised that Kyle was able to cope with crutches at all. The Jewish boy limped his way closer to Craig, but stopped at a safe and comfortable distance. Stan joined his side.

"Look, just don't tell anyone about this, okay?" Stan spoke what Kyle was probably going to say. "I mean, we'd be more open, but it's a safe bet that Kyle's mom would flip the fuck out, and we can't have that. Not until we're old enough to do what we want, at least."

Craig was silent as he looked back and forth between Stan and Kyle. Stan didn't look half as eager and worried as Kyle was, but there was still some sort of concern on his face. Craig watched their every move, watching as Stan lifted his arm up to curl it around Kyle's shoulders and pull him closer. Kyle stiffened, obviously still uncomfortable about PDA around other people, but slightly leaned into Stan anyway. It was a couple more moments before Craig finally spoke.

"You have both been living in a bomb shelter thanks to Eric Cartman, and now that you're finally out, instead of just staying home and still recovering, you're coming to school and making out in the bathroom, because apparently being trapped in horrible conditions for a long time makes you both hot for each other. And thus, you're not going to go shut everyone up and answer their questions while they wonder where you are at lunch."

His voice was nasally, and bored and dull, and his shocked expression had melted into a blank stare. Stan and Kyle stood together, sides touching, Kyle leaning into Stan while Stan had one arm around him, both blushing like maniacs while Stan tried to hide a small and slightly embarrassed smile. There was some sort of happiness between them, Craig oddly noticed, that seemed to put a better mood in the room. Like what everyone thought was sexual tension for them was actually something real, and true...? Or the boys could just be going crazy. About time.

Kyle swallowed with nervousness. "Um... s-sure?"
Craig stared. And stared. And stared. And then he turned and quickly walked away.

"I hate you both."

SURPRISE! I've decided to return for a final time with this story – with an epilogue! I got a lot of questions asking about what happened between Stan and Kyle, and honestly, I just really wanted a romance scene and a flustered Kyle. So here it is! I hope you guys had happy holidays, and have a happy New Year! :3 ~InTheNameOfAsgard