A/N: Originally, I was going to upload the trip from Seattle to Boston in one, chapter. Since I haven't updated this in a LONG time (I am VERY sorry for that), I decided to upload it in at least two parts. Once again, I apologize to my readers for not updating this. I've been super busy with multiple tests/quizzes every week, projects, aftet school work, etc. I can say with certainty that I WILL finish this story. I'll keep uploading in smaller (but still longer than 1,000 words) parts if I have to, so you all have something new to read. Still looking for ways to write the characters better. Happy chapter 25!
"Do I have to wear a fire retardant suit for the whole trip?" Spencer whined.
"Yes, yes you do," Freddie told him. "This RV is Sam's baby, and she'll probably throw you into a meatgrinder if you burn the RV down."
"How am I supposed to shower?" He asked.
"We'll stop somewhere outside of town for you to shower at."
"But I-"
"-Or, we could make you shower at one of those self serve car washes," Freddie said.
"Fine," Spencer huffed.
"We're getting cupcakes later," Carly said tiredly as Gibby carried her.
"Is Gibby still not allowed to drive?" Spencer questioned.
"I might let him drive for a little while Sam's asleep," Freddie shrugged as he carried his wife. "As long as he doesn't take us to Bed and Bath Works..."
"Your wife's rancid cat is scratching my arm!" Marissa said in disgust.
Freddie and Gibby deposited their significant others onto the large bed in the rear, with Sam not waking up as of yet.
"Last minute check," Marissa said as she walked around the vintage vehicle. "Let me check the lights, Freddie."
As anxious as Freddie was to get on the road, he let his mother look at the RV's lights anyway. They hadn't checked them before. He also had Spencer go through the yellow motorhome's service history since new, in return for helping him on a nosebleed sculpture.
"Why did you need to make a sculpture of a nosebleed, anyway?" He asked while his mother fiddled with the various controls up front.
"A hot nurse wanted it for her office," Spencer said sheepishly. He could feel Charlotte's glare.
"-But I had someone else deliver it to her," He insisted. "I started it before we started dating."
"I'll take your word for it," Charlotte told him, with annoyance in her voice.
"Freddie, you're sure you want to drive first? I could do the first few hundred miles," His mother offered.
"I'll drive first, mom."
"Okay," She said, with a worried expression on her face.
Their goal was to reach Bismarck, North Dakota by the end of the day, which was why they were starting so early. As part of Sam's desire to get through the "lame states", they were driving a full seventeen and a half hours. After programming the windshield mounted GPS, the RV left the Bushwell parking lot.
Spencer and Charlotte were in the back having an early morning fire suit intimate moment, and Gibby claimed that it was the best time of the day for it. He laid in another bed with Carly in his arms.
Marissa sat in the passenger seat next to her son, Sam slept in yet another bed, and Frothy was curled up on a dinette table.
"Watch out for pedestrians," Marissa reminded. "I'm driving when traffic gets heavier."
"Mom, you should get some sleep," Freddie advised. "You've got bags under your eyes."
"Who said something about bags under their eyes?" Carly randomly piped in.
"Nothing," Freddie said. "Seriously mom, get some rest. I'll be fine."
"But Freddie-"
"I'll be fine," He said sternly. "We've got plenty of beds. Go lay down on one."
"Who knows who was sleeping on there before?" She shuddered. "I need to use my sheet and mattress disinfectant on every one."
"The bedding was replaced right before we bought the RV," Freddie said calmly. "Go."
Defeated, Marissa Benson walked to a sofa bed and laid in it. Now, Freddie could concentrate on completing his first driving stint.
The minimum amount of traffic allowed him to drive in the fast lane, and he reached eighty miles per hour on the interstate. He wasn't sure how the early morning commute would effect them, but he drove on and out of Washington.
Sam was right. It didn't seem like there was much to do in Montana. Freddie stayed behind the wheel through the morning commute, and Marissa took over for early morning traffic. By 11:45 AM, the gang reached Missoula, Montana. It was time for Gibby to get his corn field viewing wish. Sam still wasn't up yet, so they left her in the RV. Freddie figured that she wouldn't care if she missed the activity.
"I remember getting chased by a really scrawny dude with a gun in a cornfield," Gibby told everyone.
"That's real great, Gib," Carly said, giving Freddie a look.
"Are you gonna need a lot of time?" Freddie asked as they stepped into the sun.
"Not too much, my friend. I'll be back in an hour and a half at the most."
Freddie inwardly groaned.
"Aren't you going with him, Carly?" Spencer questioned. "He is your boyfriend."
"Well-"
"Yeah, Carls, you totally should come!" Gibby agreed, pulling her into the field with him. Carly shot her brother a dirty look before being dragged into what looked like hundreds of acres of corn. "Don't leave us!" She called back.
"Who wants some organic-"
"We don't want your gross organic chiz!" Sam suddenly interrupted. "You just interrupted my dream about owning my own ham factory!"
"Good morning to you too," Freddie said, giving her a quick kiss.
"It's just that we're in the middle of nowhere, thanks to that nubby potato," Sam said. "What the heck is he doing, anyway?"
"Probably rubbing his back against corn stalks..." Freddie grimaced.
"Hey, are they on private property?" Charlotte questioned.
"I didn't see a sign," Freddie shrugged.
"Guys! There's some dude pointing a shotgun at Carly and Gibby!" Spencer shouted, running into the RV.
"What!?" Sam asked.
"We-we've gotta save them!" Freddie said, leaving the RV and following Spencer, before Marissa could even object.
"HEY! Get away from my sister!" Spencer shouted through a megaphone.
"Where'd he get that?" Freddie asked his wife.
"Junkyard," Sam said simply. "Wendy and I stole it from him to yell at weird people."
"Maybe I should be glad Wendy isn't with us," Freddie said.
"We wouldn't have done too much illegal stuff," Sam panted. "Great, that stubrag is forcing them into his barn."
"He barricaded the doors," Charlotte informed. "I saw it through the window."
"Is there a way to get on the roof?" Sam asked.
"Hey, there's a ladder on the back wall." Spencer said. "Maybe he forgot about it or something."
The gang crouched low, but swiftly moved so that they were facing the rear wall of the barn.
"Who's climbing up?" Charlotte questioned.
"I'll go," Sam volunteered. Freddie threw Sam an incredulous look.
"Sam, are you crazy? That guy might shoot you! There is no way you're doing this!"
"Do you want Carly and Gibby to get shot?" Sam challenged.
"Maybe we could work something out with him," Freddie proposed. "Or we could just call the cops."
"He'll probably kill them as soon as he knows that we called the cops," Sam said. "I won't get arrested or anything, as long as we get out of here, and fast. It's a risk I'll have to take."
"You're sure?" He asked.
"Yeah. I'll be fine, baby," Sam assured, giving her husband a quick kiss on the lips. She then began to climb up to the barn's roof.
She made sure to make as little noise as possible, and she was standing on the roof soon enough.
There were numerous holes, so many that Sam had to be careful to avoid being spotted.
Cautiously, she inched her way over to each hole and investigated the space she'd be dropping into.
"That's gotta be at least a hundred feet," Sam muttered to herself.
Sam edged toward a larger hole, and noticed a round bale of hay sitting on the floor near where she'd be dropping. She could drop directly behind the hay, and use it for cover. There was a dirt floor, so her feet wouldn't make a lot of noise upon landing. Carly, Gibby, and the shotgun man were at the other side of the building.
Taking a quick look back at her husband and friends, she took a deep breath.
"Well, here I go," She said to no one.
Sam dropped down into the dilapidated barn, landing behind the bale of hay as planned.
There were numerous crates, other bales of hay, produce lying about, and other miscellaneous objects inside.
Darting from cover point to cover point, Sam made her way across the building until she was almost directly behind the perpetrator.
She slowly rose, butter sock in hand. One smack to the head sent the shotgun to the ground. Gibby breathed a sigh of relief, and Carly launched herself into Sam's arms.
"Sam! I-I thought we were done for! I was wondering w-why he didn't shoot us sooner!" Carly said, crying. "Th-thanks for saving us."
"It must've taken some real guts to knock that guy out," Gibby said.
"If only he had knocked you out faster," Sam told him. "Let's book it, there might be some other stubrags in a house or someplace. He has to live somewhere."
"Good thinking," Carly nodded. Carly and Gibby walked hand in hand out of the barn and around to the others with Sam.
Freddie pulled Sam into a hug the moment he saw her.
"I'm glad you made it out of there," Freddie said.
"I had a feeling I would," She told him.
"I was afraid you were gonna fall off the roof!" He said.
"I just had to be a little careful," Sam said simply. The group began making their way back to the RV.
"We are definitely not 'viewing' cornfields ever again!" Carly told her boyfriend.
"But the corn was so majestic," Gibby said dreamily.
"Vegetables cannot be majestic!" Sam shouted at him. "Up, up, up! We don't have all day here!"
Sam quickly drove back onto the interstate, ignoring Mrs. Benson's lecturing about the dangers of speeding. The iCarly gang was quickly out of Montana.
By nightfall, Sam had driven the group all the way to a campsite in their goal destination of Bismarck.
"Are you sure we couldn't just stop at a hotel?" Marissa asked.
"Yeah, and we have a huge RV for nothing," Sam said.
"But we wouldn't be exposed to the dangers of being out in the open! Some burglar could try to break in and kidnap Freddie, or maybe someone might sabotage the RV! Or-"
"Mom, Sam and I have done this many times before. I think we'll be alright. I made sure to choose good campsites," Freddie told her.
"How did Spencer convince Carly my mom to search for bigfoot again?" Gibby questioned.
"I don't know," Sam answered, distracted. "Why the heck aren't you out there with them? Go!"
"But I'll-"
"GO!"
With that, Gibby ran out of the RV in search Carly, Spencer, and his mother. Sam gave Freddie a knowing look before walking over to Marissa.
"Hey! Sam, what are you-"
Marissa slumped to the floor as Sam found a pressure point.
"Sam!"
"She'll wake up in a few hours," Sam said dismissively. She wrapped her arms around his neck and looked up at him.
Freddie took the hint and leaned down to kiss her, placing his hands on the small of her back.
He rubbed the tip of his tongue against her bottom lip, and Sam almost hungrily granted him entrance to her mouth.
Freddie led his wife toward the large rear bed, counting on his sense of feel. He sat Sam on the bed, and draped the sheets over them.
"Was that a possum in the road? Did I kill it?" Carly asked as the iCarly gang walked into the 2nd largest mall in the US, and the largest in Minneapolis.
"Nah, that was a fox. It was roadkill already," Sam assured.
"Oh my God," Carly said, surveying the massive mall. "It even has its own aquarium!"
"And its own Galaxy Wars wing!" Freddie exclaimed, staring at the various Galaxy Wars novelties in the distance and high fiving Spencer.
"I have got to go look at the parenting section," Marissa said exictedly. "Look at all those brands of disinfecting wipes and antibacterial underwear! I even see some of my fellow aggressive parents over there!"
"You have fun with that," Sam said.
"I want to look at everything!" Carly practically shrieked in excitement. "Let's get a move on!"
They all dispersed. Sam with Freddie, Spencer with Charlotte and Marissa, and Carly with Gibby.
Freddie left the Galaxy Wars wing a few hours later, with Spencer going off in search of Marissa and Charlotte. The girls left Freddie and Spencer to explore the Galaxy Wars wing by themselves
It would've been nice to have her there, Freddie thought as he walked on the wide tile pathway.
There's no telling where she could be. I should've insisted on her staying.
Hopefully she didn't-
His thoughts were interrupted by a bored sounding woman's voice on the PA system.
"If there is a Fredward Benson in the building, we have your wife detained in the southwest wing, otherwise known as the spinach cooking wing. I repeat, we have a Fredward Benson's wife detained by security in the southwest wing."
"I should've known," Freddie said angrily to himself. He turned southward, taking his time.
Freddie entered the small, yet upscale security office, immediately matching the PA woman to one he saw blowing a bubble from gum.
"Yeah? Ya ruined my bubble here, so out with it!"
"I'm Fredward Benson," he said, with a slight pant from his trek.
"Ya wife's in the back," she told him. "Skinner, bring that blondie girl out to the lobby."
"Yes ma'am," The young looking African American man said.
Moments later, a handcuffed Sam Benson was led out by Skinner.
"Two hunned and ninney five dollah fee," The sweaty woman said.
"What exactly did she do?" Freddie asked, with a heaviness in his voice.
"She beat up the manager of one of the mall's Fresno Girl stores," Skinner informed.
"Why, Sam?" Freddie asked her, crossing his arms.
"They were making fun of a girl and her mom who didn't have the cash to pay for everything they ordered," Sam mumbled. "And, I told the manager that it wasn't right."
Freddie gazed at his wife for a second.
She wouldn't lie to me about something like this, he thought.
"I believe you," Freddie finally said, handing the sweaty woman the money.
"You're free to go," Skinner said as he unlocked Sam's handcuffs. "This won't go on your record, but I'd give your wife some advice."
"Yeah, thanks," Freddie nodded as he led Sam out of the office.
They walked a short distance from the security office, and sat down on a bench.
"I'm not nearly as mad as I was last time," Freddie told her. He heard her breathe a sigh of relief.
"However, I want this to be the last time it happens," He said firmly. "You can't be getting arrested anymore if we're going to raise a family together."
Sam nodded.
"I think we should go get everybody together and leave," Freddie suggested. "It can't be far from closing time."
"L-listen, I-I'll try not to get in trouble with the cops again," Sam said softly. "I'm-I'm glad you're thinking about our future."
"I think about it every day," He said, rubbing Sam's back.
"I do too," She replied.
They shared a quick kiss and walked off to get everyone together again.
-Madison, WI-
"Why do I get a feeling that you tricked me into buying this?" Freddie asked as he lugged a mini fridge into the motorhome.
"Because I did," Sam shrugged.
"You know what, one of these days I'm gonna trick you into doing something!" Freddie told her.
"Yeah, keep thinkin' that," Sam said.
"Mark my words!" Freddie said.
"Just come help me put all this cheese in this thing," Sam said.
"This is your cheese?" Gibby asked, taking a bite of a Gorganzola cheese slice.
"Yes, this is your cheese, and this is my-"
"-Is that Gorganzola?" Freddie asked, hoping it wasn't.
"Yeah, why?"
"Dude, that chiz stinks! No wonder we've been smelling that weird smell for the past few minutes!" Sam realized. She snatched the cheese wedge from Gibby and tossed it onto the floor.
"Maybe this lard will fix it!" Gibby exclaimed. He attempted to hold up a large bucket of lard, but fell over, causing the bucket to open when it hit the floor.
"Where the heck did you get lard?" Freddie asked, trying to restrain an angry Sam.
"A...lard store," Gibby explained. "So much lard..."
-Chicago, IL-
"Man, I am stuffed," Sam remarked, rubbing her stomach.
"You did eat fifteen Chicago dogs," Freddie told her.
"Beats whatever organic concoction your mother was gonna make me eat," Sam said.
Each couple of the iCarly gang had gone to a separate restaurant, with Marissa and Charlotte together.
Sam and Freddie came up to a hastily set up sign on the sidewalk, which read 'Marissa's organic culinary party', with an arrow pointing to the left.
In the windows of the building directly across the street, a group of chefs dancing and clapping to a beat could be seen, and there seemed to be people dancing inside.
Sam shoved her way through, with Freddie following.
Marissa was dancing behind the counter among other workers while serving theccustomers, who were senior citizens awkwardly dancing to the beat.
"Looks real appetizing," Sam muttered.
Freddie silently motioned to his mother that they had to get going.
"Well everyone, it looks like we're gonna have to conclude the party," Marissa told everyone through a microphone. There were several "aw's" from high number of elderly people in the venue.
"But first, say hello to my son, my Freddiebear!" Marissa cheered, motioning toward him. Claps were heard.
Freddie awkwardly waved toward no one in particular.
"The girl next to him is his...significant other," Marissa sighed. Freddie shot her a look, reminding her of the talk they had previously.
"But my son is happy, and that's all that matters," She added. Freddie shot her a satisfied smile, while others clapped and whistled.
As soon as the room had quieted, the doors flew open and in came two women, dressed in orange prison jumpsuits. Everyone froze, staring at them.
"Give us all yer food and money," One woman said, pointing a pistol straight at another worker behind the counter. "Or I'll shoot."
Freddie hadn't even noticed Sam disappear from his side, and he tried to hide the frantic features etched across his face. To his right, he could see Sam crouched behind a shelf, butter sock in hand. Freddie transfered his now even more frantic face to his wife, wondering what she was planning on doing.
"I ain't dealin' with this chiz again," Sam shouted, springing from her hiding spot, and swinging her butter sock straight into the back of the gunwoman's head. The other woman froze, realizing she was alone.
The lady made a break for the exit the moment Sam advanced on her, but a heavy set (though still elderly) man blocked the doors.
Before anyone could do anything, Sam and Freddie's RV screeched to a stop in front of the building. They could see Spencer waving.
"Let's go!" Sam shouted, grabbing Freddie's hand and pulling him toward the entrance, with Marissa stumbling behind. Sam, Freddie, and Marissa quickly boarded the RV and Spencer tore off and out of Chicago.