Chapter 7

After leaving Charlie in Irene's place feeling wounded and with his pride knocked down in his shoes, he drove around town for over an hour before he pulled over at a secluded beach and headed out to the water with his board. Though the waves where as good as they got he didn't make an effort to catch one, he just sat on his board watching out over the water. His head was spinning and normally the only thing that helped clear his head was being out on the water, only not this time.

He still could not totally wrap his head around it. One second he had been enjoying himself, lying in bed and holding Charlie in his arms while watching her sleep and then the next he had been kicked out the door. He stayed out there for a really long time as his mind and heart was still with Charlie and there was no way he could go home to Ricky like that. But as he got more clearheaded he decided that he couldn't stay out there forever and paddled back to shore. The hour long drive home felt like the shortest one in history and when he parked his car in the driveway and saw Ricky's car, he almost gave up his right hand to get more time alone but he knew he had to face it sooner or later. Before opening and walking through the door he took a deep breath only to be met by Ricky, who came out of the kitchen as soon as he came in and he could see her let out a sigh of relief when their gazes met.

"Where have you been Brax? I've been worried sick!"
"I told you, I had to go to the city and sort some stuff out for the restaurant."
"Fine don't tell me then, but I thought you were going straight so that we could start over without all the complications?"
"You're so far off, it has nothing to do with that at all!" She let out a sarcastic laugh and her eyes narrowed slightly as she took him in before smiling sadly.

"You were with her weren't you? Charlie?" He opened his mouth, ready to speak and cover it with yet another white lie but she stopped him before he could get out a word. "Don't lie to me Brax! I told you from the start that if you don't want to be me to just come out and say so. I do not want to be around if I'm not wanted."
He could see the tears threatening to spill out from her eyes but she would not let them fall and show weakness, she was trying to keep up her cool and strong façade even when the words she spoke pained her.

"I gave up my brother for you Brax, because I fell for you and I couldn't bare hurting you once I realized it and that my brother was taking it too far. So why are you hurting me now? I've always known that a part of you would be out of reach for me, but I thought you would at least try and that if it didn't work you would at least be man enough to tell me." Her voice was cracking slightly and it pained him to see what he was doing to her, the pain he was causing her by simply doing nothing. It was not supposed to be this way, it was not supposed to be this confusing. "And if you weren't with her then just please tell me I'm wrong, because you have no idea how much I wish that was true!"

He couldn't take it anymore and with two quick steps he was by her side, holding her in his arms and his lips in her hair as he spoke.
"The other day when we went down to the police station I had seen Charlie just before and she was a mess Rick. She had just found out that the person who had tried to kill her was still out here somewhere." He could feel how she tensed up in his arms so he started to, awkwardly, trace soothing circles on her back. "She kept going on about how everything that has happened was her fault for not leaving the boys alone, she looked so scared and when I didn't hear from her for a few days I had to go around and see her. You have to understand that we never ended on bad terms, she was everything to me before she was taken from me. We were going to start a family and she was the one making me want to be better, she was always there for me so I had to be there for her. I-I didn't mean to hurt you so I think that it's better that we just end things, at least for now because we can't go on like this."

He could feel dampness on his shirt and by the stinging sensation in his eyes he could feel his own tearing up. It was the first time since Charlie returned that he had actually been totally honest about his feelings. He was going to make this right for everybody, hopefully for himself as well.

Ricky pulled back a bit from his chest and looked him straight in the eye, pinning him down with her gaze like she was looking for answers. When he guessed she had found what she was looking for, she leaned in and kissed him. It was a sweet kiss, not a seductive nor a desperate one. It showed how she felt and he could tell that it was her way of saying goodbye, she never had been one to put words on her feelings just like him. So he decided to do the same and put every emotion he could into it as well. His one hand found the back of her neck and the other one sneaked around her lower back, pulling her closer to him. When the kiss ended they stayed in their embrace and leaned their foreheads together as her hand found its way to his cheek and stroked it gently.
"Goodbye Brax!" With one last peck she broke their embrace and walked towards the front door and he was starting to slightly panic because he knew that when she was gone it was over for good. He wouldn't go back to her once everything had settled down and she knew that as well.

"Ricky, I love you!" She stopped and gave him a sad, but warm smile over her shoulder, her eyes still glistering with tears.
"I know. I love you too, remember that! Take care Brax." And with that she was gone and he could hear her car drive away, she was really gone. He sat down on the couch and hid his face in his hands, trying to calm himself and his breathing down. Just as it was toning down his phone rang in his back pocket. Picking it up in frustration he answered without checking the caller-id at first and what the person on the other end had to say almost made his heart stop and jump for joy at the same time.

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

After lying on the couch moping and having a good cry as she felt sorry for herself, she finally pulled herself together and jumped into the shower to wash off the reminders of last night. She let the hot water stream down her body, relaxing her muscles, as if she could literally wash all of yesterday down the drain. But it was of course wishful thinking because as soon as she got out and into her room, she saw the unmade bed with the tangled sheets and it all came rushing back. She quickly stripped the bed of the old sheets and threw them in the laundry before cleaning the entire room, making it look like something out of a home-decorating magazine, once she was satisfied she left the house for the first time in over a week, needing to clear her head. And as always she found herself walking along the beach of Summer bay, past the diner and the surf club towards Stewart's point.

Her entire day she spent on the beach, doing her very best to not think about Brax. She got her regular call from Ruby and they tried to squeeze in everything they wanted to say in that one, short call. Ruby, now that was someone she had missed absolutely the most as she was away. When she first heard about Ruby going to prison and what she had done, she could not help but feel disappointed in her but after a while the guilt set in. The guilt that she should have been there and if it wasn't for her leaving this would never have happened. Ruby wouldn't have been consumed with grief and fear of being left with none again, she wouldn't have been drawn to take such drastic actions to prevent it from happening. It ate her up that her daughter almost killed someone and went to prison because she thought that she was dead when she was in fact alive. Something she didn't find out until it was all too late. Now they had to make do with prison-visits every now and then, a phone call here and there and even some times traditional handwritten letters.

Hearing Ruby's voice today had made her day so much more bearable, it had taken her mind of everything else that was so fucked up in her life and it had temporarily filled the void in her heart, leaving her with a content warmth. Deciding that she had walked for long enough she plunked down in the sand and decided to watch people who were enjoying their day, surfing, playing around in the shallow water or relaxing in the sand catching some sun.

The new kids that had moved in at the caravan park and Zac's niece and nephew were laying a way away, laughing and enjoying that fact that school was out for a few weeks. Mr. Stewart was down by his bait-shop patching up one of his many fishing nets as a blonde, young girl was standing next to a boat with grease on her face, talking to a dark haired guy. She was looking up at him adoringly and was all smiles, a sign of someone being in love and she could tell that the guy felt exactly the same by the way he was gently stroking her cheek and putting a stray piece of hair back behind her ear. A smile crossed her own face as well at the sight, it was nice to see that it worked out for some people and that some actually had a shot of making it. When the man turned around their eyes met it was no one other than Casey. As soon as their eyes met he said something to the girl and started to make his way over.

She stood up and brushed off the sand on her butt as he approached, steeling herself for what's to come, prepared to bolt at any second. But the closer he got, the clearer his boyish smile got and she didn't feel the same urge to run a mile. His arms enveloped her into a tight embrace that almost lifted her feet of the ground and she couldn't help but let out a carefree laugh. She might not have been too close with Casey before she supposedly died, they had their issues concerning Ruby and whatever but they had managed to work through. Well they sort of had to hadn't they? She was seeing his brother and him her daughter, they were going to live together in the city for crying out loud. He was a good kid and from what she gathered from others he had totally done a one-eighty, going from the boy who sought out trouble just so that he could feel more a part of his family, to a man who tried to make decisions that was best for the people he cared about. And that included the blonde girl she had just seen him with.

"It's so good to see you!" He said as he dropped her back to her feet and backed away.
"You too Case! I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to see you, it's just been a really crazy time."
"It's okay, I understand." He continued to grin so big she was scared it would split his face, never once did it waver or lose its blinding effects.

"So that's your girl ay?"
"Yeah, that's Denny. We met a few months back, I acted like a nervous teenager and almost scared her off by being so embarrassing, but I must have done something right because she stuck around. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me and the fact that she stuck around after all of this… that just makes her even more amazing."
"I'm really happy for you!" The way he spoke about, the words he used to describe her and the look he got in his eye, the far and distant one like he couldn't quite believe it, made her almost envy him and Denny. She knew how crazy, messed up family problems that ended in gunfire could affect a relationship, no matter how strong it was and it amazed her that two young people made it through something she was still struggling with and she was supposed to be the adult.
"So when are you going to get your own happy, Charlie?"

"Wh-what are you talking about Case?"
"Come on! Don't you think I have seen both you and Brax moping around over the last couple of weeks? We can't even mention your name without him going all weird on us, it's eating him up, not being with you. You should have seen his face when he first got back from testings after he woke up, he was so worried yet so excited. He thought he had just imagined you at first, but when he realized he hadn't? I don't think anything could beat the smile on his face. You mean the world to him and even though he has weird way of showing it, he loves you and whatever it is that's going on between you guys you should fix it. If anything your situation has showed us is that life's too short and we all know that you should be together, so why waste any more time preventing the inevitable?
"I really wish things were that simple but I'm afraid there's more to it than that."
"You two are to bloody stubborn for your own good!"
"Perhaps." She chuckled and started to back away. "I should head home, I have things to do before work. But it was nice to see you Case, don't be a stranger okay?"
"Yeah I'll see you around!"

Sharing a last few smiles she turned around and slowly started to walk back home. Once she got back she just plunked down on the couch and turned on the TV since she really didn't have any work, she just needed an excuse to get away. It had been nice seeing Casey but she couldn't help but worry that the more she was out in the open and with him the chances of Brax coming around grew and she was not in the mood to face him again, not when she just got rid of him. Totally losing herself in some daily soap-opera she totally forgot about the time and almost didn't hear the knocking on the door. Sighing she got up and dragged herself across the room to answer it.

Swinging it open she starred in shock, she had not been expecting Bianca to stand on the other side with a paper-bag in her hand. She had not been expecting to see Bianca at her door at all, they had not spoken or seen each other since they first met at the hospital when she arrived in town. Sure they had hugged and there had been tears shed but they still had so many unresolved issues and no time to resolve them, it seemed though that now was the time.
"You don't have to knock you know, it is your house!" She couldn't help but smile genuinely for the first time that day, she really had missed spending time with Bianca, talking and having witty banters.

"I know, I just didn't want to intrude on you considering… But I thought we might be able to talk and I brought lunch!" She held up the brown take-away bag higher and smiled as well.
"Well you better come in then!" She stepped aside and led her over to the sofa where Bianca started to pack up the food as she herself settled in.
"So… How have you been?"
"I've been okay considering, it's been a crazy couple of weeks settling back here with work and dealing with everything. And oh, did I mention that my killer is still out there?" She laughed bitterly.
"Yeah, I overheard Brax and Heath talking the other day and he mentioned you coming to the restaurant and that he hadn't heard from you for a couple of days. How are things between you really?" She kept quiet and didn't turn to look at Bianca but she could see in the corner of her eye how she was looking at her expectantly.
"Cause the last thing I heard was that you had words at the hospital when it still wasn't clear if you were going to stay or-"

"I told him about Grant, what he did and what he is to Ruby." It came out of nowhere before she could stop it and the surprise was evident on Bianca's face. Considering she had just blurted out the hard part she didn't see any point in not letting out the rest as well, god knows she needed someone she could talk about this. "He found me sitting on the wall by the point the night of the anniversary. I couldn't sleep as usual so I went out there to talk to dad and I ended up sitting there for hours, he just came out of nowhere and took me in his arms like nothing had happened and he would not let me go."

She smiled slightly at the found memory and she chocked up a little by merely thinking about it again. "He accidently got his hands on a letter that Grant's wife had sent me and he read it. So he pushed, he pushed until I told him everything. I told him absolutely everything, even how he came back and dad killing him. I thought he was going to be angry or disgusted by what I had done but he just held me."

Charlie turned to Bianca and let her see the vulnerable state she was in, red, watery eyes that was screaming of sadness and pain. She didn't even put up a fight when Bianca scooted closer and wrapped her arms around her, she just let herself being hold and having her hair stroked. It felt nice to have someone being there, ready to comfort her and allowing her to relax and break down.

Sure Brax had tried but it wasn't the same, she didn't want him to see her vulnerable when he was the cause of her pain. With Bianca though, it felt good to have her best friend back. She knew how it felt to have her heart broken by a Braxton, it was a special kind of heartbreak that is incomparable to anything else out there. There were of course the pain and sadness that comes from any heartbreak really but there were also a touch of betrayal and failure. You put so much on the line, everything you have, prepared to give up so many things to accommodate your relationship to their closed off hearts in hope that it will bring you one step closer. And when you don't it makes you wonder if any of it was real.

"You know I went to Angelo's and then he came around last night."
"He came here? Last night?"
"Yeah, I was a mess and he stopped me from going to work, force feeding me muffins and trying to get me go to sleep."
"Then what?" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she relished in the soothing feelings that Bianca's fingers that were running through her hair left.

"And then he broke me. We fought like always, about me not letting him in and he, always being one step ahead and then… then he kissed me. We ended up in my bed and when we woke up this morning and he had his arms around me, kissing my shoulder blade like he always do, I just wanted to be selfish and have him keeping doing that. I know that it's wrong and that he is with Ricky but for the first time in two years I felt safe, I was stripped of my happiness two years ago and I just wanted to hold on to what was supposed to be mine. God, it was not supposed to be this way!"

She expected Bianca to scowl at her or berated her for what she had done considering she was friends with Ricky but she didn't', she just kissed the top of her head and kept running her fingers through her hair.
"So why aren't he here still?"

"Ricky called just after me stupidly begging him to spend the day with me and I asked him to leave. It was like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my head and slapped me in the face time. How could I have ever been so stupid to think that we were actually going to work out and that we were going to have our happy ending?" She blew out a shaky breath trying to calm herself down but tears were already running freely down her cheeks. "It's not fair Bianca! Everything was just calming down and coming together, I was no longer going to be a cop and he was not a Riverboy anymore… We were finally able to just be and then… everything was just gone!"

"Oh Charlie!" Bianca's arms wrapped tighter and this time she hugged back, with everything she had. She had truly missed having Bianca around to talk to, it was just so easy.
"I've missed you so much Bianca! You have no idea how many times I have picked up the phone wanting to call you. I'm sorry for how everything turned out, I never meant for you to get involved in my mess I just had to protect Brax."
"It's okay Charlie, it's all forgotten! I was overreacting like always and come on, look where it all got us! When we found out that you were dead I could not forgive myself for what I had done, how I just had pushed you away like you were nothing. And then I find out that you had arranged an engagement party for me, despite everything I had said and that you would have lived in the city by then. You were still my best friend and I can't be more grateful that you're back in our lives again!"

They were now both crying and they stayed in their embrace, crying and laughing until they had no more tears left. Then they moved on to talking. Bianca filled her in on her dramatic love life and how after a lot of ups and downs she and Heath finally ended up together. She got to hear how Kyle came to town and who he was, more details on the Denny and Casey love-saga and she couldn't help but feel a little sappy about it, it was truly a fairytale. They kept going at it until they were interrupted by the phone and what was said on the other end of the line made her heart skip a beat and drop down to her stomach.