Chapter 1

She pressed the red call button in shock, effectively ending the call, and sunk back down on the couch with her head in her hands and elbows on her knees. Her head was on overdrive as it was trying to sort out the mess of her thoughts while she was looking distantly out the window of her city apartment, not really taking anything of what was happening below her in. The news that had been delivered to her over the phone scared her more than anything and made her feel sick to her stomach. Despite the fact that she might have been mad and hurt by the man, she never once wished him or his family any harm. Just the thought of his face, that handsome face with the defined jaw and those piercing grey eyes, and the sound of his deep voice that was imbedded in her mind probably for the rest of her life was enough to bring tears to her eyes. One by one they fell down her face as she was not strong enough to keep them in, her defense was crumbling and all the walls she had built over the last year to protect herself was slowly caving.

All she wanted to do was be there with him so that she could hold his hand and make sure everything was okay. But the words that had been haunting her in the back of her mind for the last eighteen months, "He already knows… He's the one that put you here.", kept holding her back. So was also the pictures that she had been showed of him living his life like nothing ever happened, he was moving on without her. It had hurt, hell it still hurt when she thought about it. She remembered every single second she had spent together with him and putting those memories next to the pictures she felt like breaking. It was like she got everything thrown back in her face that what they had, what they shared, meant absolutely nothing to him and it meant absolutely everything to her. But then she would shake herself out of it and remind herself of all the things they gone through and that he wouldn't have stuck to it if it meant nothing, but time pasted and the thought became would grow stronger and stronger. Eventually she asked them to stop sending her updates from back home, if they were moving on so was she and then she couldn't keep remembering the past.

Despite all that a big part of her still wanted to go and see him because somehow she still loved him. Not only had she been given the chance to see him again after all this time but she had also been given a reason to go back to the place she had begun to call home, where all her loved once were and where she had once been happy. She had been given the chance to go back to her old life, she was being allowed to go back. Not wanting to dwell on it any longer she quickly picked up the phone before she could change her mind and called them back

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The inspector nodded towards them as he finished talking before walking down the hall to give them some space and privacy to process what he had just told them. She found herself in a daze, not really sure if she was awake or asleep and having a really weird but good dream. She was alive. After all this time thinking she was dead they find out that she has been alive the whole time. It kept repeating in her head but she kept sitting on the plastic chair not feeling a thing, she was numb and she was feeling everything at once but not able to latch onto one. Was she supposed to be angry that she had been keeping this from them the entire time, just upping and leaving them to their own devices and let them believe that she was dead? Was she supposed to be happy and grateful for the simple fact that her best friend was indeed still alive and well? But it became a mixture of both. Flashes of their last encounters before she supposedly died kept playing in her head and it had almost driven her mad with guilt the first couple of months. She couldn't stand nor believe that her last words to her had been angry and hateful over something so seemingly pitiful now when you knew the outcome.

She was brought out of her daze as she caught Heath moving and reacting for the first time since they were told the news out of the corner of her eye. When he spoke, he spoke loud enough for the Inspector to hear him from down the hall where he was currently speaking on the phone.
"I want her here." His voice was calm and low, nothing that indicated that the news had upset him or made him angry in any way. But what shocked her the most was what he had said and not the fact that he wasn't upset. The Inspector quickly ended his phone call and rushed over to them.

"What?" He was clearly as shocked as she was. It hadn't been a surprise around the town or at the station that Heath was not her best friend's biggest fan. She never thought she would actually hear Heath wanting her around, especially now after what they just had been told.
"You heard me, I want her hear!" He growled out, clearly having lost his patience. "My brother is in a coma. A coma he would not be in if he had not lost her and gotten in bed with that dog or that sister of his." He was gesturing with his hands and his eyes was almost black, but if he was angry with her best friend, Adam or Ricky you couldn't tell but she pitted whoever was going to take the burn of it. She knew how well connected the brothers were and that they would not do well if they lost each other, they were all any of them knew and had. Losing each other would be the end of them. "So I think it's more than fare that she's here to help cleaning up the mess she left. I want Charlie Buckton here!"

The Inspector was too shocked by the outburst to do anything but nod as he couldn't find any words. He picked up his phone again and dialed a number before walking down the hall again so that they would not be able to hear what was being said. When his mouth started moving she turned her attention back to Heath as he was looking in front of him while mumbling to himself like he was trying to make sense of it all.
"Can you believe it? After everything Brax went through, what we went through we find out that she has been alive the whole time and that it was all for nothing."

"I'm sure there's a really good reason! Charlie wouldn't just up and leave like that, especially not after everything was sorting itself out."
"Yeah well what good will it do now?! Brax is now in here and might not even make it!"

Her heart was aching for her man, he felt so strongly and was some kind of a bomb that could go of at any minute. He acted on his emotions and the feelings he felt in that moment, it controlled him and his actions. Not knowing what else to say without stepping on any toes and making it worse she just put her arm around his waist to show him that she was there. His arms eventually came up around her shoulders and brining her in closer, slowly she could feel him relax and they quickly went back to what they had been doing before. Waiting.

She had almost fallen asleep in the plastic chair she had been occupying for the last day or so when she heard footsteps approaching. Removing her head from Heath's chest, that was fast asleep, she looked up and got another shock of her life for the second time in only a couple of hours. Walking through the corridors towards them was a familiar slim brunette with brown hair that reached her waist and the closer she got the more of her she could take in. A pair of familiar turquoise eyes glimmered in the light coming from the fluorescent lights in the ceiling, eyes that she had only known one other person than Ruby to have and that was her mother. She was really here, she was actually still alive. The brunette stopped a few feet away from where she sat and she had to try her hardest to stop her jaw from hitting the floor. They stared at each other like they couldn't really believe, just trying to take the other in. She didn't dare to move or speak and even less blink, afraid that Charlie might disappear if she did and that it would all just be a dream.

"Hi Bianca!" She spoke carefully and it was obvious that she was terrified as well and not quite sure how to act. The sound of her voice was all it took for her to break out of her trance and break down, the tears that had been building up in her eyes broke away and fell down her face and she had to put her hand over her mouth to stop a heartbreaking sob from escaping. She broke out from her trance and threw herself at her best friend, nothing else mattered than the fact that she was hugging her friend again.

"I've missed you Charlie."

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She could not believe that she was actually back here again. As soon as they had neared Summerbay her eyes had been locked on the window, eager to take in all the familiar scenery. The last time she had driven down these roads she had been driving out of town and not even in her wildest dream had she dared imagine or hope that she would one day be driving down the same roads again. All the way down here she had been too focused on her surroundings that reality didn't really set in until they drove into the parking lot at the hospital. She could feel her heart raising and her breathing became slightly faster and shallow, the nervousness she had felt since she had called back and told them she was coming set in.

Her so called "guards" lead her through the entry where people were coming and going constantly, they walked through corridor after corridor and the closer they got to the room the bigger the urge to turn around and go home became. Her eyes flickered back and forth nervously at the same time as she wringed her hands together, she could almost hit herself for her cowardice and she told herself to get herself together but it did no good. She had no idea how anyone would react, would they despise her for what she did or would they act indifferent? But her biggest worry had to be what it would be like to see Brax again after all this time. The thoughts were spinning in her head, almost making her dizzy and her paranoia grew by the minute.

When they arrived by the room she found Heath and Bianca cuddled up in what looked like a very uncomfortable position on the plastic chairs that were placed outside the room. To say that she was surprised would be an understatement, she had been around when Bianca had had a thing for Heath but she had ditched him for Liam so she never thought they would have another chance even less that they would last. Heath was fast asleep but Bianca was half sitting and looking straight at her, her eyes were wide with astonishment like she couldn't quite believe what she was seeing. She knew that they had been informed about her arrival but she gathered that it had to be quite a shock to actually see it. They just stood there and watch each other for a couple of minutes and when she could see the tears in Bianca's eyes she could feel her own stinging slightly. Feeling like she had to be the one to break the silence and say something she squeaked out a pathetic "Hi" but it seemed like it was all it took. She had Bianca in her arms in seconds and they were both proclaiming how sorry they were and how much they had missed each other The familiarity of the embrace let her bring down her walls and she could feel how her shirt was getting wetter by their tears, whether they were hers or Bianca's she didn't know but she had a feeling it was a little bit of both. During her time away she had found herself more than once picking up her phone, ready to call Bianca for a girly talk before catching herself in the last moment. Even though they had been nowhere near good terms when she had been shot she still loved her and wanted nothing more than to have her best friend there to lean on when her life fell apart.

They broke apart when Heath stirred on the chair behind them, startling them out of their own little bubble of happiness. She was stunned by the reaction, she had no idea what she had been expecting but that was not it. Anger she had expected, at least a little like a slap in the face before they moved on, but it had all been smiles and happy tears. Calming herself down a little bit she turned around to face Heath while nibbling nervously on her bottom lip, cause if she was expecting anger from anyone it was from Heath, but she almost fell backwards when she found him smiling. He had never smiled at her before, it was an odd feeling.

"It's good to see you, Buckton!" He said without even the slightest hint of anger.

"It's good to see you too Heath!" She smiled slightly back at him, still not over the shock of seeing him smile a genuine smile instead of a mocking smile, before collecting herself. "So are you going to tell me why I'm here?"

Heath looked first at Bianca before looking back to her, suddenly looking very nervous which slightly unnerved her since Heath rarely became nervous, he was pretty much fearless and did things before thinking them through properly. At least the Heath she used to know. This one who stood in front of her took a deep calming breath before speaking up.

"I need you to talk to Brax."
"Heath… I don- What good would that do? He's in a coma."

"The doc said that it sometimes helps to talk to people who's in a coma and we found out that you were alive I figured you could I don't know shock him out of it or something… You have been the only one I've known that could get through to him and from what I remember you can be pretty scary if you want to." He tried to laugh it off but even his laugh was halfhearted and he sounded really tiered. It was first then that she really took him in, he had bags under his eyes and his whole demeanor looked like he had given up and all of him screamed of fatigued. "Come on Charlie!" He said when he saw her hesitate. "You meant the world to him and he would do absolutely anything for you, so if you told him to get his shabby ass back here he would do it in a heartbeat."

There was one time when she actually believed that as well, how he had been concerned about her when she had been hit over the head with a bottle or when he did his best to try and reassure her, show her that he would never play her. But what got to her most was how he threw himself in front of a car to push her out of gun range and that he came for her when she was being held hostage by Hammar. That was something she only thought he would do for his brothers, throw himself in the line of danger without thinking about the repercussions for himself, but for some crazy reason he did it for her as well. But things change and perspective change, the pictures she had been showed and what she had been told changed her point of view completely and she started doubting if he had ever cared about her at all.

She was on the verge of saying no but the desperate look on Heath's face made her feel obligated at least try. It was obvious that he missed his brother, they may not always get along and they might not be the most expressive with their feelings but that didn't mean that they cared any less. It had been him and Brax for a long time before Casey came along and later on Kyle, they might not be the tightest of the bunch but they had a connection that none of the other brothers shared. They only had each other to rely on when things got though when they were kids and they always, always had each other's back and she wasn't too sure if they would manage to cope without each other. So she caved and let herself be lead into the room by Heath.

She knew it would be horrifying but this was not what she was expecting and she was pretty sure that nothing could have prepared her for it. The sight she was met by as she walked into the room shocked her to her bones. She couldn't believe that the person lying in the bed was the strong, unbreakable man she had once been in love with, was still in love with. She could hardly recognize him and the only thing that made her really sure that it was him was the familiar "Blood and Sand" tattoo that covered his bare chest that was visible above the sheet. Otherwise he looked nothing like the man she once knew. His usually tanned skin looked sickly pale and his face looked tired despite the sort of peaceful look on his face. There were several different machines and IV's hooked up to various parts of his body that were giving of loud sounds in the quiet room. He looked so vulnerable laying there on the bed hooked up to all those machines that were helping him breathe and monitoring his heartbeat.

She had been so busy taking it in and distracted by all the tubes and needles that she had managed to miss the tears that now rolled freely down her face but she didn't bother wiping them away. She was scared of losing him even though he wasn't hers to lose, all the feelings she had pressed away with anger and betrayal resurfaced and she couldn't deny that the feelings were still as strong as they had been then. There was only one other time when she had felt like this and had come close to losing him and that had been after he had rescued Casey and Ruby from Jake Pirovic.

She was positively fuming and on the very verge of exploding as she climbed the stairs that led up to Angelo's. How could he possibly have been so stupid going after Jake and let Ruby and Casey get mixed up in all that and now he wouldn't even pick up his phone to let her know that he was alright. Even though she was beyond angry and was ready to pounce on him she couldn't help that a part of her that was worried sick about him. Ruby had said that he had gotten into a fight with Jake to cause a distraction so that they could run away. They found blood on both the car and on the ground at the scene and Jake barely had a scratch on him when they found him in the booth of the car. And now the idiot would not pick his phone and let her know that he's still alive at least.

When she walked into the restaurant she saw him leaning against the bar in his white and black checked shirt-hoodie with a glass filled with a familiar brown liquid in front of him. His face was twisted slightly in pain and his breathing was slightly shallow but yet heavy.

"Why haven't you answered any of my calls?" When he winched in pain she walked faster and more determined over the floor towards the bar, worry edging inside of her. "We found blood all over the place, Brax and it wasn't Jake…"

"Charlie, Charlie…" His voice was weak, just barely above a whisper and before she knew it he was starting to disappear behind the bar and sink to the floor. Running around the counter she found him half lying on the floor, half leaning against the counter while a red spot started to form on his shirt. She sunk to her knees and gathered him against her chest trying while doing her best to try and get him to stay awake until the ambo could get there.

Later on at the hospital when she was sitting in his room by his bed keeping guard she couldn't take her eyes of him, scared that something might happen if she did and that she might risk losing him. She had held his hands to her lips all night as she mumbled and begged him to wake up and look her in the eye so that she could tell him how she really felt. But then Tegan had showed up with Darcy and he started to push her away.

That night she had come really close to lose him and that had made her realize how much he meant to her, it was actually the first time she had admitted that to herself and the fact that she was in love with him. But things never worked in their favor and now she was here again by his bedside in risk of losing him and realizing that she was still in love with him while waiting for him to wake up or leave her for good.

She walked closer to the bed to sit down in one of the chairs someone had pulled out before and grabbed a hold of one of his big hands. As soon as she touched him it was like she was electrocuted by the familiarity of his touch and memories started flowing. What those hands had done to her. How they had touched her when they had been alone, they were gentle, despite the roughness of them and the strength they held he was always so gentle with her. It was something that always baffled her, how the tough guy could be so gentle with her he almost brought her to tears. It almost pained her to think about all the secret touches they got away with in public that she could still feel on her body. All the anger and resentment was long forgotten for now and all that mattered was Brax waking up so that she could talk to him, she had so much she wanted to ask him, to talk to him about. She was nowhere near done with him yet.