Buford

In the short time that Leo had been at Camp Half-Blood, he had learned that everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions. Or the gods are jerks. Or some wonderful combination of the two, in Leo's case.

After finishing his punishment of armory duty, Leo trudged back to his cabin to actually get a decent night's sleep in his bed. For some strange reason, his neck and back were stiff and kinked and whenever someone called his name, he would whip his head around and start swearing and rubbing his neck like a wrinkly old man. Clearly this had nothing to do with the fact he'd been sleeping on desks and piles of wires and tools at random intervals in the day and night. Nope, definitely not the problem.

When he finally collapsed on his bed after getting undressed, he could feel the world lift from his shoulders as he exhaled into his lumpy pillow. His little cave was dark and warm and he had the humming background noise of gizmos and gadgets to keep him company. There were magic metal lanterns in the corners of his room, and they cast a soothing glow over the mess of tools and projects. Sleep was dancing just out of his grasp, but he was determined to catch this elusive thing that teased him so much.

He was just about to fall asleep when something knocked on the wall next to his headboard.

Tap tap tap.

Leo rolled over and buried himself under the pillow, muffling out the annoying noise.

Tap tap tap tap tap.

He growled and squeezed the pillow around his ears, like it would protect him and his chance at sleep.

BANG.

Something pounded and rattled the wall hard enough to cause one of his pipe cleaner and washer doohickeys to crash onto the floor. He shot up and banged on the wall, hoping whoever it was would get the hint.

"Stupid siblings, think they're frickin' hilarious…"

"Last I checked, I am not your sibling, Valdez."

The demigod yelped and jumped out of his bed before Pyrra even finished her sentence. He was wildly staring at her, wondering how in Hades she got in here.

"WHAT THE HELL PYRRA?!"

The nymph rolled her eyes. "Don't you 'what the hell' me, pipsqueak. I have something important to show you."

"So you thought now was a good time? Seriously? Didn't your mother teach you to knock?" he scolded. Not that he was one to talk, but he was so pissed she was keeping him awake. If a girl decided to creep in his room in the middle of the night for some mysterious reason, this was not what he had in mind.

"If my nymph of a mother ever knocked, then I would have never been born," she snapped.

"Uhhh what's that supposed to –"

"Just shut up and come on!" She reached out and pulled Leo off the bed, and he tumbled down in a mess of blankets and embarrassment.

As soon as he hit the floor and Pyrra ripped the blanket off of him, Leo remembered he was only in his boxers – the ones that were covered in cartoon chili peppers with sunglasses. He squeaked and pulled the blanket back on top of him and up to his chin. This was definitely not how he imagined being almost naked in front of a girl for the first time. He bet the gods were getting a kick out of this.

A wisp of smoke danced into Leo's nostrils. He realized, in his embarrassment, that his hands were singing the blanket and it was beginning to catch on fire. He caught Pyrra grinning wickedly, but it took all of his concentration to stop the smoldering.

"What's wrong, Leo?" she purred. "Surely you can't be ashamed of this… situation." She slowly batted her lashes and grinned more.

Fuck. She was doing that nymph thing. The one with the words and the eyes and the lips and the stuff. The one that made Leo all warm and fuzzy, where his ability to form a coherent sentence flies out the window. Where his brain goes all stupid and his judgment is a little more clouded than normal.

He mumbled and garbled some sounds that were supposed to be words, and Pyrra laughed at him.

Okay, a lot more than normal.

"Put some clothes on, little hero. Meet me outside." The fire nymph winked before she melted and drifted into the flame of his lantern and vanished.

Leo sat on the floor for another minute before finally shutting his gaping mouth. He threw some clothes on, fixed his pants (because they were backwards the first time), grabbed his tool belt, and snuck out the front door.

Pyrra was sitting on the front steps waiting for him, and her eyes drifted over him as he approached. "You know, I think I liked you better without clothes."

"Listen, lady. If you wanted to see me naked, all you had to do was ask." Leo felt his confidence coming back, albeit slowly.

Pyrra rolled her eyes again before saying, "You're too young for me. And you were wearing boxers. Nothing is much more appealing, if you ask me."

"I didn't ask," Leo replied dryly with a scrunched face.

"Right. Follow me! Before the harpies eat you." She grabbed his hand for the second time that night and pulled him into the woods.

As he was being dragged behind the crazy nymph, his mind raced with a million different things. However, most of his thoughts concerned the thing at the end of his hand. The fact that she pretty much admitted she liked men who went commando, and that her mother seduced her father by barging in and not knocking – this was a little too much for groggy-zombie-Leo. Clearly, the apple didn't fall far from the tree. Especially if that tree was in a ditch, and the apple could roll back into the trunk.

Pyrra slowed down and crouched behind a rock. Leo followed suit, and heard a throng of feminine voices off in the distance. He could have sworn they sounded drunk, and they were screaming like a wild group of college girls on spring break.

He was about to ask about it, but Pyrra started walking the other way. Without turning around, she whispered, "Don't ask. They're all crazy."

"Crazier than you?" he quipped.

She half-turned around and winked over her shoulder before continuing away from the rock. Leo growled and clenched his fists. Was he ever going to get an explanation out of this girl? So far his odds weren't looking so hot, so he sighed in frustration and followed after her.

-X-

They finally reached Bunker 9 and slipped inside. As the lights began to turn on, Leo followed Pyrra to the far side of the room. Before he could open his mouth, she whisked herself away in a nearby lantern and reappeared on the catwalk above.

Now Leo was getting annoyed, and he wanted answers. "Hey, you crazy nymph! Since when can you pull that little stunt? Did you forget to tell me?"

She waved down to him and said, "Never mind! Just get up here!"

"No! Tell me! You've been acting weird since you magically poofed into my Leo-cave!"

"Poofed? I am not some fairy! They don't even exist!"

Leo rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to argue about the validity of magic and fairies with a nymph at a camp for godly spawn. "Yeah, I noticed after you tried to jump my bones in my own bedroom! You're too loco to be one. Now tell me what the fuck is going on!"

"Tsk tsk tsk, Leo Valdez. That's a drachma in the swear jar for you."

"PYRRA!"

She giggled like a toddler that found the secret stash of Halloween candy before disappearing from the edge of the catwalk. Leo groaned and ran a hand through his hair, having no choice but to follow her up the ladder.

When he reached the top, he spotted her down to his left. As he stormed up to her, she crouched down in front of something and peered into it. When he was close enough he saw she was peeping into a boarded up passageway.

"What are you doing?" he asked, very flat. Maybe she'd get the hint.

"Shh. I heard something in here earlier," she whispered, never taking her eyes out of the slit.

He said rather loudly, "You dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night because you heard something down the blocked passageway? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Two drachmas."

"Argh!" He growled and raised his hands in the air. Fireballs erupted in his palms and ferocity blazed in his eyes. He wanted to Hulk-smash this girl for being so annoying. Did nymphs PMS? Or was Pyrra just that kind of special tonight?

Just then, he heard a scuffling down below towards the other end of the bunker. Pyrra's eyes immediately darted over there, and a devilish grin crawled across her face. She raced past him and melted into the flame.

He raced to catch her, sliding down the side of the ladder like a bad-ass fireman. As he was sprinting towards the storage area, he caught sight of the psycho nymph standing outside of the supply closet with a flame already alight in her hand.

"It's in here," she whispered. She was a lioness on the prowl, ready to pounce at the poor rat that got stuck in the closet. Leo almost felt bad for it.

He reached down into his tool belt in case this was a magical mutant Greek monster rat, and he scowled when he looked down. He was now armed with a small bottle of Lemon Pledge. Fan-freakin'-tastic.

"Open the door," Leo said.

She snickered, "Why? Are you going to leave it clean and dust-free after I find it?"

"Bite me. Just open the damn door."

"That's another drachma –"

"Pyrra!"

With her free hand, Pyrra threw the door open so it almost fell off its hinges. It was dark and musty inside, but the nymph's flame was providing enough light to see. As they crept inside, Leo heard another scuffle at the far end. They tiptoed further, and Leo could feel Pyrra's grin from a few feet away. She really was crazy tonight, and it was starting to scare him.

There, cowering at the other end of the supply closet was a three-legged table. It was about three feet high, with a rounded top made of wood. There were three bronze legs underneath, and they were almost shaking with stress. Puffs of steam were erratically shooting out the vents, and Leo felt terrible for terrifying the walking creation. Could tables be emotionally stressed? Leo wasn't sure.

Leo looked over to his left where Pyrra was still standing with her flaming hand raised, ready to strike. He smacked her arm and told her to put it away.

"You can't attack a table, you idiot," he told her. She must have been going through some crazy nymph-hormone stuff; he'd never seen her act like this. "You're scaring the bolts out of him."

He crouched low and scuttled up to the table and held out the Lemon Pledge as a peace offering. The mechanical table leaned forward and seemed to sniff his hand. Before Leo knew what was going on, it was rubbing against him and purring like a kitten and blowing steam in his face.

I've been slacking on updates, so I decided to give you a longer chapter this time. I hope you enjoy it! I had fun writing this one.

As always, thank you to everyone who has reviewed and followed and favorited! It really means a lot to me. I hope to hear from you guys about this chapter as well *hint hint*

Thanks again!