The impossible, Hiccup had decided, liked to set aside time to victimize the innocent. Either that, or it was just extremely bored and took his sorry soul as an easy target.

Toothless had lost some of his chattiness, but was still examining his new body, now more calmly than before. He didn't pay any attention to Hiccup as the young Viking began pacing around the cove, grabbing at his hair and trying to figure out what in all the nine realms he was supposed to do next.

Taking Toothless back to the village was an inevitability. There was no way anyone could survive out here at night, much less naked, much less as someone who'd never been a human before. And yet, there wasn't any good way to bring Toothless back to Berk in his current state. Nudity aside, he couldn't walk. His body was in fine shape and Hiccup had no doubt that his muscles were strong enough to walk and run far faster than he'd ever managed, but Toothless simply hadn't had time to learn the proper coordination.

Hiccup's stomach noisily reminded him of the icing on the cake: neither of them had eaten anything since breakfast.

He felt like he'd hit a dead end when he finally sighed and stopped pacing. He turned to look at Toothless, who was moving his fingers and examining them carefully, picking blades of grass and dissecting them with his fingernails. The wonder with which the newly-turned human admired his own fine-motor skills was enough to bring a small smile to Hiccup's face, despite it all. Toothless only looked up when Hiccup had sat back down beside him.

"We need to get back to the village sometime, you know," he told the dragon –er, human. Toothless looked somewhat frightened at the prospect.

"But… Vikingr, Toothless! Wanting dragon back."

"I know, bud, but we can't just… leave you here and wait for your scales to grow back."

Toothless picked at the grass with a bashful, mopey look. "Going back to beings with othern dragorn… Is being… what word… embarrassings."

Hiccup pursed his lips, understanding but knowing he couldn't do anything about what they needed to do. "I know, and I'm sorry, but you'll freeze out here if we don't get back before sundown." He stood to his feet, and Toothless watched him with big eyes. "I'm going back to the house to get some food – and some clothes for you. And…" He paused. A vision ran through his head, of the two of them after dinner, after dressing Toothless decently, of Hiccup trying to drag an uncoordinated Toothless back to the Village. Toothless was at least a foot taller than him, and Hiccup's false foot gave out as the larger man tried to lean on him for support. They were both doubly crippled before they reached the bridge into town. Coming out of the mental scenario, Hiccup shook his head. "And help," he told Toothless. "I'll get Astrid," the name came without thinking.

Toothless paled, obviously preoccupied again with his embarrassment, but Hiccup was surprised by a sudden show of maturity when Toothless simply nodded, and turned his attention back to the grass.

"I'm really sorry about this, bud." Hiccup felt the familiar urge to pet Toothless' head and scratch it comfortingly, but his hand twitched because Toothless was human and that just wasn't right. He grabbed at his trouser leg to quell the urge. "Don't worry, we'll figure something out." But of course Toothless looked so pitiful at that comment that Hiccup couldn't leave him before squeezing him reassuringly on the shoulder.

He left the cove without having to explain the unspoken 'don't go anywhere or do anything stupid' rule to Toothless, because they'd been through that routine before, albeit with more wings and scales and less concerns about Toothless freezing overnight. All the way back to the village, Hiccup's brain was working in overdrive, trying to figure out how in Hel he was going to explain the situation to Astrid, much less how they would negotiate all of this with his Father later on when they brought Toothless back to the house, much less how they'd explain it to the village when he started walking around the plaza.

Hiccup groaned and rubbed his face. He prayed to the gods that, whatever the Hel was going on wouldn't last for long. Something told him the gods weren't listening, that they might actually be the cause for his misery. It was probably Loki, Hiccup thought with some venom, and his own chagrin made him wonder if he'd be struck down right then and there.

He wasn't. So he trudged his way into town and snuck back into his house with little trouble. It wasn't quite dusk yet, and it was around this time his father was out having a tankard with Gobber. Hiccup didn't have any trouble pilfering a few loaves of bread and blocks of cheese (he really didn't feel like cooking, and besides, he was hopeless at starting fires without Toothless' flame). Finding clothes for Toothless was more of a challenge. He'd emptied every single drawer of clothes he owned before he found a pair of trousers that would have any hope of fitting the larger man, and even then Hiccup knew they'd be too short. Hiccup had grown quite a bit in the not quite three years since he'd first met Toothless, but he was still on the small side – he suspected he always would be. Still, at least he'd be able to get Toothless into Berk without scandalizing anyone. In addition to the trousers, Hiccup also took the biggest vest he owned, a thick bearskin winter garment. He packed them away in a basket and strapped it to his back before stealing away to the Hofferson home.

Thank gods it was Astrid who answered the front door. He didn't think he'd be able to explain himself to Astrid's mother, who liked asking questions, particularly of Hiccup. (something to do with Astrid, Stoick had told him once, smiling when Hiccup said truthfully that he didn't understand)

"Oh. Hey, Hiccup," She said, obviously surprised, and leaned against the doorframe.

"I have a problem." He said bluntly. He'd planned out an entire speech to break the news as reasonably as possible, but now it all seemed to fly out the back of his head. His thoughts had a tendency to do that when Astrid was around. When speaking with her, his brain gave him little choice except to say exactly what he was thinking. (If he didn't, she'd end up punching him)

"What kind of problem?" She frowned.

"It's Toothless. I need your help."

She continued to frown at him silently for a few seconds more, casting a look at the pack he still shouldered, before looking him in the eyes again, and shutting the door behind her. "Alright, I'll bite. What's he done now?"

Hiccup drew a long breath and stared blankly for a second. "I don't think you'll believe me," He told her. She crossed her arms.

"Try me."

At first, she hadn't believed him. When she finally came around, it was still, understandably, a shock.

"Okay. Okay. O… Okay. This is… well, it's, uhm… Okay."

Hiccup's sarcasm would have normally generated a suitably snarky comment to tease her on her uncharacteristic fluster, but at that particular moment, he could only sigh in complete agreement.

"Yeah," he said.

"So… is he… alright?"

"Well, I guess," Hiccup shrugged. "He doesn't know how to walk – that's why I need your help, actually, to get him back to the village. He can talk, but not very well."

"Wait, he knows Norse?!" Astrid sounded just as shocked as Hiccup had been.

"Apparently, he's been able to understand Norse for a long time, but couldn't speak it when he was a dragon. I'm guessing his mouth simply wasn't made for those kinds of sounds."

Astrid gaped for a moment, before shutting her teeth together with a click. After a moment, she turned and asked, "…So do all our dragons understand Norse?"

Hiccup shrugged. It was an interesting thought, but he would have to put off pondering it until later. "Maybe? I don't know. Right now, all I know is that my dragon is a human and I don't know why, and neither does he." He looked up at the sky, where the setting sun was casting the first shadows of dusk. "And we need to get him back before dark."

Astrid nodded and they didn't say much to each other after that, until they reached the cove and Hiccup stopped early, putting out a hand to catch Astrid before she could go any further. "Wait," he said. She shot him a confused look as he let down his pack.

"What's wrong?"

Hiccup pulled out the vest and trousers. "I need to give him these before you see him," he explained. It took a moment for the problem to register, but then Astrid's eyebrows shot up and she nodded and gestured for him to go ahead. She might've been blushing, but Hiccup couldn't tell in the dim lighting.

"Alright, bud, I'm back, now come put these on." He marched into the cove and found Toothless not too far from where he'd left him. The brunette was still playing with grass and rocks and small sticks, but he'd dragged himself into a shrinking patch of sun.

"D-d-d-dinner?" Toothless said, and Hiccup felt awful when he heard shivering in his friend's voice.

"Yeah, but clothes first. Come here, I'll help you."

Toothless pulled up a knee and planted his foot on the ground as if to stand up, but then he thought better of it, and instead crawled over to where Hiccup stood.

"W-w-w-why n-n-eeding fak-k-ke skins?" He asked, trying very hard not to shake from the chill evening, but not able to help it. Hiccup didn't think it was very cold out that night, perhaps a bit chilly at most, but poor Toothless, naked and so used to having a dragon's fire in his belly, was like a pup tossed out in the snow.

"It'll help you warm up," Hiccup told him, although he knew it wouldn't actually help that much. He didn't know if Toothless would even understand human conceptions of physical decency, so he figured reasoning through comfort would work more effectively. He was right. Toothless didn't hesitate, reaching out to the thick fur vest like it would save him. Hiccup helped pull Toothless' shaking arms through the armholes and felt even sorrier for the dragon when he realized that he wasn't even that cold yet.

The trousers were a more difficult matter. They were too small, as Hiccup had predicted, and it appeared Toothless also had a much harder time moving his legs around than his arms. After an awkward several minutes, Hiccup finally managed to get the waistline up past Toothless' hips and pull the belt tight. Although Toothless looked pointedly uncomfortable, Hiccup was confident it would keep him decent long enough to find a better-fitting replacement.

"Alright, then," Hiccup stood up and sighed, surveying his friend now that he looked somewhat more passable in the 'normal' department. Tight as they were, the trousers didn't look too bad, and the vest made him look more like a typical Viking. "Astrid, you can come on in. And grab my pack, will you?" He called over. Still on the ground, Toothless peered around Hiccup's legs to watch the other Viking come in.

She did so slowly, basket hanging from one hand. Hiccup watched her reaction with some trepidation, and was surprised by the amount of calm she was able to muster.

"Hey, Toothless," she smiled, and Toothless either didn't notice or didn't care that it was forced.

"Azztrid," he said, smiling in recognition. She gasped in surprised when he said her name. She'd been listening to him speak with Hiccup as they got him dressed, but still, being spoken to by a creature who really shouldn't have been able to speak intelligibly in the first place was a highly unnerving experience. Hiccup was smiling encouragingly at her.

"Umm… We brought you dinner," She said, lowering the basket and opening it.

"Iss…. Having waterfishes ins it? Is givings at, Toothless?" He crawled over towards the basket and peered curiously inside, and then up at Astrid.

Astrid was staring at him in utter non-comprehension. Hiccup eventually came to her rescue.

"He asked if you've brought him fish."

"Oh," She said, embarrassed for Toothless that she hadn't been able to understand. "Um, no. Bread and cheese."

Toothless had cast a confused look at Hiccup when he'd had to translate. Now, he looked a bit disappointed that Astrid had suddenly understood Hiccup, but not Toothless.

"What beings 'breath' and 'chiz'?" Toothless grumbled, grabbing the basket and sticking his face in it. He found the food quickly, and scrunched up his nose upon recognizing the disgustingly meat-less food the humans so often ate. "Not eatings!" he groaned, flopping back. "Waterfishes, onlys good at, Toothless."

"You won't know until you try it, Toothless," Hiccup said, crouching and offering a handful of sourdough, which he knew had been baked that morning. "Come on, at least smell it. You'll like it, I promise."

Toothless sent him a long glare of skepticism, but took it anyway, because he trusted his human. He smelled the bread once, and regarded it, and then smelled it again, so close that Hiccup thought some crumbs might've gone up his nose. Then, tentatively, he licked it and smacked his lips. His eyes lit up and his lips puckered and he stared at the bread like had come to life. Then, he tossed back his head and stuffed the bread into his mouth, and, stupidly, tried to swallow.

"Oh, gods, Toothless, don't!" Hiccup said, jumping forward. Toothless dissolved into a fit of dangerous-sounding choking, and Hiccup scrambled to help. Forcing him to bend over the ground, Hiccup pressed a hand hard up on Toothless' stomach until he spat the bread out and began breathing again. "You have to chew, bud, you can't just swallow it whole, alright?" When Toothless had calmed down and began paying full attention to Hiccup, the Viking ripped off a piece of bread and ate it, taking consideration to chew exaggeratedly. "See?" He said around his food, "like this." He swallowed, and smiled at Toothless to show he was no worse for the wear.

Toothless looked accusingly at the next piece of bread that Hiccup handed him, but carefully did as Hiccup had shown him, chewing somewhat oddly and swallowing after. After mastering the art of chewing and reluctantly conquering his skepticism over the taste of cheese, Toothless and the two Vikings ate their fill together under the dusky orange sky. By the time the food was gone, Toothless was shivering in bursts, despite the warmth his new vest offered him.

Astrid had been quiet during dinner, playing spectator as Hiccup took the lead in helping Toothless. After dinner, however, she was the first to look up at the darkening sky and stand. "We need to get going. It'll take a while with him, I'm guessing," she said. Hiccup nodded and turned to Toothless.

"Right there, bud, you ready to learn to walk on two legs?"

It did, indeed, take a while.

Toothless seemed excited to learn at first, but after falling down three, four, five, times, he began using increasingly halted Norse to express his distaste for human anatomy, the sensitivity of human feet, and for his situation altogether. Eventually, it devolved from Norse completely into that nameless, guttural language that Hiccup had heard him speak before.

They'd been trying to help Toothless walk somewhat on his own so far, until Hiccup noticed that Toothless' (now wordless) frustration had festered to the point that there were tears forming in his eyes, which in turn caused him more confusion and, in turn, more tears. Hiccup sighed.

"I'm sorry, bud," he told his taller friend gently, "Let's just get you home, alright?" Nodding to Astrid, Hiccup wrapped his arms more fully around Toothless' back and pulled Toothless' arm taught across his shoulders. Astrid did the same and, with Toothless now strung between them, assumed a quicker walking pace.

Hiccup had forgotten how far the cove actually was from the village, but after hauling Toothless to the edge of town, he and Astrid were both panting from exertion, and his shoulder was aching horribly from where Toothless had to lean to keep himself upright. The dragon-human in question had said nothing the entire way, and was looking down with incredible embarrassment as he allowed himself to be carried by his Viking friends.

Hiccup wanted nothing more than to crash into his house, crawl upstairs and collapse until he at least caught his breath, but he knew that wouldn't be an option. His father would be by the fire, probably just finished with his supper, and would have plenty of questions when his son stumbled through the door with a poorly-dressed, immobile stranger slung between him and his girlfriend.

The mere thought made Hiccup sigh. He was having a hard enough time understanding the situation, he couldn't begin to fathom what horrid time Stoick would make of it. Stoick wasn't stupid – Hiccup hadn't inherited his brains from nowhere, after all – but for all his strategic and managerial wisdom, Stoick was a reputedly blunt individual, with little tolerance for the unexplained or mysterious.

If anything, Hiccup thought, Toothless turning up as a human being definitely qualified as unexplained and mysterious.

"Look," Hiccup huffed to Toothless, "I know I'm tired, you're freezing, and Astrid needs to get home. But we'll have to do it sooner or later So… here goes nothing."

Readjusting Toothless' weight on his shoulder, Hiccup reached out and pulled open the back door to his house. His eyes immediately and reluctantly settled on Stoick the Vast, who turned his head at the noise. At the sight of the stranger, the chief stood.

"What in Thor's name…"

"Uh," Hiccup shuffled inside, and Astrid juggled her hold on Toothless to close the door behind them. "…Hey, dad," Hiccup smiled lopsidedly, knowing that it wouldn't help even a little bit. "I can explain, really," he reassured, and then blinked with he thought better of it. "I think."

A/N: Thanks for all of the positive feedback! Since writing the first chapter, I've actually gotten a few ideas for a plotline. It won't be anything too wild or adventurous, but should provide a nice arch for a character study. No telling how many chapters there will end up being, but I will be continuing this.

Thanks again for reviewing, everyone!