[Disclaimer] Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I just like to mess around with her characters and turn them into lesbians.
[A/N] Today's update is dedicated to my reader Jelleykakes. SwanQueen is a great femslash pairing. My girlfriend wants me to write a story with them.
6
At night in my room was the worst. With no light and no other people around me, all I could do was focus on the thoughts in my head. The monster was playing hide and seek with me. I wondered when it was finally going to get tired of the game. In front of my eyes, the pictures flashed. Merciless they kept torturing me. I could see myself being choked. I could feel something sharp cutting through the skin on my wrist. I could hear the slurping and sucking. Then I saw the eyes. Red eyes that glow in the dark, bright red like my blood that the monster was feeding on. Maybe it was also nourished by my fears.
I screamed unable to bring my pillow to my mouth to stiffen the sound a bit. I was so scared. The monster was coming for me. I knew it was.
My stomach felt rock hard. I was shaking from head to toe, unable to stop it. Inside my chest, my lungs tightened as if some heavy weight was pressed upon them. I panted. My attempts to inhale deeper only resulting in making me feel dizzier.
"Alice, child, please wake up." Mother's hand was cool against my shoulder. I tried to force myself to calm down again for her sake. There wasn't anything she could do to ease my fears. The monster was real. It didn't just exist in my head. Sometimes it was closer to me than my own shadow.
"It's coming." I sobbed. "It's coming to drink my blood and kill me." I covered my face in my hands and cried. I cried for the fear that I couldn't overcome. For my life that would soon be over before it had really begun.
"Alice, calm yourself, please, before you wake up your father." Mother continued shaking my shoulders. "Nothing is going to happen. This is not real! The things you think you see. They are not real."
The door to my room was pulled open again. The sudden light above me blinded my eyes. Father pulled mother away from the bed. Then he kneeled down and grabbed me by the neck to hold my head still. "Open your mouth, Mary Alice." He pressed his thumb under my mouth and his forefinger into my cheek to force my lips apart. The pill that was placed on my tongue was bitter. "Swallow." He demanded, lifting a glass with water to my mouth. "You'll feel better soon. I promise."
My father wasn't as easy to trick as Julianna was. He stayed next to me, insisting for me to stick out my tongue after a few moments to prove the medicine was gone. I could feel the dizzying effect. Nevertheless, whatever pills the doctors prescribed to handle my condition; they were treating my body, not my mind. They made me unable to scream when I was yelling inside my head. The visions couldn't be stopped. They couldn't be stopped and they were real. Why couldn't anybody see that they were real? I leaned my head back against my pillow.
"Good girl," Father whispered as I closed my heavy eyelids. I stretched my legs and yawned. I blinked when he tiptoed out of the room. Through the open door I could hear mother and him arguing. "We need to send her away. She's a danger to herself. Dr. Smith thinks the same."
I could hear mother crying. I could hear her cries being suffocated by father hugging her against his chest. That was the last thing I saw when I managed to lift my head again. The medication made my entire body numb and heavy. With a sigh, I plopped back onto the mattress and drifted into a restless sleep.
My dreams were very similar to the visions that agonized me. They were filled with fast flashing pictures of blood and fear. In some of the dreams, I could hear scissors near my head. When I looked down, the shoulder length curls I took so much pride in were lying beneath my feet. Was the monster going to cut off my hair to humiliate me?
A breaking noise woke me up. I was drenched in sweat. The sheets under me felt moist against my fingertips when I shifted. Thirst made my mouth feel dry. I always tend to get very thirsty from the pills. I reached my hand towards the nightstand. There had to be a glass of water. Julianna always put one here for me. Instead of cold glass though, I pricked my fingertip on thorns. My forefinger throbbed.
"Ouch." I hissed, trying to keep my voice low. I switched on the light and blew over my finger. The wound was tiny, almost invisible. I was glad that least I hadn't broken the skin. Seeing my blood could trigger some of the worst visions in my head. One of them had the monster grabbing my wrist and biting off my finger. My stomach muscles cramped at the disgusting thought. I tasted acid in my mouth. Quickly, I reached for the water. I drank greedily, taking big gulps from the glass. I felt like my throat was set on fire. When the thirst was finally better, I put down the glass and breathed heavily.
Then, I noticed what had pricked my finger just moments ago. The rose was perfect. Its petals were cream with a dark pink colored tip. I lifted it to my nose and sighed. No flower on earth would ever smell good enough to me again after meeting Isabella. The thought of her made me smile. I pressed my lips against the blossom. How would that feel like to kiss her mouth instead? The thought was in my head and the vision followed it like shadows follow the sun. It made me feel too hot. I could feel Isabella's lips against mine. They were cold, like her hands had been, but oh so very smooth. They felt so incredibly good against my mouth in my vision.