Chapter Six
It was too quiet.
He usually loved the silence, but there was something wrong in the air, something that pulled Ciel from his thankfully dreamless sleep. The usual cacophony of raucous laughter and voices, his usual alarm clock, was not there.
With a knot forming in his stomach, Ciel threw back the sheets and dragged himself out of bed. Apprehension grew as he neared his bedroom door, quietly pulling it open and glancing out.
Beast was the first one he saw. Proud and fierce Beast, with her face in her hands and sobs racking her body. Her curly hair was a matted mess, her clothes obviously having been threw on in a hurry. No sound escaped her though, there was still enough of her usual self about that she kept the screams locked away.
Wendy was curled up against her side, tear-stained face in the larger but not older woman's lap. Her deceptively small body was trembling violently, and Ciel watched her right hand clench and unclench, as though constantly forgetting that the hand she always held when things got bad was no longer in her reach.
Dagger knelt before them, and although Ciel had always thought him brash and irritating, respect grew for the boy, man, as he restrained his own tears expertly. He petted Wendy's hair soothingly with one hand, gripping his beloved sister's knee with the other, and whispered lies of comfort, not convincing them or himself.
Neither three of them noticed Ciel in his doorway, too absorbed in their grief, but Freckles, standing off to the side and staring at nothing, glanced up to meet his gaze. She wasn't crying, there were no signs that she had either. Her eyes weren't red, her cheeks weren't blotchy, she wasn't a sniffling mess. Perhaps it would have been better if she had been crying, because that sheer blankness she had on her face then sent a chill down Ciel's spine. He was so used to the warm smiles she gave him, the dirty laughs that made her blush when she realised they were coming from her, and the bright eyes. The stark absence of any emotion was not Freckles.
The girl abandoned her post and came towards him, fisting her sweatshirt, wetting her dry lips.
"Hey, Smile," she croaked, and Ciel wondered if maybe he'd been wrong, that she had cried, cried so much the tears simply dried up.
"Hello, Freckles," he replied obligingly. He wasn't sure what to do. What was the protocol for these situations? People generally hugged at these times, but they both knew he wasn't capable of offering her that sort of comfort, and she would never ask it from him. He considered asking her into his room, not sure why, was that what people did? Offer privacy? But she had her own room for that if it was what she wanted.
Ciel shifted from foot to foot restlessly, waiting for Freckles to offer some sort of explanation for what was going on. He knew that much, the rule was to never ask, if something was amiss you'd be told. Unspoken and unwritten, but a rule none-the-less. Freckles didn't say anything though, just stood before him uncertainly, and so Ciel bit the bullet.
Reaching out, he gingerly took one of her hands in his. He may not be able to embrace the girl, but he could bring himself to do this much.
She blinked down at her hand clasped in his, looking for all the world like she'd just been shook awake, then laced their fingers together. And then the smile was back, not the usual beaming grin, it was unsteady and ready to break at any minute, but still a smile.
She took a deep breath, exhaling loudly, and began, "Joker went to see Angela."
Ciel didn't need to hear any more, honestly didn't need more than just Joker's name to know what happened, but felt that Freckles needed to tell him. She'd understand herself what was going on only if she spoke the words.
"It was only last night... we can't know for sure, I guess... Hell, he could come burstin' through the door any second now and laugh at us gettin' all worked up over nothin'..."
She trailed off, eyes turning towards the ward door hopefully, as though Joker was simply waiting outside for his cue. Ciel tightened his hold on her hand, drawing her attention back from the hopeless scenario, and waited for her to continue.
"...Y'heard 'bout Peter, right?"
Ciel nodded. The night after Sebastian had mentioned to him about Peter, Freckles herself had told him anyway. Peter had always had such a short temper, and was dangerously possessive of Wendy. An awfully bad mix, especially with Wendy's meek nature always causing Peter to think some terrible slight had been committed against her every time she looked a little down. Usually they managed to keep him from doing anything more than shouting, but Dagger and Jumbo had been on the other side of the room, and Joker had been in a session with Claude. Of course Grey provoked him, as always, and Peter hadn't even managed to draw blood with his attack, but no-one cared about that. Alls that mattered was the nuts-and-bolts of the situation; a psychiatrist talking to a patient, the patient attacked, end of.
Ciel frowned.
"That... was a while back."
Freckles finally looked back to Ciel's face, "A month ago. Peter's been gone a whole month, Smile."
Ciel felt like he'd been doused in cold water. Surely that couldn't be right. He would have noticed, definitely would have noticed if someone had been in The Room that long.
He must have exchanged all of two words with Peter since the small man had arrived at St. Victoria's, and they'd probably only have been his being warned to keep away from Wendy or something equally pointless, yet Ciel suddenly felt the urge to be sick.
"We've all been tryin' to find out when they'd be bringin' him back, but no one would tell us nothin'. Joker got really annoyed last night and just got outta his chair and said he was goin' to get Peter. And he said it in that way he does, y'know?"
Ciel did know. Joker spent so much time living up to his namesake that people forgot how serious the man could be when he had to. When the situation called for it, however, Joker stood up and took care of whatever he had to take care of. Ciel could just picture him, usual grin replaced by a stern frown, threading his fingers through his wild orange hair, informing everyone I'm going to go fetch Peter, back in five, in the same way you'd say the sky is blue or Bard's cooking sucked.
"So 'course we all believed him... but..."
"...He hasn't come back," Ciel finished for her as she seemed visibly incapable of saying the words, clutching his hand so tight it hurt. Freckles nodded jerkily, taking a shaky breath, willing away the tightness in her throat and the burning behind her eyes.
She couldn't cry, she just couldn't. Not when Beast was breaking, and Wendy was broken, and Dagger was being so much stronger than them all. And, oh god, she'd have to tell Jumbo when he finally woke up and that would be too damn much to take.
Ciel watched as the girl before him, one of the few people he could truly consider a friend, held herself together with nothing but the fracturing determination to not cry.
And all he could do was squeeze her hand a little tighter.
He'd gone back in to his room, couldn't help but feel he was intruding upon their grief.
Ciel liked Joker.
Well, as much as Ciel generally liked people, anyway.
Joker was loud and his teasing was annoying, he always stole Ciel's favourite chair and gave him stupid nicknames like Smile that caught on with everyone from patients to staff, yet...
Joker was kind. When he'd first met Ciel, he'd given him the brightest smile Ciel had ever seen and invited Ciel to come sit with him and his friends. Ciel had, of course, vehemently refused, and with a poisonous glare to boot, but from that day on, Joker was not deterred and continued to invite the anti-social boy to join the rest of them.
Joker was generous. In a place like St. Victoria's, it was everyone for themselves, or so Ciel liked to think. Joker did not share that sentiment, though. Whenever he got his hands on something, be it an insignificant think like a pen or something interesting like a book, he shared it with everyone else. And, the time he'd managed to sneak some sweets from Ronald's pocket and saw Ciel's eye reluctantly drawn to them, without a seconds hesitation, he gave every last one to the boy.
Joker was protective. Despite the dog-eat-dog mentality of the Institute, Joker had taken each and every one of his fellow patients under his wing. Joker wasn't that much older than everyone else, and no doubt he had his fair share of problems- he was there after all. Yet, whenever someone came back weary and tired from a treatment, in pain in every sense of the word, Joker was the first one at their sides, supporting them and taking them to their rooms. Ciel remembered after one particularly vile treatment of Claude's, when he'd become so sick that he couldn't even breathe, Joker had sat at his bedside, not touching never touching, and told him stupid stories about some Piper's son until he'd finally been able to draw breath without it hurting.
...Suddenly Ciel found his room stifling, the solitude that he always sought smothering, and strode out of the door again. It had been an hour or two since he'd spoken with Freckles, and Jumbo had finally arisen. Joker's usual group were sat around him, trying to explain to the still half-asleep man what was happening, and Ciel steered clear of them.
He made his way over to his usual armchair, pulling his feet up under him. Jumbo let out a wordless yell and jumped to his feet, sending the coffee table in front of him over on it's side, and Dagger implored for him to sit down and try to be calm.
It was just as smothering out here. He wanted to go outside. It felt like someone had his windpipe in their fist, tightening their hold as the seconds crawled on. He clenched his eye shut and counted slowly back from one hundred, keeping his breaths slow and steady. The last thing he needed was for that annoyance to start up again.
"Care for some company?" an only vaguely familiar voice enquired politely. Opening his eye again, he saw Drocell standing before him.
A sense of unease washed over Ciel.
Obviously taking Ciel's silence as consent, Drocell pulled over a chair and sat down. A scraping from his other side announced the arrival of Drocell's shadow, Snake.
Ciel glanced between the two in suspicion, the smothered feeling growing into sheer claustrophobia. They had him cornered, and he damn well didn't like it.
"What do you want?" Ciel demanded, uncurling his feet from beneath him and settling them on the floor.
Snake and Drocell shared a look before Snake turned back to Ciel.
"We are in trouble." His voice was so quiet, even sitting only inches apart, Ciel had to strain to hear him. The white-haired man looked over to the group of people in the middle of the room, and there was visible pain on his usually blank face. Drocell rested a hand on his knee, the most comfort he could offer when others were present.
"Let's not beat around the bush; we have a request of you, Ciel."
Ciel's eye narrowed, lips pressing together in a tight line.
"And what exactly would that be?" he responded, tone making it perfectly clear that any answer wasn't remotely welcome.
Snake hadn't looked away from the others, and didn't seem prone to, so Drocell took over.
"Something has changed. Snake and I have been discussing it for a while now, how different things have seemed, but this... For Peter to have been gone so long, I reason he must have been killed."
He said it in a detached way, but fear spiked in those striking violet eyes.
"And now they have taken Joker. We do not want Joker to die, not when there is a simple way to prevent it from happening. Deny it if you choose, but you don't want Joker to die either. He is a friend to all of us, and he has been a very good friend to you, even if you weren't responsive to his attempts-"
"Get to the point," Ciel snapped, uncomfortable with where the conversation was leading.
"Your room is the only one that is always open," Snake stated, finally tearing his gaze from his friends and looking imploringly at Ciel.
Ciel frowned.
"Yes. And?"
"Your patience is running thin, so I shall just come out with it; your door is always open and we have noticed that you appear to have some sort of relationship with the new Orderly. We want you to get him to open the ward door for you and to get Joker back. Once Joker is back inside the ward, no-one will be able to say anything, for it would arouse suspicion on their actions, and namely, raise the question of where Peter is."
"Simple," Snake ended, and if Ciel didn't know better, he'd have sworn the white-haired man was almost smirking.
Ciel looked from one to the other, mind racing. The two watched, trying to see what effects their words had on the boy. Just as Ciel opened his mouth to reply, however, an excited shout interrupted him.
"Ciel! Is your room on fire? You've actually come out!" Soma exclaimed with a vibrant grin, bounding over, unaware of the sombre atmosphere in the room. Drocell and Snake had managed to disappear in the split-second Ciel had been distracted by Soma, and when he glanced around, they weren't in the room.
Surely his eyes were deceiving him. As he lived and breathed, Ciel Phantomhive was in the leisure room in the sunlight hours, without having been dragged from his room by Alois or tempted through the door by a candy-toting Soma.
Sebastian crossed into the ward, sliding his key-card back into his pocket. No sooner had he stepped into the room than Ciel's head snapped up, their eyes meeting. If the past few days had been any indication, Sebastian expected Ciel to look away, pretend he hadn't seem him, pointedly ignore him. Instead, he rose from the armchair and began over to Sebastian.
"Play with me," was the first thing Ciel said to him after days of being blanked, no hello's or how are you's. Not even a comment on the weather. He didn't wait for Sebastian to answer, just strode back over to his chair.
The board had already been set up.
Sebastian, irked at the boy's surety that he would immediately follow when told like a dog, walked the other way, straightening tables and chairs, sharing words with the other patients. He purposefully avoided looking over to Ciel, though could feel the burn of the other's eye on him.
The patients seemed awfully quiet today.
Sebastian didn't have to think hard to know why. Joker's absence was almost painful in its obviousness.
"...I trust you've been well," a begrudging voice bit out. Ciel's arms were folded across his chest, legs crossed, and he didn't look amused.
So he did have some manners.
Sebastian granted him a smile.
"I can't complain."
"I heard you were ill yesterday," Ciel replied, purposefully glancing from Sebastian to the empty chair in front of him in a not-so-subtle hint.
"Oh, just a touch of influenza. Nothing to worry about." Sebastian didn't sit, rather enjoying the mounting annoyance in the boy's face and his not at all successful attempts to mask it.
At least until Ciel smirked. Warning bells rang.
"Glad to hear it. If you were too ill, there'd be no chance of you getting all the way down there."
Don't take the bait, don't take the bait, don't take the fucking ba-
"Down where?"
Hook, line and sinker.
Ciel gestured to the chair across from him, arching a fine brow, the smirk positively dripping smugness now.
"I find it's rude to be seated when speaking to someone standing."
Sebastian was about to suggest he could stand up too, but curiosity got the better of him, so he relented and sat.
"Down where?" he repeated. Ciel moved his white Knight.
"Your move."
Funny how Sebastian had been so eager for games of chess with the boy. Now a game was the last thing he wanted, but the only thing Ciel was offering. Loathe to do so, Sebastian thoughtlessly shoved one of his Pawns two spaces, "Down where?"
Ciel simply hummed, moving another piece.
This continued for several minutes, possibly the longest minutes Sebastian had ever lived, and he was getting dangerously close to simply throwing the board aside and grabbing Ciel by the shirt, shaking the answer from him.
The worst thing was that he knew he was playing right into the brat's hands.
Just as he was about to demand down where for the umpteenth time, Ciel leaned over the chessboard, a finger beckoning Sebastian to do the same, and murmured so quietly it was as though he was wary of even himself hearing the words, "Do you still want to know what The Room is?"
Of course, Sebastian had jumped at the chance.
Of course, Ciel hadn't told him a damn thing.
"Next time you're on the Night Shift," was all he had said before disappearing into his room. Sebastian had considered following him in there, but Agni had caught his gaze, and that knowing look in his eye had mortified Sebastian enough to be glad he wasn't near the apparent object of 'affection'.
As the most cliché of chances would have it, Sebastian didn't have to wait long for said chance, as he was summoned to Angela's office only four days later. Figures he couldn't have had that luck when he'd wanted to read Ciel's folder.
Perhaps it all worked out for the best, though. If he hadn't have been in Claude's office that day, he wouldn't have seen what transpired between Joker and the staff. Joker, who had yet to return to the ward.
As usual, Ciel was already waiting in the dimly-lit room. This time, however, there was no chessboard waiting. Over his usual clothes, Ciel had a thick jacket wrapped around him.
Unease flooded Sebastian, and he paused in the doorway of the leisure room. Rather than any usual greetings, Sebastian stated, "You're not just going to tell me what The Room is, are you?"
Ciel smirked, the smirk that Sebastian was beginning to associate with his pride taking a severe beating.
"We could banter for a while, but I'd rather not waste time. It's already been four days too long. I'll just get to the point."
Ciel rose from his chair, zipping the jacket closed and burying his hands in the pockets.
"I need you to open the door for me. Once you do, I'll take you down to The Room. Joker is there... what's left of him anyway. We're going to get Joker and bring him back here. We get Joker back; you not only find out what The Room is, you get to see it first-hand. It's a win-win scenario. What do you say?"
Ciel looked up at Sebastian, standing at his side, expectant.
"I'll be fired," was the first thing that came to Sebastian's mind.
Well, the third.
The first was that, damn, the brat made the single most idiotic request Sebastian had ever heard sound reasonable.
The second was that he was really tempted.
Ciel snorted, "Nonsense. Listen, Sebastian. They do things in that room, things that cannot get out to people with the power to stop it. I'm not entirely sure even the Chairman know what goes on in that room. I won't lie- the use of your key will be registered on the system on every door we go through. They will know exactly who it is who freed Joker. However... have you ever noticed? There is not a single camera in the entire Institute."
Ciel gestured to the room they were in, and Sebastian followed the unspoken command, glancing around the walls, every corner, for a little red light or a shiny lens.
That couldn't be right. There had to be cameras. Safety, protocol, it was just the rules! How else did they monitor the patients when the Orderlies weren't about?
"Think, Sebastian! Why do you think that is?" Ciel was growing fervent now, the need for Sebastian to understand desperate.
Sebastian thought back on what Ciel had said moments before, that they were doing things that couldn't get back to people with power to stop it, and understood.
"No cameras mean no evidence to whatever it is they're doing," Sebastian muttered, more to himself than to Ciel. Ciel still heard, though, and sighed. In relief, presumably.
"Exactly. I knew there was more to your head than hair products. Now, what do you say? Will you open the door for me, Sebastian?"
Even though the question was simple and Ciel didn't meant the words in any double-way, Sebastian hesitated, the simple question knocking him blind for a minute. If he opened that door for Ciel, he was taking a side. Even though he believed with every fibre of his being that Ciel was sane, he couldn't get past the fact that the side he was taking was that of an institutionalized person. The second he opened that door, Ciel could do anything. He could run, escape, find something sharp and attack Sebastian, hurt himself, hurt other people, anything.
If he opened that door, what else was he opening the door to? To open that door, Sebastian would have to place complete trust in the one-eyed boy staring up at him, trust that he'd never placed in anyone else before. Trust that he couldn't merely give for that night then take back once they'd retrieved Joker, if that was sincerely what was going to happen and wasn't an elaborate trap by the boy. That trust would rest with Ciel the rest of Sebastian's life.
Sebastian jolted when he felt something wrap around his wrist, and glanced down. A strip of cloth, torn from the hem of Ciel's shirt, was knotted around his wrist, the other end tied around Ciel's own thin wrist, binding them together.
Ciel glanced back up at Sebastian when he was satisfied at the tightness of their bindings, and frowned, "This comes off the second we're back here. I do not like being tied up... I won't attempt to run, Sebastian."
Had his thoughts been so clearly plastered across his face?
Ciel fell silence once he'd said his piece, and Sebastian could have sworn there was a slight trembling in his bound hand, his face paler than it's usual white.
With the voice in the back of his mind shouting, screaming, that he was going to regret this, this was a mistake, he was playing right into the mad boy's hands, Sebastian pulled his key-card from his pocket and pressed it over the electronic panel.
The ward door swung open soundlessly, and Ciel, leading Sebastian by their joined wrists, stepped out of the ward.
Ciel Phantomhive was no hero.
Even as a child, he'd held no affection for the masked men, clad in spandex, with capes whipping behind them in the imaginary wind. That was more Lizzie's cup of tea. He could never fathom why they did the things they did, saved the whiny damsels and beat the two-dimensional 'villains', yet never taking their masks off to receive the glory of their actions. What was the sense in risking ones life and getting nothing in return?
Ciel liked Joker. Ciel, although resolutely ignoring the inner-voice that said this, wanted no harm to come to Joker. Ciel was going to save Joker from The Room.
Ciel's reasons for doing this was most certainly not for playing the hero.
When Drocell and Snake had cornered him and implored Ciel to rescue Joker, every part of Ciel, even the part that didn't want Joker to be hurt, was saying no, none of my concern, everyone for themselves. But then they'd said something that fascinated him.
"We've noticed you appear to have some sort of relationship with the new Orderly."
They played chess, occasionally they spoke of things other than chess, and Ciel would admit that Sebastian's company didn't make him want to drill a pencil into his ear just for some peace and quiet like other peoples did.
Did that constitute a relationship?
Irrelevant. What fascinated Ciel was that Drocell and Snake seemed under the opinion that Ciel could get Sebastian to open the ward door for him.
They had not been wrong.
While Ciel fully intended to retrieve Joker from The Room and bring him back to the ward, that wasn't the reason he'd opted to perform the rescue mission. Ciel was doing this simply to see just how much power he had over Sebastian.
After all, if Ciel could get Sebastian to open one door, given time, what was to stop him from opening any door?
St. Victoria's Institution was a far more complex building than Sebastian had ever imagined.
They'd been walking for what must have been at least several hours now, neither saying a single word. There had been endless corridors, steep stairs, and they'd reached a point in the building where the air had that dirty and damp smell that reminded Sebastian of the Underground Tube stations in London.
Were they underground?
Sebastian almost asked Ciel, but stopped himself. He wasn't sure if it was because Ciel was focusing on getting them to wherever it was they needed to go, or if it had something to do with the now quite violent shakes racking Ciel's body, but the boy had fallen completely silent. Sometimes he didn't even seem like he was breathing.
Sebastian was a little disappointed to be honest. What with all the sinister build-up over the past few weeks, he'd been expecting a more horror-movie style place to unfold before them. Although the dilapidated state of the building would probably earn a few screams from real-estaters, there was nothing truly fear-inspiring before them. No rats scuttled past, no moss grew on the walls, no shadows without a source followed their progress into the lower levels of St. Victoria's.
"...I think we're here," Ciel finally spoke up, and even though they both knew there was no way someone could hear them, he whispered. They'd finally reached the bottom of the longest staircase yet, and it opened up to a single corridor. Unlike its predecessors, the corridor was immaculate. No dust, no grime, not even a cobweb.
It was a well-used hall.
At the end of the hall was a single iron door. An industrial grey, without a plaque or any indication to what it led to. Not that anyone who reached it needed a plaque to know.
Sebastian nodded, and waited for the boy to move, but he didn't. He was still trembling, and he stared towards the door with a glassy eye, face eerily blank.
"...Ciel?" Sebastian reached out a hand towards him, and Ciel came back to himself, side-stepping the outstretched hand without a blink, pulling Sebastian towards the door.
Sebastian didn't question it, too busy focusing on the mix of building apprehension and excitement. He didn't need to be asked to pull out his key-card again, and he passed it over the panel on the wall with a fumbling haste.
The panel beeped.
"Ready?" Ciel breathed, unbound hand resting on the iron door.
"Yes," Sebastian responded without a hairsbreadth hesitation.
Ciel threw the door open.
Mirrors.
Floor, ceiling, walls, every last speck of The Room was one huge mirror. Every way he turned, Sebastian's own bewildered face stared back at him. There were no torture devices, no suspicious dark stains, nothing but mirrors.
Well, almost nothing but mirrors.
In the far corner of the room, so huddled over on himself that Sebastian had missed him on first inspection, was Joker. The curled-up ball shuddered, choked sobs tearing from not visible lips, heart-breaking in every way, more so when you knew who they were coming from.
Ciel, who had froze the second the door open and clenched his eye shut, shook himself back and darted over to Joker, dragging Sebastian along the mirrored floor. The blue-haired boy drew to a halt a few feet from Joker, and knelt down, watching his fellow patient intently.
They were close enough now that they could decipher words in the sobs.
"W-Won't ever ag-gain- don't hurt me... p-please... just kill me already..."
More than Joker, however, Sebastian couldn't tear his eyes from Ciel.
Ciel's stony face softened impossibly, and Sebastian had presumed that the default frown was as close to neutral as he could be. Gingerly, as though second-thinking the action every inch he took, Ciel extended his free hand towards the shuddering boy before him. He crouched down further, making himself as small as possible, as least intimidating as possible, and softly spoke, "Joker. It's alright. I'm taking you back."
And Joker slowly uncurled from the fetal position he'd been in, lifting his tear-stained face warily, just enough to see who was speaking to him, and his eyes widened. With a watery hiccup, he exclaimed, "Smile!" and threw himself into Ciel, burying his face in Ciel's chest and crying like a child.
Bile rose in Sebastian's throat, "Fucking hell."
Dangling uselessly from Joker's body, a completely skeletal right arm. Dried blood still remained on the glistening ivory bones, chunks of flesh hanging by a thread, and the crook of his elbow marked the spot where whatever had burned away the flesh ended. The tear was jagged, the bone jutting out of the bloodied stump.
The blood smeared across Ciel's jacket, and he looked away with disgust. Not disgust at Joker, though, and although he didn't wrap his arms around the wearied and injured man, he didn't push him away either.
Sebastian knelt beside Ciel, untying their wrists. He noticed with interest that the second his wrist was unbound, Ciel's trembles subsided. Although a useless bandage, Sebastian still wrapped it around the stump of Joker's arm, resisting the urge to flinch away when his fingers brushed the smooth and exposed bone.
Joker jolted when Sebastian started tying the bandage, eyes darting to Sebastian's face, and he dragged himself away, left hand wrapping around Ciel's wrist and pulling him away too. Ciel gently, far more gently than Sebastian could have ever expected him to be, removed Joker's hand.
"It's alright. He won't hurt you. He's here to help."
And Joker immediately ceased trying to escape the Orderly.
"He's going to pick you up, Joker. Don't panic, and don't knock that arm," Ciel announced, looking to Sebastian. Sebastian complied without question, hooking an arm beneath Joker's knees and another behind his back, hefting him up and against his chest. Ciel moved the mutilated arm so that it was resting unharmed against Joker's stomach.
And then they strode from The Room, the iron door swinging shut behind them.