Hey all,

Thanks for the reviews. They are so appreciated especially with all my tech difficulties. I've loaded this up practically sentence by sentence and it will now save no more. I have tried on my phone, iPad etc, so the chapter ends abruptly as it's not the end.

Thanks and sorry and of course keep the reviews coming! I'm working the next two days so fingers crossed I get my writing done!

tab :-)

Chapter 8

The house was quiet. Thanks to the rigidity of the structure, with the doors closed, noise didn't carry, and despite the fact that he was making no noise, no noise from the floor above was reaching his ears. The silence was agony. The not knowing was agony. Would they emerge entwined with one another? Would Dawson storm out and never come back? Would Dawson march down the stairs and punch him in the face? And the cliffhanger of all questions - would Joey kiss him? With a sigh, he stood and got the box of matches from beside the fire, bending over to set the fire alight. He watched the flames catch, grabbing onto the kindling with rasping fingers of heat, and he sighed again. Standing he careful lit each candle he'd placed around the room and then turned on an album of Christmas tunes. Heading to the oven he loaded in sausage rolls, spring rolls, and various other delicacies he'd made at work and brought home. He'd put the mince pies in later. Knowing Joey's lot the food would be demolished. With slow methodical movements he poured red wine, orange juice and spice packets into a large saucepan and put it on a low heat. The first bang on the door came moments later and could only be Jack.

'Pacey,' Jack grinned broadly, barging past him and hanging up his coat, dragging Jen behind him.

'Pace,' Jen grinned.

'You guys are first,' Pacey told them a little tightly.

'What's up? You look like your cat died? And where's Joey?' Jen asked as she hung up her coat, stuffing her hat and scarf in the sleeve.

'Upstairs with Dawson,' Pacey admitted and bit his lip at the surprising sting of tears.

'Upstairs with Dawson?' Jack practically screeched, his outrage evident.

'Dawson turned up an hour or so ago,' Pacey explained as they headed through to the kitchen so Pacey could get them drinks.

'And how did it go when Joey came home this morning?' Jen asked observing him carefully.

'She um kissed me - I was under the mistletoe and she kissed me. She asked me to sleep with her, just sleep, and asked me if I would tell Dawson I loved her. That was before we even knew he'd be here. I asked her to choose me, no ultimatums but I begged her. And now they're up there probably making up,' he opened a beer and drank enthusiastically.

'You don't know that,' Jack hedged and Pacey shrugged because he knew Dawson and he knew Joey, and whilst Joey might be mad, she'd probably try. The doorbell sounded and Jack gave him an affectionate hug and headed to answer it.

The more people who arrived, the less jovial Pacey was managing to be. He'd been left to host this party alone and heartbroken, surely that was a recipe for a disastrous, sucky party? Nobody else seemed to think the party was sucky. The crowd was lively and a little rowdy, making good use of the booze and the mistletoe, the food being eaten so quickly he relegated himself to the kitchen to warm up more. That was where she found him.

'Hey Pace,' her voice was soft, creeping into him and filtering out the ridiculous animaniacs christmas song someone had put on, clearly reliving their childhood.

'Joey,' he turned to stare at her. 'Umm...how are you?' he asked awkwardly.

'Tired,' she said and budged him aside with her hip so she could pour herself a mug of mulled wine. The silence practically swallowed them despite the crazy noise of the party.

'Where's Dawson?' he asked, barely able to say the words.

'Somewhere here,' she answered, 'talking to your brother.'

'Oh,' he bit back his distress, fought the tears and crouched to look in the oven. He stayed there, feeling a little pathetic.

'Pace, are you ok?' she was crouched beside him looking in at the mini baked goods warming in the oven.

'Not really,' he admitted, 'not at all.'

'He kissed me you know? As soon as we got up there he kissed me, put his hands all over me,' Joey said the words staring at the oven. Pacey had to wonder what he'd done to be subjected to the torture she'd decided to put him through. His hands gripped at the oven door and he thought that were he some supernatural being there would be no oven door. 'I felt nothing,' she continued and his eyes snapped to hers.

'You felt nothing?' he echoed.

'Nothing,' she concurred, sitting on the kitchen floor, shielded from the rest of the party between the breakfast bar and the oven, all around them noise and chaos. Pacey carefully maneuvered himself until he was sat beside her.

'What about Dawson?' he asked.

'Dawson? Dawson thought I was swayed, that I forgave him and I don't. What he did was cruel, and he knew.'

'Knew what?'

'How hard I find it to trust people.'

'Because they always leave?' he filled in suddenly understanding.

'And he left, he did. That's what he did when he should have known how it would feel, and all under the guise of time.'

'But you still love him,' he stated feeling like his guts had been ripped out.

'Hmmm I thought I did. I knew I held affection for him and an unhealthy respect for his actions, but I'm not sure our relationship would have ever worked, with him always wanting me to be this person I'm not, this person who sits in adoration and whom is totally predictable. I don't think he's a bad person, but I'm not in love with him - I don't think I ever was.'

'Dawson doesn't mean to be the way he is, sometimes he's just oblivious because it's part and parcel of his optimism,' Pacey shocked himself by offering up some defence of Dawson.

'I know, but I can't help thinking I'd never really be happy, or even myself in a life spent with Dawson. Combine that with the lack of sexual chemistry - on my side anyway and it's all doomed.'

'How did he take it?' Pacey asked, his hand shifting infinitesimally on the floor so that it was just a little closer to hers. His heart was racing, his stomach was doing leaping somersaults and he thought he might throw up, though his voice belied his turmoil.

'He plans to... "win me back" whatever that means. I'm not even sure how he would plan to do that given the ridiculous nature of everything,' she actually laughed, 'I mean I live here and he lives in LA and that's the way it's going to be. I mean did we honestly think this could work, for the next... how ever many years?'

'Sometimes we think it's worth a try,' Pacey hedged, wondering how much more he could take. 'For you, I'd try.'

'Well he and I tried and failed,' she shrugged, her shoulder bumping his.

'Is he looking to punch me?' Pacey asked after a beat of silence.

'Hmmm, yes. Most definitely. Maybe if we hide long enough and Doug doesn't betray us he'll leave,' she gave him a little smile. 'I told him what I made you do...'

'You didn't make me,' he protested.

'I instigated it but he blames you. Apparently I was "innocent and vulnerable" and you "took advantage." I told him I asked you for help, but he thinks you somehow hoodwinked me. Has he always been this ridiculous when he's jealous? I mean I'm a grown woman and if I ask you to try and make me come well that's my choice. He left me Pace and you were so careful of my feelings, so clear that I might not be resolved, but you helped me. His lips disappeared he was so mad, even more so when I let it slip that you may have succeeded where he failed. He asked if we'd had sex and I said no. I told him I asked and you said no and the vein in his forehead popped out. I think I was venting my anger at him,' she shot him an apologetic sideways glance and his insides twisted even more,

'And... umm.. How did you leave things?' his voice was barely above a whisper, as he turned to look at her. Her eyes were large and fixed on him, her bottom lip clamped between her top teeth. She looked gorgeous. She hadn't even dressed for the party, probably because of Dawson, but even just wearing a pair of jeans and wooly sweater she looked lush and goddess like. He'd never wanted any girl more. She shifted, maybe half a centimetre in his direction, maybe just because she turned towards him more fully, her legs curling under her.

The silence stretched and she just stared at him.

'You can kiss me,' she said at length, her voice a heavy breath between them.

'There's no mistletoe,' he stated, his words faltering with his insecurity.

'You don't need mistletoe,' she responded and he wasn't sure he could take much more.

'You need to kiss me,' he choked out.

'Ok then,' she whispered and shifted again until she was clumsily pressing her lips against his, her warm mouth invading his without any holding back, her arms wrapping around his neck. It was all he wanted because they both knew what that kiss meant. She moaned softly into his mouth.

'Jo,' he groaned her name into the kiss, tugging at her, pulling her onto his lap, until they were entangled in a clumsy embrace hidden between the oven and the breakfast bar.

'I love you Pacey,' she murmured the words into heated kisses, as she pressed her body against his. He broke the kiss and stared at her,

'You love me?' he was shocked.

'Of course I do you doofus,' she grinned and whacked him softly on the head, 'you're the most wonderful person I've ever met. It's impossible not to love you.'

'Impossible?' he asked, a slow smile stretching across his face.

'Ugh, yes. Even that smile melts me inside,' she grumbled kissing him again, and then kissing him with more enthusiasm, a moan in the back of her throat.

'Wait,' he mumbled into the kiss.

'Huh?'

'It's not lust is it? I mean, you don't just think you love me because well...'

'Because you made me come?' she giggled and he blushed. 'I love that you make me come, I mean I really love it and I can't deny I'm looking forward to more... But no Pacey, I don't have a lust addled brain. I loved you before you kissed me that day under the mistletoe. I can't pin point it, I can't, but you just make me feel good inside,' she told him and he chuckled, pressing his lips to the gap of skin between her neck and the top of her sweater. 'That's funny huh?' she teased softly, her hands threading through his hair.

'It's just unexpected. I hoped...but really, I never expected that... well that this would be the end result.'

'You really are heavy on the self deprecation aren't you?'

'Dawson is everything I'm not...' he began but she interrupted with a smile,

'I know, good cop, bad cop, good twin, evil twin, golden child, proverbial screw up.'

'Yeah, all that,' he pressed a kiss to her neck.

'I think it has never really been that way. You see I don't think you're bad or evil, or a screw up. I think you're my best friend. I think you're more thoughtful than other people, and in ways that really matter because you don't do things with agenda, you do them because someone needs them. You're beautiful and sexy, and kind and funny, and cavalier when I need cavalier but never inappropriately so. You get me Pace. We're the same.'

'And entirely different,' he grinned at her as she nodded with a smile.

'You don't pretend to know everything about me even though you know me better than anyone.'

'And so you love me?' he asked looking up at her under your lashes.

'Yes.'

'Will you love me and stay here?'

'Huh?' she frowned.

'I don't want you to move out, but I want you to be my girlfriend. I don't want it to be too much but I want both those things. Hugely.'

'You see, there's another example of your perfection,' she grumbled. 'I'm not going anywhere. I love this house and I love my room. I may want to sleep in your room more often than not, but I'll stay if you're sure.'

'So let's be clear here Potter. You're staying?'

'Yes.'

'You love me?'

'Yes.'

'You're my girlfriend?'

'Yes.'

'And I can kiss you anytime I want?'

'Yes,' she concurred one last time before he tugged at her crashing his lips to hers.

Joey was straddling his lap and kissing him, her hands up her shirt. He wasn't all that comfortable, leaning as he was against the breakfast bar, but he also couldn't have cared less. It was a truly hedonistic experience to kiss her with no shadow of Dawson looming between them, to know that she was his to touch, that to be as extremely turned on by her as he was, was good and that if she chose to do something about it there would be no twinge of guilt. Just the thought had him tugging at her, his fingers tweaking at her nipple, his mouth swallowing her moan.

'Don't mind me...your baking is burning,' Jack's voice broke the haze and Pacey opened his eyes to see both Jack and Jen grinning down at them. Joey pressed one last kiss to his closed lips and opened her hazy eyes before turning to glare at her friends.

'You two make quite the hosting duo,' Jen exclaimed sarcastically,

'Everyone's having a great time,' Pacey huffed as the sounds of general frivolity, loud music and drunkenness filtered through to him.

'Yeah, a great time, but there have been a few comments about the burning smell.'

'Shit,' Pacey grumbled as he looked at the burnt mince pies Jack was pulling from the oven - Joey loved mince pies.

'Dawson has also set up a man hunt.'

'I'll handle Dawson,' Pacey grumbled as Joey reluctantly got off of him, then held out a hand to pull him to his feet. 'If that's ok?'

'He's just my ex - he's your best friend. You tell him what you want and do what you want. All is fine by me.'

'Well good,' Pacey grinned because she was with him and didn't want to hide it. He kept a hold of her hand and looked over the ruined mince pies. 'I'll just bin these and put more in the oven,' he explained and Joey laughed,

'Let's go mingle,' she said to Jack and Jen, 'he's in the zone.'

'Hmmm, ok,' he kissed her quickly and then a second time, but then she fused her lips to his.

'Ok, you're with us,' Jen grabbed her arm and dragged her away as Pacey focussed on binning the burnt pies and fetching more from the fridge.

'So she told you I assume,' Dawson's drunk voice. Fuck, why did he have to get drunk. Drunk Dawson meant a Dawson who was spending the night and Pacey really wasn't in the mood for that.

'She told me a lot of stuff actually,' Pacey stayed focussed on his pies.

'I'll win her back, you'll see,' he stated.

'I should be honest Dawson. I mean we've been friends for a long time. I love her and she loves me. We're together.'

'You're together?' Dawson began to laugh, a slightly drunken laugh of disbelief. 'Has anyone ever told you that you are with out a doubt the worst friend in the entire world? I mean you steal my girlfriend. You, the guy that creates mini baked goods steals my girlfriend. I create masterpieces and yet she wants you.'

'D, you left her. However you might justify it you left her and it was over.'

'Whatever helps you sleep,' Dawson nonchalantly squashed one of Pacey's pies.

'Come on man, that's a little childish.'

'I don't think it's childish,' he squashed another at a clear disadvantage with his advanced inebriation, on the acting like a grown up front.

'That's what this is all about isn't it? It's not that she doesn't want you, it's that she wants me and not you, and you don't understand that because why would anyone want me when they could have you.'

'You went after my girlfriend.'

'I didn't. I loved her but I didn't go after her, never when she was your girlfriend.'

'Well you sure didn't waste any time,' Dawson squashed four pies in one go making Pacey wince.

'I didn't waste time, you're right and I'm sorry. I am sorry, but I wouldn't change it.'

'I'll, get her back.'

'She's a free agent. I'm just lucky because she loves me.'

'And you honestly think you can hang around for the inevitable months of no sex, maybe a lifetime of it? You? Sex obsessed you?' Dawson dropped a pie on the floor and stamped on it.

'Yeah,' he shrugged. 'At least I can make her come,' he had to say it, revenge for his mince pies.

'You bastard,' and Dawson hit him in the face, not a huge surprise, though Pacey wasn't expecting quite such a huge slug. Pacey would have hit him back. In the dark days after Sophie died he'd have pummelled him to the ground, but he'd changed and even though he was angry, even though he was full of seething rage, he breathed it out, a task that was infinitely easier when Doug appeared and restrained Dawson from a second punch, when Joey appeared at his side, her hands inspecting the damage.

'I think I kind of deserved it,' Pacey admitted from his perch on the edge of the bath as Joey dabbed at the wound.

'You have done nothing wrong.'

'Ex girlfriends are kinda off limits.'

'At school maybe...but when you're thousands of miles apart? No,' she shook her head and pulled out some steristrips.

'He might never speak to me again, but you're worth it,' he told her, a genial hand on her cheek. She laughed though,

'Says you, the guy who had all his baking squashed and was punched in the face all within ten minutes of becoming my boyfriend.'

'Yeah, but I have you,' he tugged her between his legs, his hands on her ass.

'You do, but you should mend things with him. He's your best friend and if you and I don't work out you may regret not working things out.'

'Wow, it's been half an hour and we're not working out?' he teased and she pressed a kiss to his neck,

'You know what I mean,' she covered the cut with a bandage and pressed a light kiss to the top. 'Some ibuprofen for the pain and swelling and you're good.'

'Hmmm,' he tugged her lips to his. 'You wanna go make out?'

'We're hosting a party,' she smiled into the kiss.

'We're sucky hosts,' he drew her tongue into his mouth, 'please?'

'Sure,' she shrugged easily, and taking his hand turned and led him from the bathroom and into his room, straight to the bed and pulled him down on top of her, their lips crashing together, his body slotting between her legs. Realizing he didn't have to question every touch any longer, Pacey's hands took on a life of their own and began to steadily remove each item of clothing on her, worshipping all they exposed, until he was trailing feather light touches over smooth as silk thighs and encountering heat that made him feel heady. His lips wrenched themselves from her chest and he shimmied down the bed until he was pressing a warm wet kiss between her legs.

'Pacey,' she squealed his name and her hand flew between her legs to prevent him from having further contact.

'No one tried to make you come like this?' he asked with amusement, especially loving the warm red colour of her cheeks.

'No,' she added her other hand.

'I want to,' he told her, kissing up her thigh, 'I really, really want to. I want to smell you. I want to taste you.'

'Really?' she frowned, her scepticism obvious and he laughed,

'God yeah,' he lifted her hands away and kissed her again, thoroughly pleased by her soft sound of surprise. He inhaled and felt a little giddy, which he knew was ridiculous, but everything about her turned him on and she was willing to open up to him, that Joey, the girl that couldn't come would let him put his mouth on her most intimate area and let him taste her and smell her and hopefully let him make her come. 'You're so fucking gorgeous,' he breathed before putting his face between her legs and licking, sucking and touching the orgasm out of her.

For a girl who'd spent her entire life unable to come, he felt pretty smug about how quickly he could have her panting, her hands pushing his face towards her, her whole body arching off the bed as his mouth finally coaxed her over the edge, his name a scream on her lips, as she tugged him by his hair up her body so she could devour his lips in a heated kiss.

'You can do that again,' she crooned into the kiss, 'or sex. Please sex.'

'Sure,' he smiled into her hair, holding her against him.

'How is it you still have all your clothes on and I'm naked?'

'I think I was just very keen to get you naked,' he shrugged making her laugh,

'I don't think you have any idea quite how amazing you look naked,' she pushed a hand under his shirt.

'Come on Jo, I have a mirror,' he teased and was rewarded with another laugh.

'You wanna know something funny?'

'Sure,' he leaned on his elbow so he could see her.

'A couple of times...I attempted to make Dawson think he'd had...success,' she hedged.

'You mean you faked it?'

'Well yeah, because when there's no end it just sorta goes on forever. The thing is, I had no idea what I was doing and my fakegasm is nothing like my real one.'

'Well now you have to do it,' he told her.

'Well maybe I will, but that would mean you have to suck and not you know...finish me.'

'Just fake it for me now, go on, please?' he gave her puppy dog eyes.

'Let's just say it was a cross between Meg Ryan in When Harry Met Sally and a patient suffering from the gastric flue,' she giggled.

'That sounds awesome. Please Joey,' he pressed kisses to her cheeks.

'Ok, ok,' she waved her hands in front of her face, clearly in an effort to stop the giggles, but each time she produced a moan she giggled again.

'Just do the gastric patient moan, that'll do me I promise,' he hid his face in her chest, as he heaved with silent laughter. She was quite frankly ridiculous, which was why he loved her so much, especially when she produced a noise something like a dying puppy.

'Did he buy it?' he asked when he could finally talk.

'He was encouraged by it,' she offered up weakly and then pulled him on top of her at a loud knock at the door,

'It's Jen and I'm sorry I'm interrupting what I'm sure is lovely hot nookie but Drue's thrown up and Audrey broke a bottle. I can't find the dust pan because it's not under the sink, so put some clothes on and come host.'

'Be there in a minute,' Pacey grumbled, 'who's bright idea was this party anyway?'

'Yours of course,' she tutted.

'Well let's go get drunk, have fun and spend all day in bed tomorrow. We can be naked, eat pizza, watch movies...'

'Hmmm, sounds great. Now where did you fling my bra?' she gave him a sultry smile.