The girl who had offered her help was…

"You're a Sue!" screeched Rachel.

"Ow!" said Annabeth.

"Kill her!" yelled Bitchy!Piper. "Wait, no," said Nice!Piper. "Hang on, yeah, she's a Sue!" said Bitchy!Piper.

"I know you," spat Annabeth. "You're Clarabelle Isabella Katrina Amazinga Perfecta Lerner Smiley Beaa'tiful!"

In no time, Annabeth's sword and Piper's knife were at…uh…Clarabelle's throat and Rachel's blue plastic hairbrush was ready to bludgeon her. "Say your prayers, sparky," hissed Annabeth. "You'll never harm canon again!"

"Which Sue is she?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, Clarabelle Isabella Katrina Amazinga Perfecta Lerner Smiley Beaa'tiful? She's a daughter of Hecate. She's talented with magic and the Mist, and she's so beautiful that everyone, including Percy and Jason, hits on her. I guess we should feel lucky, though. It could've been her sister xXxLeia Lerner SexayxXx, from one of those M-rated fics."

"Kill her," Rachel said.

"Wait!" begged Clarabelle Isabella Katrina Amazinga…yeah, we're just going to leave it at that. "I was a Sue!"

Rachel, Annabeth, and Piper paused. A Sue admitting that they were a Sue is an amazing thing that you won't see more than once a century.

"But I changed," Clarabelle continued. "I rewrote everything! I changed my name to Leah Lerner. I don't have 'hair the color of the golden sunrise' anymore. I'm just a dirty blonde. Where it says 'eyes like melted chocolate,' I put 'brown.' I have a bad sunburn, and I don't have control over the Mist anymore. I'm just a really average daughter of Hecate. I don't have many friends, but not because I'm tragically misunderstood, but because I'm mean to people and have a superiority complex."

"Fatal flaw?" Annabeth pressed.

"Underestimating others. Not being able to take defeat."

They released her. "So how did you make yourself…not a Sue?" Rachel asked. "Maybe I should make a painting of it. It would be beautiful, that's for sure."

"I don't know. I just…saw the light, you know? My author wanted to write some smut, so I rebelled against her. I mean, I'm like, sixteen! I don't want to…do that."

"Ah," agreed Rachel.

"How can you help us?" asked Nice!Piper.

"You're trying to defeat all of the Sues right?" Leah asked.

"Yeah. Right now, we're trying to kill all of the Nico-lovers."

Leah winced. "Don't tell me your one of…those," accused Rachel.

"Was one of those," Leah clarified. "I mean, it's just…I'm sixteen. And he's what, thirteen? It's just…gross. They deserve to die for that pedophilia. That actually counts as child harassment in some states."

"And how can you help us?" Nice!Piper asked.

"Before the rest of my sisters went—" Leah swallowed—"OOC, we were developing a potion that makes a person immune to going OOC. You could use it, so that around all of the Sues, you wouldn't go OOC. At all."

"Great plan," Nice!Piper said.

"When is Bitchy!Piper going to make another appearance?" Rachel asked.

"That's offensive," scowled Bitchy!Piper.

"There you are," Rachel smiled.

"How do we survive all of the Sues?" Annabeth asked.

"You're asking me?" Leah seemed surprised. "Push them through the plot holes, I guess."

"That's what I said!"

Annabeth became aware of Chiron trotting up to them. "Hey, chicks," he slurred like a stoned hippie.

Annabeth decided to ignore the fact that Chiron was totally OOC. At least he wasn't hitting on her anymore. "What do you need, Chiron?" she asked.

"You're like, going to Goode!" exclaimed Chiron.

This was met with stunned silence. "But…uh…it's summer. And I'm a year-rounder, so is Leah. Piper, I'm not sure what you do during the school year, but I'm pretty sure that it's not Goode. Rachel goes to Clarion Ladies' Academy. Plus, we need to kill Sues."

"Whas Sues?" Chiron questioned. "Hey, Rach, wassap?"

"Um," said Rachel.

The author of this deranged Chiron decided that she hadn't butchered him enough and gave him another line. "Like, whatevs. You're going to Goode to see Percy."

And with that, Chiron trotted off to bother another camper. Annabeth felt a strange pulling sensation and the world began spinning. She closed her eyes to avoid extreme nausea, and when she opened them, she was wearing a stylish outfit outside a building marked Goode High School.

"We did not just transport against all laws of physics!" protested Leah in a squeaky voice. Annabeth noticed that Rachel, Piper, and Leah were wearing ugly clothes and looked slightly worse than usual. It would seem that in high school clichés, Annabeth was made more beautiful than she normally was.

Annabeth goes to Goode! But there she finds out that all of the girls—Yeah, all of them, tee hee!1!—are hungry for a kiss from Percy!1 Will Percabeth survive? Read 2 find out! I promise that it will be different from all of the rest!

"Ah, the summary," said Rachel. "Otherwise known as the most pathological of all liars. It says that it will be different, but it never is."

"That author's a little happy with the exclamation points," Annabeth observed.

"And notice how she uses '2' for 'to' and forgets to keep pressing the Shift key throughout all of her exclamation points, for that nice '!1' effect," Piper observed. "And 'Will Percabeth survive?' Is that even a question?"

"And did that author seriously say 'tee hee?'" Leah demanded.

A bell rang somewhere inside the school. Annabeth jumped. "I guess that all we can do is outsmart this school situation with logic," she said. "Come on!"

"Nuh uh," Rachel objected. "There's no way that I'm going into a school over the summer."

After a little while, they managed to beat down Rachel's protests. They entered Goode, Annabeth in the lead, to the raucous wolf-whistles of every single boy in sight.

"Hey, new girl!" One of the jock-types yelled. "Did you fall from heaven?"

"Movies at seven, my house at eight," another one of them called. "We can have some…fun, if you know what I mean."

"Eww," Annabeth muttered under her breath.

"Feisty, huh?" The same jock replied. "Just makes it better in bed."

Rachel and Leah grabbed Annabeth's arms and dragged her forward. Piper trailed behind them, glaring at all of the jocks. "I just met a really stereotypical social stigma," Leah said brightly. "That was…weird."

Out of nowhere—literally, the boy appeared out of nowhere—a boy came up to them and smiled at Annabeth. "Hey, I'm Drake," he said.

"Annabeth. I'm looking for a boy named Percy Jackson." Annabeth didn't know what made her say that. It was scary to think that an author out somewhere would be writing her words for her.

"Annabeth," said Drake, glaring. "So you're just one of those girls whose pretending to be Percy's girlfriend. Well I can tell you, it won't work. Leave him alone." He turned around and stalked off.

"That was weird," Annabeth scowled. "And the nerve of him!"

"Hang on, an abandoned hallway," said Rachel. "The school slut is going to kiss Percy, and he's going to reject her."

"Hey Percy-poo," purred a slutty-looking girl, who started kissing Percy.

"Get off Cara," Percy snarled, pushing "Cara" into the lockers so hard that a dent was made, but somehow Cara wasn't hurt at all. "I have a girlfriend."

"Thanks, Percy," Annabeth said, striding into sight. Annabeth kissed him, and he kissed back. Annabeth pulled away.

"Rachel, I don't think that we can kill this with logic. These type of stories are pretty good, and normally are logical. We just need to get back to Camp Half-Blood and kill the Sues."

"She's right," said Leah. "These stories are always pretty good as long as good grammar is maintained. We should leave them alone."

There was more spinning, and suddenly Annabeth felt herself back on the grass in Camp Half-Blood.

"So…all we had to do was admit that not all fanfiction was bad to get back?" Rachel asked. "Weird."

"Yeah, weird," said another voice. Annabeth looked up. Flame Nightshadow, she though. You're back.

"You know what else is weird?" Flame Nightshadow continued. "How now, we're going to kill you."