Chapter Fifteen

"Nausea is the primary concern. Usually we'd prescribe antiemetics if any nausea seemed to be setting in, but in your case, I'd rather not risk it. We don't know what the effect would be mixed with the Zydrate. Also, your sleep patterns may be affected. To which extreme, I'm unsure, but be prepared for both..." a sigh, "Alois, you're not listening."

Nope. It was funny how Claude's voice could go from soothing to grating depending on Alois' mood. Right now, it was like hearing Soma sing. Pencil, meet eardrum. Eardrum, meet pencil.

The rain was really lashing down outside. It was bad, even by England's standards. The window of Claude's office was so streaked that all Alois could see as he resolutely avoided that disapproving look was the blur of greens and browns that made up the gardens. There was something almost hypnotizing about the way the water struck the glass, the little pings as it bounced back much more interesting to listen to than Claude's rambling about throwing up or whatever.

Not that that meant he was going to shut up, of course.

"If you feel out of the ordinary in any negative way, you must tell me immediately. Is that understood, Alois?"

The petulant pout he probably didn't even know he was wearing made way for a wicked grin.

"Immediately? So you'll come whenever I say so?"

He looked Claude in the face for the first time that session. As always, there was nothing in his expression as he looked at Alois, just that careful blankness he gave everyone. God, it pissed him off.

Claude very obviously hesitated, searching Alois' face, and Alois made sure his was just as blank as Claude's. Two could play at that game.

"...Within reason, yes."

Did he always have to speak so goddamn formally? It was like talking to fucking Spock.

"Even in the middle of the night, when all the other kiddies have gone to bed? My door's locked. How am I supposed to get to you?"

Ah-ha, was that exasperation Alois glimpsed there? It was gone as quickly as it came, of course, but it had still been there.

Alois: 1, Claude: 0.

"If such an occasion were to arise, you'd have to knock on your door to get Ciel's attention. He can tell Ash to come and find me."

Alois had stopped listening as soon as Ciel's name had been spoken, any shred of humour he felt torn away. He didn't miss it. He was probably the only one who wouldn't. That something in the way Claude said Ciel's name. Claude always sounded like a robot, but when he spoke about the blue-haired boy, he sounded almost human.

No. Alois steeled himself against the thoughts in his head. The jealousy was always the same – a searing fever, growing hotter and hotter as his vision grew greener and greener. The jealousy had claws that scraped teasingly at his chest, but at a word from Claude or a glance from Ciel, those claws plunged through him like a hot knife through butter. The jealousy didn't allow for logic, didn't care that Ciel was his friend, couldn't believe that Ciel didn't want Claude's attention.

No. But Ciel was the only friend he had, and while he loved Claude, he couldn't let himself ruin that. Claude wasn't the one who sat with him through the Jim episodes – not any more, not since he saw Ciel – and Claude wasn't the one who bartered with Agni to get him a night light – but Claude made him think the dark wasn't so terrifying, anyway – and a guy needed a friend in a place like this.

Alois fell silent once more. This time, however, it was not a petulant silence. He wasn't speaking, not to be contrary but rather because there was simply nothing to say.

Claude rose and walked over to a small fridge, one that certainly hadn't been there before. It was mostly empty, as though only there for display, apart from a small tray at the bottom. He carried the tray back to the desk, reaching into one of the drawers and pulling out a needle.

Claude prepared the Zydrate like there was an art to the process, going intentionally slow as though trying not to spook Alois. Usually, Alois would have been thrilled at the slightest consideration from the man, but all he could think was that Claude would never have entered Ciel for an experimental trial in the first place.

The needle was like ice when it broke the skin, goosebumps rising on Alois' arms. He couldn't stop staring at the liquid in the needle, entranced by the almost luminous blue of it. For a moment, he thought he'd still be able to see that blue glow even as it flooded into his veins.

"I've cancelled my other sessions today. I'm going to monitor how long it takes for the drug to take affect. When you start feeling different, let me know. As you're the first, we have very little prior knowledge as to how the Zydrate will affect your system, how long it takes, etcetera. So spare no details."

The next hour elapsed in near silence. The only time it was broken was when Claude asked how Alois was feeling, and he was lucky to get so much as a monosyllabic answer. It wasn't even due to pettiness by that point.

Alois was blank.

Zydrate was slower than his usual medication but when it finally started kicking it, Christ on a bike, it was sudden. One minute, Alois was silently seething, the claws of jealousy sinking deeper into him. The next, there was nothing. A blissful blankness. He knew he was angry, and he knew why and at who, but the feeling just wasn't there any more. It was like his emotions had an ON/OFF switch and someone had flicked it to the off position.

His mind was unaffected. He remembered his anger, his jealousy, his fear that he was losing his two most important people to each other. He just couldn't summon up the feelings to go along with the thoughts.

It was like he felt nothing at all.

Ciel Phantomhive existed in subtlety.

He was slouched in the chair Claude had brought in to the office especially for him, identical to the one he seemed to favour in the ward. Plush cushions, comfort was always Ciel's priority. Widely spread arms which only highlighted his short stature, he didn't need to appear visibly large when his very presence was larger than life. He sprawled across it, legs dangling over one arm, head resting on the other, his posture alone making it clear that Claude was lucky to have even a fraction of his attention.

The air of ease Ciel tried so hard to project was an entirely false one. It was amusing that he thought he had Claude fooled for a second.

While he lay across the chair as he did his own bed, he was visibly tense. A vein in his jaw jumped erratically, the fingers of his hands twitched as he fought the desire to clench them into fists and he kept shifting ever so slightly, as though wary to get too comfortable.

Ciel would never speak of fear, but words were always unnecessary for them, because Claude could see it any way. The way he'd catch a flash of Ciel's little pink tongue as he constantly wetted his dried lips, how the pupil of his eye would dilate whenever Claude made a movement Ciel wasn't expecting, how hard his heart was beating whenever Claude came closer than Ciel was prepared for, so much so that he could see the small movement of that frail chest.

Would Ciel run, he wondered, as Ciel grew increasingly uncomfortable beneath Claude's intent eyes, gaze darting to the locked door. Ciel didn't blush when he stared like Alois would, and he was glad for that. A blush would only have ruined that perfect porcelain paleness.

Those scratches at Ciel's temples had scabbed over now. His mind wandered, as it often would, to how another redness would look against that white skin. Not a blush, something starker, something he could touch –

"Am I supposed to start then?" The question was a sharp whisper, Ciel uneasy enough to ask it yet not daring enough to mean it. Still, it had the desired affect, stopping Claude's eyes from crawling all over him so shamelessly.

Claude had taken his glasses off again. Ciel hated it when he did that.

"Is there something in particular you'd like to talk about?" Claude asked, nothing if not polite.

Ciel scrunched up his nose, giving a lazy shrug of his shoulders, "No."

"That's fine. I had a topic in mind, as it happens," that flicker of uncertainty in his cerulean eye said more than any amount of scared screaming ever would, "I spoke to Angelina last week. She told me about Elizabeth's engagement."

Ciel was hardly surprised. Claude had a way with words and Ann had always been susceptible to charm. Still, he wished she'd rambled on about her own wedding rather than give Claude the perfect opportunity to bring up Lizzie.

"How do you feel about the news? The two of you were very close as children, I believe."

"I'm happy for her. Her fiancé sounds like a good man." He sounded wooden, even to himself. It wasn't that the words were untrue. He just didn't like where this was going. Any time Claude started talking about Lizzie, it was never a pleasant conversation.

Claude didn't respond, going back to that shameless staring. Ciel's unease returned tenfold, not that it had ever left. Had he slipped up? Given something away in that minimal response? If he had, then that was it. Lizzie would be the subject, would always be the subject now, that Claude would use to get under his skin. Shit. He didn't want Claude talking about her. He wasn't good enough to talk about her.

Claude finally looked away. It was all Ciel could do not to sigh in relief. At least it was, until Claude took his notebook out of the drawer and began scribbling away. What was he writing? One sentence, it had been one sentence! How much could Claude have gotten from just that? Yet the pen kept scratching away, unbearably loud, and what lies was Claude weaving now?

Ciel had to make a conscious effort to stay in his chair. A part of him was desperate to demand to see what was being said about him, and another part of him knew that if he asked nicely enough then Claude would probably comply.

"The wedding is in December."

Of course it was. Winter was her favourite season, and what was more romantic than snow?

"Depending on the progress you make in our sessions, it may not be completely out of the question for you to be able to attend."

Ciel gaped, actually taken off guard. Oh, but he wasn't about to mistake this as an act of kindness, he knew better than that after all these years. Claude always had that curious habit of saying one thing and meaning something else entirely.

And Ciel knew that when Claude made that statement, what he was really saying was that if Ciel behaved, co-operated and did exactly as Claude wanted, he could be free of St. Victoria's before the year was out.

Claude donned a chilling smile.

"So, Ciel, what did you do?"

Agni's bedroom was entirely unspectacular. Very few personal touches, the bare minimum of clutter, and no doors to adjoining rooms. At least in that sense, he had it good and Sebastian was envious. Even now, he still woke up to the red-haired bed intruder and had constant attempts made on his life by Will, who seemed to think that Sebastian's very breathing disturbed his sleep. Well, pardon, Princess, but breathing can be a necessity.

It was for that reason that they had congregated in Agni's room rather than Sebastian's own. It was safer to assume that his neighbours were enemies than to think of them as, if not allies, at least indifferent to the goings on. Grell certainly did have that air to him, one of those people you met and just knew you'd be seeing on the news one day. Then there was Will, who was far too knife happy for Sebastian's comfort.

Regarding Ronald, he had no opinion. Honestly, he forgot the bespectacled man worked there most of the time. He spent more of his shift in the reception keeping the woman on the desk company than he did on the ward. Ronald seemed harmless. That probably meant he was the most dangerous one. Sebastian was going to keep an eye on him.

"Ash... No, he hasn't requested to see me. Why, has he you?" Agni asked, brow furrowed deeply.

"Mm, the other day. Called me out on leaving the ward when I was covering his shift. He's really not said anything to you? He made a point of saying that my keycard had been registered on the system. That means yours was too."

While he should have been baffled, a part of Sebastian wasn't surprised. In an asylum ran by the lunatics, why should anything make sense? However, that meant that Sebastian had been singled out. He had an idea of just why, too. Ash had barely bothered trying to find out why he'd been wandering around the Institute – curiosity, my ass – before jumping down his throat about Ciel.

Agni's card wouldn't have been registered anywhere near the ward, so there was no risk that he'd let Ciel out. Therefore no reason to call him out on the entire situation.

That begged the question of why they thought Ciel had been out of the ward in the first place. Were they just covering all their bases, or did they have genuine reason to suspect?

"The other day? And you're only just telling me now? What happened, what did he say-"

"Down, boy," Sebastian snickered, "If anything had happened, after the state you saw Finny in, do you really think I'd be sitting here having this conversation with you?"

Agni didn't look convinced.

"What, so he just asked you then believed whatever lie you told him? Ash hasn't gotten to the position he's in today by being gullible, you know."

"I couldn't agree more. It's ridiculous how easy this has ended, anti-climactic even," Sebastian gave a half hearted shrug, "But it'd be even more ridiculous to keep digging into it. I'd only be shooting myself in the foot."

Agni gave an exasperated sigh, "This won't be easy, Sebastian. If they're treating this whole thing so lightly then it's for a reason, and probably a reason that's going to bite us in the butt. You can't be so relaxed about it."

Sebastian just shrugged again, giving a what can you do smile. Agni barely refrained from rolling his eyes. His friend could be so bipolar sometimes. One minute, he was all tension and action. The next, it was like the world was hardly interesting enough to keep him awake.

If one thing had come out of the whole Finny incident, it was the repairing of Sebastian and Agni's friendship. Repaired, yes, but that was not to say completely healed. Sebastian was still suspicious about Soma – though the rational side of his mind was wavering there, said suspicion was born from information of Claude's, and really, should that be who he was making his judgements based on – and Agni was still resentful of that suspicion – though the rational side of his mind was also wavering there, Sebastian was only concerned and whatever had caused the man's accusations probably weren't his fault.

Regardless, the matter became the elephant in the room. Soma became a taboo subject between them. After all, they couldn't afford a falling out now that they knew just what their enemies could do – someone had erased a person's existence from everyone bar Sebastian's mind. That alone was enough to give them pause. How had it been done? Some sort of hypnosis, but surely that couldn't be done so suddenly to so many, and why exclude Sebastian? Perhaps a drug, but how had it been given to the staff without any outward traces?

They were no closer to solving the question of how, so instead, their thoughts turned to the question of why.

"I didn't really catch what that boy, Finny, said. But I definitely heard him say that he saw something he shouldn't have, something about the Third Chairman,"

"Yeah. You've been here longer than me, any ideas just who that is?"

Agni frowned, nibbling on his lip as he thought. "Not at all. To be perfectly honest, I never see the two Chairmen I do know. They're not even on the grounds most of the time. They generally just leave things to the Head Orderlies. I think they both have offices in the city. This Third Chairman might do, too."

"Wait, no," Sebastian interrupted, shaking his head, "When Tanaka introduced me to Undertaker, he said that Undertaker was here year round."

"No, Undertaker is never really here. I've never even seen him in his office," Agni corrected, "So it wouldn't surprise me if the other Chairman is the same. As far as I know, none of the Orderlies have met him."

Well, this conversation was turning out enlightening. No one knew anything then. Fantastic.

"But Finny said that everyone was in trouble. Clearly this trouble has something to do with the Third Chairman," Sebastian reminded Agni, who gave a troubled nod.

"So, do you think the whole Finny thing involved just this Third Chairman, or other people? Do you think it goes as far as the Head Orderlies?"

Sebastian sat up, having been lounging on Agni's bed, suddenly restless. He took to pacing around the small room like a wild animal suddenly caged.

"No... no. This memory thing, whatever the hell it is, I have a feeling it's gone as far as Ash and Angela. I mean, Ash had me right there in his office, but he made no mention of Finny. Why not? Clearly there's no issue with hurting the staff, Finny is testament to that, so if Ash knew what was going on, there'd have been no point in pretending otherwise. He had me right there. He could have easily punished me, tried to anyway, but he didn't even seem about to try."

Agni's mouth moved wordlessly for a moment before he slumped down in his chair, a portrait of exhaustion. "So, basically, we have no idea what's going on or what to do about it."

Sebastian paused in his pacing, looking thoughtful for a minute, "...Nope."

Agni rubbed at his eyes tiredly. "I guess the best we can do for now is to just keep our heads down and our noses clean, huh?"

"Sounds like a plan."

They both knew plans very rarely worked out like intended. This went doubly for plans in St. Victoria's Asylum.

They were meeting in Angela and Ash's office. There was something about the three of them congregated in that overly sterile room, all stood around the desk with their heads bent together that just screamed Evil Council Of Doom.

"He's a complete failure. Shouldn't have expected anything less, given that he's an acquaintance of that Agni's," Angela hissed, the name leaving a bad taste in her mouth. She couldn't stand most of the things she was forced to rub shoulders with on a day to day basis, but the softly spoken and weak willed man was one of the worst. She'd rather squeeze lemon juice onto an open wound than be stuck in a room with him.

"Yes. From what I've seen, Michaelis will be useless to us," Ash agreed, flicking a non-existent bit of lint from his shirt.
The two looked towards the third person in the room, waiting for him to play yes man for them, but agreement was not forthcoming.

"You're being too hasty. Not everyone is going to be a Grell. Sebastian is a pig-headed person, he won't change his ways so easily," Claude stated, looking from one sibling to the other. The distaste on their faces was crystal clear. It was his belief that they wanted Sebastian to be a failure, simply due to their dislike of him rather than any genuine proof. He continued before they could cut him off, "It's clear that the patients have gotten their claws into him. This isn't damage that can't be undone. He simply needs to be... taught."

The fair-haired duo remained unconvinced, but they always were ones to think of practicality.

"New members of staff aren't easy to come by," Ash grudgingly relented, "It would certainly be prudent to at least try."

"And if we're unsuccessful, we can always just pass of the more menial jobs to him, I suppose," Angela conceded, lip curled.

"Of course. Leave it to me," Claude gave a tight-lipped smile, "I'm sure Sebastian will see our way of thinking, given the right circumstances."