Potent Circumstance: A Prism of Delight and Pain

Chapter 7: Daring and Caution

A/N: I'm sorry not sorry very sorry for the pain and feels that will may be experienced.

Chapter 7: Daring and Caution

"There's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for."

-John Keating, "Dead Poets Society"

"Why don't you go wrack yourself with guilt in your own room?" Thor stood quickly as Sigyn entered the room, which happened to be her receiving parlor. She had been teasing, but he started apologizing anyway. "Forgive me. I apologize for intruding, but-"

"It's fine," she broke in gently, smiling kindly, her eyes sparkling playfully. She sat, cat-like and graceful, opposite of him, curling her legs beneath her. "So, what brings the younger brother of my best friend to my door-and so stricken, no less?"

Unlike his sister's soft, ethereal blonde, Sigyn's hair seemed to be a sort of vibrant, golden, radiant honey, all sunshine and soft smiles and light laughter; she had no traces of darkness or hardness about her. Her eyes always shifted color, depending on the lighting. Thor caught and held those eyes, and he knew Sigyn had seen everything-well, the aftermath his emotions had suffered, at any rate. She sighed. "Oh dear."

She stood up and paced, repeating it, "Oh dear", over and over, waving her hand to make good ale float out of her cabinet and to the table with a glass for Thor.

"Tell me."

"I do not wish to burden you unduly," Thor explained. Sigyn scoffed.

"Pish-tosh. You, burden me? Nonsense. Now tell me your troubles. It is unsettling to see your heart in so much turmoil."

Thor smiled wearily, massaging the heels of his hands into his eyes and carding his fingers through his hair.

"Well, it is a delicate matter."

"Yes?" Sigyn prompted from her medicine cabinet. Thor exhaled and haltingly began explaining, deciding not to leave out anything since he knew Sigyn was the one person who would and could remain impartial and not judge him.

By the time he had relayed everything, she seemed deep in thought, her eyebrows drawn together and her forehead wrinkled. She had handed him some sort of calming solution to take with the ale, and sat beside of him patiently. Her unfocused gaze focused on him. "This is troubling," she remarked. "And you do not know where she is, and are certain he still has her."

She stated rather than inquired each fact, as if checking while she mused. She hit her fingertips together and sat up straighter. "Really all you can do is wait. Don't seize the moment just yet. Be cautious."

"Do not make a disgrace of myself and break a handful of hearts," Thor added, grimacing. Sigyn's lips quirked just a bit. She patted his arm consolingly. "You haven't done any wrong-yet. Just watch where you next step."

Sigyn gave Thor a hug when he stood. "I am so sorry that I could not do more for you as of now. But of course you know that my door is always open for a friend."

Thor clasped a hand over her shoulder and kissed her forehead. "I know."

When her door closed behind him, he had another calming solution in a corked vial tucked safely into his pocket.

He reentered the throne room, confronted with his four warrior friends. Hogun wordlessly handed him a letter stamped with his sister's seal. He tore it open and read her sharp, slanting script quickly. It was concise, consisting of but a few words:

'Brother. Going after them.

Love,

N.A.'

The paper floated gently to the floor, landing by his booted foot. Thor looked up at Sif and each of the Warriors Three for an explanation.

"So she is gone. They are both gone."

"Yes," Sif nodded.

"But she will find him," Volstagg added hopefully. "Won't she? She always does. She finds everyone."

"Perhaps," Hogun agreed.

Thor cleared his throat softly. "Thank you, all of you, I-"

They were interrupted by Little Frigga bounding into the room and leaping at Thor. Though surprised, his arms went up to catch her, and, wriggling and twisting, she stretched up to lick his nose. Thor's laughter boomed out and he petted her.

"Frigga!" Darcy called, rushing into the room. "What did I tell you about-"

She stopped, catching sight of Thor, and felt color and heat flood her cheeks. "Oh," she said. She didn't catch the dirty look Sif gave her. "My bad," she tried again when no one said anything right away. She bit her lip and glanced downward, avoiding looking at Thor for any longer than necessary. The entrance of another warrior saved her further awkwardness or future embarrassment.

"Tyr," Thor greeted, noticing him immediately. He gently pressed Little Frigga into Darcy's arms and turned to his other brother. "What news?"

Tyr relayed all he knew, talking animatedly. As he did so, he caught sight of Sif, and he winked. Sif scowled and pretended not to notice.

Tyr, smirking, said, "And did anything of import happen while I went after your sister?"

Thor chuckled dryly. Tyr looked to the others for an explanation, namely Sif. When she said nothing, Fandral supplied the response. "Yes, actually, while you went after Naryu for diplomatic reasons, she sent back a letter saying she was going to personally track down Loki and find him."

"Indeed?" Tyr lifted a brow. "She had already gone when I arrived. Scared everyone weak-willed or faint of heart, and a lot of others not. They showed her everything and she just set off into the wilderness like a bloodhound."

"She is still very angry," Thor said softly, "and grieving," he added, and then inquired after the name of the guard, saying in explanation, "I wish to compensate the family, if he left one."

"He had none," Tyr answered slowly, "Though he was called Algot. His family was killed in the Bifrost incident, and he was the last."

An awkward silence ensued.

Little Frigga broke it with a yowl and squirmed free, bolting into the corridor and out of sight. Darcy lurched forward in pursuit, pausing to throw over her shoulder, "I must follow her!"

Those gathered in the Throne Room watched her disappear, one with a clenched heart.

...xxx...

Little Frigga stopped abruptly for no apparent reason and began to back and scratch at a seemingly random room just as Darcy got within two feet of her.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, darting forward to snatch up the animal, though not before the door creaked inward. Darcy fell on her ass, completely taken by surprise. Immediately she offered profuse apologies to whomever the owner happened to be, straightening to come face-to-face with a kind-looking blonde woman.

The woman's eyes glinted in recognition as she took in Darcy and the squirming puppy.

"Darcy Lewis and Little Frigga I presume?"

Darcy jumped. "What's it to you?" she blurted, hoping she didn't sound too rude. The woman laughed brightly and smiled warmly. "I am a friend of Thor. He spoke to me of you-only pleasant things, I assure you, but enough to feel as if I know you myself. What brings you to my door?"

"Oh-the puppy," Darcy mumbled, fumbling with said creature. She juggled the moving critter against her stomach, trying not to get licked in the eye.

"That is not what I meant," the woman continued. "Lower animals sometimes sense things in their humans. Perhaps she knew you needed to talk to someone?"

Darcy's eyes narrowed. "I don't mean to sound bitchy, but ah...why would I need to talk to you?"

The woman chortled. "I am Sigyn-a good listener if you need one. Thor, Loki, and Naryu all confided in me at one time or another. We grew up together, you see."

"So you're basically all of their best friend, right?" Darcy guessed. Sigyn inclined her head ever so slightly. "You could say that."

"So I guess you help their other friends, too?"

Sigyn sighed, leaning against her doorframe. "Only if they want me to."

Darcy bit her lip and stared hard at a stone by her right foot. "I'm a fool and I think I've started something that can only end terribly."

Her head jerked up when she felt a hand rest on her shoulder. Sigyn stood before her, her eyes sympathetic. "You are not a fool, Darcy Lewis, and you have done nothing wrong-yet. But you must be cautious. Now is not the time to be daring or impulsive. It is a season of waiting. Do you understand me?"

Darcy stared into her understanding gaze, one free of judgment or harshness.

"You know," she whispered softly.

"I know," Sigyn echoed. "I hear many things."

She took her hand away and gave Darcy a one-armed hug, retreating into her room. The door closed softly. It was then that Darcy noticed that Little Frigga had stilled and fallen asleep. She scowled affectionately.

"Sneaky snitch."

The puppy merely huffed and snuggled into her bosom.

...xxx...

For the second time, Jane awoke in Loki's arms, but comfortably, although she felt peculiar. His skin felt like silk against hers, and she resisted the unaccountably strong urge to touch it. She felt his arm draped loosely about her waist, his hand on her abdomen. She swallowed, tilting her head back by the inch until she could see his face. His expression was different with her near, it seemed: closer to peace, but not quite there, a bittersweet melancholy cocktail. He whispered her name though in slumber, softly, and the way he said it was like a caress.

His other hand held her limply by the small of her back, pressing softly into her skin. Jane felt the moment settle around them, and thought perhaps that had they been lovers, it would be when she kissed him and woke him with a tender caress. Something in her almost wanted to despite everything, something like chemistry but not quite. Something more terrifying and wonderful. And then a sort of haze settled over her, and she felt something else entirely.

His hips shifted and she felt him, soft and not aroused, move against her thigh and fleetingly rub her clit. She gasped involuntarily and it both broke the spell and woke him up in one instant. He stared at her groggily, dazed and confused, and then sharpened. He shifted again, coming in contact with her clit briefly, and Jane moaned, instantly flooding red in embarrassment-and flushing with instant intense pleasure.

Instead of some cheeky remark, he did it again before she could speak, and Jane moan-whimpered. "Please," she exhaled. Loki paused, unreadable, rising up a little on one elbow. "'Please' what?" he murmured, touching her shoulder lightly. "'Please stop' or 'please don't stop'?"

Jane's overwhelmed brain didn't seem to know. He seemed to sense as much, pausing, but Jane whispered, "Please, Loki," another time.

He swallowed, closing his eyes, and drew back. "You say that because I aroused you and you need to finish. You do not want me to. You would regret it later if I-"

Desperate, Jane sat up straight, groaning for the sensation surrounding her sensitized clit, and grabbed him for a sloppy kiss. Breaking off, she rested her forehead against his. "Please." Jane felt sick but asked anyway, compelled by the reddening haze. She had to. She knew he would, or thought so from his obvious attraction and his feelings for her.

Loki breathed heavily through his nose, trying to remain in control. "You will not appreciate it later if you let me take you now," he pressed gently. "All you need is release, which you could find on your own. You do not want me."

"And suddenly you're the responsible one?" Jane taunted, completely confounded with her own actions and words. Loki sighed. "Jane, you do not know what you ask. It would not be taken the same way."

"You never say no," Jane appealed. Loki snarled and pushed her flat onto her back, pinning her wrists above her head, and the fog driving her abated an inch.

She started breathing heavily, her breasts heaving. "Now," she whispered. Loki eyed her oddly. "Did you take something," he asked sharply. Jane stared at him confusedly.

"Are you asking if I'm high?"

"Yes," he replied shortly. Jane shook her head no. He leaned down, eyes narrowed, and smelt her breath.

"Sweet, like fruit and candy," he muttered, and when he straightened, he seemed anxious.

"What all did you eat? Did you eat anything different?"

Jane frowned, wiggling her hips suggestively, pouting when Loki ignored her. "No."

"Did you eat any fruit?"

Jane shook a no again.

"Berries?" He sounded horrified. Jane paused, remembering, and nodded.

"There were some bits in my desert."

Loki groaned, releasing her wrists, and covered his face. "Damn," he whispered. He said it louder a few more times.

"What's wrong?" Jane asked worriedly, sidling up to his lap and grinning in a very uncharacteristically lascivious manner. Loki's hand dropped.

"Tum Tum berries," he said with an irked sigh, "Not eaten whole in any case and they can cause things such as a craving for new experiences, mild mood change and personality shifts...and or increase in sexual pleasures or desires. In rare instances, they do so exponentially."

"So?" Jane purred, placing a hand on his knee.

Loki swore. Jane giggled hysterically.

"So they can cause insanity or heart failure in humans," he snapped. Her smile barely flickered. Loki removed her hand. "Also so, your desire is likely manufactured or hyped so ridiculously that you would take anyone close to you."

Jane slipped her hand between his knees.

"And your plan?"

"It will only worsen," Loki acknowledged. "I know that without knowing how much you consumed."

"So...logically you have to play to my desires. Unless-" she straddled his lap, stroking him, and his resolve wavered a tad- "you would rather I fuck someone else." She giggled again, louder and longer, like a drunk.

Loki pushed her off but with care. "I do not want to fuck you!" he hissed angrily. Jane frowned and burst into crocodile tears, outraged. "Why?"

Loki pinned her down again, glaring, and the waterworks cut short. Her lips curved into a lusty grin. "Gonna do it, princeling?"

"No," he growled. He bent his neck, kissing her ear, and her entire body shuddered. He blew over the shell, speaking lowly. "I want to make love to my Jane. Slowly. Passionately. Breathtakingly."

Jane arched upward, mewling. "Please."

Loki gazed at her sadly, shaking his head no. "But you are not my Jane."

"Yes I am," she whined pitifully, crying again. "Loki, don't you love me anymore, or was it a lie, too?" Loki sat back on his heels.

"I am the one saying no this time because I love you. I know you would not want this as yourself." He kissed her chastely, cutting off any protests, then pulled her into a sitting position. "The new experiences do not have to be of this nature," he mused, patting her hair absentmindedly as she toyed with his nipple. "And it will be a while yet before you start to become mad. I could even simply find the berries whole."

His gaze refocused as she touched his tip. Resolutely, he announced, "If you come with me back to the last town, I promise I will give you what you need."

He didn't feel guilty about playing on those words with her wires crossed. He would not violate her trust again, and no matter what he said when they fought, he did love her.

She eagerly dressed when he requested it since he had "promised", and he packed. He grabbed the cat she couldn't think of, and then he gripped her tightly to teleport back. It was a short distance, and one in which he knew exactly where he was going to, unlike the childhood memories whose accuracy in the present he could not trust.

She twined amorously around him, and sighing again, he blinked out of the cave and back to the town, hoping he found those damnable berries.

...xxx...

Naryu and Mordred landed artfully side by side, graceful dragon necks arching, forked tongues flickering, tasting the air for any traces of the essence of the auras they had been tracking, Naryu also scenting for traces of familiar magic.

"It stops here for a bit," Mordred growled. "Should we search the perimeter?"

Naryu shook her great head no and nuzzled the snow with her silvery-blue snout. "They slept here. He stayed in his Bandersnatch form."

Her head rose and she scanned the surrounding scenery, sending out a few rings of smoke and ash. "There were others here."

Mordred rumbled a consent, adding, "Hunting party."

Naryu huffed her agreement and flapped her wings, sending flurries flying in all directions. Mordred shook off what spray had hit him, and with a wordless shared glance, the two rose into the air again, Naryu shooting like a comment in the direction she could sense Loki had flown with Jane; she felt the pull of a portal nearby, one she would take to follow them directly if they had used it. Mordred glided after her, a navy blur against the sky.

...xxx...

Darcy ran smack dab into Thor, managing to hold onto her bottle of spirits. She stumbled backward, almost tripping, but he caught her by the shoulders, steadying her.

"Darcy?" He spoke softly, sounding confused but also concerned. "What has happened? Tell me."

Apparently he could tell the difference between "my-eyes-are-red-because-I'm-plastered" red, swollen, and puffy and "I-just-cried-them-out" red, swollen, and puffy.

Without thought or pause she lurched forward clumsily and clung to him, burying her head and face into his shoulder, sniffing. It took her a long while to choke the words free, and when they did they tore out of her in a scarily calm rasp filled with unshed pain. "Both my mom and my dad died today."

A jolt went through Thor. Speechless, all he could do was cradle her to his chest, absentmindedly beginning to stroke her hair.

Darcy wept softly against his shirt, her tears seeping through the fabric. Thor's strong arms felt like cables grounding her. She let off one last wrenching sob, then leant her head back and whimpered, "I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Will you stay up and talk with me? I don't...I can't be alone right now."

Thor patted her back soothingly. "Of course."

He made a quick decision and led her to Sigyn's room, one arm around her shoulders to keep her walking straight. If anyone could help, Sigyn could. He knocked twice, waiting, and while Sigyn approached from the other side, Darcy took another long swig.

Sigyn answered just as the bottle tipped back downward. She barely looked them over once, instead unquestioningly opening her door as wide as it would go. Thor shot her a grateful glance at Sigyn over Darcy's head as she ducked into the warm room he knew so well. Sign locked the door behind them, leaning against it while she watched Thor gently guide Darcy into one of the squashy brown chairs close to the hearth.

"Something happened."

Darcy groaned and flopped back into the cushions in it, and Thor plucked the bottle out of her limp fingers as she began using her hands to speak.

"Their fucking cruise ship sank. They survive that but then the damn lifeboat sinks, too, and they drown." She eyed Thor a bit irritatedly, reaching for the bottle. "They never learned how to swim."

Thor held it out of her reach, an arm out to keep her from it. "No more spirits," he said sternly, reaching to set it on the table. Sigyn sat down near them. She seemed to be searching for something to say. "She means her mother and father," Thor supplied in a hushed tone."

"You have suffered a great and terrible loss, then," Sigyn said, turning her focus onto Darcy. "But you will not find relief in a bottle, only numbness and misery." She extended her hand and covered Darcy's with it, giving her an encouraging squeeze.

Thor's heart swelled. What would he do without one of his dearest friends? Sigyn the compassionate and ever caring. As he thought it, she stood and went to a trunk in the corner, returning with blankets.

"Stay as long as you need to," she instructed, placing them near Thor and Darcy.

"Going somewhere?" Thor inquired. Sigyn pointed to her bedchamber. "I have had a long day and I trust you are more familiar with her than I. You know how to be a better comforter."

Thor frowned, squinting at her. "You are not well yourself. Why did I not see it before?"

Sigyn crossed her arms over her chest. "Even if I were unwell-which I am not-I would guess, in theory, that I hid it from you because you were troubled enough."

"In theory," Thor echoed, frowning, but she merely graced him another soft smile, retreating to her own nest.

Her door closed soundlessly, and Thor returned his attention to Darcy. She had gone and filched the bottle and nearly drained it. Thor snatched it away furiously, throwing it into the hearth fire, sending the flames leaping high into the air.

"Hey!" Darcy exclaimed, and she whirled, beating on his chest with her fists. "Why the hell did you do that? It makes it hurt less!"

She fell against him with a defeated sob escaping. Thor hugged her again. Darcy's lip quivered and she crawled closer, snuggling against him. "Jerk," she mumbled, but she stayed in place, and soon she was snoring peacefully. Thor picked her up and laid her awkwardly across the sofa, sliding a pillow underneath her head and draping a blanket over her. He sat down in the chair directly across from her, watching her side rise and fall, his expression troubled. He brushed stray hair out of her face, his hand lingering, feeling rather helpless and thinking that he had felt that way far too often recently.

...xxx...

Loki placed a second berry against Jane's lips. "Open your mouth and eat it whole."

Jane giggled pervertedly, easing her lips over both the berry and his fingers, eyebrows raised suggestively as she swirled her tongue against the pads of his fingertips. She made the most unholy sucking sound and then plucked the berry away with her teeth. Loki, scowling, wiped his fingers on his pants and reached into the basket for another berry, all the while watching to make sure Jane ate properly. They sat in a little valley between two of the rolling hills.

He wondered how many would make the effects of the first wear away, and kept wondering until nearly half a basket later, when Jane suddenly froze, going ramrod straight mid-swallow of her latest mouthful. Her dilated pupils retracted and she shook her head violently, jerking onto her side. He eased his arms around her to lift her onto transfigured boulders made comfy cushions and plush pillows, untangling himself from the hold. Jane's eyes snapped open, and she blurted, terrified, "What does it mean if I still want you?"

Loki shuddered and slowly began inching the hem of her dress up just a bit, his hand rising to caress her thigh. His jaw clenched and unclenched as he regarded her.

"How badly?" he whispered, tense.

Jane squirmed but stilled, rolling onto her back, propped up by her elbows and the heels of her feet, eyes wide. The wild light had left her eyes, replaced by fear. "Why would I still want you after it's over, Loki?"

Loki's Adam's-apple bobbed nervously. "It would mean," he whispered, staring at the exposed creamy skin of her legs, "that deep down you already desired me before you ate them...that it was a hype but not a manufactured feeling."

Jane shivered, her hand flying to her heart. "So you mean that I basically have some sort of convoluted feelings and they manifested into-into how I acted earlier?" Her cheeks grew blood red. Loki boldly pushed the material around her waist and leaned to kiss her hip, watching her from underneath his lashes. To both their surprise, she arched instantly under that innocent tenderness alone. A whimper dropped from her lips, a plea soon following. "Please."

He sat back with a sigh. "Maybe if you weren't still high off of those," he remarked, tracing the outline of her underwear.

"I'm just as confused as you are, believe me," Jane retorted. His lips quirked into a quick smile that morphed into its smug devious counterpart. "My Jane wants me."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Clearly we established that." As he started some clever quip, she flashed upward like lightening, pushing him onto his back with uncharacteristic strength. Straddling him for the second time, she watched the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he stared up at her. "Be careful how you play with me, Jane. I only have so much control."

"And much more passion, I'd wager," she murmured, caressing his face. He closed his eyes, half of him preparing another warning and half of him wanting to let her have her way with him.

He felt her fingers go to his shirt buttons, slowly opening them-there were only three. Her small hand running over his chest had him purring again, and her lips descended on his collarbone. His hands rose and gently tugged her away. His eyes opened. "I must know...are you simply doing this because of the berries?"

He saw her head tilt, her pinky tracing her lips thoughtfully. "I don't think so," she sighed at last, eyes conflicted as ever. His right hand left her side and tenderly cupped her face. "You would give me of all people permission to touch you in that way, Jane?"

Jane drew in a shaky breath. She didn't know what she felt anymore. It seemed all too soon, but that didn't stop her from pulling away from his gentle grasp, or her hands going to the bottom of her dress and pulling it over her head, which elicited a sharp gasp from Loki.

"Jane-" he hissed in warning, but Jane gave him a decisive stare, grinding down onto him. Loki whimpered and moaned, no longer attempting real speech for at least that moment.

He drew her into a deep kiss, still halfway testing her, probing around in her mouth with his tongue. He flipped them carefully, stripping off his shirt, and supported himself on his heels, staring down at her lying almost bare in the grass. "If only you were mine," he whispered, tracing a circle around one nipple. Jane trembled. "Why? What would you do to me? Differently I mean."

Loki rose to his knees and slid his pants off of his hips, twisting to get them off completely. Jane watched, scrutinizing his form.

He ran his hands up her legs to her waist, leaning to kiss her other hip. "I could certainly show you instead of just fucking you senseless." Jane quivered at those words, said against her abdomen just above her panty line. Her hips lifted and he drug them off ever so slowly, parting her legs and staring. "Anyone could see us," Jane suddenly realized, musing dismissively in the next second, "But you've already fixed that, haven't you?"

"For all intents and purposes, we do not exist to the world beyond the bounds of my wards."

"Then show me how you feel," Jane prompted. "Make me understand...Don't hold back."

Loki closed his eyes again at the request. His nostrils flared, he stilled; he hooked her legs over his shoulders sightlessly, gingerly bringing her closer by her hips.

And then shortly after he had Jane writhing in pleasure, stabbing at her doubt.

He crooked two fingers upwards, angling them against her walls as he took her clit, still slightly swollen and throbbing from earlier, between his teeth, sucking. He skimmed his tongue briefly over her outer lips, dipping it inside of her. Jane grasped the only thing nearby since she had abandoned the cushions and pillows-grass, shredding it with claw-like fingers as he flitted in and out, up and down the length of her slit, massaging her clit with it. He pressed her clit between his puckered lips, getting a yelp from her with one flick and a slow follow-up stroke. Whimpering, Jane whispered his name, and he inserted another finger at a different angle. He played her walls like an instrument, drawing out higher and higher notes from her, a crescendo of her keening that ended in a warbled scream muffled by Jane herself despite the reassurance that no one but Loki could hear her.

He gave her thigh a lingering kiss, and then laid her limp legs down and sat back, watching her watch him, her eyes filled with heady warmth and surprise. She stretched languidly, observing as he licked his lips and cleaned his fingers similarly.

"What did you taste?" she blurted awkwardly.

Loki seemed surprised, but crawled over her, bringing her into a long kiss that involved his letting her taste herself. He broke off, panting, and began peppering her upper body with wet kisses, his hands shaking as he ghosted his palms over her breasts.

"Would you still want me, I wonder," he pondered aloud, "if I did not wear this skin."

"I'm shocked that I want you at all," Jane admitted softly, "but what do you mean?" She kissed the side of his neck before he drew away, and suddenly she knew what he meant before he did it.

He stared down at her, red eyes desperate and vulnerable, and Jane rose up to kiss him. "Does your love change?"

"No." His eyes narrowed. "I wish I could ask the same of you, but I know very well that you do not love me. You have made it abundantly clear."

"But I could," Jane blurted, instantly regretting it when she saw hope spark to life in his gaze. He pressed his chilly body to hers, his cold mouth taking in a nipple. The cool radiating off of him took most of his work away from making her nipples erect; they hardened beneath his tongue almost instantly. Gasping, Jane found a thin frost gathered beneath her back, radiating out from them as Loki tentatively rubbed his penis along her labia.

"Do you still want this?" he whispered. "Even with me like this."

Jane kept her eyes locked on his, feeling around until she could grasp him, ignoring his hiss and gasp when she did, and pressed his head to her entrance. "Cold feet?" she teased, trying to hide her resurfacing fear. Loki chuckled nervously, gliding into her. Jane's eyes widened. "What did you do?"

"Ridges," he shrugged, smirking. "A benefit of this form if no others exist."

Curiously, Jane inquired, "I must feel...well, good to you. All soft and warm, my skin clinging to you, molding really..."

Loki laughed. "Jane, do shut up while I still have my reason."

It was Jane's turn to laugh. "What reason?"

Smiling affectionately, he began rolling his hips against her, a mischievous smirk preceding a vicious thrust as he pulled out and slammed back in all of the way.

"Loki, I will make you pay for that," Jane warned.

"Oh? I would love to know how." His eyes were laughing at her, every movement slow and deliberate. Jane clung to him, pressing a desperate kiss to his neck as she whispered there, "I bet that all these ridges are are thin casing over nerve endings." She laved his pulse-point, watching him tremble, and traced the series of looping designs that converged there.

"Stop that," he hissed. Jane lifted a brow, grinning playfully. Gliding a hand over the planes of his chest, she inquired, "What, stop touching you? Are you sure you want that?"

"Yes," he snapped, then, "I mean no. Damn you."

Jane drug her nails gently over the lines crisscrossing his sides, and he gasped, his head falling onto her shoulder. He panted heavily, kissing the skin closest to him. Jane danced a ticklish touch along the inside of his arm. Her legs encircled his waist and held him close as she caressed his shoulders and back. He shuddered with every gentle touch. He lifted his head and sought out her mouth, clutching her to his chest.

"Let me..." He tried speaking, but Jane shushed him. She caressed his cheek, stroked his hair, and brought his ear near her lips. "Go lay on those pillows on your back- if you want me touching you, that is."

Loki swore profusely, pressing another kiss on her, and sat back, indecisive. "How will we get anything done if all you want to do is play?" he teased breathlessly. He smiled, leaning back over her, and led her into a long, slow kiss, starting into a half excited and half tender pace. "Perhaps next time," he amended. Jane found it more amusing than infuriating. "Do you always cheat?" Jane pondered, hooking her limbs around him once more.

"Only to ensure survival," he retorted. Jane laughed, but it stuck in her throat suddenly. "Why am I doing this?" she wondered aloud.

She stared at him helplessly, making Loki wonder if it had been the berries, after all. But then her vision cleared, though a slight frown remained, and she traced the spirals coiled on the surface of his chest over his heart. "You've changed something inside of me," she whispered, and then she threw herself into that moment before she could examine the realization too closely.

"Ah." He had forgotten about the side effects. He tried remembering what he meant to say to string it into something coherent as she continued her little touches all over, gripping him tightly with her knees.

"You can experience-" he moaned softly-"loss of past inhibitions"- he hissed, arching over her, shaking- "or being unable to restrain or ah-agh...resist your deepest impulses."

"And I bet it just makes you all warm inside," Jane wavered, "because it means deep down on some level that I've wanted to jump your bones, or at least thought about it."

"As I said before." He sounded smug again. Jane got her revenge by holding his hips in place when they next jolted back and prepared to return. She reached between them, sliding more of him out, and drug a vengeful fingernail down the thickest ridge.

Loki nearly collapsed on top of her, and the scream she got out of him made her want to repeat the action. He bit into her shoulder gently, a warning, but she did it again-and again, a multitude of agains until she knew she had better stop before he came from that alone. She stopped holding him back, stole a kiss, and pressed another to his ear before whispering into it, "I told you I would get you back, didn't I?"

She slammed upward, winding her hands into his hair.

He responded by being everywhere at once, touching her hair and her face, closer than before, moving his head so that he could touch their foreheads together. "I do love you," he whispered faintly, almost sounding hoarse.

"I know," Jane acknowledged as his movements became more erratic and less concentrated. "I know."

She whimpered then, and it seemed to encourage him. "Please don't hurt me again...Please don't fail me."

She felt tears fall on her breasts, and registered with a jolt that they were his.

"Don't cry," she whispered, "Please don't cry, Loki."

"Love me," he pleaded, "Jane, I need..."

"I know," Jane whispered, "You need me."

He let go after that, and she held him through it, trying to comfort him. "I forgive you," she choked, felt herself let go, too. She repeated it when they had both settled into a quiet peace, unmoving.

"I forgive you."

A/N: I sincerely apologize for any typos or erros that I likely missed. I will revise them later when I may.