Author's note: CHAPTER UPDATED
This author's note will be a little bigger than the ones I usually write. As usual I got very nice reviews from all of you about chapter 22, and to know how much you enjoy the story and what I write makes me want to continue writing it. Nevertheless, there was one review that said that the chapter was not clear, lacked the usual depth that my others chapters had, and that it led to many confusing things. Of course, it's impossible not to be upset about such things. This meant that I read the chapter again. While reading it I realized that the person that left me the comment was completely right: The chapter was confusing and there were some very clear grammatical as well as timeline mistakes. I don't have a beta reader (if that is even the name) for this story (I never had enough followers and reviews that required me to do one), so if someone would like to be a beta to this story then please PM me :) Second, english is not my native language, but I will admit that I have been speaking it since I was 4 years old. So, based on all of these things I decided to rewrite chapter 22. I apologize for the ones that read it before, but in my humble opinion, I believe I incorporated and explained things better than in my previous version of the chapter.
Thank you for all your reviews and for keeping up with the story! Again, if you are new to the story, welcome! For the ones that have been reviewing since chapter 1, thank you for your support! :)
After getting some help from Cavanaugh and Korsak, Jane and Maura were able to make their trip to Ireland become 'official' Boston PD business, which meant that they were going as consultants. She wasn't happy about the lie, but knew that it was necessary. Also, their plane was leaving tomorrow night, which meant that they had to go home and pack their stuff, which was something that she dreaded to do. Nevertheless, watching Maura be all excited about the trip and possible sightseeing was adorable and managed to make her smile. Jane decided to drive the two of them first to her apartment; because she knew that Maura was going to take longer to pack than her. Making that argument to Maura, the both of them agreed that it was better to go to Jane's apartment first, grab her things, quickly go to Maura's and the next day, a few hours before their flight left, go to Angela's to say goodbye. Jane argued that it was better to leave the goodbye for last because that way Angela would have no time to find the truth. Still, Jane's real motives for delaying their trip to her childhood home were far simpler than that: she was dreading that moment because she was scared of facing her what she could tell her. Nevertheless, Jane knew that she had to go because the whole point of making the trip official was so that Angela and the Rizzoli's were unaware of its true motives. Although Jane didn't want to admit it, she was still suspecting of her mother's role and what she could know about her true origins. She just found it hard to accept and believe that her mother could be so naive to not realize that Jane didn't belong in the category of 'normal people'. True, she admired her mother and was thankful for what she did, but there was one part of her that didn't allow her to completely forgive the woman. When she demanded answers, Jane had been expecting peace and calm: She expected the truth to set her free. Nevertheless, reality was a bitch, and instead of bringing her closure, the truth had made things more complicated for Jane and her relationship with her family. Without wanting to, Jane closed herself and stopped calling her mother like she used to. Her interactions with her brothers were also hard and most of the time she was making excuses so she wouldn't stay for long. It was hard, and she hated herself for putting her family through this unexpected coldness. But the one thing that you couldn't do to Jane Rizzoli was break her trust. And in a very big way, not mattering if it was willing or unwillingly, her family had just done that.
Maura could see the way Jane was behaving, how she was avoiding her family and any kind of contact with them. The saddest part of all of this is that she understood and in a way supported Jane's reaction. It was completely natural and expected of her to behave this way. Many people said that once the truth is out, things automatically got better. She found out this was false the moment her parents revealed to her that she was adopted. It had been hard to be odd kid among her peers, and to add to it, the smartest one of the class. So, the morning her parents came to her room and told her of her adoption, Maura felt her first disappointment: During many years she tried to be an Isles and do what the Isles did; which meant being classy, sophisticated and very educated. She did all of these things, but when she found science and dissecting frogs be more interesting than going to one of her mother's expositions, she realized that the life her parents had was never going to fit her. Maybe this, along with their constant absence, made Maura decide to look for her biological parents before starting college, which turned out to be a very frustrating journey. Decided, she went back to college and finished her pre-med major, immediately going to Harvard for her doctorate and finally choosing pathology as her M.D. She never looked back since that day, and sadly, never spent more than a few days a year in the same room as her parents. They never seemed to mind and she grew accustomed to their coldness and disappointment.
So yes, Maura understood and supported Jane's decision because she did the exact same thing when she found out the truth about her origins. Did she want for Jane to experience the loneliness and sadness of choosing to not forgive? No, she loved Jane too much, and already knowing how Jane would react, Maura looked up to Jane and saw her staring at Bass.
"Did you ever wish to be a turtle?" Jane asked while looking at Bass. "They have to only worry about eating and sleeping."
"Tortoise. And Bass also walks around the house." Maura said defensively.
"Maur, he is a turtle, which means that walking around the house probably takes him a whole week."
"It is a tortoise." Maura corrected Jane again.
"I hate it when you correct me." Jane said annoyed.
"I hate it when you forget mister pronoun." she laughed at Jane. "But I also hate it when you don't tell me what you are feeling."
Jane smiled softly at Maura. "Is it that obvious?"
"Well, no movement of the outer orbicularis oculi pars lateralis." Maura said seriously. "You are not happy Jane."
Jane exhaled. "I don't know what to do."
"About your mother?" Maura asked quietly.
Jane nodded. "What did you do? When you found out?"
"I already told you." Maura started to say.
"I know what you did." Jane said impatiently.
"Then what do you want to know?"
"Do you regret it?" Jane whispered. "Do you regret leaving your family?"
"Every day." Maura said simply. "And my parents weren't as invested as your mother or brothers." Maura continued sadly.
"I know what I'm supposed to do, and I'm ready to do it." Jane said while staring at Maura deeply. "But I don't know if I will feel like coming back after we get Mephisto. Things will never be the same."
"Things were meant to change as soon as you joined the Special Homicide Unit." Maura said while smiling softly. "And I think you joined the unit because you were a little bored of how your life was going."
Jane smiled softly. "I guess you have that right. But still, I never expected the change to reach my home, my family." she finished sadly.
"This may sound a little selfish, but I'm so happy you decided to join the unit. As I told you before, my life before you was so empty, so ordinary and rutinary that as soon as I finished work I went home and slept. I had no contact with people and although I thought I didn't mind, I now realize that before you I had nothing." Maura admitted while looking to the ceiling. "I love you so much, and I don't want you to make the same mistakes that I did. I was lucky." she added when she saw Jane trying to kiss her. "I was lucky because I found you, but I don't want you to experience what I experienced. I don't want you to feel regret."
Jane smiled sadly, understanding the things that Maura had to go through, all by herself, and still managed to become such a loving and wonderful person.
"I don't want to feel regret but I also don't like this feeling of falseness." Jane admitted. "I can't look at my mother's eyes. I can't because I think she is lying to me every single time we talk. What kind of person suspects that of her own mother?"
Maura took Jane's hand. "The one that just found out that her life wasn't what how she thought it was."
"What am I going to do?" Jane finally cried while letting herself be hugged by Maura.
"You are going to go to your mother's place and tell her about the trip." Maura said while stroking Jane's hair. "And on the trip you will have time to think about your future with your family. You don't have to make that decision today." Maura finished while kissing Jane on her forehead.
"About that." Jane started to say. "How comfortable do you feel about telling my mom about our trip?"
"What do you mean?" Maura asked curiously.
Jane smirked a little, remembering the time she learned that Maura was incapable of lying. "That I had to shoot my leg so you would be able to lie to the shooter."
Maura looked guiltily at her. "You didn't give me enough time to prepare."
Jane just huffed. "So then you won't break into hives when I tell her that we are leaving to Ireland?"
Maura smirked. "I won't if I'm not telling the lie."
"Good." Jane finally said. "I suggest we get a good sleep because tomorrow will be a crazy day." she finished, not even suspecting how right she would be.
I can do this, she thought while stepping on the break. I have to do this, she told herself again for the fifth time. If not me, then who?, she asked herself while staring at the house. I don't want to break her heart, but if I don't then she won't be safe; she continued rambling while turning the car off. For my family...
Jane took a deep breath, quickly turning heading out and going to the passenger side so she could help Maura get out. She hadn't been at her mother's house since she found out she was adopted, and to now come to say goodbye was something really painful to do. Thankfully Maura saw her sadness and insisted on coming with her, because now she wasn't sure of being capable of leaving them all behind. She loved her family and depended too much on them, especially her mother.
"I don't know if I can do this." Jane whispered while looking at the door without knocking. "I don't know if I can say goodbye without knowing if it will really be goodbye."
Maura sadly nodded. "I understand Jane. It's hard to let go."
Jane rang the bell. "But necessary to protect them." she said while the door was immediately opened by Angela.
"Janie!" she heard her mother tell her while quickly going to hug her.
"Angela." Jane said while awkwardly returning the hug.
"So you still refuse to call me mother?" Angela asked heartbroken.
"I'm sorry Angel, mother." Jane said while making way for Maura to get inside the house.
"Maura darling, how have you been?"
"Very well, thank you for asking." Maura said while kissing Angela on the cheek softly.
"Janie hasn't brought you since that dinner." Angela pouted. "We have missed both of you during Rizzoli Sunday."
"Ange, mother." Jane interrupted her mother. "I came to talk to you because we are leaving the country for a while."
Angela looked surprised at the two of them.
"We are going to Ireland." Maura said excitedly.
Jane looked surprised at her lover, not understanding how Maura could be that excited about the trip.
"How come?" Angela asked. "I heard some rumors around the cafe of you leaving, but didn't think of them as more than that."
Jane spoke, hoping that way Maura wouldn't blow their cover. "The police in Ireland asked us for a consult. They have a very similar case like the ones we have had here in Boston, and since the Boston PD has friends in Ireland, we were asked to come and check what they have." Jane said quietly, and in a way truthfully because she wasn't lying.
"And when will you be back?" Angela asked carefully.
"We are not sure yet." Maura said quietly. "But it will be a while."
"Well, I guess that's why they have telephones and computers." Angela said excitedly. "You will send pictures, right? And oh, go to a real Irish bar, you know Irish people and the leprechaun and pot of gold." Angela continued rambling. "...and I wonder if they are small or..."
"Just stop." Jane said exasperated. "We are not going on a city-sight tour, we are going to work on a police investigation. There will be no time for going sightseeing or talking on computers." she screamed the last part.
"Jane..." Maura said carefully.
"No Maura." Jane said while raising her hands. "I'm sick of my mother trying to cover the sun with a finger and hope that things stay all right."
"Janie." Angela started to say.
"No mother. Please, do not try to contact me when we are in Ireland. I want to think about the things I have learned and this sort of 'trip' is a good opportunity to do so. I'm not telling you that I won't come back." Jane added when she saw her mother crying. "But I do need to separate from you and the family for a while."
Maura instantly felt bad for Jane. She could see that Jane had her poker-face on, which meant that she was saying all of those things to her mother because she knew they were the only way that there would be no questions asked: By breaking Angela's heart, Jane was making sure that they wouldn't be chased or looked by Mephisto. It was noble, but sad. This meant that Jane made her decision, and that decision included distancing herself from her loved ones. Before Maura even noticed, Jane was starting to make her way towards the door, leaving a teary eyed Angela behind and screaming for forgiveness. Maura followed Jane quietly, and after nodding her goodbye to Angela, she also left Jane's childhood home and went inside the car. When she did, she saw Jane closing her eyes and grabbing the steering wheel tightly.
"I'm a horrible, horrible human being." Jane said while crying. "Did you hear what I just told the one person that accepted and took care of me when no one else did? Even if I don't trust her, I can still acknowledge what she did for me."
"You are doing this so they are protected." Maura said while making Jane look at her. "All the things that you told your mother, even if you felt they were true, they were said so that she could stay safe."
"But she doesn't know that." Jane screamed. "My mother thinks I hate her when the reality is the complete opposite. Even if I'm incapable of trusting her, I still love my mother and my family very much." she whispered the last part.
Maura stayed silent for a while, thinking what Jane needed from her right now. Words were not soothing her, and reasoning was not going to help either. She had a limited number of options and possibilities that she could follow. After silently deciding, and hoping that she chose the right thing to do, Maura grabbed Jane's face and kissed her fiercely, not caring about the small space or Jane's muffled words. It took a couple of seconds for Jane to respond to the kiss, but soon enough the both of them were frantically tasting each other mouths.
Maura was the first one that separated when she felt out of breath. "Is this ok?" she asked Jane while kissing her tears away. "Please, tell me what you need."
Jane smiled sadly at Maura and kissed her again, but this time softly, lovingly. "I need you."
Maura nodded and kissed her cheeks. "You already have me. You will always have me."
Instead of answering Jane kept on crying while sitting in the car. Her emotions were too overwhelming. It was too hard to think about what she just did. She was heartbroken and Maura realized this too
"No judgment." Maura said while kissing her cheeks. "No judgment at all." she repeated.
"Maur." Jane said quietly.
"Yes Jane?"
"Can we go home for a while?" she whispered sadly.
Maura nodded. "We have to be at the airport in three hours. Since we packed everything before going to your mother's place, I don't think we will have a problem with time. Do you want me to go to your apartment?"
"No. Your place." Jane said while covering her eyes.
Maura nodded, and after changing seats with Jane, Maura started to make her way back to Beacon Hill. She didn't fail to notice that Jane considered her place as her home, and although she felt sad after Jane's talk with her mother, Maura's heart felt warm and fuzzy. She considers my apartment her home, she thought while going through the familiar streets of Boston. Jane considers my place her home, she told herself again, not quite believing it. Does this mean that she wants more? Now it's not the time to think these things, she scolded herself while glancing at Jane, who had stopped crying and was just staring at the road. I promise that once we get out of this I will ask her to marry me, Maura told herself while grabbing the steering wheel tightly. I will marry Jane Rizzoli. I will, she reverently kept on chanting on her mind. Once this is over, I promise I will, Maura finally stated while holding Jane's hand and squeezing it tightly. I will make you happy, she meant to say with her eyes, and after gazing at Jane's eyes she saw the hint of a smile appearing on her lips.
Wait, why is that car in Maura's parkway? Jane thought while immediately taking her gun out and telling Maura do stop the car.
"What is wrong?" Maura asked while turning the lights off and taking her own gun out of her purse.
"Does that car look familiar to you?" she asked while pointing to the black sedan.
"No." she whispered.
Jane opened the passenger door and made her way out of the car, carefully lowering herself so that the door could cover her. She took out her cell phone and texted Korsak.
"Jane, call for backup." Maura whispered while moving around the car to stand next to her.
"Already did Maura. They are 10 minutes away." Jane whispered back. "And I don't plan on letting the perp that is inside your house get away."
"We are not letting him get away." Maura emphasized.
"It could be dangerous." Jane tried again to dissuade Maura.
"You are not going solo. It's either with me or nothing." Maura said firmly. "Besides, you know my aim score is 9 out of 10."
Jane smiled and started to move forward, pointing to Maura where she was supposed to be standing. "That's my girl."
Maura also smiled, but then her grew all serious while pointing her gun ahead and Jane did the same.
"Boston PD, now put your hands in the air or I will fucking shoot you." Jane screamed.
"Language." Maura scolded Jane without thinking. "Sorry, nerves." she added when she saw Jane look surprised at her.
"Don't shoot." they heard a deep voice. "We have the upper hand." it added.
"Jane." Maura said while pointing to her chest where there were 3 red dots.
Jane saw that Maura also had dots on her chest and immediately lowered the gun.
"Who sent you?" Jane spat despite the fear she was feeling. "I'm not afraid of you."
"You are not? Well you should be based on the fact that I have six snipers ready to take aim at both of you."
6 snipers, that's not good news, Jane thought to herself while trying to think of some way to keep them distracted until back-up came. It had been already four minutes since she made the call to dispatch. 6 more minutes of keeping them distracted. The odds weren't in their favor.
"I think it's time you stop pointing your guns at us and let us go." Maura said peacefully.
The man laughed. "Is she serious? Are you deaf, or blind for that matter?"
Maura smiled back. "I'm not. But I'm pretty sure that Paddy Doyle won't be too happy when he finds out that you just killed her daughter and her daughter's lover."
"What are you doing?" Jane whispered desperately to Maura. "We have to keep your identity a secret."
"Trust me." Maura whispered back.
"You two stop talking." The man said loudly, a hint of fear in his voice. "How do we know that you are not messing with us? Paddy never had a child."
"I guess you won't know unless you end up doing something that you may regret in the future." Maura said calmly.
Jane saw that the man was clearly conflicted about his choice, and this made her want to pat Maura in the back and give her all the possible compliments: Maura was stalling and doing a wonderful job at it.
"I think you should just lower the guns and go." Jane said calmly.
The man, to show to his men that he had the power and not the two women, pointed his gun at Maura, which made Jane quickly stand in the way and position herself in the middle of the two of them. Luckily, and Jane doesn't know how, no one shot at her.
"Move." the man said. "Or I will make this bullet go through you and her."
Jane refused. The man angrily loaded the gun. "Move!"
Jane again refused.
"Jane, please move." Maura whispered while the tears were falling.
"Listen to your girlfriend and move!" the man screamed.
Jane again refused. "Sorry Maura, but I won't move." she said bravely. "You will just have to go ahead and shoot me." Jane said to the man.
The man was putting his finger around the gun to shoot when they heard the sound of police sirens blaring the streets. The man instantly flinched and quickly ordered his men to retrieve and move to the cars. He took one last look at the women, but before leaving he turned around and faced them again.
"Looking forward to seeing you in Ireland."
Jane instantly got up and jumped towards the man, making him fall to the ground in an action that surprised both. Maura flinched and stood up too, looking in the dark for the guns that they threw earlier when they were captured. On the other side, Jane was still fighting with the man, trying her hardest to keep him to stay until back-up came.
"Let me go fucking dyke." the man spat at her while kicking her in the guts. "Let me go!"
"No chance asshole." Jane whispered while kicking his head with her punch. "You are not going anywhere because you pointed a gun and threatened to kill my girlfriend right in front of me." Jane said angrily while getting punched again.
What Jane wasn't expecting was the man to incapacitate her by planting a good kick in her groins. Taking the upper hand, the man stood up slowly, not in complete control of her body. When he noticed that Jane was still on the floor he laughed.
"Well, I guess I will get the chance to kill you at least." he said while getting ready to put her foot on Jane's head and squeeze.
"I think you should do just as she told you." Maura said angrily while pointing Jane's gun at him. "The probability of you making it out of this situation alive is of 3%. If I were you I wouldn't take my chances."
The man looked angrily at the two women, but noticing that he had been left alone by his men, he set himself on his knees. Maura lowered her high heel shoe on his back and made him face the ground. "Now don't you even think about moving." she spat angrily.
"He will come to get you." the man continued saying while laughing. "He will kill both of you and rule the world."
Maura squeezed her foot on the man's back, making him scream in pain. "Who sent you?!"
"I thought that by now you would know."
"Was it Paddy?" Maura spat angrily. "Was it Mephisto?" she continued to ask when the man decided to shut up. "Answer me!" she screamed while planting her foot deeper into the man.
"Dr. Isles." she finally heard Korsak's voice from behind. "Are you two alright?" he continued to say while looking at the scene. "You can let him go now Dr. Isles, we got him."
Maura instantly lowered her gun, and took her foot out. She was a little surprised by her roughness with the man, but knowing he almost killed Jane made his pain be rewarding. Jane. "Where is Jane?!" she asked frantically while looking around Korsak. "Where is Jane?!"
"Maur, I'm here." Jane said while slowly making her way towards Maura. Frost had helped her get up from the floor. "Can you tell this guy to leave me alone?!" she pointed at the EMT who was trying to get her cuts clean.
"I'm a doctor, I can take care of her." Maura whispered to the man. He nodded and left the two women alone. "Thank God." Maura said while kissing Jane reverently. "When you jumped at the man I thought you were going to..." she couldn't finish because Jane was kissing her again.
"I'm sorry Maur." Jane said while hugging her deeply. "When he tried to get to you, I knew I had to do something. I know it was stupid but at least we got him. We got a real lead."
"Does this mean we are not going to Ireland anymore?" Maura asked Korsak.
"You are still taking your flight, that is if you are good enough to travel." Korsak asked Maura who nodded. "Frost and I will stay and interrogate your suspect."
"I think he works for Mephisto." Maura continued. "I think Mephisto hired him so he could deliver a message."
"What message?" Jane was afraid of asking.
"He said 'I'll be seeing you in Ireland.'" Maura whispered.
"It. And it won't terrorize us. We have the upper hand because we captured the leader of the gang." Jane was mostly telling herself. "
"About that." they heard Frost say while making his way to the three of them. "I have some bad news." he looked somberly at Jane and Maura. "The man that you captured." he started to say quietly. "He died."
"What do you mean he died?!" Jane screamed angrily at him.
"I mean he died Jane. He died right in front of me."
P.d:
1. So on this version of the chapter I go deeper into the feelings of Jane and Maura, and how they each feel about the other. I also do a better job at following a timeline of two days from where the girls first talk to Korsak and Cavanaugh to the day where they are meant to travel to Ireland and on their way back to Maura's place they are held hostage.
2. Next chapter the girl will be in Ireland! I promise! And don't worry, I will explain what happened to the man and why they were sent to capture the girls.
3. Jane loves Angela very much, but as we have seen on the show, one thing that Jane values very deeply is trust. I wanted the Jane from my story be the same way. Some may argue that it doesn't make sense for Jane to feel all guilty about lying to Angela, specially because Angela did the same. Nevertheless, remember that Jane loves Angela deeply. One can love a person and still not trust the person, which is what is going on with Jane now.
4. Sooo, Maura said that she wants to marry Jane. I know, very big step since they still haven't even moved together. Still, I think that their relationship is already so deep and special that they are allowed to skip some steps (as I said in previous chapters, their connection is deeper than the one of a normal couple).