Hey~ ^_^/

Before we start with this chapter, we want to thank everyone who has read the story so far - especially those who have written a review.
We're really happy to read that you like this fanfic and the pairing Penguin x Law. Hopefully it will stay like this and you'll enjoy all upcoming chapters, too. x3

Thank you so much.

Chapter VII - My Victory is your Defeat

Despite his rumination and confused thoughts, Shachi fell asleep at some point. He only woke up when the cabin's door snapped shut silently but audibly and squinted in the pale light of his bedside lamp, which lightened the room softly. Finally he directed his attention to the door. Of course it had been Penguin who just had sneaked in. He did not only observe him secretly as usual. Still the fury and unsettling feelings raged too heavily inside him. The sleep had not changed anything about this either. He lifted his upper body a bit and glanced across at his friend. When he turned around, he realized that he had obviously woken him up.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't want to wake you," he apologized tiredly.
"Of course not," the younger growled.
Penguin sighed annoyed while he went, only half-dressed with his overall, over to his bed, "Are you still so grabby?"
He let himself fall down on the blanket and began to put of his boots, which shoelaces he had not even done up, as Shachi also noticed. A clear proof of that he just had put them back on a little while ago, which did not surprise the redhaired one. Lastly he knew where his friend had been and what he only just had done.
He looked sharply over his counterpart, "How should I feel if I see my best friend so tired and sorrowful?"
The older stared back at him, after he had put his shoes next to his bed, "What?"
Now he did not understand anything at all anymore: Had Shachis mood not been of complete other origin one hour ago?
"Do you think I don't see how you feel?" Shachi sat up crosslegged, whereat he pressed his hands energetically on his feet, before he continued speaking emphatically, "I know you for fourteen years now, Peng! I know how you look if something is depressing you and if you are sad! And I know very well why this is the case!"
Penguin, who had just gasped at his grey top's seam to put it off, gazed at him frozen. It was true that he felt bad. And this although he just had shared the bed with their captain once more. But exactly this was the reason: It was in the past again. Like every time after sex, he had, if only half this time, dressed again and had gone. Meanwhile Law even did not need to ask him to do so any longer. He was aware of the fact that the doctor wanted to be alone. Every time when he left him, it hurt the older though. Because although he did not show it always overly, it was obvious that the captain was about to turn himself in his own thoughts. Penguin wished he would not send him away. Too much he felt the urge to enfold him in his arms and to hold him. He wanted to show him that he was not alone, no matter what was going on inside him. But probably a long time would pass by until this was going to happen - if it ever happened.
Anyhow now it baffled the blackhaired enormously that Shachi had noticed his mood. Did his expression reflect it so much? He had not been aware of this.
"I'm just tired," he put it off nevertheless and doffed his shirt, which he threw over the bed's footboard.
A scornful snort from the other was everything that came back as a reply before Penguin could watch Shachi moving his feet out of his bed and grabbing at his shoes.
He darted a doubtful glance at him, "Where are you heading?"
But the other did not answer and stuck the ends of his shoelaces in the bootleg as he was too lazy now to cord them properly.
The older raised one brow and eyed him still sceptically, "If you're going to get a sniff, it's a good idea. You're really out of temper today."
But this was not what Shachi was thinking of. He blustered inside: Neither because he had not succeeded with women anew nor because he was still jealous of Penguin, but just because Law enraged him so immensely right now. No matter how much he felt attracted by his captain, he could not witness how he played with the feelings of other people any longer. Not with those of the women and especially not with the feelings of his best friend – his brother. He did not pay any attention to his own hurt heart at the moment. His groggy condition incited his anger too much.
With a for him odd scowl he stood up quickly and went decisively over to the door, which he tore open.
"I'll give him hell!" With these words he rushed out the room and along the corridor.
Penguin looked after him confused. And his sleepy head needed some time until he realized what his obviously still drunk friend was going to do now. Like a scalded cat he jumped up too and run after him barefooted and only half dressed.
"SHACHI, YOU FOOL! STOP IT!" But his shout just resounded in vain through the almost empty submarine.
It was too late. He could already hear the younger pushing open the door of the captain's cabin loudly.

With an emotionless expression Law was sitting on the edge of the bed. He had just slipped his pants on and wanted to put on his shoes anew to go to the bath to have a shower. Actually he was tired, like meanwhile always after having sex with Penguin, but since he had come on his own stomach again, he really wanted to wash himself. Not that he had not wiped it away with a tissue as always, but to him this was not enough. Did he possibly hope that he could wash away what he liked so much? His, in his eyes still abject fondness? Probably he did subliminally. And this despite the fact that he had slept so often with Penguin by now.
But nevertheless there was a part inside him that did not want to accept this and constantly told him, he would show weakness by doing this. Anyhow he could not stop it. It simply felt too good - too relieving.
He was riven inside. The less he still wanted it on the one side, the more he longed for it on the other side. And the more often he did it with Penguin, the stronger this side became. Preferably this side even just wanted to hold the older up from leaving and to ask him to stay. But right that moment his refusing part had come out on top and had let him go. Now he would spend once more a night on his own, alone with his fears and nightmares. Since the ease and the insouciance, which Penguin afforded him, left always with him. At least sometimes he had been lucky yet that having sex had exhausted him so much that he had been even too tired to dream anything at all. But unfortunately this was not always the case - probably tonight neither.
He had just stood up when the cabin's door flew open with a bang and he gazed a bit alarmed towards it.
"Captain, that's enough!" It was Shachi, who stood wrathfully in the doorway and snarled at him.
Law's expression was visibly surprised: He had never seen him like this before. Hitherto he had even never thought that the younger was able to fall into a rage this heavily.
"He is really dead drunk," the doctor explained his behaviour to himself.
Furiously the red-haired walked towards him, "I won't stand back any longer while you're trampling on other's feelings and hurting them!"
The older grew stiff: Was he speaking about himself? Did Shachi not tolerate any more what he always did to him?
But the other continued unexpected, "What you are doing to the women is bad enough! But… I won't allow you to hurt Peng any more!"
While speaking Shachi had to take a breathing space, which showed his intoxication.
The doctor's expression got darker now, "Could you tell me what you're talking about?"
"I'm talking about how rotten you're to him after you…" But Shachi could not speak on.
Penguin had rushed into the room, grasped him from behind under his arms and pressed one hand on his mouth. "Stop talking crap, Shachi! You're talking yourself into trouble!"
Again his friend protested and pulled the hand from his mouth, "Well, so what! He can't deal with you like this! That's not what you deserve!"
"Shut up!" Penguin shouted at him angrily but obviously also in panic, knowing very well what was looming beyond Law's fierce mien.
And this mien became increasingly broody and threatening. Because aside from the fact that Shachi had simply infringed his cabin, his private sphere, Law had now picked out one thing for sure: He knew about him and Penguin. And this did not please him - not at all!
That he had gone too far, Shachi now realized at this sight in spite of his blood alcohol level, too.
Since everyone on board knew this evil and dangerous aura very well. He got chalk-white and felt suddenly more than sober again.
"Damn, what have I done?" crossed his mind.
Actually he was not the type that did such actions. Had the alcohol controlled him so intensely? Had it made him losing his patience and facing down his captain? Him, who otherwise tended more to tears than to uncontrolled blowups? Panic crawled up inside the youngest.
And also his older friend, who was still holding him, was not visibly anxious. Nevertheless he managed within seconds to push Shachi back out of the room, throw a panicky "Get the fuck out of here!" to him, slam the door and lock it from inside.
"That won't help him!" he heard Law's angry voice from behind him, "ROOM!"
Penguin spinned around, hurried up to his captain and grabbed without hesitation his outstretched arm at his wrist, while the cabin and probably the whole ship got under his control.
"No!" he tried to stop him and restrained him from turning his hand for a "Shambles". "Please, Law… Captain… That'll be on my head."
But Law's face remained unchanged, "Too late. He knows it."
"That's my fault! Only mine!" his opposite lied and tightened his grip at Law's arm, "You can do to me whatever you want. Cut me into the smallest pieces and throw them overboard. But don't hurt him!"
Although Law had never done something like this before, Penguin had never feared his captain's reaction like this. But now he wanted to rescue Shachi from suffering the consequences for all this at all costs.
"I don't care who's fault it is," Law spitted, "I won't allow that anyone else will also come to know about it."
He did not intend to do Shachi a real mischief, but he wanted to teach him a lesson to intimidate that much that he would never waste any words on it.
"This will not happen!" Penguin's now piercing glance came unexpected. "Shachi doesn't spread such things around. You can trust him!"
The older had not reflected about the last words. But combined with his expression they dazed his counterpart surprisingly. Once more that one word, which knocked Law out of his stride, had been mentioned. His "Room" disappeared. Motionless he gazed at the other. Penguin kept the look in his eyes up, but took a little breath inside. He could feel how Law's arm became heavier in his hand, as he obviously did not hold it up by his own effort. Therefore he released it slowly.
"Trust," Law turned his shoulder on him, "don't make me laugh! Finally you told him about it too. And this although you had promised to keep it to yourself."
Penguin noticed the furious, but also disappointed undertone in Law's voice, he spoke calmly without shouting though. Fortunately he was not a hysterical person. But nevertheless the older guessed that he had made a big mistake and destroyed every glimmer of trust, if there had ever existed one.
"He," Penguin halted slightly as he knew that he had just purported that it was his fault, "followed us a few days ago and spied on us."
Immediately Law's slightly milder becoming expression got anew darker and he flashed at him out from the corner of his eye, "Haven't you just now said that it was your fault? Why do you always come to his defence? Even if he is like a little brother to you! He is twenty-two years old and therefore old enough to take responsibility for what he does. You don't have to take the blame for him!"
Speechless Penguin behold him, before he looked aside, "I know that I care too much about him. But this is just who I am. I always want to protect those who are important to me - also from their own stupidity."
"And for this you would even let me cut you into pieces?" the other snarled.
The older looked back decisively, "Yes!"
Law sighed, lowered his head and laid his the fingers of his right hand at his forehead, "I don't have to understand this."
"As if it was that hard to comprehend," his counterpart mumbled.
But Law did not dwell on it and looked up again, against the wall towards him though, "Does he also know how we do it?"
"No. He thinks I'm passive," Penguin paused once more at speaking, "just like he is."
Law cringed inside, "So you know also that he and I…"
"Of course," the older cut him short harshly, "since in this case you don't take much care to keep it on the low. Otherwise you would not fuck him in the treatment room. And gradually I wonder if it's up to me and if you're ashamed of me."
Unexpectedly fast Law faced him and replied quickly, "Bullshit!"
"So you're still struggling with yourself inside?" Penguin regretted that he just had to realize this as he had really hoped Law would not have any more doubts.
"What were you thinking? I am still the captain. Nobody would take me seriously anymore if anyone of the others would get wind of how I let you…," Law did not finish this part of the sentence, because he could not.
But it was clear what he had intended to say.
"I've told you one-hundred times that I won't tell anybody. Yeah, Shachi found it out that we have sex. But I even won't tell him how we talk and treat each other then. Not for all the money in the world this will come over my lips, because THIS generally has nothing to do with anyone apart from us. Yet I can't do more than promise this again and again and also tell you that you finally should stop thinking anyone wouldn't take you seriously anymore or even despise you! This is just idiocy!" Vigorously and also a bit upset these words left Penguin's mouth with the result that Law now looked glimly down. "Just trust me if I say that it is like this and that you don't have to worry about it!"
This calm sounding extension made Law's mien even more convulsing.
"Stop it with your stupid trust!" he hissed, "Trust makes you vulnerable. Therefore it's idiotic to trust in others."
Abruptly Penguin's expression seemed enraged. These words put him in an unbelievable sad mood.
Law walked around the bed's end over to his desk, whereat the other now could see the scar on his back again. What was said and this view brought painfully to his mind that someone had extremely broken the doctor's trust in the past, so that he was talking like that now. Also he got once more the impression that Law felt alone.
"Truly there are much more scars inside him than only the one on his back," Penguin considered silently and began to doubt if he would ever be able to make the younger trusting in others or at least in him. But still he did not want to surrender - not yet.
Law made clear though that he had backpedaled a long way at his purpose, when he now shut his logbook unquietly and turned at him, "Why didn't you tell me earlier that Shachi knows it? Or did he just tell you?"
Penguin eyed his captain across the bed, truly aware that Law felt vindicated anew to assume trust to be bad.
"No, I'm aware of it for some days now," he admitted, "but I wanted to avoid that you don't want to do it anymore."
Unintentionally he aroused the others anger again, "Aha? Because you think it's hot to nail your own captain?"
But to Law's loud voice, Penguin now also reacted with an upset and forcefully one again, "No, damn it! Forget that shit of being the captain! I give a shit in this case!"
"Why then?" was the angry answer, which came from the other side of the room.
Again Penguin hesitated before he finally revealed his true motivations for the first time, "Because of the same reason that I already told you when we did it the second time. Yeah, sure it satisfies me, too, when we have sex. Especially since we're having it off a bit rougher. I doesn't only make you hot. But even if this was the case, I would still sleep with you, precisely because I had the feeling that it does you good and makes you relax, even though only for a short time. Everybody here onboard knows that there is far too much going on inside your head and stresses you. But also everybody knows that you don't want to talk about it. I haven't implicitly hoped that I could change anything about this. However if I can make you feel better at least a little bit, I would do almost everything for it! This was the main reason. I want everybody on this ship to feel good. So also you."
Once more a lot of things began to tumble inside of Law. He had not guessed that the other really had always thought of his well-being, but had only acted based on his own lust.
Nevertheless he remained stubborn and looked away. "I'm fine. Better care about Shachi. He needs you more than I do."
"Yeah, of course you're fine," Penguin looked away too and panted a little bit sardonically, "but everything that Shachi needs right now is a cold shower."
He had understood that Law was still refusing any help and asked him indirectly anew to leave him alone. But he did not suspect that his captain regretted once more how he used to treat the younger and only used him to compensate for his own doubts and feelings of weakness.
"Does he know that I'm relaxing at it?" Penguin looked up surprised when he asked him this question, which confirmed that he had been right.
"No. I already said, I don't talk about what happens or happened between us." Now he smiled slightly, but kept his thoughts to himself, "So he realized himself that it does him good."
"I just wonder," Law continued monotonously, "as he mentioned that how I treat you was not what you deserve. Sounded like he knew something."
Law knew that he admitted that to him it was more than simple satisfaction of sexual desire.
"I think this did not apply to you," Penguin explained soberly, "he just owes me some things which I did for him when we were kids."
Now the surgeon, who had to confess that he only knew less about their past, had to smirk, "So you've always been the big, strong brother who protected him, weren't you?"
Penguin laughed shortly, "Yes. Too right!"
Right that moment Law ascertained something else while looking at the other: Although both were facing each other half-naked the whole time he did not feel the need to sleep with the other now. He enjoyed his presence though. It had a calming effect to him. Why? He did not know at all what was going on inside the other's mind. Where had his suspicion and distrust suddenly gone? Why did he now want the other to stay and felt uncomfortable at once when he turned to go?
"It's late. I'm sorry that we kept you from sleeping. If it's okay, let's talk about the consequences tomorrow as soon as Shachi is sober again." Penguin watched him, waiting for Law's consent.
But it did not come.
Instead he asked anew an unexpected question, "He also said, I had hurt you. Is this true?"
Now the older was a bit embarrassed but kept up the eye contact, "No."
"Why than did he say this?" Law looked at him confused.
He really could not explain to himself how he should have cause any harm to Penguin. Or was it only because Shachi thought that he treated him the same at having sex? Once more Law felt guilty.
But Penguin clarified it after a brief hesitation, "He knew that I have been with you earlier. And he saw me coming back depressed. At least it looked like this to him. Indeed I felt like this slightly because I always think I'm leaving you alone with your thoughts and sorrows, as if I was only focused on my own fun. Every time, when I leave you here, I feel bad about it. I always thought, that… you might feel better if I stayed. But meanwhile I've understood that this is nonsense."
Law's eyes widened with every sentence that the other spoke. This was exactly what he had always felt and what he did now even stronger: He longed for more of Penguin's closeness but only this at having sex. But he had always send him away and later let him go of his own accord. He was used to sleep alone behind the locked, thick steel door. So he was not attackable directly while he was asleep. And his distrust had simply grown too big as if he had ever followed the deep, inner wish of not being alone. Preferably he had always addict himself to his restless thoughts and dark memories, than the foreign feeling of not being alone. Because, that was what Law suggested, as long as he was locked in here alone, he was safe. But the massive door could not stop his nightmares and fears to get through to him. Anyhow would it change if he was not alone? Hard to imagine.
On the other hand he still felt the more and more growing stronger wish that the other would stay with him tonight, since his presence affected him anew incredibly becalming. And this even though he did not do anything special. He just stood there in some distance, eyed him a bit disappointed but finally still self-confident and radiated, probably unwitting, a enormous calmness - a calmness which Law wished inside himself too. Because although he pretended to be that calm, his inside was, like also Penguin and the rest of the crew obviously knew, a big pile of emotional chaos - a spiral of negative thoughts, which dragged him under most of all at night, wherefore he also liked to stay awake desperately, to escape at least from his frightening dreams.
"As already said: It was bullshit. So just forget it." Once more Penguin turned more towards the door.
But Law stopped him anew, "Maybe... it's better if you let Shachi alone for a while."
Confused the other turned back at him again and observed Law as he opened his jeans and put them off, before he folded them in half and hung it over his desk chair.
Penguin eyed him sceptically as he could not explain himself what was the point of this reaction. "He will think that you've seriously chopped me up if I don't come back soon."
Now it was Law who laughed slightly mockingly, "It's alright if he thinks it tonight. 'Cause it doesn't matter if he knows about us or not, in any case he has barged in my room and as you know I really dislike this. So a little punishment must be."
Again Penguin had to laugh shortly. Yes, he knew like every other crew member that their captain really disliked if someone came into his cabin without knocking. More than reasonable towards the older one, because regardless of whether it was due to the fact that Law wanted to keep his emotions and thoughts to himself, he was also entitled to have his privacy. It also annoyed Penguin from time to time when some of his fellows barged into his and Shachis cabin without knocking. However some of them simply had this bad habit, although Shachi actually had not.
"That's true," Penguin smiled, "nevertheless I want to sleep."
"Then do it," it came tonelessly from Law, "here."
The smile disappeared and an expression of speechlessness became visible in the older's face: Was he kidding or did Law really offer him to stay?
"What?" the younger replied at facing the other's motionlessness, "You wanted to stay. Or did I mishear it?"
"No," it came first incredulously from Penguin before he recollected, "I mean yeah, I always wanted to stay. But not for my sake. I don't want that you feel even more uncomfortable just because I'm here."
Law went over to the bed and opened the thin blanket, which looked still messy as a result of their previous activity.
"I don't mind." Anew this was not the entire truth, he knew himself and did not face the other again.
Penguin could imagine, too, that he definitely did care, as his captain was generally no person of casualness. But that he did not send him away now, meant particularly one thing: Law did not want to get rid of him implicitly. If he had really intended this, he would have been able to do it. Therefore there must have been something inside him that wanted to have him here - even without sex. Happiness increased within the older. Had he maybe a chance to get even closer to Law? Would he allow it sooner or later?
But Law remained sober as usual when he sat down on the right side of the bed and glanced at him, "But stay on your side and don't even think about coming close."
Penguin smirked, "Got it."
Of course he had prefered to give him more affinity, but probably he should not rush it. That he allowed his presence at night now for the first time, was much more than the older had expected this evening - than he had expected anyway.
"Oh and let the door locked," the doctor said quietly, while he grasped at the blanket.
Penguin walked towards the bed, "Sure."
He had not even thought of unlocking it. He knew that Law locked it every night. And this was also what they always did when they had sex. So it was beyond dispute to change anything about it, besides he was alright with everything that made the surgeon feel well.
He stopped directly in front of the bed, "Shall I get my blanket?"
"Why?" Law shook it once so it fell completely over the bed and his legs, "This here is big enough."
Indeed, it was. Actually much too big for one person, was what you could think. But Law was the captain. He called a cabin, which was also bigger than all the others, his own and besides he had also a bigger bed than the crew members. And this was due to him in his position, the older thought. Anyhow he obviously did not have to care if it would be a problem to share the blanket without any body contact.
After Penguin had took off his jumpsuit, he sat entirely on the soft mattress, too.
"But don't you dare to pull it away from me!" Law addressed him once more with serious words and glanced grimly at him.
He grinned, "I'm not tired of life."
"Compared to Shachi," the other quipped surprisingly.
"I'm really sorry that this could happen, Law." As if it was normal meanwhile, both did not notice that Penguin called him anew by his name rather than by his title.
"Stop it", the younger moaned, "I've already told you, you shall not blame yourself for his mistakes."
"I know", the older yawned and let himself fall back onto the pillow whereat Law viewed him, "but I've never witnessed him like this before."
"And I already thought, I had missed it. But if even you don't know him like this," Law's eyes looked through the room.
"No. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow. I simply can't imagine that it was only the alcohol that cause such a heavy reaction." Penguin closed his eyes and turned on his right and therefore towards Law.
He did not notice how he grew stiff as again it went through his mind how he treated Shachi sometimes and especially while they had sex.
After a while of silence anew he heard a yawn from the left, "Whatever you're thinking about, stop it and try to sleep!"
Surprised he looked back at Penguin, who's eyes were still closed but who had probably perceived that Law had not laid down yet and was sitting next to him. Although he hated orders and advices of others, he did not mind at all the way his counterpart was talking to him.
Now the older ogled him with one eye and smirked, "Or shall I repeat the thing we just have done, so you can't do anything but sleep?"
Law knew what he was talking about: They really had not had it off softly tonight and he had been pretty exhausted afterwards. And this tiredness gripped him still to the morrow, which was why he had also discarded the idea of having a shower yet.
"Not necessary." Law laid down on his back, smirked a bit though.
"Good", Penguin closed his lid anew, "because I'm actually too tired."
His voice got more and more quiet while speaking. The younger turned his head in his direction: He already seemed to be asleep.
"This was fast," he determined.
He became slightly jealous as he fell never asleep that quickly. He looked him over how he was lying there next to him breathing calmly. The elongated, silvern, tubular earring at the outer edge of his left auricle flashed through some black strands of hair in the yellowish light of the bed lamp on Law's right. He had just got it a few days ago. Probably he had only done it on a whim. But Law considered that it looked good on him. With it Penguin even appeared somehow a bit more appealing to him. No surprise: He did not wear four earrings himself because he did not like them. It was the same situation with his tattoos. And he would have liked to have even more of those. He only wore some on his forearms and hands. But it had not crossed his mind yet where to tattoo next. He lifted his left hand's back in front of his face and looked at it. Most of the other crew members wore this kind of body decoration, too. Probably this was a penchant that they all shared. Law had to smile minimally and glanced at the man besides him. Penguin only had one tattoo. And much to his regret he could not see it right now, since it was on his right scapula, but he had turned his back towards the door. He knew exactly what it looked like though, because he had memorized it yet at those several times that his eyes had inhered his naked body: It was the letter "S" in curved but also jagged and big font. Law did not know what it represented, but he assumed that it applied to Shachi. Even though he had not yet discovered a tattoo at him which remembered of Penguin. But sure he had never eyed him or his tattoos up that closely - neither in the bathroom nor while having sex.
The doctor pursed his lips. Anew the thoughts, of what he did to the younger to cover his doubts concerning what he did with Penguin, returned. He lowered his hand and eyed the ceiling. Every time, after he had slept with Shachi, remorse overcame him.
Once more he watched Penguin, who was still sleeping silently next to him, from his eye's corner. The two friends really seemed never to talk about how they made it with him, Law. Otherwise Penguin, who had obviously an immense protective instinct towards the younger, would not lay here so calmly by his side.
"I have to stop it," crossed Law's mind, while he also remembered Shachi saying that he would just hurt everybody, "I'm sure he spoke about himself, too. And I also harm Penguin and he doesn't know."
Law continued watching the older for a few more moments with mixed feelings, but without realizing that his presence did not feel strange at all, before he finally fell asleep, too.

Several minutes Shachi had endured in front of Law's cabin, after Penguin had thrown him out, and had not run away, like his friend had told him. Too much he had worried about him. Even though he hardly could ever imagine that their captain would do something seriously to his crew. In the rare case that he had let them make the acquaintance with his devil powers in any way as a punishment, he usually had only done it for a few minutes to teach them a little lesson.
But just now the surgeon seemed more enraged as ever before. And the redhaired could understand very well how much it seethed inside the other, after all he had clearly heard that he, Shachi, actually should not know anything about the affair between him and Penguin. Moreover he had just gatecrashed into his cabin.
Therefore he had assumed that Law would really dismember Penguin in little pieces and afterwards start on him. Yet Law's "Room", which had also enwrapped the hallway, was gone again after a few moments. In turns he had still heard both voices coming out more or less loudly from the room. Again no clearly understandable word had run through to him, of course, so that Shachi did not know what they had spoken exactly. Nevertheless this time he had not tried to eavesdrop at the door, but rather he had leaned against the wall opposite the door, unsure if he should wait longer. But sometime it had become really quiet. Either meanwhile they were talking less noisy or, and that was what Shachi assumed, they did not talk anymore at all.
After a few moments of silence Shachi heard how one of the doors, which led to the deck, was opened. Familiar voices echoed through the corridor and announced the return of several of his friends, who had still been at the bar. The young man pushed himself off the wall. He knew that he would only come under pressure for failing to offer an explanation if he would hang around the captain's cabin any longer and would have been seen like that by them. He glanced again at the door: Still it was silent behind it, while the voices of the other became louder.
He smiled briefly, whereas he was bit by bit sure inside why he could not hear something from Penguin and Law anymore:
"Maybe Peng has managed to calm Law down and they have gone to bed."
The same moment he imagined how they were lying arm in arm in Law's bed. A tear came out of the corner of his eye. Hastily he turned away and walked with fast steps back to his cabin, before also the rest of the tears, which all of a sudden pushed under his eyes, got outside. Shortly after he was around the corner, Tomo and a few others approached him.
"Oi, Shachi!" But the addressed one did not react.
He did not even look at them. Instead he just opened the cabin's door hurriedly and disappeared behind it. The wondering glances of the others did not interest him. He was too busy with himself and his feelings, which once again went head over heels inside him. Whole streams ran down his cheeks, while he now leaned from the inside against the door for the second time tonight.
He had wished that Penguin could stay with Law - for his best friend. He loved him too much to not grant him this. But once again he and not himself was now the one, who was with Law. Still he did not put the blame on Penguin.
Sobbing he went slowly to his bed, while he had only one thing in mind, "You're powerless against Peng. Accept it, Shachi. No matter what it is about, you'll always be the loser."