Ren

"You came back?" My sweater hung loosely off of her shoulders. It was torn in a couple of places and I could see her pale skin through the holes. Now that I had a name for her it should have been easier to sit and get to know her, but so far all I could tell was that she was in one of her nicer moods. "I'll cry if you don't learn to stay awake."

"You left." I said dumbly watching her eat a strawberry.

"I'll come back." She was nonchalant and that irritated me. This was my vision of her though. Somewhere within me there was a collection of memories, she was made up of them. This too thin girl who even when she was in a good mood, she could piss me off. "I always come back to you, don't I." It wasn't a question but a fact she sounded irritated by. "I'm pathetic that way."

Just like that my own irritation dissipated leaving only the desire to comfort her. Reassure her that I loved her and needed her. Let her know that I would always come back to her too. I didn't do any of that though because I was awake again. Abruptly and without warning I was in my hospital room with Yasu, Takumi, and my doctor. They were speaking over me in hushed tones but stopped talking when they saw me awake. My doctor moved closer to me with that damned flashlight of his to examine me.

Everything was done at a careful and meticulous pace as I woke up and fell back asleep throughout the day. One time they allowed me to try eating, another time I woke up while the nurses were redressing my left hand. I met all sorts of new, yet familiar people the first few times I awoke but the face I anxiously waited for didn't show up. No one spoke of her and I never stayed awake long enough to know if she had been coming and going. I hadn't even managed staying awake long enough to establish what year and month it was, or at least I couldn't recall anyone filling me in on that vital information. As time passed, and I was unsure of how much time or if I was waking up minutes or hours later, I had grown to resent the pretty woman. Her kisses still lingered on my skin though and slowly I drove myself crazy with a sort of yearning hatred that made me wish I could stay asleep forever.

That wish was not granted as I began to stay up longer and longer. Nurses woke me on purpose to check my pain level and inform me when some one would be visiting.

When the end of the day came Reira, sickly thin and pale, was the only one sitting with me. I remembered her right away but not that I had joined her band. She could tell me nothing of my supposed wife's whereabouts. I wasn't convinced that I was the marrying type and there was no way any woman was good enough to convince me to settle down. She wasn't even my type, rail thin with extremely dark hair but I think I had always preferred large breasts and fairer hair. I had liked Reira but I didn't wake up married to her or anything close, I woke up to a pair of full lips that I couldn't stop thinking about and eyes which haunted me every time I closed mine.

Reira shook her head, "Nana is the love of your life. You spoke of her constantly while we were touring and recording. She turned you into a love-struck romantic instead of the full of yourself playboy you used to be."

"Full of myself!" I couldn't help wondering if that was why she went after Yasu and not me. A knock at the door interrupted our conversation nearly pissing me off until I saw who was there.

The corners of my lips turned up seeing the slight figure standing in the doorway. I wasn't consciously happy but something about her made me happy even though I was confused and in pain and a little pissed at her for staying away for so long.

Her head was bowed low, eyes fixed on the floor. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," She took a few steps into the room but didn't look up at me. Like a timid kitten worried she would be chased away.

Awkward silence stretched between the three of us until standing up, Reira excused herself, "I should go back to my room so Mari doesn't have to wait any longer." Hastily she gathered her things and rushed to the door.

"Careful the mosquitoes have been sneaking in and swarming the halls." There was something wrong with the warning, it didn't sound threatening yet somehow it was unfriendly. Reira bowed her head and Nana gave her a steely look before saying goodbye.

"Goodnight, Reira," I called to my friend not noticing until too late the wounded expression on Nana's face. She glimpsed at me, an odd mechanic look before settling her gaze on the window behind me.

"Nana, come here." Speaking still caused me pain but it was worth it if I could touch her again. Her head hadn't raised to look like I had wanted. "Yasu said that you're my wife." The simple sentence caused her to flinch as if I'd hit her. "Nobu," again she flinched when I started to speak, "has been telling me all sorts of stories. And Hachi was in here with Shin." It was the names I realized. Every time I said some one's name she'd react. "Of course I have no real idea who they are."

She looked up then, eyes shining with hope, "No one? Not even Reira?"

No, I knew Reira, the one girl Yasu hadn't let me have. The crush I had on her then was still there when I woke up, and when she walked into my room my heart had skipped. I couldn't tell Nana that but unfortunately I hadn't needed to. She could see it on my face, my memories of Reira were from years ago but they were still there. In fact aside from Yasu, Reira was the only person I had a clear image of in my head. It made sense to me that I'd join her band even if I knew nothing about our band.

"Why is it always her?" I thought I'd heard her whisper but her face turned cold and hard like stone. A stiff bow and a neutral smile did nothing to convince me she was my type of wife. "You need your rest now. Tomorrow Yasu will stop by to go over things with you. You know, now that you're awake it'll be up to you whether you stay in the hospital or go home. Reira has to stay here for a few more weeks so you'll no doubt choose to stay here. Don't worry, I get it now, I'll just stay out of your way."

"Wait, Nana!" She was gone and the only thing I could do was sit there staring after her.

Watching her walk away hurt worse than my body.

Nana

I ran out of his room but didn't have the strength to run down the quiet hall. Pressing my back to the wall I slid to the floor and hugged my knees. If he had woken up and forgotten everyone except me I would have been happy. Had he come to with no memories to speak of, I would have been accepting. If Reira had been the only one who never existed in his mind, I would have been satisfied. Instead it was me who had been erased so thoroughly, it felt as if I meant nothing to him.

Yasu had berated Takumi for all of this, blaming him for being unable to keep Reira happy, but I blamed Reira. If she hadn't run off like a spoiled princess, Ren wouldn't have gone after her. His memories would still be intact and his body wouldn't be burnt. Then there was the paparazzi, they should have felt so guilty that showing their faces in public was no longer an option. But they sat in the hall with me, not as reporters, as the concerned citizens who had found his crashed car. Hours must have passed with me curled up by the wall because they only came in the early morning.

"If you think I'm letting either of you in there, you both must..." I stopped speaking at the maddening sight of that frail princess walking towards us. "This room is off limits to you."

"He's my friend. I only want to see him for a moment." Sweet and soft spoken as always, but she was sorely mistaken if she thought her act worked on me.

"I don't care what you want." Mustering all the calmness I could I spoke gently mimicking her sickeningly sweet voice. "My husband was in a coma. He crashed his car and fractured his left leg, his right arm was broken in so many places he may never be able to use it again. The whole left side of his body is covered in burns, including his all too precious hand. He can barely remember who he is." The frustration was entering my voice so I turned to the reporters who were trying to sneak behind me into the room. They jumped and sheepishly walked back to their seats. "Because of you three, I nearly lost him! So forgive me, Princess, if I don't give a damn about what you want."

"He'll want to see me, we're fr..."
"What fuck buddies? He's mine, nothing that might have happened between you will ever change that. I'm his wife, not you. You were busy being fawned over by Takumi while Ren was in there fighting for his life. Why are you always going after men you have no right to, my husband, Ha chi's husband, the under aged boy who shall remain nameless. Bravo on being consistent." She was quick to shed tears and the reporters were quick to offer her comfort. I didn't care, 'let them call me a bitch some more.' I thought but then Reira brushed them aside a hard glint in her eyes.

Such cruel words sounded like a joke coming from her, she didn't have the acidic voice it took to make, "he doesn't even know who you are," sound like a vicious retort. Even so the words were a stab in my heart, but it was my fault for pushing her buttons. Instantly contrite she began to apologize but having been reminded of why I was in the hallway I held up my hands to silence her.

"Right, I forgot I was giving up. Go right on in and claim your prize Reira. You broke him down, you fix him. I'm done with that sell out."

Later that day search misquoted my words to make me out to be a villain. According to them I had abandoned Ren when he needed me. He could no longer play guitar so he was useless to me and my celebrity status.

Sometime later that week they reported that I had moved on with one of the actors in the drama I was in. And in the weeks to follow I was linked to so many different men even Yasu was starting to question my loyalty to Ren.

"He's been asking for you. Your drama aired it's first episode last night and he asked the nurses if they could record it for him." Yasu had cornered me in my dressing room.

"That's my Ren the charmer. He can get anyone to do anything for him." Pretending not to care I continued to touch up my make up.

"Do you even care how he's doing?" I did but thinking about him only made my heart ache worse so I avoided the topic as often as I could. Taking a step closer Yasu studied my eyes in the mirror. "I don't know what to think of you anymore. Some times I find myself agreeing with those magazines, then there are the pictures. Pictures of you out partying of all things while Ren rots away in bed. He won't get up and try, Nana, and every time the door opens he perks up hoping for you, but of course it's never you."

"I wasn't partying, I was being polite to my costars who invited me. Besides, you don't know that he's hoping it's me." Why couldn't Yasu understand? Ren had abandoned me not the other way around. "He doesn't even know me."

"But he wants to." At my silence Yasu shook his head. "Come see Ren. I don't think I can save him."

I was alone again before I knew it and Yasu stopped coming around to check on me after that. It didn't take him long before he no longer called or emailed me either. He stopped begging me to go see Ren, Hachi stopped casually bringing him up, and Shin focused on his own career rather than speak to me about anything. But I didn't walk on egg shells around any of them choosing instead to laugh and smile and if Ren was ever mentioned a few snide remarks were enough to end the conversation. I refused to deny any rumors, and I even started a scandal or two when I was told not to. Nobu and Mai denied them for me and made excuses. I laughed both of them off when they advised me to slow down and rest.

No one was allowed to know how completely miserable I was, or how unhappy a chore singing had become for me. The painful task of breathing exhausted me too much to hit the right notes. I couldn't remember my lines or the lyrics but work was all I had left.

It was Reira of all people who finally convinced me to go see him.

"You know Ren wrote that song about you." During a practice of a new song Gaia had given to me,shewaltzed in. "Gaia bought it for a very generous price. Since he might never write another song it was a highly coveted piece of work. Cookie needs money so they offered it to the company they knew would pay the most. Isn't it just so perfect, Nana Osaki singing Ren's last love song."

"Reira," I acknowledged her curtly drinking from my bottle of what I pretended was water. "You've gained weight. That's a relief, I thought for sure you'd sneeze one day and break all your frail bones. So glad you won't being dying on us." But I wasn't sorry at all, I was morbidly disappointed by her health. She slapped the bottle out of my hand splashing the clear liquid on the both of us. "What the hell!"

Her tiny hands shoved at me in frustration. They had no effect on me however, and only served to piss her off more.

"Do you know who sits with Ren all day, no one! Not one damn person because he's banned everyone from visiting him. He only wants to see you. " I scoffed in her angry red face.
"Whatever, I'm so sure your sweet lover threw you out of his room. Men always send away the girl they almost get themselves killed over." If she hadn't run away would Ren ever have come to get me? I wondered then, "why is it that when you run he chases after you?" For some reason I couldn't hide my pain in front of her.

She shook her head and the motion reminded me of Yasu. "To you it's just another song, but Ren would have wanted you to hear it." I cringed at yet another reminder that she was closer to him than I was. A sigh passed her lips, no longer dry and cracked from malnutrition. "Takumi made an announcement today. It seems Ren has decided that Trapnest should begin searching for his replacement. He's adamant that we don't disband and well I've never been good for anything other than singing. How pathetic am I, even now I care that without my voice I'm useless to Takumi." Our eyes locked then. In an odd way she understood me better than any of my friends.

"So he's all alone in that place?" Why had no one else told me he was refusing guests? Looking down at the song lyrics I decided that it wouldn't hurt to go check up on him.