A/N: Ah, gosh, this update is so long overdue. ;; I'm sorry! If you guys are still reading this, I really appreciate it... I'd sort of lost my... inspiration to continue, but I think I'll get into this again! SOBS GROSSLY

Please review and give me suggestions for future chapters! ^^

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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L is for Loser

n 1.) a person or thing that loses or has lost something, especially a game or contest

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Love was for losers.

It was meaningless and pointless. Affection was annoying. Feelings were fleeting.

He had sworn to himself that he'd never fall in love.

And after all, how could he? With all the idiots on the planet, it was near impossible. He made sure to keep his distance and put up airs, remind himself that there was nothing more important in his life than himself.

To Hyōdō Aoi, love was a pretty stupid thing.

And there were no exceptions.

"But we kissed!"

"Ah, listen, I'd help you out, but I—"

"Twice!"

Takumi sighed, the smirk slipping from his lips at the semi-amused look Misaki was giving him, her arms crossed over her chest and amber eyes narrowed. He wanted to laugh and tease her for looking so cute, only to remember the screechy boyish voice on the other end of the phone.

Right.

The blonde tried not to let his impatience show. "That was the revenge I was talking about, huh? Face it, Aoi, she likes you."

"Usui—"

"She likes you. Isn't that enough?"

There was silence and Takumi chuckled.

"You can deny what you're feeling all you want, lover boy," he continued and glanced towards Misaki as he said the words, watching her own face turn a delicious shade of red. Tsundere power, duh—he dodged the punch she threw at him, nearly laughing out loud at her glare of death. "She'll understand. You're lucky that she will."

A groan. Takumi could sense the exasperation slipping out in the younger boy's voice.

"I don't get it…"

Misaki raised a brow at Aoi's words, able to hear them in the receiver of the phone from her position beside her boyfriend. She rolled her eyes, pressing a palm to her forehead. "And you think Suzuna does? You guys are such dorks…"

"Well said, Ayuzawa-san," Takumi teased and she jabbed him in the side. Aoi, on the other hand, seemed to be just realizing something.

"Eh? You're with Misaki-chi right now?"

The surprise was evident in his tone.

Takumi could only smile. Finally. "Wow, look at the time—gotta go, Aoi-chan~!" He flipped his phone shut without another thought, tossing it somewhere aside on his bed before grasping the shoulders of said demon woman and pulling her towards him. Misaki's fury was stalled with a kiss, much to her chagrin, and she'd begun to forget why she had been irritated…

Oh, well.

Aoi growled, dropping his phone in his lap. He held his head in his hands.

That stupid perverted alien and his old hag of a girlfriend…

…were right.

And it scared the crap out of him.

He did not like her.

Nope.

That drawling [smooth] voice.

Those vacant [honest] tea-colored eyes.

That impassive [charming] mouth.

That boring [silky] dark hair.

That unfeminine [petite] body.

Just—

Everything.

He hated it

Her.

Gah.

He liked it.

Her?

He liked a lot of things. Dresses and ribbons, playing games on his PC at night, colorful duct tape, eating ramen that he'd microwaved after a day or two—

But no.

He did not like Ayuzawa Suzuna.

"Agh… that sounds weird…"

He scratched out the words and started a new line. This was tiresome; it took several rough scrapings of the pencil lead for Aoi to finally realize he had ruined the dress design on the same paper, cursing under his breath and crumpling the entire thing within his palms. He had half a mind to return to adding buttons to one of his older projects, but something was stopping him.

From doing anything.

Because this wasn't a matter of 'like'.

It was love.

And, hell, he'd already begun to feel like a loser, too.

"Aoi-chan, is everything alright?"

"Ah? Yeah."

"Hmm… You haven't been inviting Suza-chan over very much, ne? Has she stopped modeling for you?"

The boy looked over to his aunt, noting the motherly concern in her turquoise eyes. A frown marred his features and he shrugged. "Who knows?" Pretending to work on his homework, Aoi punched in a few numbers in his calculator. However, he could tell from the way Satsuki shuffled over to him that she already knew something was up.

"You know, you can tell me anything." She moved to lean at his desk, a smile tilting her lips. "I've never judged you."

He huffed, loudly, continuing to ignore her. Satsuki took this as an opportunity to glance over his shoulder, past the math worksheet he was supposedly finishing. Her eyes landed on a small slip of paper, lavender in color, and a laugh escaped her at the curly red lettering that peeked from the side.

Aoi flushed heavily. Cursing, he moved to cover the paper but his aunt had clearly seen it and she was backing away before he could swat at her.

"Satsuki-san!"

"So moe…" She pressed her hands to her cheeks, touched by her nephew's attempt at wooing the female species. "Are you going to give it to her?"

"Agh! Get out!"

"Sorry, sorry…" Satsuki found herself already being half-shoved out of his room, but the grin never faded from her features. "But, I think you should tell her in pers—"

He slammed the door.

This was his chance.

Sure, it was lame and awkward, but at the moment, an indirect confession was Hyōdō Aoi's best bet. He folded up the note, cobalt eyes darting from the clock back to the dark pigtails a few seats ahead. …They hadn't talked in a while. He wondered if doing something like this would even work, but quickly pushed the thoughts away, not wanting to lose the small burst of confidence he had mustered up for today.

Ugh.

He let out a slow breath, fingers brushing along the edges of the paper.

As the teacher turned to explain some theorem, he immediately flicked his wrist to send it—only for his aim to miss under the pressure, hitting the back of a boy who sat just a seat away from his target.

His features immediately fell.

A string of curses ran through his mind as Aoi ducked his head behind a folder, trying not to make eye contact with a now surely confused dude who probably thought he... swung that way.

He apologized to Satsuki-san in his heart.

"Hey… Suzuna, can I talk to you?"

"You're already talking."

He sighed, growing more irritated than flustered. "That's not what I mean. Um, alone?"

The way she blinked at his request told Aoi that she already figured this was 'alone' enough. His brow twitched and he held back the insult on his lips, allowing his gaze to dart back for a moment before looking at her again.

"Come with me," he mumbled and nodded at her, standing to turn on his heels and head out of the classroom door. Suzuna wanted to protest—lunch break was almost over and she still hadn't finished her noodles, but at the same time, she was curious as to what could have possibly been on Aoi's mind that they had to talk 'alone'. And so she trailed on after him with obedience, her steps light and unhurried in contrast to his heavier ones.

A silence filled the space between them. There was the scuffle of their shoes against the floor and rhythmic breathing; steady on Suzuna's end, erratic on Aoi's.

"Here."

"Mm?"

Tea-colored eyes shifted upwards to catch nervous cobalt. Aoi gestured to the end of the hallway, a quiet and empty area. She blinked once—twice—but the nod of her head told him that she wasn't planning on badgering him with questions. And so she stepped along just a bit further, pausing as she reached the last locker to face him.

"So, uh..." He was already faltering. With a click of his tongue, the boy pushed the fringe from his eyes and started again. Clearing his throat, "Listen. I want to tell you something, okay? D-Don't say anything until I'm finished, and... and, um, also, don't..."

She waited patiently. As she always did.

"J-Just don't give my any weird looks or whatever. Got it? This is really hard..."

"Aoi-kun—"

"No, not yet." The tell-tale flush of crimson had already crawled up to his cheeks and his breath was painfully short. He appeared to be struggling to the point that Suzuna was actually more concerned than amused. "Like I said. Just listen."

Another nod.

His breath came out in a 'whoosh'. "Alright. So."

Suzuna forced herself to pay attention to his face and his eyes, not the hands that were wringing the hem of his shirt or the feet that didn't seem to stop tapping.

"We've known each other for a while, now... And don't get me wrong, you're still a really weird girl and I have no idea why I even talk to you." Shit, that sounded terrible. He needed to try harder. "But, u-uh, that doesn't mean that I hate you or anything... I mean, I know I say it a lot, but... I-I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't dislike being around you."

What an anticlimactic way of putting it. Even so. Suzuna held her breath and she would have been lying if she said the flutter in her stomach didn't exist.

"When we kissed. Uhm, when you kissed me. Well, before that, too. Ugh," he rubbed his nose, brow knitted with frustration, "It was... kinda nice. Your lips were soft—well, they weren't as chapped as I imagined—not that I imagine weird things like that!"

A discreet anxiety flickered along Suzuna's features and she sucked in a quiet breath to relax. A confession. She wasn't stupid.

"I wouldn't mind... doing it again. You know. Because, well, I don't hate you, so." His voice was cracking in all the wrong places and he'd never felt more awkward about anything in his life. "I, uh, no, I l-like you. Suzuna."

I like you, Suzuna.

I like you.

Simple as that. Nothing romantic, or well-thought-out. Brash, impulsive.

Pure.

Her façade dropped.

Suzuna didn't respond.

His dread was building up. Still. Still. No answer. She didn't like him. He was wrong.

She didn't like him.

Aoi turned and ran without another thought, shoes slapping against the hallway floor. He hadn't even heard her calling his name just moments later, the only sound audible to his ears was the intense pounding of his heart.

Damn it all!

I'm such an idiot...

It didn't matter that he'd just ran out of the building—onto school grounds—who knows where—

He had to get away as soon as possible. Save whatever little dignity he'd managed to steal back. Aoi didn't care if he was overreacting or about the tears that had suddenly pricked his eyes, nor the way his clothes and hair were definitely ruffled from his haste or the gazes that had briefly followed him on his way out. He didn't care. He didn't care about anything.

The boy raised his sleeve to wipe his eyes, sniffling and sinking down to the ground against the back of the school wall. He'd hate himself later for getting dirt on his trousers and jacket. He curled up childishly, knees drawn to his chest and refusing to look up even as that voice suddenly entered his ears.

"...Aoi-kun?" Gasping, light. Tired.

Suzuna leaned a palm against the wall, sinking down to her knees in front of Aoi.

"Did you..." There came a mumbling she didn't understand.

"What?"

"Did you come here to laugh at me? Go ahead." Harsh and raspy, thick with tears. Suzuna's eyes widened and she nearly couldn't bring herself to speak like before.

"Aoi-kun, what are you—"

"I get it, okay?" Blazing cobalt orbs were suddenly directed up at her. His lips were pulled into a scowl and the familiar furrow between his eyebrows seemed more hurt than angry. "You don't need to say it! I-I was stupid to think that maybe, you also... Just leave me al—"

"Aoi-kun! Shut up for a second," Suzuna told him with a frown, the tight words foreign to his ears. "Ah, you talk so much."

"Eh?"

Her arms had hooked around his shoulders and Aoi blinked as he was tugged forward; the sensation of Suzuna's cheek pressed up against his neck, her lashes brushing his skin and breath heavy, warm. She was suddenly between his knees, hugging him, and he could feel her small frame trembling slightly. Her pants too shallow to form any coherent words for the moment; a strange thing to witness from someone who was always so composed.

Whether this was from the exertion of chasing after him or the fear of losing him, he didn't know. And he wouldn't ask. He buried his face into dark, orange-scented hair, his own arms hesitantly slipping up to wrap around her. He was incredibly selfish and he knew it. He couldn't bring himself to apologize right now, not with this mingling of emotions in his chest preventing him.

That was it.

Those emotions... this sadness, and this happiness. This painful euphoria. Love was for losers, he always said.

And that wouldn't change.

But of course, he and Ayuzawa Suzuna were the only exception.