Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin (Attack on Titan). This fic is written for your enjoyment only. It takes place after episode 22 but slightly before episode 23 as the retreating Survey Corps leaves titan territory to return to the walls after failing to capture the female titan and sustaining heavy casualties. This particular scene is set just before the party returns.

Regrets and Realization

It was a beautiful, warm summer night as the stars shone brilliantly in the heavens with not a cloud to obstruct the view and the full moon blessing the land with her beautiful soft light. There had not been a night like this in over a year and under normal circumstances, many would find it enjoyable but to the retreating members of the Survey Corps, it was to be a night of mourning with no one able to enjoy its beauty. They had just left titan territory and was expected to arrive at the walls by tomorrow but no one was in any hurry to get back for they knew as soon as they did, they would face the displeasure of the citizens as well as the government for their failure.

Which was why Corporal Levi Rivialle ordered his troops to set camp that night so they could hold an informal mass funeral service to mourn and honor the fallen soldiers whose bodies they were forced to abandon while being pursued by some stray titans for they may not get the chance once they returned if they were dismantled. And while it was a very difficult order to carry out, no one blamed Levi because they knew that as a commander, the corporal had to do whatever it took to ensure the survival of his remaining soldiers, especially Eren's. If they had tried to keep the bodies, it was very likely everyone would have perished and no one back home would ever know what became of them or why. In the end, Levi decided it was better that some of his troops returned then none at all. The way he saw it, the dead wasn't going to come back either way and hanging onto their bodies wasn't worth the risk of getting everyone killed.

After setting camp and lighting the fire, the able-bodied survivors focused on treating the wounded as well as preparing food and Mikasa took it upon herself to care for Eren who had to be transported by carriage due to his injuries making it impossible for him to ride a horse. Fortunately, the brief carriage ride gave Eren sufficient time to heal enough to move on his own so he did not need to be carried off once they settled but he was still weak and in no condition to fight so forcing himself to swallow his pride, the youth allowed his foster sister to tend to his needs as he sat on a blanket near the campfire. While Eren was still capable of at least feeding himself, Mikasa still insisted on spoon-feeding him, something she had not done since he fell sick when they were children, but not being in the mood to argue after his loss to the mysterious female titan, he allowed her to do as she wished since the other Survey Corps survivors were too busy grieving or tending their own injuries to even notice, let alone care.

"How are you feeling, Eren?" Mikasa asked after she had finished feeding him the last of the soup in the bowl she was holding. There was plenty of food to go around since their numbers have diminished, not that they would have minded going a little hungry from food shortage if their fallen comrades had returned alive, but there was no point in thinking about that now. Normally, Eren hated it when Mikasa treated him like a child who needed to be cared for but tonight he was actually grateful for her attention. Losing his comrades in Levi's special ops squad made the youth realize that he should show his appreciation for the people who were dear to him since he never knew if they would still be there tomorrow. And while he did have faith in Armin's and Mikasa's resourcefulness and ability to survive, his experience with the female titan and witnessing the deaths of the special ops squad members also made Eren realize that anything could happen in battle and even the most well thought-out plans could fail or backfire.

"Honestly, I feel awful. And I don't mean physically; you know I always recover quickly, especially when you are here with me." His eyes were red from crying but there were no more tears in them now, having shed all he physically could for the friends he had lost only hours before.

Mikasa frowned. "Are you talking about the others? Eren, please don't think like that. I know that you blame yourself for their deaths but even if you had transformed back then, there is still no guarantee you could have saved them and you might have gotten killed trying. You're lucky Corporal Rivialle was there for us since it was unlikely I could have rescued you without his help." As she said this, Mikasa realized the irony of her words for she never thought she'd see the day that she would actually express gratitude to Levi but she had to admit that they both owed the corporal their lives, Eren twice over. And while it was not like her to be so reckless in battle, Mikasa had made herself completely vulnerable to the female titan by charging forward to attack without considering possible repercussions for she was an opponent like no other and had Levi not been there, she might have gotten herself killed and the monster would have likely gotten away with Eren as her hostage.

Normally, Eren would have made a sharp retort to such a comment but held his tongue because he knew Mikasa was right; his defeat was the result of him being unable to control his rage at the loss of his friends and comrades and he was lucky that Mikasa and Levi were able to track him down in time before the female titan got away. Why the creature went through such great lengths to capture him alive, he had no idea nor did he care to find out.

"You may be right, Mikasa. But I guess we'll never know that for sure. But enough about me, how are you feeling? Have you been hurt? I know Armin sustained a head injury but he's fortunate its not fatal. And I also heard Corporal Rivialle broke his leg as well."

"I'm fine; I've only got a few minor cuts, scrapes, and bruises." Mikasa answered as she tried to avoid Eren's eyes and remembered that the only reason she hadn't gotten killed or seriously hurt was because Levi took the brunt of the female titan's attack for her so it was she who was actually at fault for the corporal's broken leg. But Eren didn't need to know that so Mikasa thought it best not to mention it. Plus she knew he wouldn't be thrilled if he found out she had been foolish enough to try and take on the titan that killed Levi's entire special ops squad on her own, even if it was for purpose of rescuing him. But then again, Mikasa had always been reckless when it came to Eren, even though she normally exercised more caution under other circumstances.

Eren looked at Mikasa curiously as he sensed there was something she wasn't telling him. He had known her since they were children and they had lived in the same house before joining the military together so he was able to read her as well as she read him. But whatever it was, he decided that it was probably better not to pursue it, at least for the moment when there were more important things to worry about and the two found themselves looking at each other in awkward silence with both nervous and not knowing what to say to the other. Fortunately (and ironically), it was Corporal Rivialle who rescued them yet again as he took notice of and approached the pair, leaning on his crutch as he tried his best to avoid putting weight on his broken leg.

"Good evening, you two. How are you faring?" Levi asked politely as he maintained the usual neutral expression on his face that made it impossible to tell what he was thinking or feeling. Not one person who knew the corporal ever recalled seeing him crack a smile and few could even imagine it. But Eren and Mikasa could still see the concern in his eyes for them both. Levi had never told anyone, neither his superiors nor subordinates, that in his youth he once had two adoptive younger siblings, a brother and a sister who would have been the same age as Eren and Mikasa had they not died in early youth because of his failure to protect them. For some reason, when he met the young pair before him, it made the corporal feel as though his siblings had returned to him and he also felt responsible for them as such even though he would never in any way let them know that.

"I am alright, sir" Mikasa answered "But it looks like Eren might need a little more time before he is completely recovered and fit for duty again."

"I see… I am glad. Mikasa, would you mind if I have a moment alone with Eren?"

The girl nodded, grateful that the corporal was giving her an excuse to leave her awkward situation with her foster brother. Getting up, she saluted her commanding officer. "Of course, sir. I will go check on Armin and the others" Mikasa answered before leaving him and Eren.

As soon as Mikasa was out of sight, Levi stepped a little closer and Eren prepared to stand up and salute him but the corporal gently placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Its alright, Eren, that won't be necessary. Be at ease and remain as you are for you will need to conserve your energy if you are to recover quickly."

The youth hesitated for a moment before giving in and maintained his sitting position on the blanket as he leaned his back against a rock while looking up at his superior who remained standing before him.

"Yes, sir, I understand. What is it you wish to speak to me about?"

"I would like to know how you are feeling, for starters."

Eren sighed. "I feel a lot better now, thank you. I was talking with Mikasa and she told me what happened after I was taken. I am grateful to you for helping her rescue me."

Levi's expression softened. "Its alright, Eren, you need not thank me for doing my duty. Commander Smith has ordered me to protect you and that is precisely what I have done and will continue to do until he tells me otherwise."

Eren looked at his superior curiously upon hearing those words. Like with Mikasa, he sensed that Levi was not telling the whole truth even though he did not know the corporal anywhere near as well as he knew his foster sister. Perhaps his time in the Survey Corps has made him better at reading people but he wasn't sure. Not knowing what else to say, Eren apologized.

"I understand, sir. And want you to know that I'm very sorry…about Petra and the others of your squad. They died because of me, of my incompetence, and I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me someday."

Upon hearing Petra's name, Levi frowned and Eren regretted mentioning her as soon as he noticed. He had always known that Petra thought of Levi as more then a commanding officer but wasn't sure if Levi himself felt the same until he saw the neutral expression on the corporal's face collapse and became one of genuine sadness. Eren held his breath as he braced himself for his superior's displeasure but to his surprise, Levi did not get angry. Instead, he shook his head and said "No, Eren. You need not apologize. It was their duty to protect you, not the other way around. They all knew the risks when they chose to join the Survey Corps, as do you and I. We all have to die sometime, its only a matter of when, where, and how. And when it is our time, there is nothing we can do to avoid it."

Eren finally let out the breath he had been holding, relieved that Levi was not offended by his mentioning of Petra and the other fallen members of his squad. "I see…" He wasn't sure what else he could say and remained silent as he took in the corporal's words. Since this conversation was going nowhere, Levi decided to change the subject.

"Eren… if there is anyone you should be grateful to, its Mikasa, not me. I am sure she did not tell you this, but she disobeyed my direct order and went after the female titan on her own in order to rescue you. I myself was not sure if you were even alive but she never lost faith and I am grateful for her decision even if I did not agree with it at the time. I normally do not tolerate insubordination from my soldiers but in her case and yours, I will make an exception this time though I would strongly prefer it not happen again."

"I apologize for her actions, sir, but I'm afraid there's not really much I can do to control them if she won't even listen to you, her superior."

"On the contrary, Eren, I think you can. More than anyone. I notice almost everything she does seems to revolve around you. I have also been observing both of you very closely for some time now and realize that you and Mikasa are in fact, equally skilled in combat; it is only Mikasa's ability to better control her emotions in battle that gives her an advantage over you. She is only reckless where you are concerned so I've deduced that as long as you exercise more caution, she will too."

"What are you trying to say, sir?"

Levi sighed as he turned his back to Eren as if he did not want the youth to see the expression on his face. "In this world, there are many like me who have killed their emotions as a result of the tragedies in their lives and it is a weakness, not a strength. And because of my weakness, Petra died thinking I didn't love her. Don't make the same mistake, Eren. That is the best advice I can give you…"

Eren found himself speechless as he watch Levi walk away. He had never expected the corporal to be so open and honest about his personal feelings, especially to him of all people; Levi was also the last person he would ever expect to offer him comfort or love advice for that matter, and the way he spoke made Eren feel as though the corporal was speaking to him not as a subordinate, but as a friend or a younger brother.

"Eren? Is everything ok?"

The youth was snapped out of his thoughts as he saw his foster sister approach the campfire and take a seat beside him on the blanket.

"Yes, of course. I was speaking to the corporal and he left just before you came back."

"I see…what did you talk about?" Mikasa asked curiously.

Not wanting her to know the nature of his conversation with Levi, Eren simply said "Nothing much. He just told me he wanted me to be more careful next time since I might not be so lucky if I were to be captured by a titan again, especially that one."

"I see… I spoke with Armin and he told me that Corporal Rivialle plans to hold an informal mass funeral service for our fallen comrades before we retire for the evening. You don't have to participate if you don't want to; I'm sure I can come up with some excuse for you if the corporal asked."

Eren shook his head. "No, Mikasa, I have to pay my respects just as much as the rest of you. I was not able to save Petra and the others so this is the least I can do for them as well as the rest of the fallen. I will be fine so please don't worry about me."

Mikasa sighed. "Very well. The service will be in about an hour. If you plan to attend, please try to straighten out your uniform and look as presentable as you can."

"Of course, Mikasa. The same goes for you as well." His foster sister nodded and said nothing more as she stood up and left him to prepare.

Later that night, they attended the funeral service as planned. Eren and Mikasa stood side by side, holding hands as they and the rest of their surviving comrades listened in silence to Corporal Rivialle's speech and again he managed to surprise everyone with his moving words of respect and appreciation for their efforts as well as his tribute to the fallen. After the service was over and everyone retired to their tents, Eren found himself staying up a bit later then everyone else as he laid next to Mikasa who was already fast asleep. It was fortunate that their uniforms were comfortable enough to sleep in once the 3DMG was removed but it wasn't physical discomfort that kept him awake, it was Levi's words to him earlier that evening and Eren was afraid that he understood them all too well.

As he finally drifted off into sleep, the corporal's words played themselves in his mind once again.

Because of my weakness, Petra died thinking I didn't love her. Don't make the same mistake, Eren. That is the best advice I can give you…

No, I will not make that mistake. Not ever again…Thank you, heichou, for reminding me…

A/N: So this is my third drabble in my 'Devotion' saga. I hope my readers find my portrayal of Levi IC and believable enough. He may be a man of little expression and few words as well as outwardly cold but I do believe he really cares for all his subordinates, even Eren and Mikasa.