The next chapter is here! The random periods were just to separate the letter from everything else. I didn't like it chunked together, and I didn't think it deserved an entire separate section so that happened. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter Sixteen

The driver took the bags from his hand and made his way to the carriage. Mr. and Mrs. Black waited to bid him farewell just outside the entry. He took a deep breath and stepped outside, slipping his gloves on and pushing the material down between his fingers. Jackson pulled his coat tighter against him and savored the protective layer against the harsh late October morning.

Jennifer offered him a small smile as she grasped his hands. "It was a pleasure having you here. I have missed home, and now I will miss you."

"Well, you and I will see each other again. You will return for the holidays and see your home again. We will all be eager to greet you."

"I am afraid we won't make it for the holidays. Mrs. Gooding requires our presence," Mr. Black stated. "Perhaps my wife will be able to visit after."

"Ah, yes, of course. We must keep the Madame happy," Jackson said; his eyebrows and lips forming parallel lines.

"Precisely. You are always welcomed at our house, Mr. Overland. My wife and I will accept you with open arms."

"I am glad you hear." The young man turned back to his friend. "I will write once I return home. We shall keep in touch until we are able to meet again."

"Yes," she answered with a smile.

The clattering of hooves turned the trio's attention to a brown mare pounding down the drive. Her rider tightened the reins and eased her to a stop. In one swift movement, he swung his leg over her back and landed on the ground. Brown eyes caught the slight stumble and the favoring the gentleman directed at his left foot for the first few steps after the impact before shifting into a regular gait.

"Ah, Mr. Haddock," Mr. Black greeted.

"Mr. Haddock," his wife echoed.

The gentleman nodded his head in recognition before turning to Jackson. "I came to send you off with my aunt's regards."

"I thank her. Please inform that I have enjoyed dining with her, and will miss her company," he responded on rote. In truth, he could lively happily with never having to be graced with her presence again. "I thank you for bringing me this message," he said as an afterthought.

"I will inform her."

Mr. Overland gave a small bow back towards the Blacks and turned to the carriage. The driver stepped up to open the door but was cut off my Mr. Haddock.

"I can do this," he stated simply. "Prepare the horses and yourself for the journey."

The driver's eyebrows rose for a moment before lowering. With a nod, he did has he had been instructed.

Green eyes turned to meet brown. A hand raised and gestured to the inside of the carriage.

Jackson pursed his lips and made his way over. He gripped the side of entrance to steady himself as he stepped up and inside. Adjusting his coattails, he sat down and forced himself to stare forward.

"Here," the gentleman muttered as he slipped a letter onto the seat across from him as he shut the carriage door. "I only ask that you read and reflect on it. Nothing more."

"I will promise nothing," he answered, keeping his eyes ahead of him.

A quiet sigh caught his ear as the carriage door closed. Mr. Haddock shouted to the driver that he could head out.

The quick snap of a whip split the air. The carriage jerked forward. Clopping hooves and clattering wheels filled Jacksons mind as he was jostled about. His eyes darted to the folded parchment across from him. He glared at it for a moment. His heart surged with a passion to rip it and throw it from the window; he had no desire to hear any more from that man.

But, curiosity tickled at the back of his mind: a pestering fly that buzzed around, echoing questions that rebounded around his skull. With a huff, he leaned forward and snatched it. It was heavy. He inspected it and saw that it contained at least four pages. His lips pressed tightly together as he broke the seal and read:

.

"Do not worry that his letter will contain any repetition of the affections spoken of the other night; I am not so crass, and I hope would give me at least that. I do not desire to cause you any more pain or disgust at the thought of a man such as me feeling the way I do, and I do not wish to force your hand into accepting flattery where you do not wish to seek it. I would have left the matter as it was; however, there are some things I wish to clarify. I can only talk—well, write—to you; whether or not you accept my words or sentiments as truth or error is solely dependent on you. I will not take such a thing from you.

"There were two offences which you condemned me to—both differing but not in their severity. I shall address the matter you first presented, well, first. So, in regards to my involvement in separating my friend from your sister, it was not long since we had been in the country before I began to notice Mr. Liely attachment and preference for your sister. I was not worried; I have often seen him grow enamored by various people at many times in his life and in many forms of attachment. Not until the ball at Dreki Vollr did it begin to worry my mind. After our dance - discussion out on the balcony, I headed inside where I was approached by Mr. Bennett. He spoke of Mr. Liely's attention to the eldest Ms. Overland and of the expected upcoming nuptials. It was so, I found out, that many people were looking forward to an impending wedding announcement from the couple. I took observing my friend closely: his manner, his touches, his voice and his words. In this I discovered that his preference for your sister outweighed any of the other attachments I had seen him form over the years of our acquaintance. I then, in turn, watched Ms. Overland and could find no trace of a reciprocated affection. Certainly, she was as cheerful and as charming as always, but I could find no reason to believe she held a preference for my friend. –If you are not mistaken in your sister's affections, then I must have been in error. The latter is most likely, seeing as I lack the superior knowledge of your sister you possess. –However, it cannot be denied that to my eye she seemed no different with Mr. Liely than with any other gentleman present. In regard to the rumors and the knowledge of your family's station, in addition to your mother's persistence, I could come to no other conclusion than she did not love him but was focused on gaining his wealth.

"Mr. Liely left for business soon after with full intention of returning, and this is where my involvement comes in. I was not the only one uneasy with this relationship; his cousins felt the same way as I. I left with him and took the time to explain my worries to him. He denied my complaints at first, claiming that he firmly believed that your sister matched his passions. However, I stood with my argument. Mr. Liely trusts my judgment—almost to a fault—so it was easy to convince him against immediately returning. He has stayed away in Corona since.

"I cannot find reason to blame myself for pain caused by these actions on your sister's part. I acted on what I saw expressed. Perhaps, I acted so violently in his case because I saw myself in him, and I did not wish for him to grow attached to a love he may not be able to hold and call his own. The only thing I truly regret was withholding knowledge of you sister being in the city. Ms. Vickson knew of the visit, and through her I learned of it. We both decided to not inform him, and he remains ignorant of her presence. Perhaps, this was below me, but it is done now. I cannot amend it and I can offer no more apology than this. –If I have injured your sister, it was done unknowingly. You may view this reasoning as insignificant, but I cannot bring myself to see the error in my actions with the knowledge I possessed.

"As for the other—the belief that I have, in defiance of well-wishes and wills, denied honor and humanity to ruin the well-being of Mr. Fitzherbert—I do not know what he has fully accused me of, and I can only account the story in full and my reasoning; I hope by the end you understand I took action to keep honor and humanity. Mr. Fitzherbert was the son of a man on the estate and well-loved by many there. It is true that he was a favorite of my father as he was resourceful and cunning with people in a way I never could be or had hoped in being. We were close in youth, along with my cousin Colonel Ingerman, and spent many days in friendly revelry. When he grew older, my father aided in paying for his schooling as he saw a bright future ahead of him—hoping he would join the church—and felt he owed it to the son of a man who had served him faithfully. My father was his godfather and insisted on funding him liberally in his pursuits. After he died, I had every intention of continuing to pay for his studies. However, he approached me one day and informed me that he no longer desired to do so. He wished to travel to India and find his wealth there. He asked for the money that would have gone towards his education to fund him and my blessing. I gladly gave them and he resigned any claim he had to the church.

"It would be a few years until I saw him again. He appeared at Berk, and I welcomed him as a brother. I was eager to here of his travels, having been prevented of having my own after my father died. Business kept my attention most of the time, but when I was finally able to sit with him, he informed me that his situation was bad. He refused to present me with details, but the sum I had given him had been depleted, he had not made it to India as he had hoped—though now I doubt he had ever desired to go—and now wished to join the church again. I expressed my remorse over his situation but informed him that the church was no longer open to him. He grew upset and demanded I at least compensate him. I informed him I could not; my father's money is focused on keeping my sister's life pleasant and insuring she has a desirable dowry. He asked for my own money. I told him that it was my own, and I did not owe him the allegiance my father had. I had granted his wishes and his ill-judgment brought him to his current circumstances. I regretted what had happened, though, and offered him stay at Berk until he was back on his feet. You can hardly blame me for his response; nothing can come from this world—we cannot make it—if it is not through our own efforts, inventions and intuition. He did not stay long.

I did not cross his path again until last year. My sister is near ten years my junior, and when my father had died, her guardianship was shared between my aunt and myself. Aunt disliked her in public view at the school in Corona she was attending and took her out. I argued that her education must still be pursued, and she hired a private tutor. I do not believe it coincidence that Mr. Fitzherbert chose then to pay a visit. It also became apparent that he had ties with the tutor as he managed to personally visit with her frequently during his time visiting. Rachel remembered his kindness towards her as a child and opened to him, relishing in his attention and stories of his travels. He managed to convince her into an elopement. She was only fifteen, and thankfully her character would not allow me to suffer in ignorance. She wrote a letter informing me of the decision. I luckily received it that day when I returned from business, and I managed to stop them before anything was able to happen. I informed Mr. Fitzherbert that if he truly cared for her this was not the way to receive my family's good favor or keep her honor. He seemed torn for a moment before fleeing. I did not try to understand his feelings or motives, and, if I am to be perfectly truthful, I didn't care to know them. That day in Burgess was the first I saw of him since.

Aunt was quite harsh in her reaction to the event, blaming my sister for the injury suffered. I pulled my sister away, and she has remained at Berk since. She diligently teaches herself, and I gladly provide materials for her to do so. Rachel is a resilient and carefree girl. This misfortune with Mr. Fitzherbert upset her greatly, and I am saddened every day I don't see the light that used to sparkle in her eyes. I feel she truly loved him, and the betrayal hurt her. But, she is strong, and I have faith that one day she will overcome it.

"I have now conveyed the full story of each action you condemned me of. I can offer no more. If you are able to not reject this as false and accept at least part of it as truth, I hope you will grow to see me in a kinder light. Perhaps not as a kind man, but at least as a man who tried to do what he believed was right for his family and friends. I do not blame you for your views; you made them as I made mine—with the information presented before you at the time. I simply hope that you will take this new information into consideration as well.

"And as for my proposal, I meant every word, though not in the way you may have taken it as. As much as I would desire for our life to be as any other couple's, it cannot be denied that such things in present company are not easily done. My career demands that I keep the respect and admiration of many; without it I cannot succeed, and without success I cannot care properly for my sister. Though I have managed my father's money as best I can, I require my own income to provide for her up to and through her married years. Such a life with you would risk my position and stifle my income which—though it will injure my life—will injure Rachel's. In addition, she will be forced to carry the stigmatism that would be held over her head at the rumor of her brother's preferences. As much as I wish for a life between us, my sister is dear to me and has been through too much for me to act selfishly and risk her future.

"I have said all I may say. I am left with but one thing: God bless.

HENRY HADDOCK

.

Jackson let out a breath he had known he had been holding. He folded the parchment with trembling fingers. He lifted his hand and tapped the letter against his chin and lip. His head was muddled. His heart was on fire. He couldn't dismiss everything, but he couldn't ignore the gentleman's words. He wished to get home soon. Emma would be returning in a few days, and he could talk things over with her. The only issue was that he did not want to discuss the topic surrounding her in fear of hurting her, and the other seemed too personally to share without Mr. Haddock's express permission.

He shut his eyes and tried to rest his head against the bucking carriage seat. He was going to have to sort this out himself. His fingers tightened around the letter; it crinkled under the pressure. His chest squeezed and his eyes popped open. He smoothed out the wrinkles. His fingers hovered for a moment before he opened the parchment and read the letter again.