Potent Circumstance: A Prism of Delight and Pain
Chapter 2: A Good and Decent Person
In which Mr. Kneel Bitches is a shameless flirt and Jane is having none of his shit. Also, trouble. I also apologize if my line breaks screwed up during transfer and add that I couldn't see exactly what the damage might be.
Chapter 2: A Good and Decent Person
"You were told to run away, soak the place, and light the flame."
- Bullet for My Valentine
When Jane woke up, she noticed that it was dark through the slanted windows. She also noted, belatedly, that she had been tucked it with care, the food tray taken, and her book placed neatly to the side. Scowling, she kicked the covers away and stood. The note from earlier had been replaced by another.
'Dinner will be around sundown and can be private or public; whichever you wish.'
She had to hand it to him, he was doing his damnedest to make her comfortable. Then again, why shouldn't he? She sighed, hunted for a wrap, and knocked on the adjoining door.
He appeared not long afterward, and she backed up in case he needed to step into the room. She lifted her chin and met his gaze even though he tried avoiding hers. "Well?" she pressed quietly. She was tired more than anything, and somber. The nap kept her from feeling sleepy, but not drained.
He regarded her guardedly. "Did you read the note or not?"
"I don't care. Feed me, don't feed me. Eat with me or leave me alone. You don't care anyway."
He took a measured step closer, and his eyes flashed, leading her to believe she had angered him. But his voice, when he spoke, was surprisingly neutral. "If I did not care, you would be out on the street. Is that what you want?" He said the last part rather coldly, with a delicate stress. He grabbed her by the arm and held on despite her protests, leading her to the window, where he drew the curtain aside and said, "Look."
Trying to ignore his hand on her arm and failing, Jane glanced down into the street where he pointed. A beggar was just visible, tattered, frayed, and unkempt in every form of the word from head to toe.
Jane said nothing although she felt a bit like gnashing her teeth.
"Thank you for your hospitality, then. How honorable of you."
She knew Loki heard the sardonic edge and lack of graciousness, but he said nothing and dropped his arm. She turned to him. "Where will we be having dinner?"
He sighed. "In all truth, I have business to attend to that I was not made aware of until just recently." He sounded cross, but not with her.
"Do you mind if they see me?" Jane inquired, oddly not wanting to be alone even if it meant suffering through the company of him and his associates. Besides...knowing what was going on about her always made her feel better and more in control, even if there was nothing she could do about the circumstances.
"It matters not." Good. She would have insisted anyway just to be contrary.
"Your attire will be suitable," he nodded, then grimaced. "Even if it is the wrong color."
Jane stared down at herself in confusion that lifted as soon as she actually looked at what she had put on earlier...a beautiful, fitted, red dress with bell sleeves trimmed in gold. She couldn't help it: she giggled a bit, clapping a hand over her mouth. Her eyes went back up to him, and to her surprise, she saw him blushing and looking away. "The wrong color," she echoed. Seeing his temple pulse, she said curiously, "What would you have me wear? Green and silver?"
"That would be...preferable," he muttered through gritted teeth. "Any color, any other color...It does not matter. You are free to wear what you wish."
"Fine. I won't need to change, then."
A pulse point throbbed visibly on his temple, but he did not reprimand her. Jane turned her back to the window completely and granted him a watered down version of a courteous smile. "Ready for dinner, Prince Loki?"
Civility. Frigga had shown that even in the face of her enemies, and she was a role model if anyone was. So Jane would be like her and show her son civility even when she really wanted to spit in his face. She went with him downstairs silently.
Once there, he directed her to one of the dining rooms. There were several chairs around their table. Jane elected to sit the farthest away from them-which, unfortunately, meant sitting at the head of the table right beside Loki. She shrunk away and sat completely speechless, hoping she didn't come across as a petulant child.
The guests soon arrived, tall, elegant people, mostly elves. Jane realized she hadn't truly looked closely at the people of Alfheim, or thought much about the elf part. They sort of looked like Lord of the Rings elves, all tall elegance and strength. They greeted Loki in their strange language, and Jane tried making herself look small. Dammit. She was foolish to believe she would be able to understand the meeting.
The food came and she pretended that she belonged, subtly getting a look at each member so she could at least point them out if not name them. She jumped in surprise when her name caught her attention. Her head snapped up and her eyes darted around.
She realized that they were staring at her, that Loki had been introducing her to them. She returned their greetings in English and hoped she sounded gracious. Loki, presumably, translated for her.
"What should I say?" Jane hissed out of the corner of her mouth.
"Say nothing. You cannot comprehend the conversation anyway."
"Don't be an ass. You could translate and you know it."
"It does not matter. They are not here for you and were merely curious."
He went on to start an intense conversation with them, leaving Jane to finish her plate, excluded but somehow relieved. As soon as was proper, she planned to excuse herself, but a disruption in the room across the corridor caught her attention. The elf men at her table all stood, weapons drawn. Loki reached over and yanked her to her feet. "What is it? What's happened?"
"Nothing good. Keep quiet."
It had to be serious, then. He would have reacted differently if it were Thor or anyone else from Asgard, and she knew it wasn't anyone from Midgard. She felt a hand take hers, and in her disquiet at the situation refrained from protesting as he led her out of the other door and up the back stairs to her room.
"We need to pack what we can carry and leave."
"What about your allies?"
"None of that matters. We need to-"
The hallway suddenly got chilly, and he swore, wrenching her room door open shoving them both inside to shoot the bolt home. He turned, gestured, and had belongings flying across the room into traveling pack she hadn't noticed before. "I will return."
He strode briskly across her room and slipped into his, no doubt to do packing of his own. He returned a minute or so later with a full pack just as hers finished packing itself.
Jane picked it up and slung it on, pausing to ask as he re-crossed the room, "Who's coming?"
"That is not your concern," he replied brusquely. Jane squared her shoulders. "I'm only in danger because of you. You drug me along on top of everything else. So tell me! I have a right to know."
This time, he did lose his temper. "It will not matter to them who you are. They will kill you sooner than look at you and I am your only protection."
Cold had spread into the room by then, and Jane could see her breath. A bit of frost began creeping underneath the door. "Let me guess. They're not here for a family reunion," she said dryly. "Good job on your people skills. Just A-rated."
"Hold your tongue," he glowered, reaching out to pull her behind him.
"What, fleeing not an option anymore?"
"Not so soon, no," he snapped.
"Are you a shape-shifter?" Jane asked. "Can you turn into anything useful with wings?"
He paused, stared at her fixedly. "Yes," he said excitedly, relieved, and she realized he had panicked a bit being trapped.
"Do it, then."
She backed up against the wall as his form began to shimmer, stretching and changing, getting closer and closer to the furniture and taking up more and more room. The shifting stopped and a vicious, fearsome, winged creature stood before her, smaller than a dragon with long, sharp, deadly claws and terrifying teeth. It was odd how beauty and death could be tied up in one thing...despite its obvious capacity to kill, there existed something graceful and ethereal about it.
Jane moved forward cautiously and picked up his pack where he'd dropped it, hesitantly approaching him. She would ask him what he has chosen to be afterward. What worried her more was the icing over of the door. The Frost Giants were closing in on them. He bent his knees while she climbed onto his back, and straightened once she had settled into a natural dip, securing the other pack in front of her and leaning forward.
"Just so you know, this is only a circumstance thing. Otherwise, I would not be touching you."
He snorted, and there came a rumbling underneath her almost as if he was laughing at her. She didn't have long to wonder about it before the door got blasted out of the way.
Tall, imposing blue figures appeared, red eyes glaring and the patterns on their skin standing out. The creature beneath her reared and roared, fuming. Jane tightened her grip, holding on for dear life.
The wings-membranous and enormous, started rising, beating, and Jane wondered how, exactly, they would get away. The guards at the door aimed, and the ice thrown was met with a stream of fire that sent them screeching, scattering like ninepins.
"What now?" she asked. Her knees clenched even tighter against his sides as he maneuvered his new, powerful shoulders, turning toward the far wall.
"Oh hell no," Jane said as Loki the creature prepared to charge the wall-she felt all of the muscles bunch and coil-and then he torpedoed forward.
"FUCK!" Jane yelled as they broke through, and she leaned down so tightly against the broad back beneath her she thought she might sink through, stone and debris flying everywhere, exploding, moving. He broke through with another roar and blew a fireball.
"Please don't drop me," Jane begged. "I think I might be sick."
Jane was trembling. She hated heights so much...suddenly Loki cried out, and she saw that he had been hit.
"Shiiiiiit," she whined, sounding like Darcy for once. She did her best to glare at them as he tried to maintain height, flapping and gliding frantically. They soared over the wall, made it to wide, rolling hills and fields with forest in the distance. She saw the ribbon of a river below. Loki banked right, planning to land, when Jane felt herself slipping.
A scream ripped its way out of Jane's throat; Loki had dipped unintentionally, his right wing struggling to hold up his injured right side. She felt herself tumbling end over end toward the water below where rapids were visible, and jagged rocks. Her heart felt like it would explode, terror seized her. She started to scream again when she felt a set of claws hook into the back of her dress, stopping her fall just eight feet above the most wicked looking rock in that section of the river.
There was a great groan above her, and she feared she might get dropped, but she was steadied a minute later, tumbling harmlessly to the ground once they lowered five feet. She saw Loki glide over her and land much harder than she had, blood splashing the ground. His wings tangled around him and he struggled momentarily before he started getting smaller, reverting back to his usual self.
Jane got to her feet and stumbled to him, dropping to her knees. His clothes were in tatters, his hair wild. Her hands hovered over him uncertainly. She rolled him over, pulling his head into her lap. "You look like hell," she whispered, choked.
A grin curled across his face. "I knew there was a reason I liked you." He winced.
"You save my life again," Jane whispered.
"No," he made a face, "I was merely making sure you would never put on that offensive rag again."
Jane felt like both laughing and crying. She felt the split running up the back, the ragged tears from his claws.
He sat up carefully, and she saw blooms of red on his clothes.
"That's why you dropped me. They hurt you..." She gingerly touched one of the wounds, and he swore vibrantly. "As if you care, Jane."
Jane bit her lip. "I do."
He looked at her sharply, and, perceiving no lie, and said softly, "Why?"
"Because any good and decent person would," she whispered, touching his face. She stood and knelt down, pulling his arm over her shoulder.
"Come on, we need to find some sort of cover."
"You would help me? I thought you hated me."
"You helped me. Besides, I can't leave you here."
He stood with her help, and, although he made no sound, she knew it hurt him. She made no comment as she stumbled along with him, wordlessly making progress until they got underneath the trees.
"There's got to be something I can do," Jane blurted. "Anything..."
She leaned them against a tree to rest. When she opened her eyes, she saw him staring at her chest.
"Do you want to be smacked?" she said in exasperation. His eyes rose to hers. "I was looking at that necklace. It looks like it might have healing properties. Let me see it."
He fumbled at the chain, but Jane shifted away. "Hands off."
She pulled it over her head and handed it to him. He took it, and she saw a splash of blood on his palm.
"Let me help you." Biting the insides of her cheeks so she wouldn't recoil, she took it back and stood on her tiptoes to loop it over his head, and ended up falling against him. His wince that time contorted his entire face, but he steadied them and stared down into hers. In a flash of movement, he stole a kiss from her.
Jane jumped away in shock, and the sudden movement nearly knocked him down. He stared at her.
"Why did you do that?" Jane all but shrieked at him. "You know you're not to touch me."
"Oh, I know," he relied simply. He waited as she calmed, and, warily, Jane approached him again, ducking down and away but going back to support him anyway.
"Thank you," he murmured. Jane swallowed, but said nothing; when they happened upon a cave, she eased him down to the floor immediately, then threw the packs down. She rummaged through one, pulled out a blanket, and helped move him onto it. He murmured his thanks again, and Jane drew away.
"You're still bleeding. I need to...to soak them...they should really be boiled..."
She drug them out, searched their bags for anything that might help, and took it all to where he lay, spreading it across the blanket. She scrambled around and pulled a dagger from one of his boots, hacking at his shirt.
"I swear I'll cut you myself if you make a joke about taking your clothes off," Jane muttered viciously.
Loki didn't make a sound, but watched steadily as she tried cleaning him up, saw her blanch at the gaping, oozing, wounds.
Satisfied with her crude work, Jane settled back on her heels.
"You'll die if we stay here."
"Then why go through the motions? Letting me die would be a gift to you, I would think." Jane knew she couldn't slap him and risk hurting him further, but she did reach forward and pinch him nastily.
"Shut up. You're easier to like when you're quiet."
His head fell back and he laughed, smirking at her. "I love it when you're like that."
Jane blushed. "Stop while you're ahead."
"Or what?" he challenged.
"Or nothing," she flared. How in the world could he possibly think of flirting with her at a time like that? She figured that with someone like Loki, who couldn't keep their knees together if their life depended on it, it happened by default.
He continued regarding her with that same self-satisfied smirk. Jane had the strange urge to kick Loki right then. Rolling her eyes, she picked up the flask of liquor she had used to clean his wounds, opened it, and sniffed. After a moment, she decided to take a swig, and then crawled over to him, carefully helping him sit up, and bit back a rude remark when he tilted his head back against her chest. She tipped the liquor down his throat.
"That's all you're getting right now." She closed it back up. She tried moving a way, but he kept leaning back into her.
"Lo-"
"Please."
That shut her mouth. Pretty soon, she found that he was sleeping. Or he was unconscious. Either way...he would die without help. She couldn't take care of him forever without better knowledge.
There came a rustling, and Jane reached for the dagger.
"You won't need that."
She flinched backward. An old, withered, woman stooped, staring at her. Jane's throat went dry. The woman sat down beside her with a groan, swinging a bag onto her lap.
"I am Frigga-sent," she announced.
"Frigga is dead," Jane replied unthinkingly. The woman eyed her.
"Aye," she agreed, "but she did something for me, and I promised that one day I would do something for her."
"A little late, aren't you?" Jane asked.
The old one sighed. "She made me promise to repay my life debt to her by helping the son that would need the most help."
Jane sat straighter. "Can you help him, now? He's hurt badly and..." Bless Frigga. Saving Loki's sorry ass from beyond.
"Well, I'm a Moss Woman, a healer that lives as one with nature and roams the Realms. I know things about healing others don't. Even Asgard with its fancy equipment doesn't have my secret knowledge."
Jane felt herself relaxing. The woman had to be telling the truth. And what did they have to lose, really? He didn't have much of a chance without her, and killing him didn't seem to be a goal of hers.
Jane heaved Loki off of her and scooted back, making room for the Moss Woman. "Do what you have to."
A secondary thought came to mind.
"What's your name?"
"Lífa."
"Thank you, Lífa," she said quietly.
...xxx...
The hands finally stopped moving, having finished tending to him just as Loki began coming to. He kept his eyes tightly closed.
"Will he be all right now?" he heard Jane ask from somewhere off to his left.
"I believe so," someone older and female-his savior, no doubt- rasped. What Jane said next surprised him.
"Thank you, Lífa." It surprised him because it seemed genuine, sincere. Lífa spoke again. "Frigga would have liked you."
"She did," Jane responded quietly. Someone stood shakily- Lífa, he assumed.
"My debt is paid. I will tell no one where you are."
Jane murmured a thanks again, and Loki waited until the shuffling grew fainter before he opened his eyes. Jane sat against the cave wall in shadow.
"What happened?" He frowned. The question had come out as a croak, and Jane had almost jumped out of her skin when he spoke.
"I see you're better."
"Disappointed?" He really did want to know. To his surprise, her head fell into her hands. "No." She sounded angry at herself.
A moment later, she cleared her throat and raised her head from its cradled position.
"She owed some sort of debt to your mother."
Ah. That's how he had been saved, and it explained what he had overheard. It seemed that, even dead, Mother seemed to be the only one that gave a damn. He wished he had not snapped at her so...he missed her. He repressed the ache in his heart and cleared his throat.
"I see you got into the food supply."
Jane almost looked embarrassed.
"I was hungry...and sometimes I can be a nervous eater."
Loki sat up stiffly, wincing. "Worried?"
"That I was stranded," she replied sardonically, but granted him a real smile. Then it fell. Doubt and confusion flickered in her eyes.
Loki filed that away for later and gestured at pots, pans, and other things he knew they hadn't had.
"Lífa brought them."
Oh. That smoothed things out a bit.
"She said you shouldn't move around very much. I'll have to take care of you."
"Ooh, I like the sound of that," he told her. Exasperation replaced the emotions swirling around in her gaze.
"Really?" Jane sighed. "You can't help yourself, can you?"
"I have no idea what you mean." It was perhaps one of his most honest moments. Jane rolled her eyes in consternation, and Loki's brow furrowed in confusion. "Well? Care to explain?"
"Quit stripping me with your eyes," Jane snapped. "Christ, just because you were with me once..."
"I rather thought you wanted to forget that."
Jane scrunched up her features in distaste.
"Believe me, I do. You're making it...difficult."
Loki didn't know quite how to take that. Jane gathered food and brought it over to him.
"So," she tried conversationally, "what was that thing you turned into to get us away from them?"
"A Bandersnatch." He shrugged.
"A...a Bandersnatch? Like from Wonderland?" Her eyes bugged a bit. "'The frumious Bandersnatch,' she muttered. "A portmanteau of fuming and furious."
"What would you have preferred, a dragon?" This time he rolled his eyes.
Jane massaged her temples. "Patience is a virtue," she mumbled to herself. Her hand dropped. "Eat," she prodded gently. "Then you can sleep."
"What a good a decent person you are."
Jane eyed him. "Don't push it. My kindness and patience aren't limitless."
...xxx...
Darcy really hated seeing the big guy in such disarray. She was the only person he had left with his mother, father, brother, and Jane all gone (the Warriors Three and Sif had better get home quickly), and she figured she wasn't all that much consolation.
A guard came to the door of the Throne Room.
"A dignitary is here. Where is our lord?"
"Are you stupid? He isn't seeing anyone now. Go away!" Darcy grouched through the door. She slumped down in relief when she heard his footfalls fade away.
She bit her lip and glanced at the throne. Thor looked like hell.
"Thank you, Darcy." Darcy jumped and swore. She thought he was doing that tune-out-the-world thing again.
"Hey, no problem. This is way better than six credits. And no one's trying to kill me this time, either."
It startled her when Thor smiled gently.
"You are a great gift, Darcy Lewis."
Darcy blinked. "Sure. It's just the depression and lack of companionship talking. But hey. Beats nothing."
That time, he laughed. "Your humor never fails you."
Darcy shrugged. She didn't really know what to say to Thor. Sorry your brother's a bastard? Sorry he probably ganked your dad? Sorry you're both orphans now? That your friends are carrying out your duties because you're a mess, that your family is a train wreck? It was easier to laugh so you wouldn't cry, and if she could keep Humpty Dumpty from tumbling off of the wall, she would give it her damnedest.
Darcy made her way over to where Thor paced useless, passing Mjölnir from hand to hand.
"You really need to get out. Come on."
Thor stopped and gave her an expression wrought with confusion.
"I do not-"
"Out," Darcy tried again. To go somewhere and do something."
Thor regarded her helplessly. He started to reply when the doors opened and Sif and the Warriors Three entered.
"Thor," Sif began, stopping when she caught sight of Darcy.
"We heard what happened," Volstagg said gently. "We will find her."
Darcy saw something pass over Sif's countenance. The warrior woman moved closer to Thor and put a hand on his shoulder. "We are all here for you to help you through this difficult time."
"You speak as if she has died," Thor rejoined angrily, and Sif dropped her hand, retreating.
Darcy started panicking.
Before anyone could object or a fight could start, she grabbed Thor by the arm, shocked when he didn't pull away, and started guiding him to the door. "He's going out right now."
"Going out?" Hogun sounded nonplussed.
Darcy turned around and gave them all a meaningful look. "He needs it more than anyone. And when he comes back, you can all make war plans and sign treaties and find Jane, or whatever the hell it is you do. Joust or some shit. It doesn't matter. He needs some stress relief."
"Darcy-" Thor began, but, with surprising strength, she had yanked him out of the room.
"Food, anyone?" Volstagg asked after a moment. The others stared at him. "What? I'm hungry!"
...xxx...
They were in the cave for almost a week. Jane changed the dressings on Loki's wounds and fed both of them. Lífa returned occasionally-Jane was sure it was to make sure they hadn't kicked off while they were stuck in one place like sitting ducks.
She set another fire, put water on to boil, and started to fix tea (which Lífa had left ingredients for) when she noticed her hands shaking. Something messed with her balance, and she felt an uncharacteristic touch of dizziness. Before she knew what happened, she had dropped the container she had been holding. The contents skittered across the floor. As if from afar, she heard her name being called, but, dazedly, she nearly fell.
Someone caught her, and her surroundings rushed back into focus.
"Jane." Loki's worried voice was right by her ear. She felt herself being lowered to the floor.
"I'm fine," she mumbled embarrassedly. She raised her hand to brush her hair out of her eyes and saw red. A shard had cut her hand.
"Dammit," she muttered, sitting up. "Where are those bandages?"
They floated over enveloped in a green cloud.
"Thanks." Jane reached for it, but Loki snatched it out of the air before she could and took her hand. Jane let him bandage it for her. She felt ill and off-kilter, and tired on top of it. She noticed that he had subtly drawn her to his chest as he worked. She squirmed uncomfortably.
"When are we leaving?" she asked to take her mind off of the unwelcome contact. She felt his eyes on her.
"I do not think it wise to travel as of yet."
Jane sighed and visibly deflated. She wished she were back in her own room or her lab...even that hotel that she had been forced to leave behind. She felt a rush of overwhelming emotion and fought desperately not to cry, only just succeeding.
She moved away and huddled by the cave wall, searching through the bags for a book. She felt a hand on her shoulder. "Jane," Loki began.
Jane shrugged him off. "I'm only here because of you. I was pretty much every positive letter in the alphabet from amiable to content to zingy and then...now people want to kill me by mistaken association."
It was rather cruel after the longest coexistence they had had, but she didn't apologize, or check the silence that ensued. Broodingly, she hunched over her book and squinted. A light appeared above her, illuminating the pages.
"I know you think you're cute or something," Jane grumbled, "but-"
"I do not appreciate your attitude."
That made her glance up sharply, and half of why consisted of how it had been said-partly sullen and partly sour, with a tinge of anger, but the sort of anger that came from enduring something.
"I saved your life again."
"And I saved yours," Jane snapped at Loki. "So we're even. And if anyone should be guilt tripping someone..."
A tense silence ensued. Jane sighed.
"I'm sorry. I'm just going stir-crazy. I know this can't be easy on you, either."
His anger dissipated somewhat.
"We might just kill each other if we stay cooped up much longer," she added, and saw his jaw clench and unclench.
Jane closed her book carefully and put it away again, standing carefully. No dizziness hit her that time. She extended her hand to Loki.
"Let's take a walk."
He was the last person she would normally take a walk with, but considering no one else happened to be trapped in a cave with her...After a moment of hesitation, he took it and stood, too.
Jane peeked out of the cave warily before stepping out, glad that Loki had healed for the most part and wouldn't need to lean on her. The woods were quiet, the river burbling off in the distance. She was glad that it was calmer where they were stuck. She had had one too many dreams of drowning or being impaled (or both). Leaves were strewn underfoot, and Jane had to watch the ground to keep from tripping over large roots. It was very peaceful out there. She might have even enjoyed it any other time. Loki, at least, had stopped flirting with her every ten minutes, and staring at her in that nearly-creepy, unnerving way no doubt fueled by some twisted unresolved longing. Or his usual sleep-with-what-has-a-pulse tendencies. Either way, she was glad for a lesser intensity.
What appeared to be a pine martin with horns darted out across their path and stopped, chattering at them. Loki's arm shot out to hold Jane back.
"What is that?" Jane whispered as it bared pointed little fangs in a grin.
He said a name that sounded sort of sing-song and odd.
"In English?" He glanced down at her.
"Do not touch it on its skull. That will make it strike out at you. The poison on those fangs will kill you within five minutes."
Jane meant to say that that was no kind of answer when it darted forward and settled on her foot, staring up at her. "Do not move," he said under his breath, uncurling his fist, where a green fireball started growing. The creature continued to stare up at Jane innocently.
"Wait," she murmured, carefully bending down. He hissed a warning at her, but she paid him no mind and scratched the creature along the jawline and just behind the ear. It shocked her when it leaned its head against her knee, making an odd sound akin to purring.
"I'll be damned," Loki muttered. He glanced at Jane wonderingly. "Interesting, Miss Foster. Very interesting indeed. They do not usually take to things outside of their species."
"So they're sort of like you," she commented wryly, if good-naturedly. The creature licked her and darted off into the underbrush. Jane watched for it until the vegetation stopped trembling, and then she turned back to Loki. He was staring at her once a-freaking-gain. He shrugged noncommittally. "I cannot deny it." Dry humor surfaced in the response, and Jane smiled a bit and nibbled on her lip.
"We're breaking all the stereotypes," Jane continued cheerfully. She leaned against the tree closest to her after glancing over it to make sure she wouldn't regret it. He grew quiet and somewhat serious.
"Are we?" he whispered. Jane frowned, but stood her ground, pressing a tinsey bit more firmly into the tree.
She watched him, half afraid, knowing he wouldn't purposely hurt her but wavering between offense and defense plans in case he...she didn't know. It hurt to not be able to trust someone like that. It scared her, too. He kept going closer and closer to her, and Jane's eyes flickered around.
"Please don't hurt me," she blurted, cringing. She sounded pathetic, and she instantly regretted it as she saw pain flash into his eyes, eyes that hardened a little.
He had paused at her plea.
"I would never hurt you," he replied quietly, solemn.
"But you have," she whispered. He looked away from her.
"You will never get past it, will you?" His fists balled up, clenching and unclenching.
Jane felt fury rise anew with something else that confused her completely and seemed almost contradictory to everything else, every emotion, her mind and body screamed. Compassion. Sympathy. Not forgiveness, though, not just yet.
"I don't know," she answered truthfully, swallowing. "I mean...I don't know that I can forgive you...but I don't hate you. Not anymore."
"Then what?" He whirled back around, ardent.
"Is it just because of how much of a good and decent person you are?" The mockery stung. Jane bit back an angry retort and angry tears and flashed, "No, it isn't, you ass. I think everyone, even you, deserves a chance. Thor-and don't say you can't bear to hear his name- isn't perfect, wasn't always so good as he is now."
"I am not Thor," he snarled. Jane stepped forward, within arm's length.
"No, you're not. Thor never would have done that to me."
Something in him snapped, and he grabbed her, shoving her against the tree she had leaned against minutes earlier. Their gazes held, until Jane said very quietly, "I thought you said you wouldn't hurt me, Loki. Don't you ever keep your word?"
He jerked his hands away as if she had slapped him.
"A good and decent person," he hissed, "does not act like that."
"What, doesn't hold you accountable?" she jabbed. "Then I guess Frigga herself was blacker than you are."
He came just short of putting his hands on her, she could tell. He did, however, get in her face.
"Never speak of her again." He sounded deadly. Jane, though, seemed to be tempting fate.
"Or what?" The taunt came out thoughtlessly.
He didn't strike her as she thought he would. Instead, he went very still, and then trailed a hand down her arm. He leaned forward just a breath from her ear, breathing heavily, and slid his hand onto the small of her back. It was enough to make Jane flinch. "I can be very...persuasive," he whispered directly over her ear. He stayed close to her, and Jane, chest heaving, stayed very still.
"I'm sorry." And she was, not because she was afraid of him, but because she realized she had went much too far and prodded where she shouldn't have, where he was sorest, and that no one had the right to take one of his only true treasured possessions away from him. He had already lost his mother. She shouldn't add insult to injury and trample on her image.
He drew back, still very close to her. His lips neared her jawline. "Is it because you are afraid of me? Afraid I intend to harm you?"
"No," Jane told him truthfully, and explained what she had realized and come to a conclusion on. "It's not very good or decent of me to hurt you over and over just because I'm still miserable. It isn't fair. Just because I don't forgive you doesn't give me the right. Even if you're just as much in the wrong."
His arms came around her, and he held her, hand on the back of her head, and hugged her. "Thank you." Jane blinked back astonished tears and cleared her throat.
"I need a bath."
"As do I." Well, hell. There was that flirtatiousness again. It had been good while it lasted, that absence of it. Jane pushed at him. "I don't need help, thank you."
"But I may," he continued, all velvet and persuasion. Jane set her mouth in a firm line. "No. Absolutely not."
"I have already seen you naked. It is nothing new."
"That's why the answer's still no," Jane groaned, exasperated. "You'll get all..." She didn't want to think about how he might get. "No, just no."
He sighed, retreating. "Fine."
All of his intense emotion and anger seemed to have vanished. He held out his arm to her.
"Shall we?" Jane sucked on her front teeth in thought, then nodded. Might as well.